How NOT to be TOO emotional

[Takumi]

:sl:

I've come across posts that have smileys, multiple question marks, all caps and multiple exclamation marks. This clearly shows that some of us really put our emotions in our posts.

While others can be so stoic and not show their true emotions by smileys, they show it with sarcasm and words that subconsciously scratch fellow members' hearts to bits. [like someone I KNOW. :happy:

If you have any tips (I mean tips, not psychobabble like Allah is watching you, the hadeeth says this and that) please post them here. Those are information. We know that already, if you have to post the Quran/hadeeth, please try your best to also write how to apply them.

Honestly, I've seen some seasoned members' posts that did not escape outburts of emotions.

Thanks.

[Takumi]

Well, let me be the first one.

I try to make a sense of humor out of it. Well, sometimes members write some really straight forward posts, for example words like STOP WHINING.

This, if you look at it in real life, you can either say it in a soft melodic way or stern fatherlike-figure way. Since, it appears on your computer screen, YOU have to choose how it's said.

Peace.

[swanlake]

:sl:

Nothing is wrong with being emotional. After all we are not made of stones. Keep in mind also that there are few young teenagers on this board.

[Takumi]

Perfect! Let see the example above.^

The post was written without any smileys (that's good, because assuming that she's responding to me, and I'm a guy, we don't want to be smiling to each other in real life, now, would we?).

Read the post and tell me, how many ways can you read it?

(1) I can take it as a diss to this thread.
(2) I can take it as an opinion, which she has all the rights to voice.

If I take it as (1), I'd probably say:

"If you don't have any tips, just get out!!!!!!! I know we're not made of stone, but having emotional diarrhea and not thinking while posting usually leads to unnecessary squabble!!!"

If I take it as (2), I'd say:

"Thank you.Your opinion is duly noted."

I'm actually responding to her opinion not the POSSIBILITY of how she wrote it. That, we gotta leave it to Allah and her intentions.

oh ya, Thank you.

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[Khaldun]

:sl:

If you have any tips (I mean tips, not psychobabble like Allah is watching you, the hadeeth says this and that) please post them here. Those are information. We know that already,

And why not? What is wrong with that? Isnt this an Islamic Forum? I am far away from knowing it all, I am here to learn aswell (as long as its based upon solid evidence)

[Takumi]

:sl:

And why not? What is wrong with that? Isnt this an Islamic Forum? I am far away from knowing it all, I am here to learn aswell (as long as its based upon solid evidence)

Perfect! Thanks.

There's nothing wrong with it. Just give us the Quranic verses and you can, tell/show us how to practise it. :happy:

[Muezzin]

I use these smileys so people know I'm joking. The one or two times I've told a 'joke' here without a smiley, people get all offended and start calling me kafir and stuff. Hence: :p

You're right though, Brother Takumi, it is often difficult to gauge the emotion of a member just by reading the words of their post. In that respect, smileys and exclamation marks help to communicate the spirit in which the message is being given.

That said, there are some really silly smileys. Take the 'Offended' one for example.

:offended:

I mean, what the heck is that? It looks like a burnt tomato.

[Sahabiyaat]

:uhwhat oh so thats what this is about

[Musaafirah]

:sl:
i personally thought that emoticon looked like a bomb thing..:?
so does that mean i'm not allowed to look confuzzled? :confused:
:w:

[Takumi]

Next tip.

Do you have text to speech program in your computer?

If you do, close your eyes and let the computer read the post for you. Computers don't put emotions in their reading. It'll simply read the post as monotonous as ever. So, your judgment won't be cloudy.

[Muezzin]

:sl:
i personally thought that emoticon looked like a bomb thing..:?

So, when you're offended, you look like a bomb? You're Muslim too? That's racial profiling! :p

so does that mean i'm not allowed to look confuzzled? :confused:
:w:

I think that one looks more like the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz, but then, I'm strange.

[sapphire]

;D burnt tomato...ah i dnt use smileys much but have strated to..n yeah see the point....just am lazy....

[Muezzin]

Next tip.

Do you have text to speech program in your computer?

If you do, close your eyes and let the computer read the post for you. Computers don't put emotions in their reading. It'll simply read the post as monotonous as ever. So, your judgment won't be cloudy.

Microsoft Sam is the computer's default voice, as well as my homey.

[afriend]

When some1 says something 2 u wich is true, u just gotta accept it, like Bro Takumi said

"stop whining" (which he actually said to me)

I just took the bullet and said to him

"true"

But some people wud have called him all sorts of names, cos they're too sensitive!

