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  1. #1
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    Exclamation I have a serious problem.

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    In the Name of God, The Benevolent, The Merciful.

    (Read the bold blue part, if you do not wish to read to much.)

    I have a serious problem. One that needs a very serious answer, because I feel that it's completely ruining my life. I am 16 years old and most of everyone who knows me, sees me as a respectful, responsible, and serious Muslim. And Alhamdulilah, I've been able to keep that up ,but with this problem that I have I'm afraid of straying away from that, and ending up in a situation where everyone will know my secret.

    I don't want to believe it, so I won't say that I am homosexual but I am attracted to men. This is a huge problem for me because if I become attracted to a man I know I will never be able to do anything intimate with that person. It's not only that but, I'm not sure if most of you know that Allah gets seriously angry with homosexuals. And I DON'T want to be a part of that any longer. I want to extinguish the habit of sneaking on the internet and looking at stuff that is haram especially if it's meant for homosexuals. I want to know of any Du'a or strategy that'll help me (besides talking to someone, this is as far as I'm getting) stay away from that. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE help me, for I have asked for help from Allah, and I'm not exactly saying that he has abandoned me, but I would really like it if someone could help me with a new strategy to stay away from it. Remember I'm 16. And sexual urges are really strong for a person my age, and I want to defeat it before it defeats me.

    I ask Allah to help you help me, and may Allah bless those for trying. Ameen.
    [PIE]Shukran Jazakallah[/PIE]
    | Likes hardtimes liked this post

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  3. #2
    - Qatada -'s Avatar
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    Re: I have a serious problem.




    Here's some beneficial links brother;


    http://www.islamonline.net/english/C...rticle02.shtml

    http://gaymuslims.wordpress.com/



    Insha Allah they will be of some help. May Allah support you, ameen.

  4. #3
    Uthman's Avatar
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    Re: I have a serious problem.



    I believe this is a common feeling among adolescents. Probably a lot more common than you think it is. Just because you are having homosexual feelings at this stage in your development, doesn't mean you are homosexual.

    If you are not, then these feelings will go away in time.

    However, remember that Islam is not against having these feelings. It is homosexual acts that are forbidden. I appreciate that it is difficult to resist sexual urges.

    You know, the Holy Qur'an says:

    On no soul doth Allah Place a burden greater than it
    can bear (2:286)

    The better a Muslim you are, the harder Satan will fight for you. Perhaps you have been given a harder test by Allah.

    I will keep you in my supplications.

    Last edited by Uthman; 12-28-2007 at 06:50 PM.
    I have a serious problem.


    "I spent thirty years learning manners, and I spent twenty years learning knowledge."

    ~ 'Abdullāh bin al-Mubārak (rahimahullah)

  5. #4
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    Exclamation Re: I have a serious problem.

    Shukran Jazakallah Khairan!

    Sorry about the above, but because of you both I have gained a new hope of becoming more heterosexual than ever. I'm glad to hear that if don't actually act homosexual than I won't be homosexual, therefore I will not be punished as one. I hope that Inshallah Allah will help me in my struggle to become Heterosexual. And also, is there a way I can suscribe to this topic, I really appreciated the links that have been given to me, and would like to keep it at hand when I need.

    And again Shukran, May Allah reward you both. Ameen.


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    جوري's Avatar
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    Re: I have a serious problem.

    akhi
    I will not comment on what you are feeling because I believe the previous two posters have done a marvelous job masha'Allah...

    However about questionable material on the web can only be remedied one way. You make a decision --you clear your cache, and never go back!..
    realize that you are in control not your desires... it is very much like fasting..
    Fasting takes much the same perseverance and determination, might be difficult first two days, but then you are fasting.. like swimming, you feel the water pressure the first two days and sore muscles but you devlop stamina and you are swimming. Any project you will set out to do will take that one first step, "I am set out to do this' and then, you are doing it..

    I have a serious problem.

    Text without context is pretext
    If your opponent is of choleric temperament, seek to irritate him


  8. #6
    Uthman's Avatar
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    Re: I have a serious problem.



    Quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender View Post
    And also, is there a way I can suscribe to this topic, I really appreciated the links that have been given to me, and would like to keep it at hand when I need.
    Yes, if you click on 'Thread tools' above the first post, then click on 'Subscribe to this thread'.

    Also, If you are using internet explorer, you can add the page to your favourites. If you are using Mozilla Firefox (better!), then you can add this page to your bookmarks.



    I have a serious problem.


    "I spent thirty years learning manners, and I spent twenty years learning knowledge."

    ~ 'Abdullāh bin al-Mubārak (rahimahullah)

  9. #7
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    Re: I have a serious problem.

    Quote Originally Posted by PurestAmbrosia View Post
    akhi
    I will not comment on what you are feeling because I believe the previous two posters have done a marvelous job masha'Allah...

