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    Doubts that change perception. Questioning faith while trying to accept

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    Assalamu alaykum

    I feel like there still are things part of Islam that I just have a hard time accepting. I still do, and I can see a little of the wisdom and good behind these things, but I cant take it in positively. In my eyes, I just see the negative more than the positive. I try not to think about it but it is so hard. And I can't think of these things just as "doubts". Rather... I see them as the harsh reality that I have to accept. Over the year, I feel like my perception of Islam has changed. And it has impacted me so negatively. My mental state is different now because of this. Even in my daily life. I'm still trying to accept these things and look at the good side, but it doesn't work. I used to be so much more bright and I constantly loved Islam but over time after getting more knowledge I just became more confused.

    I still see the good in everything but it feels like my perception has been permanently changed and I can never view it the way I did. This also makes me a bit more vulnerable to committing sins

    The only one good thing is that I'm still pretty keen on staying awayy from many haram desires. Other than that. . Everything else keeps falling

    My prayers are so emotionless. I dont feel that good making dua either. Praying doesnt feel good but like a burden. When I hear quran, I dont feel anything, sometimes I even feeling negative when reading/listening to it. I also waste my time so much and skip out on my schoolwork because I get so irritated from this stuff now


    I dont even like hearing religious lectures.. I still do try to listen though.

    Even when I hear Muhammad's name(pbuh)... I don't think about how he was an amazingly kind man who went through so much suffering. I dont think much about him. I don't love him like I used to. Like how a muslim should. I show signs of hypocrisy too

    Even when people are saying these amazing things about Muhammad s.a.w. or islam.. Deep down it just feels like Im not agreeing with what they are saying. Or if someone asks me about Islam and Im saying all these amazing things like I should be saying to anyone who asks... Deep down inside, I keep feeling that Im just lying to myself.

    It really sucks. It makes me keep questioning my faith which I hate doing.

    Ive tried doing things and changing my mindset.. It would work slightly, yet it would fail. Even though our religion has many good things, when I hear about it, I always remember the harsh things that seem very cruel. I have watched many lectures about all the good things in Islam, and heart softening lectures.. I just cant accept them or believe them
    Last edited by Islami.Mu'mina; 10-20-2020 at 08:16 PM.
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    Re: Doubts that change perception. Questioning faith while trying to accept

    Quote Originally Posted by Islami.mu'min View Post
    Assalamu alaykum

    I feel like there still are things part of Islam that I just have a hard time accepting. I still do, and I can see a little of the wisdom and good behind these things, but I cant take it in positively. In my eyes, I just see the negative more than the positive. I try not to think about it but it is so hard. And I can't think of these things just as "doubts". Rather... I see them as the harsh reality that I have to accept. Over the year, I feel like my perception of Islam has changed. And it has impacted me so negatively. My mental state is different now because of this. Even in my daily life. I'm still trying to accept these things and look at the good side, but it doesn't work. I used to be so much more bright and I constantly loved Islam but over time after getting more knowledge I just became more confused.

    I still see the good in everything but it feels like my perception has been permanently changed and I can never view it the way I did. This also makes me a bit more vulnerable to committing sins

    The only one good thing is that I'm still pretty keen on staying awayy from many haram desires. Other than that. . Everything else keeps falling

    My prayers are so emotionless. I dont feel that good making dua either. Praying doesnt feel good but like a burden. When I hear quran, I dont feel anything, sometimes I even feeling negative when reading/listening to it. I also waste my time so much and skip out on my schoolwork because I get so irritated from this stuff now


    I dont even like hearing religious lectures.. I still do try to listen though.

    Even when I hear Muhammad's name(pbuh)... I don't think about how he was an amazingly kind man who went through so much suffering. I dont think much about him. I don't love him like I used to. Like how a muslim should. I show signs of hypocrisy too

    Even when people are saying these amazing things about Muhammad s.a.w. or islam.. Deep down it just feels like Im not agreeing with what they are saying. Or if someone asks me about Islam and Im saying all these amazing things like I should be saying to anyone who asks... Deep down inside, I keep feeling that Im just lying to myself.

    It really sucks. It makes me keep questioning my faith which I hate doing.

    Ive tried doing things and changing my mindset.. It would work slightly, yet it would fail. Even though our religion has many good things, when I hear about it, I always remember the harsh things that seem very cruel. I have watched many lectures about all the good things in Islam, and heart softening lectures.. I just cant accept them or believe them
    Walaikum salaam

    I felt like this previously on rare occasions, many years ago.. Now I don't even get those feelings anymore

    I guess I have stuff to pray for passionately more than ever, so I've been pre occupied with that past few years trying to hold on to faith (even though in the back of my mind I'm thinking will I ever get out of this mess in this life)... Its not out of the norm to doubt, its human instinct / a psychological reflex. Just depends how 'open' a individual is about it.

    I have to focus on the afterlife to anticipate the rewards of suffering, I mean no other rewards seem to be coming here in this life.

    I find myself thinking about the grave, the afterlife more.
    I also feel depressed at times.
    We all have to go from this dunya.... I feel like a prisoner awaiting release.

    Some miracles in Islam you can't deny even if you wanted.. Example night of miraj. Our religion is real, wisdom and virtue are there, more hidden than visible. The grateful ones are lucky enough to see wisdom and virtue in all their affairs.

    Be careful with doubt... Im sure Allah loves you, I'm sure you wouldn't want more tests, the tests that would bring you back to Allah swt crying and brawling to a point where all doubt is wiped... To a point where you yearn for the grave, a peaceful exit.......

    Sabrun Jameel....
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    Re: Doubts that change perception. Questioning faith while trying to accept

    Sister learn more about the Rasool and you will have more love of him. Why? He was good with women and children. He was the best man alive. How can we not love him? You just need to hear more of his amazing stories. Readon why I was guided to Islam was there was a time when eevyone left me...family friends everyone. All I had was Allah. It was then I realized peoole leave, but Allah doesn't. At that moment I felt shame that I had neglected him and never gave him his due rights while he took care of me and gave me second chance in life. We all get moments like this. Just keep trying sister. As brother imran said, Allah loves you. The fact you feel off is still hope and good sign. If you didn't care are were completely neglectful than I would be worried. But mashallah you seem like a good sister and are religious. Compared to the girls in my college. You have surpassed them all. Keep trying sister and Allah will bless you

    - - - Updated - - -

    As for the things you have a hard time accetping...ask and we will answer Insha'Allah
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    Re: Doubts that change perception. Questioning faith while trying to accept

    what are some of the things which you dont like?
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    Re: Doubts that change perception. Questioning faith while trying to accept

    Quote Originally Posted by Imraan View Post
    Walaikum salaam

    I felt like this previously on rare occasions, many years ago.. Now I don't even get those feelings anymore

    I guess I have stuff to pray for passionately more than ever, so I've been pre occupied with that past few years trying to hold on to faith (even though in the back of my mind I'm thinking will I ever get out of this mess in this life)... Its not out of the norm to doubt, its human instinct / a psychological reflex. Just depends how 'open' a individual is about it.

    I have to focus on the afterlife to anticipate the rewards of suffering, I mean no other rewards seem to be coming here in this life.

    I find myself thinking about the grave, the afterlife more.
    I also feel depressed at times.
    We all have to go from this dunya.... I feel like a prisoner awaiting release.

    Some miracles in Islam you can't deny even if you wanted.. Example night of miraj. Our religion is real, wisdom and virtue are there, more hidden than visible. The grateful ones are lucky enough to see wisdom and virtue in all their affairs.

    Be careful with doubt... Im sure Allah loves you, I'm sure you wouldn't want more tests, the tests that would bring you back to Allah swt crying and brawling to a point where all doubt is wiped... To a point where you yearn for the grave, a peaceful exit.......

    Sabrun Jameel....
    May Allah grant you ease.

    I used to be more conscious of the afterlife back when I used to have some problems with my family after I became religious. Alhamdulilah they don't really bother me anymore, especially because I used the chance to get closer to Allah. I am grateful for the fact that I haven't been through major problems with everyone being against me and completely shaking me.. But at the same time I fear these doubts often because I don't take it with the same mindset of tests and hardships. I don't use this as a chance to bring me closer to Allah. I just let it affect my iman level. It feels like I have some kind of pride or just no hope

    Its caused me to cry so often and become angry. Although it feels horrible, the thing I'm mostly worried about is not my anger and sadness, but how much it has an impact on my iman level. I get so scared because it brings me to points where I think about giving up my faith for the reason that I dont like it anymore..

    The interesting thing is.. When I used to be extremely strong in faith without these stupid doubts, I had a close friend who came to me to help. She had a problem where she'd constantly doubt and get extremely anxious all the time about things. She'd doubt go back to the same doubt after countless of explanations. Shed feel satisfied and go right back to it. Like a continuous cycle. I was still new to genuinely practicing Islam at the time so when she came to me for help. I didnt understand her. I just underestimated her problems and let her on her own not understanding how sad she was.

