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  1. #1
    Islami.mu'min's Avatar
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    My cousins annoy me :/

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    My family just doesn't get that opposite gender cousins=non mahram!

    Whenever our family meets up, (it has become more often now) I always try not to get close to my male cousins but then they notice and get butthurt and force a hug on me (because our family members always hug each other when we meet up, and cousins are considered like brothers). My family pressures me into hugging them too. I try to make the hand-to-chest signal but it never works. And I feel guilty because I become too pressured and embarrassed (i am a very anxious person sometimes) to firmly let them know that I don't want to do this because if I did, I'd only get pressured and made fun of by my family. They literally get offended when I don't hug my male cousins.

    How on earth do I stop this from happening. I feel hypocritical to always avoid shaking hands with other men at work/school but then when it comes to my cousins I get all embarrassed and give in.. I know I sound ridiculous right now but it is honestly triggering me at this point. And then you get called extreme for following a simple rule ._.

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    Studentofdeed's Avatar
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    Re: My cousins annoy me :/

    Sister keep striving to do good. I was traveling and was peer pressured with shaking hands with the hotel manager. They got angry and said its rude not to say salaaam. I shook her hands. But next time I will have to be more firm. Its challenges you have to face. Even job interviews, work, and life. Keep striving and inshallah your family will understand
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  4. #3
    medico's Avatar
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    Re: My cousins annoy me :/

    Assalamualaikum
    I am really sorry to hear whatever happened with both of you. And glad at the same time that you are aware it's wrong. Personally, haven't come across this situations,most probably because i am still in school. Your family will understand at one point or the other. You just have to be firm and politely explain them all this. They will accept you as you are once you remain steadfast. If you get caught up in the emotional blackmails or them being offended, you may face problems afterwards. And don't get upset due to being called extreme , nowadays if a person follows even few sunnahs, they are considered to be exaggerating.
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  5. #4
    Nitro Zeus's Avatar
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    Re: My cousins annoy me :/

    Quote Originally Posted by Islami.mu'min View Post
    My family just doesn't get that opposite gender cousins=non mahram!

    Whenever our family meets up, (it has become more often now) I always try not to get close to my male cousins but then they notice and get butthurt and force a hug on me (because our family members always hug each other when we meet up, and cousins are considered like brothers). My family pressures me into hugging them too. I try to make the hand-to-chest signal but it never works. And I feel guilty because I become too pressured and embarrassed (i am a very anxious person sometimes) to firmly let them know that I don't want to do this because if I did, I'd only get pressured and made fun of by my family. They literally get offended when I don't hug my male cousins.

    How on earth do I stop this from happening. I feel hypocritical to always avoid shaking hands with other men at work/school but then when it comes to my cousins I get all embarrassed and give in.. I know I sound ridiculous right now but it is honestly triggering me at this point. And then you get called extreme for following a simple rule ._.
    Assalamu alaikum,

    What is so big deal in hugging? I don't see anything wrong with it.

    I believe that this issue with non-Mahran or non-Mahram has to do with sexual relationship but not about family love. Because, I too hug my mom even though she is a Christian, but have I done zina? Nope.

    I believe that you have misunderstood the part with cousin and mahran thing which is why you have issues.

    Let me clarify something

    First of all, there is no problem in touching your cousin but it is just disliked only.

    Second of all, the issue with Mahram and non-Mahram, I believe that it talks about sexual relationship which is why it is forbidden for a non-Mahran to approach a Mahram or vise versa, because that would lead one to commit zina.

    Correct me if you noticed I have made a mistake.

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    HabibUrrehman's Avatar
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    Re: My cousins annoy me :/

    @Nitro Zeus
    There is huge difference in hugging your mom ( your mahram) and your cousin who is opposite in gender ( your non mahram).
    What you said above is totally wrong & have no basis in Islam.
    A woman’s mahram is a person whom she is never permitted to marry because of their close blood relationship (such as her father, grandfather, great-grandfather, etc., and her son, grandson, great-grandson, etc., her paternal and maternal uncles, her brother, brother’s son and sister’s son), or because of radaa’ah or breastfeeding (such as the brother and husband of the woman who breastfed her), or because they are related by marriage (such as the mother’s husband, the husband’s father, grandfather, etc., and the husband’s son, grandson, etc.).
    Last edited by HabibUrrehman; 1 Week Ago at 03:27 AM.
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  8. #6
    Islami.mu'min's Avatar
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    Re: My cousins annoy me :/

    Quote Originally Posted by Nitro Zeus View Post
    Assalamu alaikum,

    What is so big deal in hugging? I don't see anything wrong with it.

    I believe that this issue with non-Mahran or non-Mahram has to do with sexual relationship but not about family love. Because, I too hug my mom even though she is a Christian, but have I done zina? Nope.

    I believe that you have misunderstood the part with cousin and mahran thing which is why you have issues.

    Let me clarify something

    First of all, there is no problem in touching your cousin but it is just disliked only.

    Second of all, the issue with Mahram and non-Mahram, I believe that it talks about sexual relationship which is why it is forbidden for a non-Mahran to approach a Mahram or vise versa, because that would lead one to commit zina.

    Correct me if you noticed I have made a mistake.

    Yes brother it is ok to hug your mother because she is your mahram. However, cousins are not considered related to each other so you cannot do the same and hug your cousin that is an opposite gender
    | Likes Nitro Zeus liked this post


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