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Maryam
03-15-2005, 09:13 PM
:sl:

Have a good read, good article though ;)

How to Make Your Husband Happy

Assalamu `alaikum wa rahmatullah!

This is the continuation of the summaries of the two books by Sheikh Mohammed
Abdelhaleem Hamed. The following is Part 1 of a summary of the second book
How to Make Your Husband Happy.

In the Name of Allaah, The Most Merciful, The Most Compassionate
Assalamo Alaykom Warahmatu Ullahi Wabarakatuh
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

To help strengthening the Muslim families and spread the teachings of Islam
in building families, the Muslim Students' Association at the University of
Alberta prepared a extremely summarized translation for two books. The
books are Arabic by Sheikh Mohammad Abdelhaleem Hamed. An Egyptian scholar,
Who graduated from the Islamic University of AlMadinah Al-Munawwarah in
Saudi Arabia. The two books are:

1- How to make your wife happy
2- How to make your husband happy

These are the best Arabic books I have seen on this subject. They exceed
the traditional presentation of stating rights and duties to the 'Adab (good
manners) and extend into application of these rights in daily life. The
following summary highlights mainly the responsibilities or examples of what
could or should be done. Every single item mentioned by the author is
supported by evidences from Qur'an, Sunnah or the actions of the companions,
but evidences are omitted in this translation. The following is the
translation of the SECOND book.

This translation is copyrighted to MSA at University of Alberta. Feel free
to repost it or reprint it by all means, provided that you do not make any
changes, additions, or omissions without permission.

How to make your Husband happy !! (Part 1)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The following is part ONE of a summary of the book "How to make your
husband happy" by Sheikh Mohammed Abdelhaleem Hamed.

1- Beautiful Reception
----------------------
After returning from work, school, travel, or whatever has separated you,
begin with a good greeting.

* Meet him with a cheerful face.
* Beautify and perfume yourself.
* Start with good news and delay any bad news until he has rested.
* Receive him with loving and yearning sentences.
* Make hard efforts for excellence of the food & having it ready on time.

2- Beautify and Soften the Voice
--------------------------------
* For your husband only, it shouldn't be used in front of non-mahram men
(men who can marry you if you were unmarried).

3- Smelling Good and Physical Beautification
--------------------------------------------
* Taking good care of your body and fitness.
* Put on nice and attractive clothes and perfumes.
* Bath regularly and, after the monthly period, remove any blood traces
or bad smells.
* Avoide that your husband observes you in dirty clothes or rough shape.
* Avoide prohibited types of ornamentation, e.g. tatoo.
* Use the types of perfumes, colors, and clothes that the husband likes.
* Change hair style, perfumes, etc. from time to time.
* However with these things you should avoid excessiveness and, of course,
only act as such in front of mahrem men and women.

4- Intercourse
--------------
* Hasten for intercourse when your husband feels compulsion for it.
* Keep your body clean and smelling good as possible including cleaning
yourself of released fluids during intercourse.
* Exchange loving phrases with your husband.
* Leave your husband to fully satisfy his desire.
* Choose suitable times and good occasions for exciting your husband,
and encouraging him to do intercourse, e.g. after returning from a
travel, weekends, etc.

5- Satisfaction With What Allah (SWT) Has Allotted
--------------------------------------------------
* You shouldn't be depressed because your husband is poor or works in a
simple job.
* You should look at poor, sick, and handicapped people and remember
Allah (SWT) for all that was given to you.
* You should remember that real wealth lays in Iman and piety.

6- Indifference to Worldly Things
---------------------------------
* You should not consider this world as your hope and interest.
* You should not ask your husband for many unnecessary things.
* Asceticism does not mean not to enjoy what is good and permissible
(Halal), but it means that one should look forward to the hereafter and
utilize whatever Allah SWT gave them to achieve paradise (Jannah).
* Encourage your husband to reduce expenses and save some money in order
to give charity and feed poor and needy people.

