Brothers and sisters i am in so much pain while writing this i dont know what to do, i kno jannah is under the feet of your mother, lets jus say entering jannah will be hard for me. My mother shouts screams, and worsly mentally abuses me, i am failure, stupid, ugly the list doesnt end.
One day she is fine the next she will be calling me every name under the sun.
I know i am a failure and i hate life, many people will tell me to pray to Allah swt, as if, i cant even pray am destined to hell, this life is a hell for me too if killing yourself wasnt haram i be dead a long time ago.
I should have gone uni next year i dont even know how to tell her that i might go late, my family is not religious at all, she hardly prayes so it might satan taking the better side of her.
Please i dont know what to do i just know that what she is doing must be haram if it made me like this
look sis be happy you have got a mum i haven't even got one and believe me you will regret it when you don't have and trust mi you will say why did i do this? why am i saying me mum is like this bla bla? (i can sit here all day and write it)
so sis all you can do is just ingnore her or do something nice for her i know what you mean you may be thinking is this sis mad or what?
when me mum is saying bad stuff about me and i go do her good things!
but sis believe me if you sit with her make her tea when shes making it you can say to her sit down i will make it for you mum or go take breakfast to her room something like that and believe me your life will change.
if your mum refuses to be nice to you then talk to your dad and tell him whats going on.
i hope that helps and sis if you have any questions regarding to what i have said please feel free to ask
i hope everything goes well for you in the future and i will pray for you and sis you pray for your family too may god lead them to the right path (amin)
It's possible that she has problems that have almost nothing to do with you, but that you are simply the easiest target for her frustrations. If she brings up a legitimate complaint (e.g. "You came home past curfew") address it respectfully, but if she is merely mouthing off at you, try not to reply, as anything you say could escalate matters. See if other relatives are noticing the same- perhaps your father or other relatives could have a word with her.
Islam sis you make it sound so easy i am a human being a sensitive one too, i cant be nice like you, when someone is shouting the worst thing a girl would want to hear i cant be nice, i dont usually say anything but she becomes like this for the smallest thing. My dad and i havent got the best relationship, my sister is a younger version of my mum. I want to move country anyways but i will have to wait some time. I am just going to have to suffer for now
Islam sis you make it sound so easy i am a human being a sensitive one too, i cant be nice like you, when someone is shouting the worst thing a girl would want to hear i cant be nice, i dont usually say anything but she becomes like this for the smallest thing. My dad and i havent got the best relationship, my sister is a younger version of my mum. I want to move country anyways but i will have to wait some time. I am just going to have to suffer for now
Salam,
aw sis i am so soory i didn't mean it in the bad i feel really bad now :'(
look sis i will pray for you all you can do is just explain to your mum by saying why you doing this to mi don't you love mi?
and then see what she says, and sis maybe theres something in her mind thats going on and she doesn't want to tell you so shes taking the anger on you ffended:
sis i really feel down for you :'( :'(
i really want to help but i don't know where to start and then end fromffended:
sis i know what you mean by if someones nasty to you, you can't take it easy but its best to hold your temper cause its like saying '' if an animal barks then don't feed it''
i really hope ya get fru ur test, bcos remem dis life is a test 4 d next life, remem woteva happens respect ur mum, bcos RasoolAllah (saw) has alwyz told us 2 do so, u mite hav heard of Hadhrat Asma (ra), wen her mum who was a kafir was gona cum 2 visit her, she asked her sister hadhrat Aisha (ra) 2 ask d Prophet (pbuh), wot she sud do as her mum woz a kafir. n our sweet Prophet (saw) replied dat she has 2 b nice and carin 2wards her mum no matter wot,
so be nice to her, and be patient with her inshallah il pray that all ur trobals will b kool, n smile cos remem u alwyz got ALLAH (swt)
i really hope ya get fru ur test, bcos remem dis life is a test 4 d next life, remem woteva happens respect ur mum, bcos RasoolAllah (saw) has alwyz told us 2 do so, u mite hav heard of Hadhrat Asma (ra), wen her mum who was a kafir was gona cum 2 visit her, she asked her sister hadhrat Aisha (ra) 2 ask d Prophet (pbuh), wot she sud do as her mum woz a kafir. n our sweet Prophet (saw) replied dat she has 2 b nice and carin 2wards her mum no matter wot,
so be nice to her, and be patient with her inshallah il pray that all ur trobals will b kool, n smile cos remem u alwyz got ALLAH (swt)
Hai Hai...meri piyaari behan [my dear sister] listen no matter what you got Allah...turn back to thy Lord...if you reach for Him He will come to you...maintain high Iman...depend on your faith..without it Sister you havent got anything...:'( My heart goes out for you ukhty..Allah make it easy for you and grant you Jannah...Sister always refer back to your beuatiful religion...yes it aint easy especially with your mum like that by have saabr its hard i know but trust it works...have dhikr and make duaa for your mother inshAllah...Engage in supplication and ask Allah to have mercy on your mother and put her on Siratum Mustakeem
Sister everytime someone is in need of help i always post this poem...MashAllah beuatiful and inspiration to all WalaykumAsalaam x Love you for the sake of Allah
Ahad!! Ahad!!
