As-salamu alaykum
I don't know where I'm going wrong in life, but for the past couple of years, I've been feeling numb emotionally. I'm sure this is some form of depression. Everyday feels the same. Wake up, go to work, go home, go to sleep. Rinse and repeat mon-fri. Weekends are spent catching up on things that need to be done around the house or just trying to relax from the week before. I do physical labor and drive far distances, so it can be quite taxing on me. In between all this, I keep up with my prayers and other religious duties. I have my own faults, as we all do, but I try alhamdulillah. More and more homeless people are popping up in my area, and there is seemingly more problems going on around the world. As hard as it is to see all this and not be able to do anything, it at least continually reminds me of what I've been blessed with.
While I see the state of the world around me, and as I continue to get older and see those that I care for also getting older, some passing away even, I wonder what I've done with my life. I'm dedicating my life to a company that couldn't care any less about me and I'm wasting my time and energy serving them. I've been thinking of leaving work so I can just take the time to figure out where I want to go in life. I feel like my time and energy should be dedicated more towards benefiting the ummah, however that may be. There isn't much of an Islamic community around here, so trying to get involved with charities or something similar isn't going to happen.
There is a lot more that is on my mind but trying to put it into words in a structured way without going all over the place is difficult. I'd really like to hear other people's input and whether they've been through this or are going through this themselves.
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I have read something called "burnout" -please do a quick search for more advice, but it is essentially about those that work and then don't wish to continue with what they have been doing. I would also think about that after Covid so many people are reviewing their lives of what matters, you may wish to work part time and free up more of your time to perhaps looking at building skills or doing something entirely different.
It is difficult times and even people can't afford to retire. You have not wasted your time by doing your job, people think they need to do more -this is the ploy of Shaytaan to get people to be depressed as well. Take time out to learn about yourself and look at career just for an insight -but don't let it get to you that you could have done things differently -again way of Shaytaan. When you die, you won't care.
People have done so much and they wasted their time as all they needed to do was to pray-and they haven't even done that once and are going to the fires of Hell. It's good to do a job that you can derive job satisfaction, but a lot of people can't even get that.
Before you make any decision, take time to learn more about yourself, even if you are not changing careers, career advice, personality information (not saying they are accurate but normally a good place to start), certainly read up of burnout, there is such a thing as I think it was called "quiet quitting". I don't think it is the best decision to quickly jump to community based work, without going over why are you feeling this way-as what about if it happens in future work? So don't be quick to jump to charity work as just think it is the right place to start and it will just work out as it is a good thing. There are plenty of fun online quizzes to start with -again not saying they are accurate -but search for "16 personalities" if you haven't already seen this one. So, take time out, learn about yourself more and hopefully you'll enjoy the process.
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