7- Appreciation
---------------
* By the saying of the prophet, the majority of people in hell were women
because they were ungrateful and deny the good done to them.
* The result of being grateful is that your husband will love you more and
will do his best to please you in more ways.
* The result of being ungrateful is that your husband will be dissappointed
and will start asking himself: Why should I do good to her, if she never
appreciates?

8- Devotion and Loyalty
-----------------------
* In particular in times of calamities in your husband's body or business,
e.g. an accident or a bankruptcy
* Supporting him through your own work, money, and properties if needed.

9- Compliance to Him
--------------------
* In all what he commands you, unless it is prohibited (Haram).
* In Islam, the husband is the leader of the family, and the wife is his
support and consultant.


10-Pleasing Him If He Is Angry
------------------------------
* First off, try to avoid what will guarantee his anger.
* But if it happens that you can't, then try to appease him as follows:
1- If you mistaken, then apologize.
2- If he mistaken then:
# Keep still instead of arguing or
# Yield you right or
# Wait until he is no longer angry and discuss the matter peacefully
with him.
3- If he was angry because of external reasons then:
# Keeping silent untill his anger goes
# Find execuses for him, e.g. tired, problems at work, some one
insulted him
# Do not ask many questions and insist on knowing what happened,
e.g. 1) You should tell me what happened? 2) I must know what
made you so angry. 3) You are hidding something, and I have the
right to know

11-Guardianship While He is Absent
----------------------------------
* Protecting yourself from any prohibited relations.
* Keep the secrets of the family, particularly intercourse and things
that the husbands don't like other people to know.
* Take care of the house and children.
* Takecare of his money and properties.
* Do not go out of your house without his permission and put on full
hijab.
* Refuse people whom he does not like to come over.
* Do not allow any non-mahram man to be alone with you in any place.
* Be good with his parents and relatives in his absence.

12- Showing Respect for his Family and Friends
----------------------------------------------
* You should welcome his guests and try to please them, especially his
parents.
* You should avoid problems as much as you can with his relatives.
* You should avoid putting him is a position where he had to choose
between his mother and his wife.
* Show good hospitality for his guests by arranging a nice place for them to
sit in, perfection of food, welcoming their wives, etc.
* Encourage him to visit his relatives and invite them to your home.
* Phone his parents and sisters, send letters to them, buy gifts for
them, support them in calamities, etc..

13- Admirable Jealousy
----------------------
* Jealousy is a sign for wife's love for her husband but it should be kept
within the limits of Islam, e.g. not insulating or backbiting others,
disrespecting them, etc..
* You should not follow or create unfounded doubts.

14-Patience and Emotional Support
---------------------------------
* Be patient when you face poverty and strained circumstances.
* When you face calamities and disasters that may happen to you, your
hsubandh, your children, relatives or properties, e.g. diseases,
accidents, death, etc.
* When facing hardships in Da'wah (imprisonment, getting fired, arrested,
etc.), be patient and encourage him to keep on the path of Allah and
remind him of paradise.
* When he mistreats you, counteract his ill-treatment by good treatment

15- Support in Obedience to Allah, Da'wah and Jihad
----------------------------------------------------
* Cooperate with your husband and remind him of different obligatory
and voluntary worships.
* Encourage him to pray at night.
* Listen and reciting the Qur'an individually and with your husband.
* Listen to Islamic tapes and songs individually and with your husband.
* Remember Allah SWT much, particularly after Fajr and before Maghrib.
* Share in arranging Da'wah activities for women and children.
* Learn Islamic rules (ahkam) and good manners ('adab) for women.
* Support your husband's activities by encouraging him, offering wise
opinions, soothing his pains, etc.
* Yielding some of your rights and a part of your time with your husband
for Da'wah.
* Encourage him to go for Jihad when needed and remind him that you and
children will be in the preservation of Allah SWT.

16-Good Housekeeping
--------------------
* Keep it clean, decorated and well arranged.
* Change house arrangements from time to time to avoid boredom.
* Perfect of food and prepare healthy foods.
* Learn all the necessary skills for managing the house, e.g. sewing.
* Learn how to raise children properly and in an Islamic way.

17-Preservation of Finances and the Family
------------------------------------------
* Do not spend from his money, even for charity without his permission
unless you are sure that he agrees on this.
* Protect his house, car, etc. while he is absent.
* Keep the children in good shape, clean clothes, etc. Take care of
their nutrition, health, education, manners, etc. Teach them Islam
and tell them the stories of the Prophets and companions.

:w:
(Ref: http://www.jannah.org/sisters/marriage.html) ;)
Reply

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Brother_Mujahid
03-15-2005, 09:39 PM
this should really be called the ideal wife........ haha
Reply

Maryam
03-15-2005, 09:44 PM
its doesn't matter, but those articles, we should be aware off.
Most parents doesn't realize what they are doing are sometimes WRONG!
I could see which parents is, but better keep it personal.
And again, its good for others who's not marriedm, and may Allah (swt) guides them and open their mind of what Husband's right and the wife's right too.
it should be met, like we should be meeting the child's needs. :zip: :)
Reply

salman128
01-21-2006, 07:37 PM
Jazaakallah khair
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zaheer
01-21-2006, 09:02 PM
a hungry man is an angry man

just keep giving him food and he will be happy. LOL
Reply

taebah
01-21-2006, 10:32 PM
Assalamu aliakum,

Jazaaki Allah khair sister.

There is a really, really good lecture for Sh. Muhammad Al-Shareef titled "How to be a good Muslim spouse". I encourage everyone to listen to it.
Reply

nikki
01-21-2006, 11:32 PM
Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatu

jazakallah khair for the posts! im soooo happy to read it- although i knew most of it already looool!
insha'Allah when i am married soon i shall make my husband proud!

i pray you all take care and continue to spread the message of islam.
love to our ummah
xxxxx:loving:
:muslimah:

some useful sites for the sisters:

http://www.jannah.org/sisters/marr.html

http://63.175.194.25/index.php?ds=qa...R=21134&dgn=3&

http://www.muhajabah.com/niqab-index.htm


and a good site for revert videos! Allahu Akbar so inspiring!

http://www.turntoislam.com/index.html
Reply

DaSangarTalib
01-22-2006, 12:17 AM
:sl:

Tru Tru good advice fo the sistaz hope they learn from it Insha Allah :)

:w:
Reply

soraia
02-01-2006, 07:16 AM
:sl: thank you this is very nice:)
Reply

Tilmeez
02-01-2006, 08:52 AM
Mashallah good read...
I think i read the same thing here somewhere>>> dono
Reply

Omer21
02-02-2006, 08:20 PM
Hah only if people practice what is written, on paper that sounds great however I bet 5-10% of the sisters actually practice those methods. If they did I would not hear so much bickering when ever all the guys hang out!!
Reply

aamirsaab
02-02-2006, 08:40 PM
:sl:
Originally Posted by Omer21
Hah only if people practice what is written, on paper that sounds great however I bet 5-10% of the sisters actually practice those methods. If they did I would not hear so much bickering when ever all the guys hang out!!
That is probably true. :)

How to make your Husband happy
Easy, dont buy high priced goods with his card ;)
Reply

soraia
02-02-2006, 08:47 PM
Originally Posted by Omer21
Hah only if people practice what is written, on paper that sounds great however I bet 5-10% of the sisters actually practice those methods. If they did I would not hear so much bickering when ever all the guys hang out!!
:sl:

they shouldnt be talking about what happens between him and his wife regardless. what happens at home should stay home:rollseyes

if they are so unhappy, why dont they tell their wives instead of their friends???

:w: :sister:
Reply

ameen
02-02-2006, 08:47 PM
salam,

It's because of people like him ^^^ that I think threads like these are a bad idea: only serves to produce obnoxious attitudes in men.

Besides, it's not about 'practising what is written'. since the article was written by a man.
Reply

soraia
02-02-2006, 09:11 PM
Originally Posted by Ameen-
salam,

It's because of people like him ^^^ that I think threads like these are a bad idea: only serves to produce obnoxious attitudes in men.