Why shed these tears of sorrow?
Why shed these tears of grief?
Ya nafsy how soon you forget,
After trials come sweet relief
Why turn you from Ar-Rahman?
Why yearn for a listening friend?
Ya nafsy, do you not remember,
On ALLAH (SWT), you must depend?
Have you not read those stories,
Of the trials in days gone by,
Of the Sahabi beloved by ALLAH (SWT),
Who for ALLAH (SWT)'s cause did strive?
Why loosen your hold upon him?
Why fling away, His outstretched Hand?
Ya nafsy, do you not remember,
Bilal's Sabr on the blazing sand? "
Ahad! Ahad!" He cried,
While his flesh did drip and burn.
"Ahad! Ahad!" He cried,
To ALLAH (SWT) alone he turned.
Have you forgotten the firmness of Hamza,
As the gleaming swords did fall?
With Sabr he turned to ALLAH (SWT),
As the Quraish did slice and maul.
Why drown in salty tear drops?
How can you dare compare your pain?
To that of Yasir and Summayah,
As they lay tortured on the scorching plain?
Have you forgotten the charring of Khabbab,
As on burning coals he lay?
Ya nafsy how meagre your suffering,
Wherefore do you lose your way?
Why befriend you not Al-Wali?
Why not in Salat to Him complain?
Like Job who only to Allah,
Turned in all his grief and pain?
Forget you that trials in this life,
Cleanse your heart and make it clean?
Ya nafsy, why all this sadness?
Do you not wish your heart to gleam?
Be patient in all your hardships,
ALLAH (SWT) hears your cries of woe.
So trust Him and His Hikma,
For He knows best and not you.
So tighten your hold upon him,
Lest He withdraw His outstretched Hand!
And remember the example of Bilal,
As he lay anchored on the blazing sand.
"Ahad! Ahad!" he cried,
While his flesh did drip and burn.
"Ahad! Ahad!" he cried,
To ALLAH (SWT) alone he turned.
"Allah places not a burden on any soul but to the extent of his strength." [Surah 2:286].
Ya Muslimeen
Ya Mu’meneen
Open up your eyes
Aim for the ultimate prize
Which is paradise
Allah’s laws
By definition has no flaw
So why do we pause?
Tell me what’s the cause
Hold your applause
Takbir!!!!!
Allahu Akbar
Patience sis... the best advice would be not to get angry with her... even if she says all these insulting things... we must be submissive and humble to our parents, Allah is aware of your situation. Prophet Mohammad said.. don't even say "uff" to your parents.
There used to be a lady that threw garbage at prophet Mohammad sws and he never got angry at her... and when she didnt throw anything one day.. he asked if she was feeling ok. She made shahada because of how nice he treated her...
So, my advice to you is to observe patience.. Inshallah it'll get better. Make duah to Allah.
patience ya ukhti, patience..Subhaana Allah!! take it easy...Allah will help u through this Inshaa'Allah..make dua', and work on it too, try to know what's her problem, try gettin close 2 her..after all, shes ur mother...
Sabrun Jameel..Patience is Beautiful...so be PATIENT!! Inna Allaha ma3 alsabiroon!! DUH..loolzz :-D
your mother really does love you.........maybe she has a problem that is making it hard for her to show you her love............just be patient.........and Allah will be with you inshallah.
do not think of the worst... just remember when you try hard to keep relationship with your mother Allah will always love you. I know is hard to be nice when people are not nice to you... but Allah knows everything. Allah knows you're trying hard to keep a good relationship with your mother and you always pray for your mother happiness and good health. Just remember there will be a time you and your mother will be a good friend... maybe not today... maybe when your 55 and your mother is 80... who knows... but you've to try hard to get there.
If you be nice to your mother... there are so many rewards Allah will give you. Your earnings will improve, you will be happier, problems are easily solved. i did not paste any hadith here... as i want this to make this simple.
Appreciate your mother because out there... some children are being outcast by their parents eventhough what they really want is to be with their parents.
sister,
I am going through the same sorta thing with my mother. The worst thing you could do is to back chat. That will make the situation a lot worse, trust me. We owe a lot to our mothers so the most you can do is take it. When she is mouthing off, just ignore her. Have patience, and be nice to her. Buy her flowers or a gift whenever you can. Clean the house for her, cook for her. Maybe your mother is going through some stuff in her life, try and be her friend aswell as her daughter. Try to listen to her problems. If you are nice to her maybe she will realize how she is acting. Insha Allah things will work out for you sister, just have sabr and make a lot of dua.
Brothers and sisters i am in so much pain while writing this i dont know what to do, i kno jannah is under the feet of your mother, lets jus say entering jannah will be hard for me. My mother shouts screams, and worsly mentally abuses me, i am failure, stupid, ugly the list doesnt end.
One day she is fine the next she will be calling me every name under the sun.
I know i am a failure and i hate life, many people will tell me to pray to Allah swt, as if, i cant even pray am destined to hell, this life is a hell for me too if killing yourself wasnt haram i be dead a long time ago.
