PDA

View Full Version : Feeling love!



Umm Safiya
01-08-2006, 06:58 PM
:sl:

This is from a sister:
Is it ok to love a brother for the sake of Allah? I mean, if you don't know the person at all, you've never met him, spoken to him, just.. read what he writes.. & you can just think: Masha'Allah, I wanna marry a dude like him..
& not tell him of course.. Just keeping it to yourself.. Is that okay?
And it's not like I'm in love or feel attracted to him at all.. It's like, he has soo much knowledge, and the way he replies is so good, masha'Allah.. So is it okay to love him for the sake of Allah?

Can you answer this for the sister plz.. Jazak Allâhu khayr..

:w:
Reply

Login/Register to hide ads. Scroll down for more posts
aamirsaab
01-08-2006, 07:09 PM
:sl:
Suppose so. I mean I love my family - don't mean i'm gonna marry them. ;D
It's fine to admire characteristics.
Reply

- Qatada -
01-08-2006, 07:18 PM
:wasalamex


Remember i'm not a scholar or anything so dont take my word for it 100%.


But i think its not allowed, because any form of love for a person outside of marriage, or someone whos not a mahram may be haraam.

Referring to what the sister said - it might even start off that she likes his replies, but at the same time shes saying things like she 'wants to marry a guy like him.' So this is kinda showing that shes getting attracted to his personality, or the way he acts - this can lead to haraam acts and she may want to get to know him more personally, this is a natural feeling in a human being, but at the same time - islam is totally against it because shaytan will try his best to cause fitnah (temptations/tribulations) in any way, even if its through permissible means (e.g islamic forums, islamic unity conventions etc.) Thats why islam is totally against the intermingling of non mahrams.


Allaah subhanahu wa ta'aala says in the qur'an:

And go not nigh to fornication; surely it is an indecency and an evil way. (17:32)


So Allaah subhanahu wa ta'aala is ordering us not to even go near fornification (illegal sex) and its obvious that the majority of cases like these have started off from something 'innocent'.


You have to think into the reality of it - can she really love that man for the sake of Allaah azwajal if loving a non mahram is hated in islam?

If she really wants to get closer, then she can do it the halaal way and that is by proposing for marriage, but she shouldn't just keep admiring the guy if theres not a chance of them getting married.


If she cant get married to this guy, then it may be better that she gets married to someone else, someone else who may be pious so she doesn't fall into temptations. At the same time - if she knows she cant get married to this guy - then the best way may be for her to leave that place where she sees what he says etc.

Otherwise - the more she keeps seeing his 'replies' - the more she'll tell herself that she likes him, which will put her in a worser situation as time passes by. So the best way is to escape before she goes any deeper..



wa Allaahu a'lam. (and Allaah subhanahu wa ta'aala knows best.)


:salamext:
Reply

aamirsaab
01-08-2006, 07:32 PM
:sl:
Good point bro. It is upto the sister involved now, as with any decision, it must be made by the individual. Jus don't do anything stupid and you'll be fine, well if Allah wills :)
Reply

Welcome, Guest!
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up
akulion
01-08-2006, 07:38 PM
just marry the guy :D
Reply

Tasneem
01-08-2006, 08:21 PM
Yes,its okay to love for the sake of Allah




SaLaMz
Reply

Ummu Amatullah
01-08-2006, 08:34 PM
Originally Posted by Ms. Amira
:sl:

This is from a sister:
Is it ok to love a brother for the sake of Allah? I mean, if you don't know the person at all, you've never met him, spoken to him, just.. read what he writes.. & you can just think: Masha'Allah, I wanna marry a dude like him..
& not tell him of course.. Just keeping it to yourself.. Is that okay?
And it's not like I'm in love or feel attracted to him at all.. It's like, he has soo much knowledge, and the way he replies is so good, masha'Allah.. So is it okay to love him for the sake of Allah?

Can you answer this for the sister plz.. Jazak Allâhu khayr..

:w:
Asallama Alaikum sis it's okay if it's just a thought or a feeling,and if you don't end up in something haram.When I read about the Prophet Muhammad(pbuh)I hope that I married or marry someone like him too you know the character Mash'Allah it's just so beautiful.
Reply

akulion
01-08-2006, 08:38 PM
Ok since I recieved rep points for my post now I feel I must give a thorough psycho-analysis of this situation....