Besides, it's not about 'practising what is written'. since the article was written by a man.
people like who?:?
Reply

ameen
02-02-2006, 09:14 PM
I'm talking about this post:

"Hah only if people practice what is written, on paper that sounds great however I bet 5-10% of the sisters actually practice those methods. If they did I would not hear so much bickering when ever all the guys hang out!!"
Reply

soraia
02-02-2006, 09:33 PM
Originally Posted by Ameen-
I'm talking about this post:

"Hah only if people practice what is written, on paper that sounds great however I bet 5-10% of the sisters actually practice those methods. If they did I would not hear so much bickering when ever all the guys hang out!!"
i see sorry :P i realized you posted at the same time as me now sowee:rollseyes

:sister:
Reply

Omer21
02-02-2006, 10:47 PM
Originally Posted by Ameen-
salam,

It's because of people like him ^^^ that I think threads like these are a bad idea: only serves to produce obnoxious attitudes in men.

Besides, it's not about 'practising what is written'. since the article was written by a man.
chill out, obviouly no one wil adhere to those things anyway. Most wifes would read this and laugh for a good 5 minutes. Sounds like something from a wifes manual from the 1950's it's too PC for the 2006!

Im sure there are a few who will read and follow this advise and to those husbands well you guys have a good obideiant wife.
Reply

cookie_doh
02-02-2006, 11:57 PM
jazakallah khair, that was v.interesting.
Reply

nurul3eyn
02-03-2006, 07:19 PM
:sl:
HOW ABOUT HOW TO MAKE UR WIFE HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!AY? :D
:w:
Reply

~Mischa~
02-03-2006, 07:26 PM
salaam,

this thread has already been done... think it was moved to the sisters section.

:sister:

wa'salaam.
Reply

soraia
02-03-2006, 08:20 PM
Originally Posted by ~Mischa~
salaam,

this thread has already been done... think it was moved to the sisters section.

:sister:

wa'salaam.
i cant see it:( i need 50 posts:(
Reply

Snowflake
02-04-2006, 01:18 AM
Everyone chill out plz! This is exactly how arguments break out in marriages. So learn. Both men and women can be equally as bad as each other. It's fine to confide in someone for advice about ur problemz, but neither men or women should go around bad mouthing their partners just for the sake of gossip and attention seeking. Both parties have duties to fulfil towards each other.
Reply

james
02-04-2006, 09:11 AM
SOUNDS LIKE slavery TO ME..........WE LIVE in 2005.......not 5 thousand years ago.........it was almost comical to read......DEMOCRACY?? FREEDOM?....WOMAN'S RIGHT'S?......HOUSE WIFE?...HOUSE HUSBAND? are they different?.......NO...OF COURSE NOT!.......wake up women and smell the coffee......or tea with milk and without sugar..incase your husband thinks your having too much sugar....ALLAH gave men brains.......AND I KNOW THIS WILL SURPRISE SOME FANATICS OUT THERE but ALLAH gave women the SAME brain..not worse not better.THE SAME.....!.......HELLOOOOOOOO.

WAKE UP......!
Reply

Snowflake
02-07-2006, 09:57 PM
Originally Posted by nikki
salaam alaikum
it is good to do so as at the feet of our spouse is Jannah- i mean this for wife or husband-
I thought jannah is under your mother's feet. When did husband's make claim to this privilege? :p
Reply

suhura
02-08-2006, 12:44 PM
Originally Posted by Omer21
Hah only if people practice what is written, on paper that sounds great however I bet 5-10% of the sisters actually practice those methods. If they did I would not hear so much bickering when ever all the guys hang out!!

You know I bet that while you guys were out bickering about the girls the girls were probably complaining about you. Look nobody's perfect! God has made us to accomodate each other and mostly to accept each others shortcomings.
So don't think that only woman makes mistakes!
Reply

Sis786
02-08-2006, 01:55 PM
A Marriage is made up of two partners and in most cases many men forget this. Lets look at a example where a Man commits adultery and the women accepts this and forgives him. If she doesnt may will say "Oh my it was just a fling and he was sorry and look at her she rather break up her home" YET If a women does the same act the Man is pushed into divorcing his USED wife.

