I've had very low Iman ever since I came back from my holiday, and it's worrying me. The problem isn't doubt, but just not getting that feeling you get from high iman. I think it's something to do with missing several prayers when on holiday. I did not revert because of spiritual feelings towards Islam, I reverted because I found the religion convincing, which means that I have to build up these feelings from scratch. Every time I've missed a prayer it just knocks everything I built up back down again, and it hasn't built back up properly ever since the last time I missed a prayer. I've tried reading 'iman boosters' but it didn't work, I felt just as stone cold as before.
I feel like Allah (swt) has lost his patience with me and has stopped helping me. I want to love Allah (swt) and feel close to him when I pray, but I haven't been able to for more than a few minutes!
Bro, your just going through a different level of anxiety.
You don't have to worry... you still have lots of faith... and Inshallah you will continue to have faith.
I think your problem is that you're not around muslims enough. If you want to improve your situation...
By God, you need to find some good muslim friends. This is VERY important! As one of the scholars of Islam said, you are the religion of your friends.
The rest of the feelings your going through is only doing of the devil... its is BECAUSE you were gaining in faith that the devil is trying harder and harder to make you second guess yourself.
Alhumdulillah, Ramadaan is coming soon, and this will give you the chance to once again get close to Allah. Make sure you attend every night and be with the brothers... talk to the them and listen to what they have to say... join religious activities.
Don't take your deen for granted... You're guide by Allah and no one can misguide you... keep asking Allah for help...
May Allah make you stronger, Inshallah.
Ameen.
W'salaamz,
Hamid
I think your problem is that you're not around muslims enough. If you want to improve your situation...
By God, you need to find some good muslim friends. This is VERY important! As one of the scholars of Islam said, you are the religion of your friends.
I'm in two completely unislamic environments constantly, a school where people just talk to me to make fun of me and won't let me pray, and a home where I'm scared of my parents who just today told me that they were glad that I accidentally overslept fajr. They don't want to take me to the Masjid every evening in rahmadan, they get mad at me when I refuse to do something because it clashes with prayer times, and they often ask me to comprimise my religion. In fact it's their fault I missed those prayers in the first place.
I don't know many Muslims in my school, and since lessons take up most of my time at school, I have little time to socialise with them.
The rest of the feelings your going through is only doing of the devil... its is BECAUSE you were gaining in faith that the devil is trying harder and harder to make you second guess yourself.
This has made me feel quite a bit better, I no longer feel abandoned by Allah (swt). But I still need kushu (sp?) in my prayers, which I have never properly had.
Do you know what your going through? You're actually going through REAL JIHAAD... where the reward is nothing less than Paradise.
I would only encourage you to keep at it.. and keep trying your best to pray. Ask your parents nicely, sit them down... and tell them that this religion is very important to you. It helps you in every day life... and all you seek is acceptance of your parents... as religion of Islaam demands the children to be kind to their parents.
Just let them know that... this is you... and that you want your parents to be happy for my choices in life. Tell them that your still their son and you still love them... nothing has changed... except that you have found your creater. It's just a different ideology from atheist... nothing so dramtic.
And secondly, if your parents don't want to take you to the masjid every night... no problem. Call the Imaam of the masjid and ask him to assing you a brother or few brothers who could pick you up and drop you home every night... and they will do that gladly!
All you need to do is... make your parents understand and respect your decisions.
Do you know what your going through? You're actually going through REAL JIHAAD... where the reward is nothing less than Paradise.
I would only encourage you to keep at it.. and keep trying your best to pray. Ask your parents nicely, sit them down... and tell them that this religion is very important to you. It helps you in every day life... and all you seek is acceptance of your parents... as religion of Islaam demands the children to be kind to their parents.
Just let them know that... this is you... and that you want your parents to be happy for my choices in life. Tell them that your still their son and you still love them... nothing has changed... except that you have found your creater. It's just a different ideology from atheist... nothing so dramtic.
And secondly, if your parents don't want to take you to the masjid every night... no problem. Call the Imaam of the masjid and ask him to assing you a brother or few brothers who could pick you up and drop you home every night... and they will do that gladly!
All you need to do is... make your parents understand and respect your decisions.
Stay strong bro...
W'salaamz,
Hamid
And secondly, if your parents don't want to take you to the masjid every night... no problem. Call the Imaam of the masjid and ask him to assing you a brother or few brothers who could pick you up and drop you home every night... and they will do that gladly!
