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Thread: Please explain

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    anonymous's Avatar
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    Please explain

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    This is another post in reply to my old one abt how Islam is always talking about husbands rights. Why does Islam always threaten disobedient women with such horrible things. What if some lady had a very angry husband and the moment she disobeyed him with a more minor matter, he remains angry for long. There are hadith on how Allah will not be pleased with a wife for as long as a husband is angry at her. And there are soo many hadith threatening women. But then when it comes to the man. It orders him to clothe her and give her food. But then it doesn’t really threaten men into considering his wives thoughts and being kind to them and listening to them etc. All I hear people say is, “think abt how muhammad S.A.W treated his wives.”. Or a few hadith that motivates men to treat their wives nicely. But there are no scary threats. Nothing! Its always, women women women. Even when scholars (like the good imams) give fatwa they say all these thing that women MUST do or else she will suffer. But then they just say, men should do this. And honestly men don’t really need to include their wives thoughts on decisions. So they are literally recommending men to do all these things but then for women, they will suffer badly.

    I understand marriage is important, but it sounds like a dictatorship to me where the husband doesn’t need to much other than feed her and clothe her and dont be mean IF she listens. She literally has to listen to EVERYTHING. I mean, you dont even find any hadith threatening men if they are not considerate!!

    these things are making me depressed and it would strongly help if someone read and considered my post. It makes me not want to get married. I’m sure I will find a good husband but it is very sad to see Islam does this stuff
    Please explain

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    *charisma*'s Avatar
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    Re: Please explain

    Assalamu Alaikum,

    Both the wife and husband have rights over each other. If you're just going to focus on the husband aspect of it, then I don't think you are really understanding the bigger picture.
    The world is not black and white. Yes the wife has to be obedient to her husband but that doesn't mean that he will turn her into his servant. Yes there are punishments, but there is forgiveness. Relationships take work and there will be mistakes whether that relationship is a marriage or not. Just like your parents have rights over you, or your siblings, or your friends. Allah says in the Quran you can't even utter "uff" towards your parents, yet I'm sure we have been disobedient to our parents at some point or another. So you can't expect things to be perfect 24/7 in any relationship. You fix your mistakes and you carry on lol. No point in having this immature way of thinking.

    The solution is simple really, choose a good husband or stay single. If you have a problem, communicate and resolve it.
    If your husband turns out to be a bad person, then you can divorce him.
    I don't see why you are allowing yourself to get worked up about it.
    Last edited by *charisma*; 1 Day Ago at 06:33 PM.
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    Please explain

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    Re: Please explain

    Quote Originally Posted by anonymous View Post
    . I mean, you dont even find any hadith threatening men if they are not considerate!!
    Dear brother/ sister,

    السلام علیکم ورحمتہ اللہ وبرکاتہ

    When Imaan enters someone’s heart, he or she starts understanding the real message of Islam in every aspect of life even if something specific is not mentioned or someone has not read it ever. How can a “Man” expect paradise while treating his wife badly for Allah SWT and His messenger (PBUH) are giving warnings even to those who do not treat their animals with kindness?
    I think there is no more severe punishment than throwing someone out of paradise or disqualifying someone’s credentials to be eligible to enter paradise. I am quoting the following ahadiths in this regard of course they do apply to all husbands as well.

    "A rude and ill-tempered person shall not enter Paradise.
    Abu Da'ud

    عَنْ أَبِي الدَّرْدَاءِ قَالَ قُلْتُ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ دُلَّنِي عَلَى عَمَلٍ يُدْخِلُنِي الْجَنَّةَ قَالَ صلى الله عليه وسلم لا تَغْضَبْ وَلَكَ الْجَنَّةُ
    2411 المعجم الأوسط للطبراني باب الألف باب من اسمه إبراهيم
    7374 المحدث الألباني خلاصة حكم المحدث صحيح في صحيح الجامع
    Abu Darda reported: I said, “O Messenger of Allah, tell me about a deed that will admit me into Paradise.” The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said,
    “Do not be angry and you will enter Paradise.”
    Source: al-Muʻjam al-Awsaṭ 2411
    Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Al-Albani


    2840 صحيح مسلم كتاب الجنة وصفة نعيمها وأهلها باب يدخل الجنة أقوام أفئدتهم مثل أفئدة الطير
    قال النووي قيل معْنَاهُ مُتوَكِّلُون وقِيلَ قُلُوبُهُمْ رقِيقةٌ
    1/59 رياض الصالحين باب اليقين والتوكل

    Abu Huraira reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said,
    “People whose hearts are like the hearts of birds will enter Paradise.”
    Source: Ṣaḥīḥ Muslim 2840
    Grade: Sahih (authentic) according to Muslim
    Al-Nawawi said, “It is interpreted to mean they are those who rely upon Allah, or those who have soft hearts.”
    Source: Riyāḍ al-Ṣāliḥīn 1/45

    Finally, the wife has been given the right to get separated if her husband don't have the qualities "to be a man".
    Hope this answer your question.
    Stay blessed.


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