Stop being so emotional, if u go 2 any forum, u will have to be prepared to get oppsed and being said stuff straight, So if u cant take this then please leave, u will have a lot of trobles being here

[Takumi]

Muezzin's post is a perfect example of a post that is emotionally balanced.

All the question marks are appropriately placed, [multiple question mark, can be deduced as; "what the ***"] and comas to reflect on his pauses when he's talking and there's no exclamation marks at all. That showed that he's cool and very lighthearted.

Multiple exclamation marks show high intensity emotions.

Observe:

(1) Who do you think you are?
(2) Who do you think you are???????
(3) Who do you think you are?!!!!!!!!
(4) WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE???????
(5) WHO THE HECK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?????????????

Which of those sentences will make you feel more offended? [the sentence is already minimally demeaning].

[Musaafirah]

So, when you're offended, you look like a bomb? You're Muslim too? That's racial profiling! :p

i'm shocked at ur unfound accusation :o...(actually i'm not..letz pretend i am..)
I think that one looks more like the Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz, but then, I'm strange.

and again..thanx for the insult..rub salt in the wound :?
though i must say..i neva hav a question mark flying by my face :confused:

[Takumi]

Microsoft Sam is the computer's default voice, as well as my homey.

Of course being a Mac user, Text to speech is embedded. I use Zarvox. Cool sound. :p

[Musaafirah]

Muezzin's post is a perfect example of a post that is emotionally balanced.

All the question marks are appropriately placed, [multiple question mark, can be deduced as; "what the ***"] and comas to reflect on his pauses when he's talking and there's no exclamation marks at all. That showed that he's cool and very lighthearted.

Multiple exclamation marks show high intensity emotions.

Observe:

(1) Who do you think you are?
(2) Who do you think you are???????
(3) Who do you think you are?!!!!!!!!
(4) WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE???????
(5) WHO THE HECK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?????????????

Which of those sentences will make you feel more offended? [the sentence is already minimally demeaning].

err..why do u feel the need to repeat urself? :giggling:

[Takumi]

err..why do u feel the need to repeat urself? :giggling:

Those were examples of how one cay type the same sentences the same way.

[Muezzin]

Muezzin's post is a perfect example of a post that is emotionally balanced.

You are so getting reps for that when the system lets me.

And let that be a lesson to all of you. Be nice and get reps. You scratch my back, I scratch yours with reputation points or something.

[Silver Pearl]

Wa Alaykum Salam Warahmatullahi wabarakatuh,

Majority of posts tend to include emoticons because it aids the reader to distinguish the tone in which the post is written in. You find that only posts that include lay back topics include these emoticons. Debates and discussions rarely ever have posts where emoticons are used frequently for the reason that the text is written in a formal manner.

Now to say that using emoticon is expressing emotional attachment or perhaps emotional involvement in the issue is inaccurate.

For example if I use the smiling emoticon, I do not use it because I’m smiling at the person but rather it is a neutral and genuine gratitude or whatever, depending on the context.

We are to speak to fellow Muslims with kind words and in a manner that Allah (swt) has made lawful. One should try and refrain from saying things that can be perceived to being harsh or cold. Of course it is not always easy to spot our own errors and filter what could be seen as being offensive by other members but we should try to show some compassion. Sarcasm isn’t spotted in forums and thus making it difficult to express without being aided by the help of these emoticons.

To a certain extent it is important to have them, after all not all the topics here are about in-depth discussions, constant obtaining and expressing intellectual discussions.

Love for your brother what you love for yourself.


Wa Allahu'3llim

[Takumi]

Wa Alaykum Salam Warahmatullahi wabarakatuh,

Majority of posts tend to include emoticons because it aids the reader to distinguish the tone in which the post is written in. You find that only posts that include lay back topics include these emoticons. Debates and discussions rarely ever have posts where emoticons are used frequently for the reason that the text is written in a formal manner.

Now to say that using emoticon is expressing emotional attachment or perhaps emotional involvement in the issue is inaccurate.

For example if I use the smiling emoticon, I do not use it because I’m smiling at the person but rather it is a neutral and genuine gratitude or whatever, depending on the context.

We are to speak to fellow Muslims with kind words and in a manner that Allah (swt) has made lawful. One should try and refrain from saying things that can be perceived to being harsh or cold. Of course it is not always easy to spot our own errors and filter what could be seen as being offensive by other members but we should try to show some compassion.

Love for your brother what you love for yourself.

Wa Allahu'3llim

Thank you for your contribution.

The word that it's used, "perceived" is a responsibility of the reader. While it's really hard to be neutral, it can be done. All we need is patience and going back to the roots of forum etiquettes.

