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Help concerning internet friendship

  1. #1
    Cotu35's Avatar Limited Member
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    Help concerning internet friendship

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    Assalamua alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu.
    Brothers and sisters, I have a doubt about a relationship
    I forge by internet:

    I started to chat 2 years ago with a sister from a famous
    Social media, she was (and is) very helpful to me because5
    We chatted about Islam, religion, our cultures, etc.
    A few months ago she desmostrated me that was interested
    In more than friendship and that we should marry, now
    The thing is that I've said to her that i liked her too and
    We chatted as we were couple (emojis, and lovely words)
    Now I think that I was wrong and that I acted precipitated
    Saying that i had feelings for her, I mean I like but that's it.

    I don't know what to do, should I say the truth that i dont
    Want to marry or anything just "be friends", avoid her little by
    Little so she forget.... Or what..

    Sorry for my mistakes or incorrect words, I'm still learning since
    I converted to Islam alhamdulillah 2 years ago

    Jazakaum Allah khairan
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    Imraan's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Help concerning internet friendship

    format_quote Originally Posted by Cotu35 View Post
    Assalamua alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu.
    Brothers and sisters, I have a doubt about a relationship
    I forge by internet:

    I started to chat 2 years ago with a sister from a famous
    Social media, she was (and is) very helpful to me because5
    We chatted about Islam, religion, our cultures, etc.
    A few months ago she desmostrated me that was interested
    In more than friendship and that we should marry, now
    The thing is that I've said to her that i liked her too and
    We chatted as we were couple (emojis, and lovely words)
    Now I think that I was wrong and that I acted precipitated
    Saying that i had feelings for her, I mean I like but that's it.

    I don't know what to do, should I say the truth that i dont
    Want to marry or anything just "be friends", avoid her little by
    Little so she forget.... Or what..

    Sorry for my mistakes or incorrect words, I'm still learning since
    I converted to Islam alhamdulillah 2 years ago

    Jazakaum Allah khairan
    Walaikum salaam

    if you don't want to to explore marriage with her then, ideally and strictly speaking you shouldnt be chatting to her... prolonged contact can play on your desires and can affect your decision making in the future. Prolonged contact can potentially affect your emotions, heart and desires.

    if you do want to explore marriage THEN:

    - GET MAHRAMs involved asap,
    - Do your isthikhara
    - disregard your emotions or any emotions you may have
    - check compatibiity
    - do background checks
    - carry out reality check... is this a realistic potential spouse
    - check your expectations of marriage, bear in mind people can make promises and break them... you know what that leads to next i'm sure....

    it doesnt have to be done in that specific order, however if you want to explore marriage carry out the above, if any fail. abandon this journey and MOVE ON!

    these long distance relationships are high risk, you havent met them in person, you dont know their mannerisms.

    exchange of texts means nothing. people can't truly express themselves and express their character through words only.

    sorry bro, people have high hopes with these things and choose to overlook some basic stuff.

    "Take all your precautions where possible, leave the rest to Allah swt"

    Please remember me and my family, all oppressed, all suffering, all severely being tested and all being persecuted in your prayers. May Allah swt make it easy for us all.

    Jazak Allah Khair.
    Last edited by Imraan; 06-25-2020 at 11:25 PM.
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  4. #3
    Alpha Dude's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Help concerning internet friendship

    2 years is a long time. It's not good to play with someone else's emotions like that.

    However, if you don't actually like her and have no desire to marry her, then at least be honest with her and stop it in a dignified way.
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