I should have gone uni next year i dont even know how to tell her that i might go late, my family is not religious at all, she hardly prayes so it might satan taking the better side of her.
Please i dont know what to do i just know that what she is doing must be haram if it made me like this
salam alaikum sister i was very sad to hear
please dont lose hope, just try ignore her when she is angry or try to talk with her nicely and ask her what is source of problems for her.
inshalah she will understand (ameen). but dont lsoeh ope because if you be patient inshalah allah will giv you very high place in jennah
good luck insha allah :rose:
salam alaikum
It is possible that your mum has hormone troubles and suffers with pms, and there will be times of the month when you might just want to live in a nuclear bunker for protection. If your sister also suffers in the same kind of way you have to feel truly sorry for both of them, they will indeed be tormented.
My wife has suffered with pms for about thirty years, she suffers constantly with the demons, we have been married for twenty one years and it is just starting to ease a little for her and me.
She can go through life for a couple of weeks without any real problems, then all of a sudden she will explode at something that she would have been fine with the day before. It catches me by surprise every time and I should be used to it by now. Pms can affect people in different ways
I liked this from syilla, Just remember there will be a time you and your mother will be a good friend... maybe not today... maybe when your 55 and your mother is 80... who knows... but you've to try hard to get there.
i really hope ya get fru ur test, bcos remem dis life is a test 4 d next life, remem woteva happens respect ur mum, bcos RasoolAllah (saw) has alwyz told us 2 do so, u mite hav heard of Hadhrat Asma (ra), wen her mum who was a kafir was gona cum 2 visit her, she asked her sister hadhrat Aisha (ra) 2 ask d Prophet (pbuh), wot she sud do as her mum woz a kafir. n our sweet Prophet (saw) replied dat she has 2 b nice and carin 2wards her mum no matter wot,
so be nice to her, and be patient with her inshallah il pray that all ur trobals will b kool, n smile cos remem u alwyz got ALLAH (swt)
I only understood one word in all of that,..Allah.
Seriously,no offence akhi,but in the future,could you (and all other posters) spell properly?
The odd error is ok,..but an entire post..
Dont Mistake My Harshness For Strength And Neither Mistake My Kindness For Weakness.
i really hope ya get fru ur test, bcos remem dis life is a test 4 d next life, remem woteva happens respect ur mum, bcos RasoolAllah (saw) has alwyz told us 2 do so, u mite hav heard of Hadhrat Asma (ra), wen her mum who was a kafir was gona cum 2 visit her, she asked her sister hadhrat Aisha (ra) 2 ask d Prophet (pbuh), wot she sud do as her mum woz a kafir. n our sweet Prophet (saw) replied dat she has 2 b nice and carin 2wards her mum no matter wot,
so be nice to her, and be patient with her inshallah il pray that all ur trobals will b kool, n smile cos remem u alwyz got ALLAH (swt)
He says:
I really hope you get through your test, because remember this test is for the next life. Remember whatever happens, respect your mom, because Rasul Allah (saw) has always told us to do so, you may have heard of Hadhrat Asma (ra) when her mom was kafir and she was going to come to visit her, she asked her sister, Hadhrat Aisha (ra), as to what she should do because her mom was kafir, and the sweet Prophet (saw) told her that she has to be nice and caring toward her mom, no matter what. So be nice to her and be patient with her inshallah and I'll pray that all your troubles will be cool, and smile because remember you always have Allah (swt).
^^couldn't have said it better myself mashallah
just wanted to add a few more things from a reliable source inshallah:
And We have enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: in travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and in years twain was his weaning: (hear the command), "Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents: to Me is (thy final) Goal.- 31:14
We have enjoined on man kindness to his parents: In pain did his mother bear him, and in pain did she give him birth. The carrying of the (child) to his weaning is (a period of) thirty months. At length, when he reaches the age of full strength and attains forty years, he says, "O my Lord! Grant me that I may be grateful for Thy favour which Thou has bestowed upon me, and upon both my parents, and that I may work righteousness such as Thou mayest approve; and be gracious to me in my issue. Truly have I turned to Thee and truly do I bow (to Thee) in Islam." -46:15
Now tell me sis, would you carry your mother for 9 months on your back, would you hold her hand everywhere you went for 7 years, would you teach her things that were extremely new to her and would take time to learn?? Your mother has done so much for you subhanallah, no matter how she is, treat her like an angel. Jannah lies at her feet, you already know that, what easier ticket is it to jannah than to have respect for someone you see everyday and you knew ever since you were in their womb subhanallah?
something else that should be very significant as well:
Not so do those who show patience and constancy, and work righteousness; for them is forgiveness (of sins) and a great reward. -11:11
be veeeeeeeery patient inshallah!!
One thing that helps is to either ignore what she is saying, or actually feel what she is saying. Sometimes there is something wrong with our mothers that we can never be able to feel or see until later in life subhanallah, be patient, i stress that and i mean it. Allah made you, don't let shaytan break you inshallah.
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