Education & Married Life For a Sister

**Rabi'ya** · 11-10-2005

brothers and sisters

I have a dilemma - it may not be as troublesome as some other members problems but I would like some advice if possible

When I was 17 I left college. It was about 2 months before my final A Levels exams so I never completed them even though I did the majority of the course. I feel like I want to study some more, not necessarily to have a career but just to feel like Ive achieved something for myself.

I have tried to re-enrol in college but I just dont feel comfortable there at the moment because I am confused about where I want it to lead me - if anywhere at all

I would like to enrol on an arabic course, which my local college does every 6 months but im confused.

I dont want my want of education to interfere with my husbands wishes and although he says he doesnt mind me studying in the future I still feel bad.

At the moment I am working full time but would like to spend more time at home in the very near future, so am looking to cut my hours to part time.I cant help but think that going back to college to study would perhaps be a step in the wrong direction.

Any suggestions guys?!?

Rabi'ya:rose:

**MetSudaisTwice** · 11-10-2005

salam
if your husband is supporting you financially then maybe you don't need to study or work, inshallah when you have your own family then you won't have time for study and work as it will be a full responsibility looking after your children
wasalam

**Rabi'ya** · 11-10-2005

brother

I hope, inshAllah after I have kids then I will feel like im acheiveing something out of life. At the moment i just sit at work all day and I cant help but think Im not really gaining anyting positive from this way of life.

I thought if I studied some short courses it might keep me occupied and increase my knowledge.

Rabi'ya:rose:

Z · 11-10-2005

Peace.

There's always distance learning. That costs though.

**Rabi'ya** · 11-10-2005

tru tru, i am actually thinking maybe to do some voluntary work. I already help out at the local Girl Guides once a week. The girls there are all non-muslim and they tend to ask a lot of questions about Islam. Alhamdulillah I feel a great sense of achievement every week when i leave the meeting.

Rabi'ya:rose:

**MetSudaisTwice** · 11-10-2005

salam
mashallah, may allah allaow you to continue to help and guide your community
wasalam

**Ansar Al-'Adl** · 11-12-2005

Sister Rabi'ya,
If your husband is also in agreement with your desire to continue your education then it may be a good idea to go ahead with it. One should consider how they can serve the Muslim Ummah and we need more educated Muslims, especially women, speaking out and guiding both Muslims and Non-muslims. You should think about pursuing a subject that you enjoy and the could help you accomplish your goal of supporting the Muslim Ummah. There is no conflict between being a good wife/mother and actively taking part in the community and learning at the same time.

**Noor** · 11-12-2005

Anytime a Muslim is making a decision, he or she should seek Allah's guidance and wisdom. Allah alone knows what is best for us, and there may be good in what we perceive as bad, and bad in what we perceive as good.

If you are ambivalent or unsure about a decision you have to make, there is a specific prayer for guidance (Salat-l-Istikhara) that you can do to ask for Allah's help in making your decision. Should you marry this certain person? Should you attend this graduate school? Should you take this job offer or that one? Allah knows what is best for you, and if you are not sure about a choice that you have, seek His guidance.

The Prophet Muhammad said, "If one of you is concerned about some practical undertaking, or about making plans for a journey, he should perform two cycles (rak'atain) of voluntary prayer." Then he/she should say the following du'a:

Translation:

Oh Allah! I seek Your guidance by virtue of Your knowledge, and I seek ability by virtue of Your power, and I ask You of Your great bounty. You have power; I have none. And You know; I know not. You are the Knower of hidden things.

Oh Allah! If in Your knowledge, (this matter*) is good for my religion, my livelihood and my affairs, immediate and in the future, then ordain it for me, make it easy for me, and bless it for me. And if in Your knowledge, (this matter*) is bad for my religion, my livelihood and my affairs, immediate and in the future, then turn it away from me, and turn me away from it. And ordain for me the good wherever it may be, and make me content with it.

Transliteration:

Allahumma inni astakheeroka bi ilmik. Wa'astaq-diroka biqodratik. Wa'as'aloka min fadlikal-azeem. Fa'innaka taqdiru wala aqdir. Wata lamo wala-a lam. Wa'anta-allamul ghuyoob.

Allahumma in kunta ta lamu anna (hathal-amra*) khayul-lee fi deenee wama ashi wa ajila amri wa'ajilah, faqdorho lee, wayassirho lee, thomma-barik lee fih. Wa'in konta ta lamo anna (hathal-amra*) sharrul-lee fi deenee. Wama ashi. Wa ajila amri. Wa'ajilaho. Fasrifho annee. Wasrifnee anh. Waqdur leyal-khayr haytho kan. Thomma ardini bih.

*When making the du'a, the actual matter or decision should be mentioned instead of the words "hathal-amra" ("this matter").

* After doing salat-l-istikhara, you may feel more inclined toward a decision one way or the other.

**Rabi'ya** · 11-12-2005

JAzakAllah Kheir for some very good advice. I have worked for a short time with some elderly people. Helping out in their homes and I really enjoyed this kind of work. It actually made me feel like I was benefiting someone as well as earning some money for myself at the same time.

Do you think it would be a good idea to continue this kind of work but persue some education in this direction to help me to serve these people better?

Rabi'ya:rose: