× Register Login What's New! Contact us
Results 1 to 11 of 11 visibility 1952

Would you marry a sister like this?

  1. #1
    anonymous's Avatar Restricted Member
    brightness_1
    Anonymous User
    star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Gender
    Undisclosed
    Religion
    Undisclosed
    Posts
    4,132
    Threads
    1531
    Rep Power
    0
    Rep Ratio
    6
    Likes Ratio
    6

    Would you marry a sister like this?

    Report bad ads?

    Salam

    If there was a sister who seems practicing however her house is a mess, would brothers especially practicing ones be inclined to marry her?

    I would just elaborate on what I mean by a house that is a mess. So her house is rundown, extremely old and broken. The walls are stained, the carpet on the floors are torn and old, the windows are broken, ripped curtains, the paint is chipping from the doors, etc.

    Also, her furniture is all old, damaged and second hand. She has no sofas, just really old mismatched chairs, a really old table with loose feet, no tv, decorations or anything pretty. The cups you drank juice in were really old and chipped and the rugs on the floor are old and ruined.

    If she is practicing and has piety, would brothers overlook her housing conditions and be inclined to marry her? Or would it be a dealbreaker? How would brothers feel about this?
    Would you marry a sister like this?

    IB Forum Anonymous Account.
    Available to those who wish to be anonymous in the Advice & Support section.

    Abuse of the Anonymous System will NOT be tolerated!

  2. Report bad ads?
  3. #2
    Studentofdeed's Avatar Full Member
    brightness_1
    Slave of Allah
    star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate
    Join Date
    Sep 2018
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    836
    Threads
    166
    Rep Power
    35
    Rep Ratio
    42
    Likes Ratio
    57

    Re: Would you marry a sister like this?

    how did you come to meet her? How do you know for sure she is pious? Do your research. Many people appear pious and they hide many things. If her house is not clean that she could be like that after marriage. However if her house is just broken and she is renting, then that is not in her control. Make sure to involve family, get advice, and pray istikhara
    | Likes Avis liked this post

  4. #3
    *charisma*'s Avatar Super Moderator
    brightness_1
    #AlwaysInMyDuas
    star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    I am a traveler, May Jannah be my home ameen
    Gender
    Female
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    5,085
    Threads
    200
    Rep Power
    146
    Rep Ratio
    102
    Likes Ratio
    61

    Re: Would you marry a sister like this?

    This doesn't seem like an issue of cleanliness, it seems like an issue of poverty. If you marry her, you're the one responsible for giving her a better life, so her poverty shouldn't matter to you.
    If it's an issue of cleanliness/hygiene then it will definitely have an effect on marriage because no one wants to be in an unclean house or have an unclean partner.
    | Likes Imraan, N/A, keiv, Alpha Dude, Avis liked this post
    Would you marry a sister like this?

    D e a t h

    is the easiest
    of all things after it
    ; ;

    the hardest
    of all things before it

  5. #4
    Imraan's Avatar Full Member
    brightness_1
    Full Member
    star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate
    Join Date
    May 2018
    Location
    UK
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    417
    Threads
    57
    Rep Power
    36
    Rep Ratio
    20
    Likes Ratio
    69

    Re: Would you marry a sister like this?

    format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous View Post
    Salam

    If there was a sister who seems practicing however her house is a mess, would brothers especially practicing ones be inclined to marry her?

    I would just elaborate on what I mean by a house that is a mess. So her house is rundown, extremely old and broken. The walls are stained, the carpet on the floors are torn and old, the windows are broken, ripped curtains, the paint is chipping from the doors, etc.

    Also, her furniture is all old, damaged and second hand. She has no sofas, just really old mismatched chairs, a really old table with loose feet, no tv, decorations or anything pretty. The cups you drank juice in were really old and chipped and the rugs on the floor are old and ruined.

    If she is practicing and has piety, would brothers overlook her housing conditions and be inclined to marry her? Or would it be a dealbreaker? How would brothers feel about this?
    Housing conditions we set in our homes are either out of choice or circumstance. But there should be no excuse for not being clean. Furniture is understandable, if you cant afford it what can you do?

    If out of choice then that would be a deal breaker
    If out of circumstance then there is room for improvement.

    However and this is from a personal view, if the state of the house matches or exceeds the condition where you live, then brothers would be inclined to move forward for sure... they'll feel comfortable. Given theyve had a short glimpse first hand.. thorough checks needed before committing though.

    Summary: assess persons circumstance and approach to life and their fellow humans. If all good and reasonable then you dont need to worry about rugs n walls and cups, everything in time will fall into place insh Allah...

  6. Report bad ads?
  7. #5
    Assalaam's Avatar Limited Member
    brightness_1
    Limited Member
    star_rate
    Join Date
    Apr 2020
    Gender
    Female
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    2
    Threads
    0
    Rep Power
    0
    Rep Ratio
    45
    Likes Ratio
    200

    Re: Would you marry a sister like this?

    Yes brother how did you know about what her house looks like? Did someone tell you?
    | Likes Studentofdeed liked this post

  8. #6
    keiv's Avatar Full Member
    brightness_1
    IB Senior Member
    star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate
    Join Date
    Feb 2015
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    664
    Threads
    13
    Rep Power
    57
    Rep Ratio
    54
    Likes Ratio
    71

    Re: Would you marry a sister like this?

