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Some advjce on a personal matter

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    Some advjce on a personal matter

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    Salam everyone. I hope you are all enjoying your last few days of ramadan. I have a question and a request.my question is that, is it possible to gain someone's trust back, if broken on false pretences. But to them it feels real because the circumstances molded the environmeent in a way that it manifested breach of trust. I discussed with a close peer and he/she said it is impossible to get it back .... but I have no way of proving them otherwise..as i said earlier things became such that it seemed I crossed my lines. And when they asked I denied that made them think i was being dramatic or lying.


    2nd request. Can you please pray in ur last ten days of ramadan, that Allah grants me the dua i i am making and make that thing good for me. Please recite durood, ask Allah qadir u mutliq to grant me that I am praying for. Because i am at the brink of mental break down. Please make dua for me. I beg of you.
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    Re: Some advjce on a personal matter

    format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous View Post
    Salam everyone. I hope you are all enjoying your last few days of ramadan. I have a question and a request.my question is that, is it possible to gain someone's trust back, if broken on false pretences. But to them it feels real because the circumstances molded the environmeent in a way that it manifested breach of trust. I discussed with a close peer and he/she said it is impossible to get it back .... but I have no way of proving them otherwise..as i said earlier things became such that it seemed I crossed my lines. And when they asked I denied that made them think i was being dramatic or lying.


    2nd request. Can you please pray in ur last ten days of ramadan, that Allah grants me the dua i i am making and make that thing good for me. Please recite durood, ask Allah qadir u mutliq to grant me that I am praying for. Because i am at the brink of mental break down. Please make dua for me. I beg of you.
    Walaikum Salaam

    do not despair too much.... take it easy... count your blessings... keep praying. In Sha Allah I pray your ease will come.... it is a sad world we live in but we still got to live in it, no escape so..... keep praying, have faith and do not lose hope.. I have been praying for stuff for over 3 years, im still praying.... there will be an end to our calamities eventually and may be even replaced with new ones.... Allah swt is always with us.... in sha Allah

    everyone is in my prayers everyday... please remember me and my family in your prayers too...

    Jazak Allah Khair
    Last edited by Imraan; 05-05-2021 at 07:33 AM.
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    Re: Some advjce on a personal matter

    format_quote Originally Posted by Imraan View Post
    Walaikum Salaam

    do not despair too much.... take it easy... count your blessings... keep praying. In Shal Allah I pray your ease will come.... it is a sad world we live in but we still got to live in it, no escape so..... keep praying, have faith and do not lose hope.. I have been praying for stuff for over 3 years, im still praying.... there will be an end to our calamities eventually and may be even replaced with new ones.... Allah swt is always with us.... in sha Allah

    everyone is in my prayers everyday... please remember me and my family in your prayers too...

    Jazak Allah Khair
    How can you not despair after three years. How can I not despair, when everytime I make dua for something, I get the exact opposite? I get it I am not a great Muslim, but the pain is becoming unbearable now. I get the best but it gets taken away because of my emotional instability. I come off as a crazy man/woman bcuz of the trauma I suffered as a child and no one gets it. I got the best relationship and partner and it got taken away. Now I got the exact thing I didn't want. Something I always prayed to God not to give me. Would it not be better to stop praying altogether to avoid despondency!?
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    Re: Some advjce on a personal matter

    format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous View Post
    How can you not despair after three years. How can I not despair, when everytime I make dua for something, I get the exact opposite? I get it I am not a great Muslim, but the pain is becoming unbearable now. I get the best but it gets taken away because of my emotional instability. I come off as a crazy man/woman bcuz of the trauma I suffered as a child and no one gets it. I got the best relationship and partner and it got taken away. Now I got the exact thing I didn't want. Something I always prayed to God not to give me. Would it not be better to stop praying altogether to avoid despondency!?
    Off course i despair, it comes and goes... its part of daily life. its wrong to despair daily too but im human like you and cant help it.
    Still have faith though and keep praying, recite specific dua's to help you. Its a test, what else can you do apart from improve your self?

    i mean its ramadan at the moment, make the most of it, stay up til late in the night (especially the odd nights), reconnect with your spiritual self and do not be overcome by your desires or the stuff you lost/didnt get... ask for them back in prayer.

    stop praying altogether?... nope, that means you lost hope.. its prayer and hope that keeps us sane, praying and fulfilling our obligations to Allah swt the best we can keeps us sane and maintains a direction of living our day to day lives.