Dont get me wrong im NOT saying Adultery is right, But its an example as to how the two partners and their statues is viewed differently.

Now back to the topic as to how to make your Husband happy. AND SISTERS i been married for 3 years (may not seem that loong to you BUT it is) and one way of making a man happy and the only way is to CLOSE YOU EYES, MOUTH AND EARS. Yepp the only way is to behave like a zombie.

Islams teaching is beautiful and IF only MEN and women acted like this the WORD Divorced wouldnt even be mentioned amongst us BUT its the applying which is most difficult.
Reply

MetSudaisTwice
02-08-2006, 02:01 PM
salam
mashallah well said sis, very true too^^
jazakllah for sharing
may allah grant us pious partners inshallah
wasalam
Reply

Sis786
02-08-2006, 04:36 PM
Originally Posted by metsudaistwice
salam
mashallah well said sis, very true too^^
jazakllah for sharing
may allah grant us pious partners inshallah
wasalam
:rollseyes Wondering which bit you are agreeing too :?
Reply

MetSudaisTwice
02-08-2006, 04:37 PM
salam
i agree with all of it apart from the 2nd to last paragraph sis
wasalam
Reply

Sis786
02-08-2006, 05:18 PM
Originally Posted by metsudaistwice
salam
i agree with all of it apart from the 2nd to last paragraph sis
wasalam
Smooth reponse Bro!:coolious:
Reply

Pinkie
02-08-2006, 05:30 PM
:sl:
If anyone has an article of how to keep your wife happy, I will be glad to read it;D

And it would be helpful to marry someone who has a taste for interior decorating. I'm not only talking about someone who likes to decorate-I'm talking about a brother who is not afraid to say his helpful critique!
Reply

*Ayshah*
02-08-2006, 07:37 PM
lol...is this book written by a man by any chance...

well said sis786...agree with you...
Reply

Snowflake
02-08-2006, 08:34 PM
Originally Posted by Sis786
Now back to the topic as to how to make your Husband happy. AND SISTERS i been married for 3 years (may not seem that loong to you BUT it is) and one way of making a man happy and the only way is to CLOSE YOU EYES, MOUTH AND EARS. Yepp the only way is to behave like a zombie.
Is that a suggestion sis? :?
Reply

UmmKhadi
02-08-2006, 08:57 PM
I never heard of men who wanted a zombie wife. I thought most men liked a good argument or a good discussion sometimes. And to talk about life in general...
Reply

Sis786
02-09-2006, 08:58 AM
Originally Posted by UmmKhadi
I never heard of men who wanted a zombie wife. I thought most men liked a good argument or a good discussion sometimes. And to talk about life in general...
Hmmm Sis :? Ive come to the conclusion that you aint married lol:giggling: Only Joking Sis.

Yep Men Like a GOOD ARGUMENT No doubting THAT But if they dont win (regardless of whether there right or wrong) You gonna find HIM not talking to you for a GOOD COUPLE OF DAYS! Yep you go back to being a Zombie and THEN HES HAPPY! LOL

By the way its my Third Year Anniversary Today and im thinking My Husband has forgot BUT im remaining a :X Yep Zombie!
Reply

UmmKhadi
02-09-2006, 07:57 PM
I have been married for more than ten years... ;)
Reply

Snowflake
02-09-2006, 09:56 PM
I disagree. Men are not happy with zombie wives. They want someone they can interact with on every level. I know a couple where the sis doesnt have any views of her own and only replies in nods, yes, no, maybe, ok etc etc. She's never aired a view of her own about anything. He finds this extremely annoying. I'm sure the poor is thinking that he'd get more conversation out of a parrot than her.
Reply

Sis786
02-10-2006, 09:28 AM
Originally Posted by UmmKhadi
I have been married for more than ten years... ;)
Lol Sis, I think you win that case. May Allah SWT always keep you happy and your marriage blessed. Aameen
Reply

arashid
02-10-2006, 10:59 PM
beneficial but only for those who understand
Reply

Muhammad
02-13-2006, 06:23 PM
:sl:

Some posts have been moved to the following thread, where the same discussion was taking place:

http://www.islamicboard.com/marriage...us-wife-7.html

:w:
Reply

Kittygyal
02-13-2006, 06:27 PM
very intresting :)
Reply

arashid
02-13-2006, 11:19 PM
Originally Posted by Nadia Waheed
I disagree. Men are not happy with zombie wives. They want someone they can interact with on every level. I know a couple where the sis doesnt have any views of her own and only replies in nods, yes, no, maybe, ok etc etc. She's never aired a view of her own about anything. He finds this extremely annoying. I'm sure the poor is thinking that he'd get more conversation out of a parrot than her.
i do agree sister nadia but did anyone thought about a dominating husband and cruel.this is only a way given so that to please the husband,on the other side the way should be given so that how a husband should please his wife.a wife is as she is but not as slave for all his needs and submitting in however situation to her husband command.in islam authority has been favorised to the husband but to protect his wife and childrens.not to take advantage of it so that to be cruel and harsh to them.zombies is not the word to be given i think.cause both sides are ivolved either wife or husband unless doing good.
Reply

arashid
02-13-2006, 11:23 PM
Originally Posted by Pinkie
:sl:
If anyone has an article of how to keep your wife happy, I will be glad to read it;D

And it would be helpful to marry someone who has a taste for interior decorating. I'm not only talking about someone who likes to decorate-I'm talking about a brother who is not afraid to say his helpful critique!
well done this is what i wanted to hear about,see my reply to nadia waheed. you will understand.thanks again
Reply

FBI
11-25-2006, 05:14 PM
:sl:

Top way to keep the hubby happy, buy him a PS3.
Reply

Sis_ReNa
11-25-2006, 05:16 PM
Originally Posted by FBI
:sl:

Top way to keep the hubby happy, buy him a PS3.
only if he lets me and my mom play it too LOL
Reply

BlissfullyJaded
11-25-2006, 05:18 PM
:sl:

*Threads Merged*

Please do a search before posting such articles that could have been posted before. Shukran!
Reply

Ibn Abi Ahmed
11-25-2006, 05:23 PM
:sl:

Nice lists...here's a nice 'Gem' from the AlMaghrib class, Love Notes: Marriage and Family Life, that a sister at AlMaghrib forums posted:

men are like elastic bands: when men withdraw they "snap" right back and so the love is even greater. but if the wife continues to follow her husband and doesn't allow him to go as far as the elastic with stretch then he will never snap back!
http://forums.almaghrib.org/showpost...8&postcount=76
Give us some room when we get angry :-\

:w:
Reply

IbnAbdulHakim
11-25-2006, 05:33 PM
Originally Posted by Ähmed
:sl:

Give us some room when we get angry :-\

:w:
:salamext:

sometimes its nice when the wife does that cause it shows she cares so personally i wouldnt mind so this shows not all men are like that.

dont try makin me sound girly :anger: lol

:wasalamex
Reply

sister_fatimah
11-25-2006, 05:52 PM
as salaamu 'alaykum

jazaka Allahu Khairan

some good points...likes number 15 about jihaad , but i think that it required so much iman , its a big test for wives

im sinlge bur reading this kind of post my conclusion is : be a wife is a beautiful but hard work , masha Allah
Reply

Ibn Abi Ahmed
11-26-2006, 12:08 AM
Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
:salamext:

sometimes its nice when the wife does that cause it shows she cares so personally i wouldnt mind so this shows not all men are like that.

dont try makin me sound girly :anger: lol

:wasalamex
:sl:

Yeah good point. I agree, it would be nice sometimes because that would be because they care.

:w:
Reply

Samira_01
12-21-2006, 08:10 PM
1. Beautiful Reception

After returning from work, school, travel, or whatever has separated you,

Begin with a good greeting.

Meet him with a cheerful face

Beautify and perfume yourself

Start with good news and delay any bad news until he has rested

Receive him with loving and yearning sentences

Make hard efforts for excellence of the food & having it ready on time.