    Yea it really doesn’t sound like an issue with bad hygiene or bad maintenance just based on what you typed. People who are practicing and pious would not live like that out of choice, so it sounds like money issues. Again, I’m simply basing that from the info you posted.

    IF a brother was looking to get married, chances are she would be the one moving in with him and not the other way around, so I don’t see that being an issue.
    | Likes 'Abdullah liked this post

  9. #7
    BeTheChange's Avatar Moderator
    brightness_1
    Moderator
    star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Gender
    Female
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    2,250
    Threads
    149
    Rep Power
    72
    Rep Ratio
    71
    Likes Ratio
    87

    Re: Would you marry a sister like this?

    Walaikumasalaam

    I don't think any of us us are in a position where we can assume even though as humans we can be very judgemental and presumptuous.

    This lady may prefer to give her wealth to charity and may choose this lifestyle for herself. This lady may not be financially well off. This lady may have the money but may not have the time to fix her house. This lady may have a disability which may prevent her from doing the basic housework etc. Who knows?

    Whether a brother will marry this sister...it will vary from brother to brother. I don't think you should limit yourself. You are best having this conversation with the interested partner insha Allah.
    Would you marry a sister like this?

    Pain and hardships allow you to grow spiritually Alhamdulilah so smile when a so called calamity befalls upon you.
    Alhamdulilah Allah swt is the greatest.

  10. #8
    Alpha Dude's Avatar Full Member
    brightness_1
    Cold of heart
    star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    2,966
    Threads
    46
    Rep Power
    207
    Rep Ratio
    647
    Likes Ratio
    44

    Re: Would you marry a sister like this?

    Wa alaykum salam

    You gave no context on the sister's circumstance yet want people to make a judgement on her, based on the little information you provide.

    Is she living alone or in her family home with her parents? Is she working/financially secure? Is she renting this property or does she own it?

    You should realise that one could live in a run down environment and still be a "clean" person. Conversely, one could live in a mansion yet be unkempt. The things you described, none of them sound like she is deliberately being unclean, rather they all blatantly indicate a lack of finance. You sound very judgemental, if that is the case.

  11. #9
    'Abd-al Latif's Avatar Super Moderator
    brightness_1
    CagePrisoners.com
    star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    3,680
    Threads
    344
    Rep Power
    125
    Rep Ratio
    108
    Likes Ratio
    49

    Re: Would you marry a sister like this?

    Why on Earth are you making a marriage decision based on what others think?
    | Likes eesa the kiwi liked this post
    Would you marry a sister like this?

    And verily for everything that a slave loses there is a substitute, but the one who loses Allah will never find anything to replace Him.”
    [Related by Ibn al-Qayyim in ad-Dâ' wad-Dawâ Fasl 49]



  12. Report bad ads?
  13. #10
    Studentofdeed's Avatar Full Member
    brightness_1
    Slave of Allah
    star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate
    Join Date
    Sep 2018
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    836
    Threads
    166
    Rep Power
    35
    Rep Ratio
    42
    Likes Ratio
    57

    Re: Would you marry a sister like this?

    sometimes you need other peoples opinions. There are many red flags we as individuals miss and need others to see. Hence there are chaperones when we see the person we are proposing to. This brother is not sure and marriage is a life decision. Not a candy you can buy from store and throw it away.

  14. #11
    'Abd-al Latif's Avatar Super Moderator
    brightness_1
    CagePrisoners.com
    star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate star_rate
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Gender
    Male
    Religion
    Islam
    Posts
    3,680
    Threads
    344
    Rep Power
    125
    Rep Ratio
    108
    Likes Ratio
    49

    Would you marry a sister like this?

    Then the brother needs to ask his close and trusted friends and family. Not the general public.

    Apologies if this causes any offence but I will be closing this thread. I do not believe it is appropriate to discuss questions like these with every Tom, Dick, and Harry. They come across as quite degrading.

    As general advice, I would suggest that you decide what you do and do not want in a relationship. Perhaps discussing things regarding what makes a good spouse generally would be a better idea. I would strongly recommend not mentioning any specific or personal characteristics of an individual to avoid causing those people any embarrassment or humiliation.

    It’s clear from everyone’s responses that they’re more interested in digging up personal information about the sister in question rather than discussing generally what makes a good spouse. Whilst cleanliness is a part of eman, it isn’t appropriate to magnify shortcomings that could be down to a variety of reasons, something that you may want to look into first if you’re thinking of proposing to her.

    Please do message me if you have any concerns or queries and I will be happy to clarify and assist.
    Last edited by 'Abd-al Latif; 04-11-2020 at 12:25 PM.
    Would you marry a sister like this?

    And verily for everything that a slave loses there is a substitute, but the one who loses Allah will never find anything to replace Him.”
    [Related by Ibn al-Qayyim in ad-Dâ' wad-Dawâ Fasl 49]




  15. Hide
Hey there! Would you marry a sister like this? Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, we remember exactly what you've read, so you always come right back where you left off. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and share your thoughts. Would you marry a sister like this?
Sign Up

Similar Threads

  1. cant marry her
    By mr moon in forum Advice & Support
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 01-29-2014, 01:35 PM
  2. sister wants to marry a guy who parents don't agree with!
    By sweetgujjigal in forum Advice & Support
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 08-07-2009, 09:04 PM
  3. You may not want to marry her/him if........
    By Woodrow in forum Halal Fun
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 04-15-2007, 02:13 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
create