    Then awhile later I ended up going back to her for help when I started getting doubts and it turns out we had the same exact problem. The same things, the same persistent cycle, certain triggers.. Everything. But the difference is that she actually tried helping me instead of letting me on my solve my problem on my own.

    Sometimes I think I got this problem on purpose to make me learn a lesson. Like a punishment or something. Now I have to deal with the burden. But now I have come to realize that you should never ignore anyone when they're going through something even if you don't understand their problem or think it isn't major. The problem may seem small to me, but to that person, it could be severely affecting them in a way I wouldn't understand because I'm not in their shoes. Just because someone looks fine doesn't mean that they are fine.

    It's sad that I used to easily judge before sympathizing with someone. I've changed and become more humble and sympathetic after awhile of experiencing things and helping others on this website.

    And yeah, my friend and I still are close lol
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    Re: Doubts that change perception. Questioning faith while trying to accept

    It's sad that I used to easily judge before sympathizing with someone. I've changed and become more humble and sympathetic after awhile of experiencing things and helping others on this website.
    Now I when i heard my brother saying something similar to "She/he doesn't even have it hard" or "If she/he could think like me, they could easily change" it just reminded me of my immature previous mindset. Because both statements are completely false. Everyone has a different mind, we all respond to pain differently. So it doesn't matter how it looks on the outside.. Because everything may look fine but in reality that person could be breaking down in private and experiencing all types of emotion, trying to remain sane as possible.
    Last edited by Islami.Mu'mina; 10-21-2020 at 05:46 PM.
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    Re: Doubts that change perception. Questioning faith while trying to accept

    Everyone is tested to their lifestyle. Allah gives test based on their faith and level. For example, testing someone with health...they really do not care but look forward to martyrdom but when that same person is tested with loss...it can drive them crazy. Everyone is tested in UNIQUE and different ways. As Muslims make sure to ease anyone and help anyway you can
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    Re: Doubts that change perception. Questioning faith while trying to accept

    Quote Originally Posted by Studentofdeed View Post
    Sister learn more about the Rasool and you will have more love of him. Why? He was good with women and children. He was the best man alive. How can we not love him? You just need to hear more of his amazing stories. Readon why I was guided to Islam was there was a time when eevyone left me...family friends everyone. All I had was Allah. It was then I realized peoole leave, but Allah doesn't. At that moment I felt shame that I had neglected him and never gave him his due rights while he took care of me and gave me second chance in life. We all get moments like this. Just keep trying sister. As brother imran said, Allah loves you. The fact you feel off is still hope and good sign. If you didn't care are were completely neglectful than I would be worried. But mashallah you seem like a good sister and are religious. Compared to the girls in my college. You have surpassed them all. Keep trying sister and Allah will bless you

    - - - Updated - - -

    As for the things you have a hard time accetping...ask and we will answer Insha'Allah
    JazakAllahu khayran brother. You never know, many of those girls you mentioned might've surpassed me in deen in other ways that have gone unnoticed..

    Yeah, I am going to keep trying over and over again I guess. I know Allah might love me. I just cant seem to return it back. I keep losing motivation to try. Continuing my prayers without bothering to contemplate. Yeah it might be good that I feel off.. But the only thing I have ever done is just feel off for so long without making any improvement.

    Sometimes I do wake up and realize that I need to change.. Its a really nice feeling that gets me slightly back on track. I start getting closer to Allah and feeling so positive about my religion.. but then my mindset completely changes randomly and I get stuck for awhile of dwelling on stupid things
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    Re: Doubts that change perception. Questioning faith while trying to accept