    However about questionable material on the web can only be remedied one way. You make a decision --you clear your cache, and never go back!..
    realize that you are in control not your desires... it is very much like fasting..
    Fasting takes much the same perseverance and determination, might be difficult first two days, but then you are fasting.. like swimming, you feel the water pressure the first two days and sore muscles but you devlop stamina and you are swimming. Any project you will set out to do will take that one first step, "I am set out to do this' and then, you are doing it..

    Ok Shukran to all of you.

  10. #8
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    Re: I have a serious problem.

    salaam bro

    its looong but it will help u inshaAllah


    Question:
    I am muslim 16 year old boy.i pray and fast regularly,i am straight but the problem is that i am homosexual, i first was thinking of my father , i think i became homosexual genetically, i see usually bad pictures, but i want to give up, i never done any sex in my life, i really am afraid of god, and i always pray for him to help me.
    please sir, i beg you, tell me how practically can i get rid of this nasty desire.

    Answer:
    Praise be to Allaah.

    we ask Allaah to heal you quickly from this serious disease, and to cleanse your heart of all evil, for He is Able to do that. For the harm caused by falling into this great sin is not limited to punishment in the Hereafter, rather it goes beyond that and a part of the punishment may happen in this world; even if it is nothing more than the regret and feelings of guilt that result from it, that is enough, so how about if that is accompanied by incurable fatal diseases which the doctors are agreed are widespread among homosexuals and are caused by these perverted practices?

    The way to deal with your problem is as follows:

    Firstly:

    You have to repent sincerely from your heart, turn to Allaah, regret what you have done, and pray a great deal to Allaah, asking Him to forgive you and help you to get rid of this problem. For Allaah is most Generous and is Close and always Responsive. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “Say: ‘O ‘Ibaadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allaah, verily, Allaah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful’”

    [al-Zumar 39:53]

    So stand before Allaah weeping, beseeching, expressing your need for Him and seeking His forgiveness, and receive the glad tidings from Allaah of a way out and forgiveness.

    Secondly:

    Strive to plant the seeds of faith in your heart, for when they grow they will bear fruits of happiness in this world and in the Hereafter.

    Faith in Allaah is what – after the help of Allaah – protects a person from falling into haraam things. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No adulterer is a believer at the moment when he is committing adultery.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 2475; Muslim, 57). So when faith is well established in your heart and fills your heart and emotions, you will not violate His sacred limits, in sha Allaah. If the believer stumbles on one occasion he will quickly wake up. Allaah describes His slaves as follows (interpretation of the meaning):

    “Verily, those who are Al-Muttaqoon (the pious), when an evil thought comes to them from Shaytaan (Satan), they remember (Allaah), and (indeed) they then see (aright)”

    [al-A’raaf 7:201]

    Thirdly:

    Try to follow the advice which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) gave to young people, which is to get married if you are able to. Do not pay any attention to the fact that you are young, for being young is not a reason not to get married, far from it, so long as you have the need to get married. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “O young men, whoever among you can afford to get married, let him do so, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and protecting chastity. Whoever cannot afford that should fast, for it will be a shield for him.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5065; Muslim, 1400). Strive to follow this advice from the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), for this is the solution to your problem, in sha Allaah.

    There is nothing wrong with telling your father and mother of your need and desire to get married; don’t let shyness stop you from doing that.

    Think seriously about marriage and do not fear poverty, and Allaah will grant you independence of means by His bounty. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “And marry those among you who are single (i.e. a man who has no wife and the woman who has no husband) and (also marry) the Saalihoon (pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid-servants (female slaves). If they be poor, Allaah will enrich them out of His Bounty. And Allaah is All-Sufficient for His creatures’ needs, All-Knowing (about the state of the people)”

    [al-Noor 24:32]

    The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) has told us that the one who gets married with a good intention, Allaah will help him. It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There are three who are entitled to Allaah’s help: the mujaahid who fights for the sake of Allaah, the slave who made a contract of manumission with his master, wanting to buy his freedom, and the one who gets married, seeking chastity.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 1655; al-Nasaa’i, 3120; Ibn Maajah, 2518; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Targheeb wa’l-Tarheeb, 1917).

    Fourthly:

    If it is not easy for you to get married, then there is another solution, which is fasting. So why not think of fasting three days of each month, or on Mondays and Thursdays?

    How great is the reward of fasting. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said that Allaah said, “All the deeds of the son of Adam are for him except for fasting, which is for Me and I shall give reward for it.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1904; Muslim 1151).

    And Allaah tells us that He has enjoined fasting on us so that we might become pious:

    “O you who believe! Observing As-Sawm (the fasting) is prescribed for you as it was prescribed for those before you, that you may become Al-Muttaqoon (the pious)”

    [al-Baqarah 2:183]

    Fasting – as well as offering protection from following whims and desires and bringing a great reward from Allaah – also trains a person to have strong will, patience and forbearance, to rise above the desires and pleasures of the self. So hasten to fast so that Allaah may make things easier for you.

