Will we burn in hell if we dont do the Valima reception ?

**anonymous** · 03-12-2016

In my community, it is common to throw feasts calling 100s of people for Valima reception

However if a person has always been a laughing stock and suffers from stage fear and panic attacks when being a centre of attraction in crowd and does not want to to Valima , will he burn in hell ?

Is publicising marriage and doing Valima is Fard and is there is any statment in Quran that we will burn in hell if we dont do Valima

Are there other alternative options of having people fed without public gathering ?

Is the marriage not valid without Valima ?

Is not sufficient if there is already nikah done in masjid , with Waali ,Imam , Mahr being paid and signature in marriage register ?

**Abz2000** · 03-12-2016

If you are capable of organizing a waleemah (not valima) then it is the advice of the Prophet pbuh to do so, this is a method of attaining blessing and also of making clear to the community that two people are together in lawful wedlock, anybody who has any exception to the legality of such a wedding is also given the chance to hear about such an event, it actually helps to ensure that you're getting the right spouse and not a conman/woman, family members of both parties which have been joined together in kinship also have a get to know each other, especially if it is a tribal atmosphere where it is essential to break ice where there may have previously been beef (bear in mind that a whole tribe of captives were released out of goodwill after it was announced that the messenger of Allah pbuh was marrying a member of that tribe).
there are many other benefits besides those i've mentioned and i hope that other Muslim members can contribute with their experiences.

**hisnameiszzz** · 03-12-2016

Why would you get stage fright during a waleema or is that just a phrase you have used?

If you do it Islamically, it's just a waleema. There is nothing grandiose or pompous about it. For instance, if an aalims child or someone from a very religious family get married they do a traditional waleema without any pomp and over the topness. When the head Imam of my local Masjid's son's got married, they did a very small private waleema with only a handful of people invited.

Now if you are talking about all these wannabe waleemas where people try and copy Hindu and celebrity traditions, well that is quite scary and would probably put me right off also. Someone who lives near me had a huge waleema with feet washing (think it's a Hindu tradition) and loads of dancing and drum playing (no idea who they were trying to copy there).

Stuff tradition. Why blow loads of money on feasts? Do what you feel is right. You don't have to invite the whole world and his wife. Isn't it your choice?

All the best.

**anonymous** · 03-12-2016

Originally Posted by hisnameiszzz

Stuff tradition. Why blow loads of money on feasts? Do what you feel is right. You don't have to invite the whole world and his wife. Isn't it your choice?

All the best.

And if i dont do any valima at all , does that make the marriage forbidden and will I burn in hell for it ?

**hisnameiszzz** · 03-12-2016

Originally Posted by anonymous

And if i dont do any valima at all , does that make the marriage forbidden and will I burn in hell for it ?

As far as I am aware you don't have to do one. But I am not an aalim so best that you speak to one.

I know some people locally who didn't do one. They are very religious.

**anonymous** · 03-12-2016

Why would you get stage fright during a waleema or is that just a phrase you have used?

I just cannot stand crowds and being the centre of attention and i suffer from nervousness and i can potentially get a heart attack .Yes there will be a huge crowd

Rather than simply attacking me for the way Allah has created me , your 2 cents would be better spent if you can tell me if there are any exceptions to the Valima ruling .

**Alpha Dude** · 03-12-2016

Walima is not wajib but a very recommended sunnah. For more information, read this.

You can still do a walima without it needing to be a huge gathering, as mentioned above. Even a small gathering of family/friends is fine, e.g. 10-15 people.