    Ramadans not even over and i'm missing it already.

    make more effort in your prayer... do you read quran, pray 5 x salaah, + nafl units

    some of us do need to regurlarly recharge and refresh ourselves on where we stand with our imaan, so we engage in regular ibaadaah.

    don't give up!
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    Re: Some advjce on a personal matter

    format_quote Originally Posted by Imraan View Post
    Off course i despair, it comes and goes... its part of daily life. its wrong to despair daily too but im human like you and cant help it.
    Still have faith though and keep praying, recite specific dua's to help you. Its a test, what else can you do apart from improve your self?

    i mean its ramadan at the moment, make the most of it, stay up til late in the night (especially the odd nights), reconnect with your spiritual self and do not be overcome by your desires or the stuff you lost/didnt get... ask for them back in prayer.

    stop praying altogether?... nope, that means you lost hope.. its prayer and hope that keeps us sane, praying and fulfilling our obligations to Allah swt the best we can keeps us sane and maintains a direction of living our day to day lives.

    Ramadans not even over and i'm missing it already.

    make more effort in your prayer... do you read quran, pray 5 x salaah, + nafl units

    some of us do need to regurlarly recharge and refresh ourselves on where we stand with our imaan, so we engage in regular ibaadaah.

    don't give up!
    Salam
    I am becoming hopeless. It is bad. I know. But i cant help it. I am running out of time. I made mistakes.. i tried to fix them but failed. It is fate.
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    Re: Some advjce on a personal matter

    format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous View Post
    Salam
    I am becoming hopeless. It is bad. I know. But i cant help it. I am running out of time. I made mistakes.. i tried to fix them but failed. It is fate.
    the mistakes you made....? did you oppress anyone, did you harm anyone in any form?
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    Re: Some advjce on a personal matter

    format_quote Originally Posted by Imraan View Post
    the mistakes you made....? did you oppress anyone, did you harm anyone in any form?
    Salam. Not physically. But emotionally I harmed everyone around me.
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    Re: Some advjce on a personal matter

    format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous View Post
    Salam. Not physically. But emotionally I harmed everyone around me.
    the fact that you feel remorse is a good thing, alhamdulillah, look forward, think positive, see if there is a way of apologising, you need closure on this so you can move on.

    better yourself, improve yourself, maybe look at why you did what you did and try to prevent the same from happening again in sha Allah.

    your situation could have been a lot worse....

    emotional harm can be overcome, just takes time, slowly you can rebuild trust with those you have harmed, in sha Allah...

    ive been there myself where i feel im no good for people, because i upset them.... that feeling is only like 1% of the time. otherwise im ok because I know i am a better person than sometimes I make myself to be when im feeling low in morale and spirit. We need people and people need us. isolation and confinement is not healthy, the mind plays tricks on you along with all that was was and whispering and unnaccessary speculation, yuck! stay focused, stay positive, remember your good days, remember Allah swt. if you want why dont you read my story, the one which i have documented from pre 2016, look where I am now? i am still on a journey striving for my daughter, its impossible, yet i wake up everyday and im thankful that i did wake... Subhan Allah.
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    Re: Some advjce on a personal matter

    format_quote Originally Posted by Imraan View Post
    the fact that you feel remorse is a good thing, alhamdulillah, look forward, think positive, see if there is a way of apologising, you need closure on this so you can move on.

    better yourself, improve yourself, maybe look at why you did what you did and try to prevent the same from happening again in sha Allah.

    your situation could have been a lot worse....

    emotional harm can be overcome, just takes time, slowly you can rebuild trust with those you have harmed, in sha Allah...

    ive been there myself where i feel im no good for people, because i upset them.... that feeling is only like 1% of the time. otherwise im ok because I know i am a better person than sometimes I make myself to be when im feeling low in morale and spirit. We need people and people need us. isolation and confinement is not healthy, the mind plays tricks on you along with all that was was and whispering and unnaccessary speculation, yuck! stay focused, stay positive, remember your good days, remember Allah swt. if you want why dont you read my story, the one which i have documented from pre 2016, look where I am now? i am still on a journey striving for my daughter, its impossible, yet i wake up everyday and im thankful that i did wake... Subhan Allah.


