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    Nonmuslim friends and extremism

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    So I have a few nonmuslims friends. I cut one of them off because he is an atheist and he was rigid and being around him was not the same after I became practicing. I was put off by arrogance.

    Now I have currently two Christian friends. I tried to give dawah to one of them and was even about to hand him the Quran. He got angry and flat out rejected it. Im still friends with him because we have been friends for 2 years. The other guy I havent given dawah because he is a typical racist white rich type guy. I have considered giving dawah and have tried passively but at times im ridiculed and mocked.

    I'm thinking of trying again but if not then ending terms. Am I allowed to still remain in contact or be friends from a distance or what???? Or just remain cordial and help them if they need it???

    Today I had dinner with these two friends...they started ordering alcohol...I told them no as they were aware I cannot sit by those who drink. They finally agreed. I was still upset as they knew I had conditions but almost ignored it. I told my aunt...she said I'm extreme and never be successful in life. I will be alone and she has seen the world. I failed at giving dawah she says...

    Another thing was they were backbiting people I am not fan of...they are kuffar but also because these people did wrong to me. However I stopped them even though I was so desperate and wanted to know what happened to them as my friend said something bad happened...I fought the urge as I forgave them but I hope it gets accepted by Allah as the urge to find out the gossip was inside me still despite me actively fighting against them and my friends...

    Help me pls...tell me what to do????
    Nonmuslim friends and extremism

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    Islami.Mu'mina's Avatar
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    Re: Nonmuslim friends and extremism

    It is ok to remain friends with non Muslims and you have to be kind with them. But if you are their friends you have to be kind and try to influence them towards good. However, you shouldn't hangout with them when they are doing haram things such as drinking or backbiting. If you fear that these friends will push you away from good character or your deen, then you will have to distance yourself.

    I had a Christian (not very religious though) and agnostic ex Christian friend once. I still do have some other non muslim friends but I have no problem with them at all. I had to cut these two off.

    The Christian friend was very fun but we both went our own ways kindly because it was hard for us to relate with each other because we had two completely different life styles after I became more practicing. So I never really cut her off, it was more of a mutual "growing apart" thing. slowly distancing from eachother

    The other one though, is a different story. She is involved in a very bad life style but I always was there for her because her parents were abusive and I felt bad. She clung onto me and used me for everything, she was very dependent and always needed me but I believe it is because of the neglect she had from her parents. I didn't really mind though. It was just irritating. She still always thanked and appreciated me for being by her side and looking out for her. I wasn't hurt or anything. After becoming religious, we still hung out for another year. But I started realizing how much of a jerk she was. She trash talked everybody, was so arrogant, thought she was a big shot. She was still kind to me though, because I always helped her and went out of my way for her.

    On top of that, there were times she wouldn't respect me and my religious habits. Even in my own house. My brother would be slightly influenced by her and they would make fun of me and call me extreme or crazy (I wont blame her influencing my brother though. Its his fault that he, a muslim, can be so easily influenced by a girl to go ahead and disrespect his sister.)

    Still pitied her and allowed her to be my friend. I remained patient

    What finally ticked me off was when she offended my yemeni friend with a horrible stereotype about those abused yemeni women.. Ive advised her many times to stop talking trash about others. After that I couldnt deal with her. STILL gave her one last chance lol if she apologized to my friend. She told me she would, but she didnt. I confronted her and she was tearing up all depressed but I tried not to let it get to me, I still was kind yet hesitating (I wish I wasn't so easily affected by my pity for others!) but I finally ended it... I still felt bad ._.

    but a day later it was pretty great. I never had to do her favors anymore lol. She wasn't really a fun friend either.. I do miss some moments, eh but not really
    Last edited by Islami.Mu'mina; 10-23-2020 at 09:47 PM.
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    Re: Nonmuslim friends and extremism

    Yes I may have to put some distance...you think Allah will accept me rejecting the backbiting even when they were people who I disliked and wanted to hear about the gossip?
    Nonmuslim friends and extremism

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    AHMED PATEL's Avatar
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    Re: Nonmuslim friends and extremism

    a common theme with many young muslims who suddenly become "religious" is that they actually become judgemental and self righteous.The opposite of religiosity.
    Why do you feel the need to give dawah or break friendships.

    Remain friends and live and let live.
    That in itself is dawah.

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    Re: Nonmuslim friends and extremism

    Distancing yourself away from people that are bad influences in order to better oneself is not a bad thing. I've broke away from friends I grew up with after high school because of the direction they were going in life. I've still seen them around over the last ~20 years or so, but its always a simple "hey how are you" type of relationship. They know my beliefs and what is / isn't allowed and eventually stopped trying to get me to go out with them to the bars and clubs. I have zero regrets...

    There is nothing good in gossip. Telling someone you don't want to hear it or be involved with it, despite how you feel about the other person, is the best way to handle it. Eventually they will get the point and either stop gossiping all together, or simply go to someone else who will listen to them.
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    Re: Nonmuslim friends and extremism

    Asalamu Alaikum, brother/sister(???)

    It's okay to be friends with non-Muslims - I have so many non-Muslim friends. HOWEVER, if they are mocking you or ridiculing you or just generally being rude to you about your faith, please drop any contact with them. Being around any toxic people like that is extremely harmful to you.
    Also, you shouldn't have to give formal Dawah or anything - I oftentimes find myself explaining basic things about Islam to my nonmuslim friends and they generally listen and are interested.


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