The Imam speaks only Arabic and Urdu, not English.
I would only encourage you to keep at it.. and keep trying your best to pray. Ask your parents nicely, sit them down... and tell them that this religion is very important to you. It helps you in every day life... and all you seek is acceptance of your parents... as religion of Islaam demands the children to be kind to their parents.
Just let them know that... this is you... and that you want your parents to be happy for my choices in life. Tell them that your still their son and you still love them... nothing has changed... except that you have found your creater. It's just a different ideology from atheist... nothing so dramtic.
Please don't say I'm just being defeatist, but I don't think that will work. They know that it is very important to me, but they don't like that because it makes family life difficult. My mum said that she doesn't want me to be a Muslim, and if she has that attitude, my dad is probably more extreme about it. I'm really scared of him, he raises his voice to an annoyed shouting level whenever he feels worried. And he has been to lots of middle eastern countries, so he knows how Muslims act there and often criticises them.
No problem if the imaam only speaks urdu or arabic. The prayer is in arabic anyway... it's not a friday sermon where you have to understand the message. I think thats a big part that you miss out on unfortunately. It's a great way to recharge your spritual side... but anyway, the taraweeh is in arabic, everywhere... but the point is... that you'll be among the brothers, and they speak english... you just have to get to know them... it'll give you a sense of belonging and not being rejected everywhere you go.
I do give you LOTS of respect for becoming a muslim in the situation you are.. its quite amazing actually.
If your parents don't understand... just make duah to Allah that they will in the future. You cannot jeapordize your religion for ANYONE. But, continue to respect your parents and all...
I know it's really easy for us to tell you what we think you should do... than to actually do it... But, bro, life is big test... and heaven isn't free. The harder you try to stay to the truth, the greater your reward will be, Inshallah.
No problem if the imaam only speaks urdu or arabic. The prayer is in arabic anyway... it's not a friday sermon where you have to understand the message. I think thats a big part that you miss out on unfortunately. It's a great way to recharge your spritual side... but anyway, the taraweeh is in arabic, everywhere... but the point is... that you'll be among the brothers, and they speak english... you just have to get to know them... it'll give you a sense of belonging and not being rejected everywhere you go.
I do give you LOTS of respect for becoming a muslim in the situation you are.. its quite amazing actually.
If your parents don't understand... just make duah to Allah that they will in the future. You cannot jeapordize your religion for ANYONE. But, continue to respect your parents and all...
I know it's really easy for us to tell you what we think you should do... than to actually do it... But, bro, life is big test... and heaven isn't free. The harder you try to stay to the truth, the greater your reward will be, Inshallah.
Salaamz,
Hamid
Jummah is a problem actually, since 1) I don't understand the sermon, and 2) thanks to school I can't even go to Jummah.
Your advice has worked really well brother, but I still need some advice on getting kushu (sp?) and better iman.
Unfortunately, not many schools will let you skip to attend Jummah. If you can... somehow convince the principle or someone incharge at the school to let you out early so you can attend, I know this wont be easy though.
As far as khushu or the Imaan is concerned... no one can advise you on how to acheive it. Because it comes from the heart... and everyone is different...
For me... the best level of Imaan I ever reached was during the last ten days of Ramadaan... where I used to go to the masjid.. and stay there the whole night and worship... and before suhur (eating before fasting) we used to stand up in prayer together with the imaam...
We used to pray 2-4 rakaah salaah for 1 hour.. they were quite long but it was AMAZING!
And it was during those days I saw the sings of laylatul Qadr... I even took a picture of it... since we were up every night and saw the sun come up.. we knew the difference when it was laylatul Qadr (night of power). The sun came up... completely, and yet the sky was dark. One of the signs is that the sun will rise without rays.. like it wont hurt the eyes... I took a picture of it... I still have it if you want to see it.
And it was during those days that I saw prophet mohammad sws in my dream.
Another thing I felt at that time was that.. whenever I made prostration.. I felt I was prostrating in an open field of marble and Allah was looking at me. It was great... but as always... you have ups and down in the level of Imaan.
Also, I feel reallllly good once I come out of the masjid after Fajr...
The only thing I can tell you in terms of advice to get better Imaan is to do nafil prayers. Optional prayers... something more than what is required by Allah.
Like you pray 5 times a day... thats the bare minimum... pray extra nafil with your prayers... try to show Allah that you want Him to help you every step of the way.. and that you NEED him every step of the way.