    Salam brother. How can I regain their trust when I broke it so bad that they don't wanto talk to me at all.
    Where can I get your story? Is it given on the page? Under what name?

    Please it is a humble request to make dua for me tonight that I get what I want. Othrwise my life will only turn bitter from here on.. Please make dua for me. Please
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    Re: Some advjce on a personal matter

    format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous View Post
    Salam brother. How can I regain their trust when I broke it so bad that they don't wanto talk to me at all.
    Where can I get your story? Is it given on the page? Under what name?

    Please it is a humble request to make dua for me tonight that I get what I want. Othrwise my life will only turn bitter from here on.. Please make dua for me. Please
    Walaikum Salaam, I pray for everyone who is at a genuine disadvantage and is least privelaged in this world everyday.

    Be persistent in your apologies... If no response then move on. Newer people will come in sha Allah... Those you have lost can be replaced by the almighty, may he replace them with those who will benefit you more in sha Allah.

    The link is
    My marriage from day one has had more downs than ups, i feel like im in a nightmare,

    It is a long read.. And it continues... Maybe you'll count your blessings after you read what I go through.....
    Last edited by Imraan; 05-05-2021 at 11:34 PM.
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    Re: Some advjce on a personal matter

    Assalaamu Alaikum. You must get help for your past trauma's otherwise what you put your loved ones through will eventually repeat itself and manifest in some way or another. There is nothing wrong with seeking help especially when it comes to deeply embedded past trauma. You are still obviously scarred and the only way to resolve it is to seek professional help via counseling and therapy. Try and find a good Muslim therapist/counselor if you can.

    Once your loved ones see that you are taking the necessary steps to overcome your behavioural issues then they will start to build the trust again. Most of all open up to Allah fully and beg of him to give you a way out and cry your eyes out to him to help you overcome your emotional trauma's. Especially before dawn. These are the nights to do it. Ask of him for a way and he will open up doors you never imagined. Those doors may not be what you expected but they are what he deems the best for you.

    Much of the time we keep asking for something which in reality is not good for us. So trust in Allah's decision as only he knows comprehensively what is best for us in every aspect of our lives. If a different door opens then we have our answer there that what we wanted was not necessarily right for us.
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    Re: Some advjce on a personal matter

    format_quote Originally Posted by Imraan View Post
    Walaikum Salaam, I pray for everyone who is at a genuine disadvantage and is least privelaged in this world everyday.

    Be persistent in your apologies... If no response then move on. Newer people will come in sha Allah... Those you have lost can be replaced by the almighty, may he replace them with those who will benefit you more in sha Allah.

    The link is
    My marriage from day one has had more downs than ups, i feel like im in a nightmare,

    It is a long read.. And it continues... Maybe you'll count your blessings after you read what I go through.....


    I read your story brother, it seems really sad. Maybe she has some mental health issues.
    And about moving on, I really like that individual. They are a gem.and i know my mistake cost me it. The new people that came i dont like one bit.but i have no option
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    Re: Some advjce on a personal matter

    format_quote Originally Posted by Hamza Asadullah View Post
    Assalaamu Alaikum. You must get help for your past trauma's otherwise what you put your loved ones through will eventually repeat itself and manifest in some way or another. There is nothing wrong with seeking help especially when it comes to deeply embedded past trauma. You are still obviously scarred and the only way to resolve it is to seek professional help via counseling and therapy. Try and find a good Muslim therapist/counselor if you can.

    Once your loved ones see that you are taking the necessary steps to overcome your behavioural issues then they will start to build the trust again. Most of all open up to Allah fully and beg of him to give you a way out and cry your eyes out to him to help you overcome your emotional trauma's. Especially before dawn. These are the nights to do it. Ask of him for a way and he will open up doors you never imagined. Those doors may not be what you expected but they are what he deems the best for you.

    Much of the time we keep asking for something which in reality is not good for us. So trust in Allah's decision as only he knows comprehensively what is best for us in every aspect of our lives. If a different door opens then we have our answer there that what we wanted was not necessarily right for us.
    Wasalam.. I know I should. My unstable health has cost me a lot of problems. Ive shattered relationships and drove who love me away from me..my low self esteem and inability to accept love has tarnished me inside out..i am nothing but flesh and bones left with innumerable scars in their heart.
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