This is from a sister:
un huh yes..ofcourse (lol)

Is it ok to love a brother for the sake of Allah? I mean, if you don't know the person at all, you've never met him, spoken to him, just.. read what he writes.. & you can just think: Masha'Allah
yes of course you can love him for the sake of Allah based upon the way he represents the deen in his writings

, I wanna marry a dude like him..
"a dude like him...." well in life there are billions of individuals..and here he is the one you like and yet you wana find one 'like him' and not him....sounds like an excuse to me. The sis should go for him if possible,,,after all opportunity dosent knock twice!

& not tell him of course.. Just keeping it to yourself.. Is that okay?
Well this could lead to personal agony because you have been attracted to the brother through his knowledge for the deen and will contiunue to admire him for this.....but ofcourse teling him may lead to bad stuff like romance etc etc so its best you keep it to yourself if you dont want to pursue marriage with him.

And it's not like I'm in love or feel attracted to him at all.. It's like, he has soo much knowledge, and the way he replies is so good, masha'Allah.. So is it okay to love him for the sake of Allah?
I think it is enough that he has good knowledge and good character for you to be attracted to him...after all if you know this person personally then it may be advisable to tell the imam of the mosque

Can you answer this for the sister plz.. Jazak Allâhu khayr..
yes of course...the sister :D (lol)
Reply

Snowflake
01-08-2006, 08:57 PM
The trouble with admiring someone so much without even knowing anything about them is that you end up putting them on a pedestal, when they might not even be worthy of it. If you don't get that person, you end up comparing everyone else to them and end up never feeling satisfied.

I would tell the sis not to be taken in by someone's ability to compose a good piece of writing. After all.. All that glitters is not Gold.
Reply

Takumi
01-09-2006, 12:01 AM
Originally Posted by Ms. Amira
:sl:

This is from a sister:
Is it ok to love a brother for the sake of Allah? I mean, if you don't know the person at all, you've never met him, spoken to him, just.. read what he writes.. & you can just think: Masha'Allah, I wanna marry a dude like him..
& not tell him of course.. Just keeping it to yourself.. Is that okay?
And it's not like I'm in love or feel attracted to him at all.. It's like, he has soo much knowledge, and the way he replies is so good, masha'Allah.. So is it okay to love him for the sake of Allah?

Can you answer this for the sister plz.. Jazak Allâhu khayr..

:w:
Love for the sake of Allah means that your love for him/her must not lead you to do impermissible acts.

You may love Bozo the Clown if you wish as long as you don't act upon your lust.

Remember, Allah gives reward for good intentions and then reward us again if we carry out that intention. But Allah will not give bad points for bad intentions until we carry them out.

Your intention is pure. You must thank Allah because you have the sense to admire someone whom you believe is a pious person. Some other people they just admire anyone, from Justin Timberlake to Beyonce Knowles.

Khadijah admired the prophet, hence she proposed and we know the rest of the story. There's nothing wrong in admiring someone.

Unless of course, your infatuation makes you remember him than Allah in your solah, now.. that's gonna be a major issue.
Reply

edil
01-09-2006, 12:22 AM
Its okay to love someone for the sake of Allah but dont let satan but you in a trap.
Reply

Umm Safiya
01-09-2006, 03:10 AM
:sl:

Lol akulion you crack me up.. How you not gon believe me when I say it's from a sister!
anyways, barak allâhu fikum for ur replies! :D

:w:
Reply

- Qatada -
01-09-2006, 03:50 PM
:wasalamex


Sister, i just want to remind you of this hadith: (keep a close eye on the wording)


Our beloved Prophet Muhammad sal Allaahu alayhi waSalam said:

“If a man loves his brother in faith, he should tell him that he loves him.”[Abu Dawud]


So if a person loves someone else for the sake of Allaah subhanahu wa ta'aala, they should say that to the person they love right? At the same time - within the hadith, Rasool Allaah sal Allaahu alayhi waSalam mentions that if a 'man' loves his 'brother in faith' (this can apply eg. brother to brother or sister to sister) but its not mentioned that they should say it to the opposite gender does it?

So if she 'loves the brother for the sake of Allaah azwajal' then she cant mention it to him anyway, so what is the actual purpose of that love she has for the guy?


Please tell the sister to think about that insha Allaah..


wa Allaahu a'lam.