    Quote Originally Posted by Islami.mu'min View Post
    Now I when i heard my brother saying something similar to "She/he don't even have it hard" or "If she/he thought like me, they could easily change" it just reminded me of my immature previous mindset. Because both statements are completely false. Everyone has a different mind, we all respond to pain differently. So it doesn't matter how it looks on the outside.. Because everything may look fine but in reality that person could be breaking down in private and experiencing all types of emotion, trying to remain sane as possible
    sister, your doubts may simply be wiswas, or insinuations from the devil, as it was reported in hadeeth that the sahaba even had such terrible thoughts about the prophet (saws) and allah they feared telling him but muhammad (saws) the prophet told them it was a sign of faith, and "blessed be allah who has reduced shaytaan to mere whispers" if they are actual logical questions, dont listen to those christian missionaries or critics of islam, for one, ive been there, it even says in the quran, "they will not stop (o prophet) until they turn you to their religion" as for personal doubts, there was an example by bediuzzaman said nursi who said, if there are 1000 doors to a palace, and 997 or 998 or 999 are open but the few are closed and locked does this mean the palace is inaccessible? likewise, he continued (or his followers maybe i dont remember) while he was initially talking about the existence of god, the same could be applied to the costs and benefits of islam. yes there are ugly things like slavery for instance, but for one, that is a lengthy discussion but in short it was meant to be abolished over time, and was deeply entrenched in the society and the prophet sought to reform it first, the others i wont go into because there are countless criticisms of islam just as there are countless wiswas induced whispers. but i seriously think this may be wiswas. google wiswas or waswasa. as for your brother and family, I have a hard time with my family, too, and have had a hard time. i can relate to the feeling of being misunderstood, including on a societal level, since i have asperger's syndrome. i know it may be harder for sisters due to their nature, but i still have this to say, because i still felt something similar to these emotions. you just can't let what other people say get to you. i know it's hard, but your mind is probably telling you to take it seriously, as if it may be right, but either the person is a) not in their right mind, at the moment, because they may have had a bad day, they just don't grasp the full picture, or they may be feeling like, unfortunate as it is, that they feel comfortable with their family members, so people often go to their family and unload their emotions, which often leads to a love hate relationship, or b) they are wrong, because they are just trying to make themselves feel good by making you feel bad, which happens alot with families, but either way, if they for instance (not literally) called you a giant mushroom, does that mean that you are a giant mushroom? i know the example is bad, but if they are angry, evaluate whether the criticism is useful or not.
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    Re: Doubts that change perception. Questioning faith while trying to accept

    Quote Originally Posted by SintoDinto View Post
    what are some of the things which you dont like?
    They're a bunch of things that randomly come. I have come. I have discussed it with many people but at this point it is something I have to accept and see the good. I think I really just need to increase my iman

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    Re: Doubts that change perception. Questioning faith while trying to accept

    and if the criticism is useful then try to act on it in a constructive way without taking it personally

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    Re: Doubts that change perception. Questioning faith while trying to accept

    Quote Originally Posted by Islami.mu'min View Post
    They're a bunch of things that randomly come. I have come. I have discussed it with many people but at this point it is something I have to accept and see the good. I think I really just need to increase my iman
    im pretty sure that's just waswasa. read my other posts if they get approved by mods, im on warning due to my previous behavior.

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    Re: Doubts that change perception. Questioning faith while trying to accept

    If it gets to a point...post it here and Insha'Allah it can be addressed

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    Re: Doubts that change perception. Questioning faith while trying to accept

    Quote Originally Posted by SintoDinto View Post
    sister, your doubts may simply be wiswas, or insinuations from the devil, as it was reported in hadeeth that the sahaba even had such terrible thoughts about the prophet (saws) and allah they feared telling him but muhammad (saws) the prophet told them it was a sign of faith, and "blessed be allah who has reduced shaytaan to mere whispers" if they are actual logical questions, dont listen to those christian missionaries or critics of islam, for one, ive been there, it even says in the quran, "they will not stop (o prophet) until they turn you to their religion" as for personal doubts, there was an example by bediuzzaman said nursi who said, if there are 1000 doors to a palace, and 997 or 998 or 999 are open but the few are closed and locked does this mean the palace is inaccessible? likewise, he continued (or his followers maybe i dont remember) while he was initially talking about the existence of god, the same could be applied to the costs and benefits of islam. yes there are ugly things like slavery for instance, but for one, that is a lengthy discussion but in short it was meant to be abolished over time, and was deeply entrenched in the society and the prophet sought to reform it first, the others i wont go into because there are countless criticisms of islam just as there are countless wiswas induced whispers. but i seriously think this may be wiswas. google wiswas or waswasa.
    Yeah I keep telling myself they are waswas but sometimes I just keep not believing it. Im just going to not give up though. Oh yeah and I have been through that phase when I listened to critics about Islam.. I wish I wouldn't listen to people in the past but at least it taught how to research well about these criticisms and the truth of these topics. I guess its better to get all these types of doubts when you are young because you will learn how to handle it for the future when your faith is better inshaAllah.