2. Beautify and Soften the Voice

For your husband only, it shouldn't be used in front of non-mahram men (men who can marry you if you were unmarried)




3. Smelling Good and Physical Beautification

Take good care of your body and fitness.

Put on nice and attractive clothes and perfumes.

Bathe regularly and, after the monthly period, remove any blood traces or bad smells.

Avoid that your husband observes you in dirty clothes or rough shape

Avoid prohibited types of ornamentation, e.g. tatoos

Use the types of perfumes, colors, and clothes that the husband likes

Change hair style, perfumes, etc. from time to time However with these things you should avoid excessiveness and, of course only act as such in front of mahrem men and women.






4. Intercourse

Hasten for intercourse when your husband feels compulsion for it.

Keep your body clean and smelling good as possible including cleaning yourself of released fluids during intercourse.

Exchange loving phrases with your husband.

Leave your husband to fully satisfy his desire.

Choose suitable times and good occasions for exciting your husband and encouraging him to do intercourse, e.g. after returning from a travel, weekends, etc.






5. Satisfaction With What Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aalaa) Has Allotted

You shouldn't be depressed because your husband is poor or works in a simple job

You should look at poor, sick, and handicapped people and remember Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aalaa) for all that was given to you.

You should remember that real wealth lies in faith and piety.







6. Indifference to Worldly Things

You should not consider this world as your hope and interest.

You should not ask your husband for many unnecessary things.

Asceticism does not mean not to enjoy what is good and permissible (Halal), but it means that one should look forward to the Hereafter and utilize whatever Allah SWT gave them to achieve paradise (Al-Jannah).

Encourage your husband to reduce expenses and save some money in order to give charity and feed poor and needy people.






7. Appreciation

By the saying of the Prophet (sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam), the majority of people in Hell were women because they were ungrateful and deny the good done to them.

The result of being grateful is that your husband will love you more and will do his best to please you in more ways

The result of being ungrateful is that your husband will be disappointed and will start asking himself: "Why should I do good to her, if she never appreciates?"







8. Devotion and Loyalty

In particular in times of calamities in your husband's body or business e.g. an accident or a bankruptcy

Supporting him through your own work, money, and properties if needed.





9. Compliance to Him

In all what he commands you, unless it is prohibited (Haram)

In Islam, the husband is the leader of the family, and the wife is his support and consultant.




10. Pleasing Him If He Is Angry

First off, try to avoid what will guarantee his anger. But if it happens that you can't, then try to appease him as follows:

If you were mistaken, then apologize

If he was mistaken then:
Keep still instead of arguing or
Yield you right or
Wait until he is no longer angry and discuss the matter peacefully with him.

If he was angry because of external reasons then:
Keep silent until his anger goes
Find excuses for him, e.g. tired, problems at work, someone insulted him

Do not ask many questions and insist on knowing what happened e.g.
1) You should tell me what happened!
2) I must know what made you so angry!
3) You are hiding something, and I have the right to know!






11. Guardianship While He is Absent

Protect yourself from any prohibited relations

Keep the secrets of the family, particularly intercourse and things that the husbands don't like other people to know.

Take care of the house and children.

Take care of his money and properties

Do not go out of your house without his permission and put on full hijaab

Refuse people whom he does not like to come over

Do not allow any non-mahram man to be alone with you in any place

Be good with his parents and relatives in his absence






12. Showing Respect for his Family and Friends

You should welcome his guests and try to please them, especially his parents.

You should avoid problems as much as you can with his relatives.

You should avoid putting him is a position where he had to choose between his mother and his wife

Show good hospitality for his guests by arranging a nice place for them to sit in, perfection of food, welcoming their wives, etc.

Encourage him to visit his relatives and invite them to your home

Phone his parents and sisters, send letters to them, buy gifts for them, support them in calamities, etc...





13. Admirable Jealousy

Jealousy is a sign for wife's love for her husband but it should be kept within the limits of Islam, e.g. not insulting or backbiting others disrespecting them, etc…

You should not follow or create unfounded doubts.