:salamext:
Reply

Umm Safiya
01-09-2006, 04:16 PM
:sl:

Barak Allâhu fik akhee..
The sister don't wanna tell him, that she loves him for the sake of Allâh, she just feels that way, and not in a romantic way..
In the first post, where the sister wrote: Masha'Allah, I wanna marry a dude like him.. That wasn't meant like; omg i have to marry him, im so in love etc. but it is meant like, she wants to marry a guy like him = a guy with alot of knowledge..

Khayr inshâ'Allâh..
Fi amânallâh..

:w:
Reply

sapphire
01-09-2006, 04:24 PM
bro akulion do u know something we dont???? ;)

Inshallah the information given will be helpfull to the sister......May Allah reward you for helping her.....Ameen!!!!!!
Reply

Takumi
01-09-2006, 04:25 PM
Originally Posted by Fi_Sabilillah
:wasalamex

So if she 'loves the brother for the sake of Allaah azwajal' then she cant mention it to him anyway, so what is the actual purpose of that love she has for the guy?
She's just being human. To love someone is a natural feeling that Allah has given to all of us. Islam gives guidance how to channel this love properly.

Even if a man loves his brother, in today's manic society, that "I love you" statement has been reserved for couples of the opposite sex.

You tell a brother, "I love you" you always have to justify it, "for the sake of Allah". If not he's gonna think you're gay. Even if you're not.

Let the sister have this love for this brother and remind her not to be obsessed with him.

For example, always trying to see whether he's currently online, always reading his posts only and even if his posts sucks, she roots for him, and whenever she's all by herself she imagines being with this guy and if you tell him that, well, I don't think he's a great guy, she's not gonna get offended. And she's always online just to "see" his posts.

These above symptoms show that she's obsessed with this guy and it will be of her best interest to cut it down a bit.

Obsession is not good unless it's the Calvein Klein EDT.
Reply

*shamz*
01-09-2006, 04:48 PM
salaamz
all the feelings towards the person mean love as in to marry someone .this person does act in this manner to tri to be a good slave of allah and he is not doing it for u to fall in love with him. love shudn't come and take ova ur umma before marriage.
Reply

Umm Safiya
01-09-2006, 04:59 PM
Originally Posted by Takumi
For example, always trying to see whether he's currently online, always reading his posts only and even if his posts sucks, she roots for him, and whenever she's all by herself she imagines being with this guy and if you tell him that, well, I don't think he's a great guy, she's not gonna get offended. And she's always online just to "see" his posts.

These above symptoms show that she's obsessed with this guy and it will be of her best interest to cut it down a bit.

Obsession is not good unless it's the Calvein Klein EDT.
:sl:

Lol, it's not like that at all.. It's not an obsession.. She just thinks this brother knows alot, from what she reads, she can see(she thinks) he has a good uslûb and that's it.. She doesn't feel romantic feelings.. It's like she is proud to have him as a brother in Islâm, she loves him for the sake of Allâh, and nothing more than that.. She isn't in love or obessed or anything like that..

:w:
Reply

shanu
01-09-2006, 05:01 PM
Assalamu alaikum Ms Amira :)
Well according to me, i wouldnt call that love, its admiration. And for an example, i am sure that every woman admires the Prophet Mohammed Pbuh for his fine qualities and all would want to be married to someone like him. There is nothing wrong in admiration, as long as its not a crush or love for his face body and so on. So its entirely ok, everyone admires people in some point of their life. Its just a part of being human. But as long as the person does not have the wrong intention with that guy. Afterall, we are all judged by our intentions. Since he's very knowledgable, he must be a good influence, try to learn as much as you can and share the knowledge with us. I hope my advice is good enough, take care dear sis and smile always---->;D
Reply

*charisma*
01-09-2006, 06:50 PM
Assalamu Alaikum

I think people are getting mixed up a bit here.

It is ok to love anyone for the sake of Allah. As an Ummah we have to love eachother for the sake of Allah. Meaning we must care for eachother, help eacother, brotherhood and sisterhood type things and so on. This does NOT include worldly pleasures. So if you have lustful feelings towards someone, this is not "loving for the sake of Allah."

The following hadiths elaborate how it is rewarding to love for the sake of Allah:

"Allah shall ask on the Day of Judgement, ' Where are those who loved for the sake of my Greatness? Today when there is no shade save Mine, I shall have them in My Shade.'" (Sahih Muslim: Kitab al Birr wa al Silah)
Abu Idris Khulani, one of the most famous tabi'in says that once he visited Ma'adh ibn Jabal in the mosque of Damascus and told him that "By Allah I love you for the sake of Allah." He repeatedly asked me to swear if it was so and when I answered in affirmative every time, he pulled me by my shawl and said, "Hear the good news! I have heard the exalted and blessed Messenger of Allah saying that "My love shall certainly be for those who love each other for my sake, who sit in each other's company for my sake, who go to meet each other for my sake and spend money on each other for my sake." (Muvatta Imam Malik, Kitab-al-Shi'r)
In Islam, we have to know our limits to 'love'. Loving for the sake of Allah for the opposite member is purely fine. Its just u have to make sure that its for the sake of Allah and not for anything else.