    Fifthly:

    Beware of thinking little of looking at haraam things in cheap magazines and nude pictures which lead to committing immoral actions that doom a person to Hell, and have deep and bad effects on the heart – Allaah forbid. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts). That is purer for them. Verily, Allaah is All-Aware of what they do”

    [al-Noor 24:30]

    You should note that if you think little of this evil, this gives the Shaytaan an opportunity to make other actions that lie beyond that seem attractive to you, which is obvious. But he will do that because you gave in to him, even if that only happened once.

    Sixthly:
    Remember, when the idea of sin come to you, or the Shaytaan whispers to you to commit a sin, that the parts of your body will bear witness against you on the Day of Resurrection for this sin. Do you not know that these limbs and this youthful energy are a blessing from Allaah to you? So can it be an act of gratitude to Allaah that you use them to disobey Allaah and rebel against the commands of Allaah?

    There is another matter which you should pay attention to. Read with me the following verse (interpretation of the meaning):

    “Till, when they reach it (Hell-fire), their hearing (ears) and their eyes and their skins will testify against them as to what they used to do.

    And they will say to their skins, ‘Why do you testify against us?’ They will say: ‘Allaah has caused us to speak.’ He causes all things to speak, and He created you the first time, and to Him you are made to return”
    [Fussilat 41:20-21]

    It was narrated that Anas ibn Maalik said: “We were with the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and he smiled and said, ‘Do you know why I am smiling?’ We said, ‘Allaah and His Messenger know best.’ He said, ‘Because of how a person will address his Lord. He will say, ‘O Lord, did You not guarantee me protection against injustice?’ He will say, ‘Yes.’ He will say, ‘I do not deem valid any witness against me but my own self.’ Allaah will say, ‘Your own self will be sufficient as a witness against you this Day, and the honourable scribes (recording angels) will also bear witness.’ Then a seal will be placed over his mouth and it will be said to his limbs, ‘Speak!’ And they will speak of his deeds. Then he will be allowed to speak and will say, ‘Away with you! It was for your sake that I argued.’” (Narrated by Muslim, 2969).

    Seventhly:

    Avoid being alone, for this makes you think about your desires. Try to fill your time with things that will benefit you, such as doing righteous deeds, reading Qur’aan, dhikr and prayer.

    Eighthly:

    Avoid keeping company with evil and immoral people who discuss these subjects, talk about things that provoke desire, take the matter of sin lightly and encourage it. You have to look for good friends who will remind you of Allaah and help you to obey Him. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “A man will follow the religion of his close friend, so be careful about who you make friends with.” (Narrated by al-Tirmidhi, 2378; classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi, 1937).

    Ninthly:

    If it so happens that you fall into sin in a moment of weakness, do not persist in that, rather be quick to repent to Allaah, lest you become one of those of whom Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

    “And those who, when they have committed Faahishah (illegal sexual intercourse) or wronged themselves with evil, remember Allaah and ask forgiveness for their sins; — and none can forgive sins but Allaah — and do not persist in what (wrong) they have done, while they know”

    [Aal ‘Imraan 3:135]

    My brother, do not despair of the mercy of Allaah. Beware of letting the Shaytaan have any power over you or letting him whisper to you that Allaah will never forgive you. For Allaah forgives all sins of those who repent to Him.

    I hope that Allaah will help you and will make it easy for you to get out of this problem.

    For more information on this topic I advise you to read the booklet Kayfa tawaajih al-shahwah: hadeeth ila al-shabaab wa’l-fatayaat.

    Islam Q&A
    I have a serious problem.

    رَبِّ ٱجۡعَلۡنِى مُقِيمَ ٱلصَّلَوٰةِ وَمِن ذُرِّيَّتِى*ۚ رَبَّنَا وَتَقَبَّلۡ دُعَآءِ (٤٠) رَبَّنَا ٱغۡفِرۡ لِى وَلِوَٲلِدَىَّ وَلِلۡمُؤۡمِنِينَ يَوۡمَ يَقُومُ ٱلۡحِسَابُ

  11. #9
    adeeb's Avatar
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    Re: I have a serious problem.

    nice reply maimunah...:bravo:

    just be proud of your self that you are unique brother.. in western world maybe u can commit a sin like do the act of homosexuality..but in Islam , u need to be cured.. and life as heterosexual...

    i think u need to stay away from books, or magazines or websites that contains bad pictures on it... seek protection from Allah and do as many good deeds as you can....

    remember, Allah is watching you all the time.. try to love a girl and get married as soon as possible...

    May Allah protect you from shaytan and give you the reward to jannah...ameen allahumma ameen..kay:

    every person has their own problem, even heterosexual, this kind of test for u in this dunya, and hopefully u can pass it with mercy from Allah...

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    DawoSida's Avatar
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    Re: I have a serious problem.

    Hey please I am currently 20 and feeling th same urge, I hate gays but Shaitan disturbs me, please I need ur help could u message me

  14. #11
    hardtimes's Avatar
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    Re: I have a serious problem.

    aslam alykum my dear brother i am facing the same situation , if you got anyhelp or done anything that helped you
    remove those homosexual thoughts please let me know thanks.


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