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Advice on marriage

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    Mikayeel's Avatar Full Member
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    Advice on marriage

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    salam wa alekum brothers and sisters.

    i seem to be bothered alot by this topic!, agian if there is a thread like this or has been i am sorry, am new here!

    well in islam we are adviced to marry at an young age, to complete our half deen etc, my self as an 18 year old student would love to get married at this age, but i find it impossible!( i live in the UK), simply because i cant aid my family or my wife at this moment. having in mind the aya in the quran! surah al noor 31) And marry those among you who are single (i.e. a man who has no wife and the woman who has no husband) and (also marry) the Sâlihûn (pious, fit and capable ones) of your (male) slaves and maid-servants (female slaves). If they be poor, Allâh will enrich them out of His Bounty. And Allâh is All-Sufficent for His creatures' needs, All-Knowing (about the state of the people). so in allah i should put my trust! because from what i understand this aya clearly states allah will enrich you if u marry in a poor state(may that be enrich in wealth, or happiness). so can i ask people facing the similar problem how they tackling it? and if people went through this stage and married very young could you please share ur expierence would mean alot to me, and alsalaam wa lekum thanks for reading this far peace
    Last edited by Umm Yoosuf; 01-03-2008 at 10:25 AM. Reason: text colour changed
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    Mikayeel's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Advice on marriage

    sorry guys for making the colour of the aya so hard to read!, if any moderator sees this could you please make it a better colour since i cant edit thanks
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    umar113's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Advice on marriage

    i understand that marrying at a young age if good but arent both the spouses supposed to be 18 or older (according to now)
    so the wife will be 17 or younger or u want to marry an older woman?
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    Mikayeel's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Advice on marriage

    no she obvsly has to be younger, but if the law does not allow it then i would marry under the islamic law.
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    ~Juwairiyah~'s Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Advice on marriage



    If you wish to get married young but not yet finanicially stable, why not get married and live with your parents till you can afford to live in your own apartment? Ofcourse you can also get a part-time job so that you can atleast give your parents a helping hand as well as to cover those small expenses both you and your wife might need. That's what i would have done
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    Re: Advice on marriage

    thats a good possibility thanks for it, i was considering it, has any one here done the same and proven succesfull? cmon guys ur info/expierence will be vital to me!, salam
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    Re: Advice on marriage

    my brother, the Almighty Allah is Ar-Razzaq - The Provider.

    yes you obviously have to make an effort to make money,
    but my brother dont ever worry about money,
    Allah will provide for you in such mysterious ways.

    it won't always be easy being young and married,
    but thats the test you have to face from the Almighty Allah.
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    Re: Advice on marriage

    thanks bro, saj1985, see i am not a money guy, i could live with a small amount!(enough to fill mine belly and hers), i think i am just going for it! regardless what the people around me say, they dnt no how it is being a young person living in a country like britian!, if you have experienced it than you know what i am talking about!, i dnt like the fact now a days that people wait till there 29,30,31+!! OMG!, thats sooo not cool, there excuse usually is i need to finish my degree!, get a house!, furnish the house!, get a car!, and by the time u hit 30+ u prob. r used to a single life by then!, and i dnt want to wait that long to get half my deen done
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    saj1985's Avatar Limited Member
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    Re: Advice on marriage

    format_quote Originally Posted by Hamada View Post
    thanks bro, saj1985, see i am not a money guy, i could live with a small amount!(enough to fill mine belly and hers), i think i am just going for it! regardless what the people around me say, they dnt no how it is being a young person living in a country like britian!, if you have experienced it than you know what i am talking about!, i dnt like the fact now a days that people wait till there 29,30,31+!! OMG!, thats sooo not cool, there excuse usually is i need to finish my degree!, get a house!, furnish the house!, get a car!, and by the time u hit 30+ u prob. r used to a single life by then!, and i dnt want to wait that long to get half my deen done
    may allah give you the strength and courage to do so!

    mashallah, i admire your wise words my brother.

    also you have to bare in mind choosing a partner,
    i remember mufti muhammad, son of shaykh ul hadith Maulana Adam,
    he did a bayaan, and in the bayaan (talk in leicester) i remember he said, you'd rather marry a women who doesnt practise but has a good heart and good intentions because she can change,
    instead of marrying a women who wears proper islamic wear (hijab/veil) and prays all her salat but has evil/bad intentions.

    it shows the importance of character/manner.

    i mentioned this only for your benefit
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    Re: Advice on marriage

    thanks alot bro saj1985, nice words of advice!, thanks for that i shall keep these words safe when i make my decision!, every one who reads this message i am in need of dua! please dnt hesitate, thanks alot!
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    umar113's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Advice on marriage

    i think u shud first save up a lot of money. wait till ike 21 or 23.
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    Re: Advice on marriage

    Salam aleikum

    I like that admiration of yours brother . I hope inshallah you find a really good sister .
    Last edited by limitless; 01-07-2008 at 11:47 PM.
    Advice on marriage

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    Re: Advice on marriage

    format_quote Originally Posted by limitless View Post
    Salam aleikum

    I like that admiration of yours brother . I hope inshallah you find a really good sister .
    AMEEN
    Advice on marriage

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    Re: Advice on marriage

    i tell u how we do in yemen..not sure where else..but yah... by the age 17+ the boy shud have a someone he wants to marry...not haram way by dating but by engaging ..of course thats after he knows her...which is when the people who know her say how she is and all...then after the wedding the groom takes her to his parents house if they cant afford there own house (always in the parents house tho..) and they eat and sleep and all just like there parents and all and of course u'd have to get a job and all part time full time any wud work but anyway then once u get richer er somthing u can rent or buy ur own house or if ur parent gotta good rent type of house thats like split in two..darn i forgot whats it called... then u can live in one side and its all urs and ur parents live in the other...sorry if this isnt usefull but i really find it normal for u to get married at this age and all...my brother never even wants to talk bout marriage to a muslim or anyone...american culture is messin him up..lol

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    Mikayeel's Avatar Full Member
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    Re: Advice on marriage

    format_quote Originally Posted by truemuslim View Post
    i tell u how we do in yemen..not sure where else..but yah... by the age 17+ the boy shud have a someone he wants to marry...not haram way by dating but by engaging ..of course thats after he knows her...which is when the people who know her say how she is and all...then after the wedding the groom takes her to his parents house if they cant afford there own house (always in the parents house tho..) and they eat and sleep and all just like there parents and all and of course u'd have to get a job and all part time full time any wud work but anyway then once u get richer er somthing u can rent or buy ur own house or if ur parent gotta good rent type of house thats like split in two..darn i forgot whats it called... then u can live in one side and its all urs and ur parents live in the other...sorry if this isnt usefull but i really find it normal for u to get married at this age and all...my brother never even wants to talk bout marriage to a muslim or anyone...american culture is messin him up..lol


    Thanks alot sis for ur extended answer, sorry i havent read this before so i couldnt thank u for it,

    So that means am gna go yemen in the next upgoing flight!!

    wa 3alekum alsalaam
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    Re: Advice on marriage

    lol bro u make me crack up... ***warning*** i hate the ride on the car to go to taiz...sscaaryy sooo deep then we see a broken thingy by the side of the 'road' and a bunch of ppl lookin down...A CAR FELL so that freaked me out even more i wanted to drive...(they go too oooo fast)
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