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  1. #1
    Ummu Amatullah's Avatar
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    Correct Interaction?, PLEASE HELP!

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    Asallama Alaikum well this isn't a question of mine it was from another sister on another forum,but the question wasn't answered and I was wondering aswell.
    I was wanting to know what is the correct way to speak with someone whom you are quite certain you want to marry them, but due to restrictions beyond your control you are unable to marry them then and there.

    Are we still able to talk via things like internet with them, if we want to have them as a future spouse?

    Is it permissible to speak with your future spouse on the internet alone?

    May Allah (swt) reward any of you who respond to my question, ameen.well the sisters,but hey.Jazak'Allah

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    Re: Correct Interaction?, PLEASE HELP!

    Wailaykum Asalam Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu

    Even though your certain you want to marry him, he should not sweet talk you cause that is a girls weakest point and that may lead to emotional feelings and the shaytaan has his ways around this and can lead you to haram. First of all, are you engaged? If your engaged then it is alright to talk to him on the internet because the internet is a distant source its not possible to do anything haram such as zina, if your engage then he can hear your voice, he can see you because he already has but he cannot sweet talk because thats the door of emotions and the weakest part of a girl is her emotions a girl speaks with her heart and the mind overcomes it. Also even if your distant it is better to have someone with you in the room because shaytaan can still tempt us.

    Note: Dont take anything I said as a fatwa lol
    Correct Interaction?, PLEASE HELP!

    “If you punish, then punish with the like of that wherewith you were afflicted. But if you endure patiently, indeed it is better for the patient. Endure you patiently. Your patience is not except through the help of Allah." (al-Nahl 16:126-127)

  4. #3
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    Re: Correct Interaction?, PLEASE HELP!




    "he should not sweet talk you cause that is a girls weakest point"

    Please give women a little more credit. I'm sure many of us disagree with that point. It's actually quite funny.

    For both men and women, talking with the opposite sex can enforce desires that are hard to control because of Shaytans evil influences. Therefore, I would advise you to desist from any unsupervised conversations with a suitor even if it's on the internet. What's interest is, in my opinion that most people are really comfortable with conversing with an individual over the net than speaking to them over phone. And when one is comfortable, anything can slip up, halaal or haraam. I find that the internet nowadays has become a gateway for one to follow the sinister path.

    If you want to meet with a suitor, then you should have your Mahraam accompany you. Most importantly, if your Mahraam is unaware of the situation, then this relationship is based on haraam. Obviously then, you must be patient, make a lot of dua'as, pray for guidance and wait until your Mahraam is in agreement with the partnership. From there, you can have your Mahraam sit with you during internet conversations, accompany you on meetings and (strange but best) listen on the other line when conversing over the phone.

    Regretfully I cannot provide you with any hadiths or quranic verses, so if anyone would, please do so, it would make explaining point of views islamically a lot more satisfying.

    Well thats my two cents....Truly Allah knows Best.

    Last edited by Noor; 09-22-2005 at 03:30 AM.
    Correct Interaction?, PLEASE HELP!

    "Faisbir sabran jameelan".Therefore endure with a goodly patience (70:05)

  5. #4
    akulion's Avatar
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    Re: Correct Interaction?, PLEASE HELP!

    Salam Alaikum
    Best to my knowledge the requirement is for a mahram 'chaperon' to be present to monitor the conversations between 2 people considering marraige since there is a very high likilhood of 'romance' and 'flirtatious' behavior from both sides.

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    Re: Correct Interaction?, PLEASE HELP!

    The fiqh of this, is
    A man my not talk to a woman, if there is no point AKA friendship, dating etc, but if there is the message of islam (dawah) being passed over then it is permissible but only to the extent of dawah THATS IT, and women may talk to men but with a HARSH voice. theres ALOT more on this issue. for ex, just talking doesnt count, on the day of judgement your accountable for EVERYTHINg forums, chats, IM, email, phone, letter etc any form of communication non-dawah-marraige purpose is pretty much forbidden.