Masha'Allah, I wanna marry a dude like him..
& not tell him of course.. Just keeping it to yourself.. Is that okay?
And it's not like I'm in love or feel attracted to him at all.. It's like, he has soo much knowledge, and the way he replies is so good, masha'Allah.. So is it okay to love him for the sake of Allah?

Can you answer this for the sister plz.. Jazak Allâhu khayr..
I believe thats ok, reason being these are natural feelings that you have no control over and you are keeping them personal, but like it was said before..dont become obessessed. Its ok to admire, but not to obsess.

Oh and read this too :p inshallah that will help :)

fi aman Allah
w'salaam
Reply

sapphire
01-10-2006, 03:07 PM
Jazakallah for clearing that up...i guess i would still say to any bro that i luv them for Allah's sake.....
Reply

Muezzin
01-11-2006, 07:23 PM
Originally Posted by Ms. Amira
:sl:

This is from a sister:
Is it ok to love a brother for the sake of Allah? I mean, if you don't know the person at all, you've never met him, spoken to him, just.. read what he writes.. & you can just think: Masha'Allah, I wanna marry a dude like him..
& not tell him of course.. Just keeping it to yourself.. Is that okay?
And it's not like I'm in love or feel attracted to him at all.. It's like, he has soo much knowledge, and the way he replies is so good, masha'Allah.. So is it okay to love him for the sake of Allah?

Can you answer this for the sister plz.. Jazak Allâhu khayr..

:w:
Just tell my parents and we'll tie the knot like a berserk sailor.

...I'm joking. I know you're probably talking about zAk the stud or someone. :p

(this post is meant in jest. Please take it as such or lighten up. :))
Reply

Muhammad
01-11-2006, 08:32 PM
:sl:

I would like to remind members of the following forum rule:

18. Do not say "Islam says X" unless your position is based upon sound evidence - which means the Qur'an and the Sunnah. Always cite your sources. If quoting the Qur'an, give suroorat (chapter) and ayah (verse) number. For ahadeeth, you must the name of the collection, volume/book number and hadeeth number. Unless you quoting from an agreed-upon authenthic collection (i.e. Bukharee, Muslim) you must also provide authenthic information.
Therefore please take care in the advice you give, and members asking for advice are reminded to be careful of what they accept.

Jazakallaahu Khayr,

:w:
Reply

netprince
01-08-2007, 03:21 PM
Love is good....

....Results of 'love' may not always be quite as good

Personally, i think theres nothing wrong with admiring someones knowledge and character. However, when its someone of the opposite sex, then its probably better to not say anything. Unless the intention is for marriage in which case........

Another thing to remember is that people in forums and in the "Cyber" world aren't always the same as in the real world. A person might come across as being one thing when in reality they are something completely different.

The only advice i would give is to 'listen' to the heart, if the heart is sound then it wont lead you astray. If it feels wrong then it probably is wrong. I'm sure most people in this forum have experienced what i am talking about. When you are doing wrong the heart tells you this doesnt feel right.

May Allah(SWT) guide us all on the right path.
Reply

FollowingAlhuda
01-08-2007, 06:40 PM
I agree with netprince,

The most are very diffrent in real live! Wa Allaho a3lem. But when it comes to admiring because ofhis Islamic point of few, i don't think he's gonna act diffrent about that.

But if you think this little love that you got could lead to fitnah, try to avoid it. Because it begins innocent.

Wa Allaho a3lem, is there a fatwa about this?

Wassalam
Reply

Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 1
    Last Post: 01-25-2012, 02:54 AM
  2. Replies: 27
    Last Post: 09-13-2010, 12:44 PM
  3. Replies: 7
    Last Post: 11-26-2008, 04:49 PM
  4. Replies: 34
    Last Post: 07-14-2008, 04:07 AM
  5. Replies: 4
    Last Post: 06-29-2006, 01:59 AM

IslamicBoard

Experience a richer experience on our mobile app!