14. Patience and Emotional Support

Be patient when you face poverty and strained circumstances.

When you face calamities and disasters that may happen to you, your husband, his and your children, relatives or properties, e.g. diseases, accidents, death, etc.

When facing hardships in Da'wah (imprisonment, getting fired, arrested etc.

Be patient and encourage him to keep on the path of Allah and remind him of Paradise.

When he mistreats you, counteract his ill-treatment by good treatment.








15. Support in Obedience to Allah, Da'wah and Jihad

Cooperate with your husband and remind him of different obligatory and voluntary worships.

Encourage him to pray at night.

Listen and reciting the Qur'aan individually and with your husband.

Listen to Islamic tapes and songs individually and with your husband.

Remember Allah subhaanahu wa ta'aalaa, much, particularly after Fajr and before Maghrib.

Share in arranging Da'wah activities for women and children.

Learn Islamic rules (ahkaam) and good manners ('adab) for women.

Support your husband's activities by encouraging him, offering wise opinions, soothing his pains, etc.

Yielding some of your rights and a part of your time with your husband for Da'wah

Encourage him to go for Jihad when needed and remind him that you and children will be in the preservation of Allah, subhaanahu wa ta'aalaa.









16. Good Housekeeping

Keep it clean, decorated and well arranged

Change house arrangements from time to time to avoid boredom

Perfect food (preparation) and prepare healthy foods

Learn all the necessary skills for managing the house, e.g. sewing

Learn how to raise children properly and in an Islamic way.







17. Preservation of Finances and the Family

Do not spend from his money, even for charity without his permission unless you are sure that he agrees on this.

Protect his house, car, etc. while he is absent.

Keep the children in good shape, clean clothes, etc. Take care of their nutrition, health, education, manners, etc. Teach them Islam and tell them the stories of the Prophets and companions.
Reply

Jayda
12-21-2006, 08:16 PM
hola,

shouldnt a lot of these be considered common sense?

gracias
Reply

BlissfullyJaded
12-21-2006, 08:26 PM
:sl:

*Threads Merged*
Reply

Snowflake
12-21-2006, 08:30 PM
tempted to make thread 'How NOT to Make Your Husband happy' loll jokin ;)
Reply

FollowingAlhuda
12-21-2006, 08:32 PM
Originally Posted by Jayda
hola,

shouldnt a lot of these be considered common sense?

gracias

It's just a reminder!
And something that our religion recomands an supports.
Reply

Tania
12-21-2006, 08:33 PM
Originally Posted by Muslimah_Sis
tempted to make thread 'How to Not Make Your Husband happy' loll jokin ;)
Do it please and leave the bro to post what makes them unhappy :)
Reply

Jayda
12-21-2006, 08:36 PM
Originally Posted by FollowingAlhuda
It's just a reminder!
And something that our religion recomands an supports.

gracias,

i think what i am asking is does islam define the wife and husband roles in a marriage to that degree of precision or is this common sense applied to a general islamic principle about a wife and husband in marriage?

gracias
Reply

- Qatada -
12-21-2006, 09:17 PM
Hola Jayda.


These principles give tips to the wife, and similarly there are other tips for husbands to be a good wife/husband because things differ according to ones culture, and if ones society goes against the faith, the person doesn't go with the flow, but rather they turn back to their faith and follow its principles instead. A person can only realise these principles by turning back to the prophetic way.

Otherwise the person doesn't have a solid foundation to turn back to.



Peace.
Reply

FollowingAlhuda
12-21-2006, 09:21 PM
Originally Posted by Fi_Sabilillah
Hola Jayda.


These principles give tips to the wife, and similarly there are other tips for husbands to be a good wife/husband because things differ according to ones culture, and if ones society goes against the faith, the person doesn't go with the flow, but rather they turn back to their faith and follow its principles instead. A person can only realise these principles by turning back to the prophetic way.

Otherwise the person doesn't have a solid foundation to turn back to.



Peace.
Thanks bro, for explaining.

My English is a 0
Reply

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