    as for your brother and family, I have a hard time with my family, too, and have had a hard time. i can relate to the feeling of being misunderstood, including on a societal level, since i have asperger's syndrome. i know it may be harder for sisters due to their nature, but i still have this to say, because i still felt something similar to these emotions. you just can't let what other people say get to you. i know it's hard, but your mind is probably telling you to take it seriously, as if it may be right, but either the person is a) not in their right mind, at the moment, because they may have had a bad day, they just don't grasp the full picture, or they may be feeling like, unfortunate as it is, that they feel comfortable with their family members, so people often go to their family and unload their emotions, which often leads to a love hate relationship, or b) they are wrong, because they are just trying to make themselves feel good by making you feel bad, which happens alot with families, but either way, if they for instance (not literally) called you a giant mushroom, does that mean that you are a giant mushroom? i know the example is bad, but if they are angry, evaluate whether the criticism is useful or not.
    Oh yeah usually when I'm mad at my family I try not to show it most of the time so it doesn't worsen a situation. I'd say when a family member makes me mad, I try to just not show that I am mad so I can remain calm. And yeah in the case I explained with my brother, I wasn't really mad at him. I brought this up because I was just thinking about how that mindset he had which unfortunately is very common among many people. Even I used to have that type of immature mindset when I was younger but now I realized that it really is just pride. Pride/arrogance is very dangerous.. After a while I have started observing the mindset of people/friends/fam.. I don't know why but recently I have held a deep interest in psychology dealing with people. It's actually really interesting trying to view things from another perspective in order to help someone.

    i can relate to the feeling of being misunderstood, including on a societal level, since i have asperger's syndrome.
    You have asperger's syndrome? I have heard a little bit about it.. it seems like it can be a challenge may Allah make it easy on you. Does it have a major impact on your day to day life?
    Last edited by Islami.Mu'mina; 10-22-2020 at 03:53 PM.

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    Re: Doubts that change perception. Questioning faith while trying to accept

    Quote Originally Posted by Islami.mu'min View Post


    You have asperger's syndrome? I have heard a little bit about it.. it seems like it can be a challenge may Allah make it easy on you. Does it have a major impact on your day to day life?
    thank you, sister, i was really hard during adolescence, especially when puberty started, wanting to interact with the opposite sex while being unable to socialize at school and most of my contacts being from the muslim community, while gender segregation was the norm, especially turkish muslims (I live in the us, i would post more about why it was turkish muslims, but....spies). it was all very confusing, especially in the midst of growing up over time more and more without a father and with an unavailable mother. other stuff happened, which i dont want to talk about because it's family matters. i also wanted friends, and the media made it worse, made it look like everyone was hanging out all the time as a brotherhood of 4 or 5 or 6 friends of boys and girls, and i would see this in school, seemingly, but as i got older i got more mature, learned life lessons, learned how to socialized, learned the value of islam and self control and imaan, and realized people were often busy and it wasn't all glamour. and that even alot of the people without disorders had the same problems as me. i have a best friend now too, and some less close friends i can rely on for emotional support. ill admit though, it is still sometimes a challenge, but im much better now.

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    Re: Doubts that change perception. Questioning faith while trying to accept

    Quote Originally Posted by SintoDinto View Post
    thank you, sister, i was really hard during adolescence, especially when puberty started, wanting to interact with the opposite sex while being unable to socialize at school and most of my contacts being from the muslim community, while gender segregation was the norm, especially turkish muslims (I live in the us, i would post more about why it was turkish muslims, but....spies). it was all very confusing, especially in the midst of growing up over time more and more without a father and with an unavailable mother. other stuff happened, which i dont want to talk about because it's family matters. i also wanted friends, and the media made it worse, made it look like everyone was hanging out all the time as a brotherhood of 4 or 5 or 6 friends of boys and girls, and i would see this in school, seemingly, but as i got older i got more mature, learned life lessons, learned how to socialized, learned the value of islam and self control and imaan, and realized people were often busy and it wasn't all glamour. and that even alot of the people without disorders had the same problems as me. i have a best friend now too, and some less close friends i can rely on for emotional support. ill admit though, it is still sometimes a challenge, but im much better now.
    Yeah trust me, it isn't even worth it. Most of that stuff on social media is fake. I guess around high school is when kids have a lot of time to hangout but eventually it does get busy. Back when I used to hang out with my old group of friends often in school, some of them always pulled out their phones to post their fake laughs as we hung out. It all ways seems better online but in reality it isn't. Lool my friends used to post things like "3 hrs on call with____!!".. It sounds cute until you hear the real reason.. One of them purposely made the call timer hit that long time just so she can post it on snapchat to get back at another friend for leaving her in order to make her jealous of her and her "new friend".

    Even if they are living their lives up, its all temporary. It is better to stick to Islam. Because they'll be lost by the time they grow old. We don't need to be living that life and hanging with the opp sex. Its only temporary satisfaction. Alhamdulilah you've learnt more about Islam as you said, inshaAlllah your aspergers syndrome will get easier to deal with.
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