  8. #6
    Ummu Amatullah's Avatar
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    Re: Correct Interaction?, PLEASE HELP!

    Quote Originally Posted by libyanhero
    Wailaykum Asalam Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu

    Even though your certain you want to marry him, he should not sweet talk you cause that is a girls weakest point and that may lead to emotional feelings and the shaytaan has his ways around this and can lead you to haram. First of all, are you engaged? If your engaged then it is alright to talk to him on the internet because the internet is a distant source its not possible to do anything haram such as zina, if your engage then he can hear your voice, he can see you because he already has but he cannot sweet talk because thats the door of emotions and the weakest part of a girl is her emotions a girl speaks with her heart and the mind overcomes it. Also even if your distant it is better to have someone with you in the room because shaytaan can still tempt us.

    Note: Dont take anything I said as a fatwa lol
    Asallama Alaikum Jazak'Allah for the reply's.Brother Libyanhero which part of this was a question asked by another sister on another forum don't you understand?Yes,true sweet talk and flirting could get a girl kind of well,"Weak,"but men are even more weak. Jazak'Allah for the reply's though

  9. #7
    libyanhero's Avatar
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    Re: Correct Interaction?, PLEASE HELP!

    lol men are not weak okay, their just ignogrant the shaytan wins them over if there Iman is weak in the first place

    To have full control over ones desires and body you have to be close to Allah and follow his commandments and stay out of harms way, protect yourself but these days there is too much temptation around us that noone of us can not make mistakes, we actually make plenty of mistakess and whether we are just ignogrant or mistaken thats a different issue but you sweet talk cause we like it and we are emotionally drained these days especially girls by the media and the low skirts and to show more of a girl is flattering to her, the self esteem and confidence in a girl is really low these days and that is a destruction because who knows a girl who follows her heart and forget her mind can end up being used, abused, or a prostitute sells herself for cheap. Human beings are also created weak thats why we need Islam at all times because Islam is strength that if taken care of and done correctly then not even a girl can break it. Check out prophet Yusuf(as) he was seduced by a beautiful woman yet he said I fear Allah, subhannallah How many of us can do that these days? but a religious man he follows his religion and protects himself as Allah told him would not be affected by anything even if your the hottest women on the planet, what are you? nothing. Allah is everything wether a women accepts that or no
    Last edited by libyanhero; 09-22-2005 at 12:43 PM.
    Correct Interaction?, PLEASE HELP!

    “If you punish, then punish with the like of that wherewith you were afflicted. But if you endure patiently, indeed it is better for the patient. Endure you patiently. Your patience is not except through the help of Allah." (al-Nahl 16:126-127)

  10. #8
    Ameeratul Layl's Avatar
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    Re: Correct Interaction?, PLEASE HELP!

    Quote Originally Posted by Noor



    "he should not sweet talk you cause that is a girls weakest point"

    Please give women a little more credit. I'm sure many of us disagree with that point. It's actually quite funny.

    For both men and women, talking with the opposite sex can enforce desires that are hard to control because of Shaytans evil influences. Therefore, I would advise you to desist from any unsupervised conversations with a suitor even if it's on the internet. What's interest is, in my opinion that most people are really comfortable with conversing with an individual over the net than speaking to them over phone. And when one is comfortable, anything can slip up, halaal or haraam. I find that the internet nowadays has become a gateway for one to follow the sinister path.

    If you want to meet with a suitor, then you should have your Mahraam accompany you. Most importantly, if your Mahraam is unaware of the situation, then this relationship is based on haraam. Obviously then, you must be patient, make a lot of dua'as, pray for guidance and wait until your Mahraam is in agreement with the partnership. From there, you can have your Mahraam sit with you during internet conversations, accompany you on meetings and (strange but best) listen on the other line when conversing over the phone.

    Regretfully I cannot provide you with any hadiths or quranic verses, so if anyone would, please do so, it would make explaining point of views islamically a lot more satisfying.