As it is said in a hadith I read a while ago... if you go walking towards Allah, Allah will come running towards you... meaning... if you try and make an effort... say 50% Allah will come to you 100%
I pray that Allah gives you comfort in your worship, Ameen.
Hi Fishman!
I think everyone of us was where you are now. In christian terms we call it "dark night of faith".
It's a time of doubt, lonyliness and disbelieve.
If you read history of saints everyone goes throught it.
Some say it comes after the time when you were close to God (especialy conversion), that it a way His light blinds you and for some time you wont be able to see His light again. But thats how faith works...Once up, then down.
I aslo once heared a great sermon given about it. Prist said it's not hard to be faithful when your faith is high. But when we feel abondoned by God, full of doubt and dispite this we still try to walk path of faith - thats when we are faithful.
Hold on then!!!
n.
ps: sorry for spelling, i'm too tired to check it.
ps: "Faith given back to us after a night of doubt is a stronger thing, and far more valuable to us than faith that has never been tested"
The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned.
oo...fishman i just wish i have a brother then i can send him there to be your friend....
i know you're still young and lonely...
just do the best you can ....and ignore other criticism. What ever you do is only for Allah subhanahuwata'ala...and not for them.
You are what you are...being different is suppose to be good and special. The famous people is always different from others .
Work hard...study hard. If you can't perform ibadah the best as you can...its okay... you have tried your best. And tomorrow i will do better...
Just tell yourself...i want to be a good person and one day i want to invent something...that everyone will remember my invention. and May Allah bless me...and show me the right way...
Fishman...talking to Allah subhanahuwata'ala....in dua...is always the best way.
P/S:- Fishman...just accept your parents the way they are...but you can be better than them. They look as if they are successful...but always get upset and angry...even on a small matter. How happy can they be? Do you want to be like that? of course you don't...so you can be better than them. Remember islam is the only way.
25:36 And the true servants of the Most Merciful are those who walk the earth with humility and when the ignorant address them, they respond with words of peace.
I felt so happy last night, as I got good iman, and kushu. And it wasn't just for a few minutes, it stayed on even into this morning. But school took it all away, by distracting me completely. How am I able to develop proper faith like this! It's very hard to if people throw things at you, insult you whenever you talk, chuck your stuff on the ground and laugh at you simply because you're there.
I need to develop true faith, but I can't like this!
I think I am the only lazi bonez on this forum, I am a revert and have done nothing with regards to my religion, every revert I know have become the best muslimz I know, I dont know whatz wrong with me!!!
This is all about patience. Think about the prophet, and what he went through while he was preaching Islam in Mekah. They threw him out in to the open desert for years because he wouldn't abandon his faith and his revelations.
What you're going through, I think it's safe to say everyone went through that in their life. At one point or another... you end up coming across some bullies in your school.
If you get angry and react to their doings... they'll get you to do exactly what they wanted. It wont be easy... but continue to be nice to them and perhaps that'll be enough for some of them... if not one of them to think about Islamic beliefs. Perhaps if Allah wills, one of them if not more may convert to Islam.
As we live our lives... we have to try our best to deliver the message of Islam to those who are not aware of the real Islam.
Do not worry, Allah knows all that is happening to you and all that will happen to you... you will be granted justice... whether its in this life or the next. My only advice to you would be to be patient... and again... it's very simple to say it than to actually be patient... especially under stress you are going through...
If it's disturbing you too much... you can always get your parents or teachers to get involved.
When I had problems with bullies when I was younger... I had my dad go and talk to the school dean. Everything worked out afterwards... They are just kids that don't know any better.
May Allah make you stronger in Imaan and in character. Ameen.
I felt so happy last night, as I got good iman, and kushu. And it wasn't just for a few minutes, it stayed on even into this morning. But school took it all away, by distracting me completely. How am I able to develop proper faith like this! It's very hard to if people throw things at you, insult you whenever you talk, chuck your stuff on the ground and laugh at you simply because you're there.
I need to develop true faith, but I can't like this!
hi fishman,
it must be very difficult for you, since almost nobody in your life is supportive or understanding about your reversion to islam. i don't know what to tell you, but i will remember you in my prayers because obviously, you are in a lot of pain.
even at best, i think there would be a temporary "let down". first there was the excitement about learning about islam, then the excitement about planning to become a muslim and then the huge excitement about your action reversion. and now that excitement has worn off as you are settling in to your new life.
i'm sorry you are having to go through all this hate and narrow-mindedness.
each man thinks of his own fleas as gazelles
question authority
ooo...fishman...if you have any problem..just pm me
you'll always be in my dua...
