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  1. #1
    repenting soul's Avatar
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    Question homoromanticism and islam

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    Assalam-u-Alaikum, my fellow Muslims! I sincerely hope all of you are doing well.

    I think it is important to note that the word I used in the title of my thread is "homoromanticism", not "homosexuality", because I do not feel lust towards men or women, but before I get into this, I think there's some details I need to mention: I've been a hijabi for more than a year now, I'm in my final years of high school, and I've started praying 5 times a day (and will Inshallah remain steadfast on this).

    I've been facing a very grave issue and have no idea how to deal with it. Some time ago, I half-believed that Islam allowed homosexuality and that the story of Prophet Lut (A.S.) was meant to speak of sexual assault and not homosexuality, but I've come to realise that it's actually both.

    Now, after watching a scholar's video on whether homosexuality is a sin or not, I've come to the conclusion that homosexual attraction is not sin but acting on that attracting and committing homosexual acts is indeed a grave sin.

    The word I use for myself is not "homosexual" or even "homoromantic" as the thread title suggests, but "biromantic" as I experience aesthetic attraction (not to be confused with lust, I have never experienced that) to both, men and women. I know that I can never pursue a woman romantically, I've come to terms with that.

    My mind tells me that it's okay to experience this attraction as long as I never act on it, and since everyone in the world currently takes "pride" in being LGBT+, I thought I should "be myself" as well. This lead to me telling three of my close Muslim friends that I am biromantic, and they all were "proud" of me.

    I think of my attraction to women as a test from Allah (this is also something I've merely deduced since everyone says that people are born homosexual and transgender as a test from Allah, and He will surely reward them plenty in the Hereafter for completing it without transgressing).

    I read that if you think of sinning but don't act on it, that counts as a good deed. Does this apply to my situation?

    Also, is it normal for me to be experiencing attraction to women? I asked a licensed psychologist and she told me that it's normal for anyone to feel this way. So taking that into account, is this something I should "claim": is this something I *should* be telling the people I trust? Is this something I can joke around about? (There are some modern-day jokes going around all over social media e.g. seeing an attractive girl across the street and being captivated.)

    I've cried in front of Allah to give me an answer as I am extremely confused. Desperate for an answer, I turned to this Islamic Board, and I'm hoping for some good Muslims to help me out.

    JazakAllah-Khair

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    *charisma*'s Avatar
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    Re: homoromanticism and islam

    Assalamu Alaikum,

    There are a lot of things at play here.

    Firstly you may be influenced by the media's agenda of strongly pushing homosexuality as a normal state of being. I can't imagine growing up in such an environment and not questioning my own sexuality to some extent. The imagery in movies, shows,, music and even in books elicits sexual desire regardless of whether it is towards men or women. They create romantic storylines to make them relatable and more accepting, so the watcher's reactions come from a place of empathy and understanding. In the larger society, they have parades, advocates, special days to celebrate people who identify as homosexual. They normalize gender swapping with girls dressing up as boys and boys dressing up as girls. They normalize transgenders. Their excuse for all of this is "love is love" "homosexuality is a lifestyle" and "as long as no one is hurting anyone and everyone is consenting, it's OK." These are all transgressions against Allah and against the human soul.

    Homosexuality is indeed a sin. It should be treated just like any other desire that harms the body or soul. It is not a lifestyle, nor something that anyone should be "proud" about, nor is it any significance to your life other than it is just a desire and a sin if acted upon. I actually find it sad and disappointing that you have friends who support this rather than try to help remind you of Allah and the right path.

    Is homosexuality normal? No it's not normal.

    You can appreciate another woman's beauty or consider another woman beautiful. That's normal, but if you have some sexual desire towards a woman this is not normal and it is either caused because of these strong influences around you, or because you may really be homosexual. Either way you shouldn't give in to your desires and I highly suggest you treat women the same way you'd treat males in Islam which is to lower your gaze and increase your connection to Allah. We are in a state of high fitnah with women beautifying themselves, revealing their bodies, being sexually suggestive, etc. This can cause unnatural desires between women. You should be wary of the type of influences you follow or keep around you as well. If your goal in life is to please Allah, then you want to be among company who wants the same and who will encourage you towards this.

    What happens in your mind can't always be controlled, but you can always control your actions and you can keep your mind busy w/ the remembrance of Allah. This is surely a test from Allah and of course you will be rewarded as long as you are patient, refrain from sin, and do good deeds Inshallah.
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    Re: homoromanticism and islam

    Quote Originally Posted by *charisma* View Post
    Firstly you may be influenced by the media's agenda of strongly pushing homosexuality as a normal state of being.
    To be honest, I think this might be it.

    I prayed to Allah last night to cure my anxiety (I'd been on edge the whole day) and to show me a clearer path; I awoke this morning to a very calm state of mind and found myself not caring about the situation as much, and I think that might be the best course of action for me since I don't plan on pursuing a romantic relationship with a woman (or anyone for that matter) and since I don't feel sexual attraction to them either. I feel like it might be good for me to stop thinking about it because you're right, at the end of day, it really doesn't have any significance to my life.

    Quote Originally Posted by *charisma* View Post
    In the larger society, they have parades, advocates, special days to celebrate people who identify as homosexual. They normalize gender swapping with girls dressing up as boys and boys dressing up as girls. They normalize transgenders.
    I read somewhere that as Muslims, we should treat these people kindly. I was researching about "pronouns" and whether or not we should use "they/them" and the other ones people prefer for themselves, and I found that a lot of people (a few scholars as well) that said we should respect people's pronouns or else we are not fulfilling our Huqooq-ul-Ibaad.

    Of course, I also believe that such "lifestyles" are not allowed in Islam because Allah created a man and a woman, so this is not something we can encourage at all here.

    Allah-u-Alam, surely He knows best.

    JazakAllah Khair for taking time out of your day to answer my concerns.


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