    Well thats my two cents....Truly Allah knows Best.




    Totally agree with you sis.

    m3 salaam
    Raiyhana

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    libyanhero's Avatar
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    Re: Correct Interaction?, PLEASE HELP!

    Quote Originally Posted by Noor



    "he should not sweet talk you cause that is a girls weakest point"

    Please give women a little more credit. I'm sure many of us disagree with that point. It's actually quite funny.

    For both men and women, talking with the opposite sex can enforce desires that are hard to control because of Shaytans evil influences.
    Oh yah you haven't heard the sweetest man in the world and probably the Dajjal is gonna be one and thats why women are attracted, who knows maybe something in the way he conducts himself and says.

    So women believe in Allah cause your nothing and same thing go for men we are nothing without Allah.
    Last edited by libyanhero; 09-22-2005 at 12:52 PM.
    Correct Interaction?, PLEASE HELP!

    “If you punish, then punish with the like of that wherewith you were afflicted. But if you endure patiently, indeed it is better for the patient. Endure you patiently. Your patience is not except through the help of Allah." (al-Nahl 16:126-127)

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    Ameeratul Layl's Avatar
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    Re: Correct Interaction?, PLEASE HELP!



    I pray Allah keeps us ALL on the Right Path.
    Ameen, ameen,ameen.

    m3 salaam
    Raiyhana :wilted_ro

  14. #11
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    Re: Correct Interaction?, PLEASE HELP!

    Quote Originally Posted by libyanhero
    Oh yah you haven't heard the sweetest man in the world and probably the Dajjal is gonna be one and thats why women are attracted, who knows maybe something in the way he conducts himself and says.

    So women believe in Allah cause your nothing and same thing go for men we are nothing without Allah.
    I know thats kinda harsh but the truth isnt smooth, truth hurts as they say we just need to accept that and we will always be happy with Allah.
    Correct Interaction?, PLEASE HELP!

    “If you punish, then punish with the like of that wherewith you were afflicted. But if you endure patiently, indeed it is better for the patient. Endure you patiently. Your patience is not except through the help of Allah." (al-Nahl 16:126-127)

  15. #12
    libyanhero's Avatar
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    Re: Correct Interaction?, PLEASE HELP!

    Quote Originally Posted by libyanhero
    Oh yah you haven't heard the sweetest man in the world and probably the Dajjal is gonna be one and thats why women are attracted, who knows maybe something in the way he conducts himself and says.

    So women believe in Allah cause your nothing and same thing go for men we are nothing without Allah.
    I know that was harsh but the truth isnt smooth, truth hurts as they say.
    Correct Interaction?, PLEASE HELP!

    “If you punish, then punish with the like of that wherewith you were afflicted. But if you endure patiently, indeed it is better for the patient. Endure you patiently. Your patience is not except through the help of Allah." (al-Nahl 16:126-127)

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    Noor's Avatar
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    Re: Correct Interaction?, PLEASE HELP!




    libyanhero, I know you mean best, but maybe you need to carefully organize your thoughts and words, they can be offensive sometimes.

    Men and Women are equal, though their roles are very different. Women are not objects that can be attracted to the first and only thing that comes close to them. Alhamdulilah, Allah has given us a sufficient brain that is capable of acknowledging what is haraam and so forth. We do not go with any cool wind that passes us by. Give your mother, sister, aunt, grandmother, etc a little more credit.


    Correct Interaction?, PLEASE HELP!

    "Faisbir sabran jameelan".Therefore endure with a goodly patience (70:05)

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    libyanhero's Avatar
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    Re: Correct Interaction?, PLEASE HELP!

    Yes but to whom are they offensive but only to those who don't have true faith in Allah, I don't see nothing wrong with what I said
    Correct Interaction?, PLEASE HELP!

    “If you punish, then punish with the like of that wherewith you were afflicted. But if you endure patiently, indeed it is better for the patient. Endure you patiently. Your patience is not except through the help of Allah." (al-Nahl 16:126-127)


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