25:36 And the true servants of the Most Merciful are those who walk the earth with humility and when the ignorant address them, they respond with words of peace.
I tried explaining to my mum how bad for my iman missing prayers is, but she just told me that it should not be so flimsy, and that I have to except that I am a minor living in a non-Muslim family with a less than supporting school.
Islam is meant for everyone, young or old, my age doesn't matter in this.
I really need help, my iman has dropped really low again, and I can't cope. I don't get much sleep, people at school constantly bully me, my parents said I couldn't go to see my friend who is a scholar, and I'm scared of my dad and have to avoid talking to him. I just want to be safe and practice Islam in peace. But there is no sanctuary for me.
I couldn't begin to imagine what you're going through.
I know telling you to be patient is not enough... you need someone as an anchor... to keep you stable emotionally and spiritually.
I strongly recommend you PLEASE talk to the people at your local mosque... you seriously need to explain to them your situation.
I feel you only need a big brother or a role model... someone you can share your feelings with... and everything will be ok. You wont feel like your all alone in this long and endless battle.
Even if you are not able to find anyone... don't ever forget for a second, that we're not here for you. Even though we may not be there in person... we're with you in spirit.
Make duah to Allah bro... and a duah with tears is more dear to Allah.
And I also ask anyone who reads this to make duah for you as well, Inshallah.
May Allah grant you the best of Imaan and a blessed ramadaan. Ameen.
I've had very low Iman ever since I came back from my holiday, and it's worrying me. The problem isn't doubt, but just not getting that feeling you get from high iman. I think it's something to do with missing several prayers when on holiday. I did not revert because of spiritual feelings towards Islam, I reverted because I found the religion convincing, which means that I have to build up these feelings from scratch. Every time I've missed a prayer it just knocks everything I built up back down again, and it hasn't built back up properly ever since the last time I missed a prayer. I've tried reading 'iman boosters' but it didn't work, I felt just as stone cold as before.
I feel like Allah (swt) has lost his patience with me and has stopped helping me. I want to love Allah (swt) and feel close to him when I pray, but I haven't been able to for more than a few minutes!
I haven't taken time to read all the other replies in this thread, so this is a straight response to your first post, Fishman.
I would tell you that you experience is quite common.
When we choose a new way of life (doesn't even have to be a religion, this applies to most life changes), we have an initial feeling of elation. We have finally found the truth and true happiness and fulfillment!
But as time passes, the 'honeymoon' period comes to an end, the new rituals become routine and harder to feel excited about.
A tiny voice might creep into your mind, which says something like 'You don't have to make it so hard for yourself', 'You could go back to how you were', 'You were fine before you strated this, anyway' ...
Jesus described this situation very clearly in the Parabel of the Sower. You may wish to read it:
"A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root. Other seed fell among thorns, which grew up and choked the plants. Still other seed fell on good soil, where it produced a crop—a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown. 9He who has ears, let him hear." (Matthew 13:3-9)
[...]
"Listen then to what the parable of the sower means: When anyone hears the message about the kingdom and does not understand it, the evil one comes and snatches away what was sown in his heart. This is the seed sown along the path. The one who received the seed that fell on rocky places is the man who hears the word and at once receives it with joy. But since he has no root, he lasts only a short time. When trouble or persecution comes because of the word, he quickly falls away. The one who received the seed that fell among the thorns is the man who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke it, making it unfruitful. But the one who received the seed that fell on good soil is the man who hears the word and understands it. He produces a crop, yielding a hundred, sixty or thirty times what was sown." (Matthew 13:18-23)
I won't say any more, because I am sure that your Muslims brothers and sisters can give you Islamic advice on this.
Peace, little brother
Last edited by glo; 09-16-2006 at 11:10 AM.
Peace glo
Here I stand.
I can do no other.
May God help me.
Amen.
Come, let us worship and bow down •
and kneel before the Lord our Maker
[Psalm 95]
i'm going through the same thing and i'm scared its going to affect me in ramadan. I guess the best thing would be to surround yourself with God-fearing muslims and try to put yourself in an islamic atmosphere - i know, easier said than done.
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