For example:

(1) Keep your labeling dogma to yourself.
(2) Keep your labeling dogma to yourself!!!
(3) KEEP YOUR LABELLING DOGMA TO YOURSELF!!!
(4) KEEP YOUR IDIOTIC LABELING DOGMA TO YOUR MORONIC SELF!!!!!!!

Sentence (1) Is just a sincere advice to keep your labelling dogma to yourself. True, there are many other ways that the meaning of this sentence may be conveyed, that's not the case here. We are responding to a sentence that has been written. We just need to learn how to differentiate between personal attacks and valid critique of the views.The reader has all the power to decide where this sentence is personal or is referring to a quality that is acquired.

What other ways may (1) be written?

(a) Sister, can you please keep your labeling dogma to yourself?
(b) Please keep your labeling dogma to yourself, sister.
(c) Please honey,keep your labeling dogma to your sweetself.
(d) Please honey sweetie pie, don't label anyone okay, I'll get you some candy!

All these choices are the choice of the writer. If the writer doesn't write it that way, too bad. We don't get everything that we want.

(2) and the rests are just inflammatory and unwarranted. (4) is basically out of line

[Takumi]

You are so getting reps for that when the system lets me.

And let that be a lesson to all of you. Be nice and get reps. You scratch my back, I scratch yours with reputation points or something.

:w: How did you know about my ulterior motive? :p

[- Qatada -]

:salamext:


Lets just keep this hadith in mind:

"Those who have no mercy on other human beings, will not receive the mercy of Allah." (Sahih Bukhari & Muslim)


:wasalamex

[swanlake]

:salamext:


Lets just keep this hadith in mind:

"Those who have no mercy on other human beings, will not receive the mercy of Allah." (Sahih Bukhari & Muslim)


:wasalamex

:sl:

Wonderful Hadith. One we should all keep in mind when replying to posters. It really doesnt cost much.

[*charisma*]

Assalamu Alaikum

(d) Please honey sweetie pie, don't label anyone okay, I'll get you some candy!

WHAT A SENTENCE!!!!!!!! <<howd u interpret that? HOW'D U INTERPRET THAT??!!!

lol, sorry that was fun..

on a serious note, Jazak Allah khair.

I have been thinking about lessening the smileys in my posts (Inshallah) after i saw that on another forum they werent used. No matter what, we need to all speak straight forward to any human being. Using smileys or not is not the case, but rather what each sentence says.

If it is interpreted wrong, it is not in the author's blame, but rather the readers. If a reader take something too personally or judges another member soley upon those words, then most likely he is reflecting upon his own image subhanallah.

I think smileys are used for a variety of different reasons:

1) poster is too lazy to use punctuation
e.g. OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:eek: omg!

2) people want to show their light heartedness towards another member as fear of offending them, or to add more depth into their words such as sarcasm

3) when they arent used, usually the members are in their "wisdom" state, they are speaking from their knowledge point of view and are in deep thought and might not be taking the subject as an "emotional" topic

4) people are just weird lol..so Allahu A'lem

fi aman Allah
w'salaam

[Takumi]

Next tip [trust me, after being called a bully, idiotic, moronic, paranoid, foolish, westernized], I think I'd have the credentials. :D

Posts are opinions. Well, most of them are. In this forum, we acknowledge that our arguments must be based on facts. There are no other facts more solid that the Quran and Sunnah, and ijma' or qiyaas of the scholars.

But, Islam is universal. Allah has used many adjectives to describe how human being should be. tazakkaroon, tadabbaroon, ta'qiloon are all verbs that tell us that we ought to see and ponder. [excuse the transliteration, my keyboard doesn't have arabic letters].

So, when you see a post that is devoid of Quran and Sunnah [trust me, cutting and paste, don't do justice], please don't jump on the brother and sister and ask for it.

If you're really concerned about the proof, rather than asking them for it, try searching it for yourself and then, say:

"I've been very exhaustive in my search, but I cannot find anything to convince me of your post. Can you give me your proof?" rather than,

"Is it haraam? Is it halaal?" "Brother, where's your proof?"

I've clearly stated my views on the 5 rules on responsibility for a muslim. You may open any book on Usoolul Fiqh [if you don't want to be dictated by a flimsy scholar, like me :p] and you will find these facts.

Peace

[Shadow]

:sl:

WHO THE HECK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE????!!!!!!! :mad:

KEEP YOUR IDIOTIC LABELING DOGMA TO YOUR MORONIC SELF!!!!!!! :mad:

^emotional diarrhea lol :p

anyways bro Takumi nice thread started

and ill give tips to reduce your emotion online

1.if u ever hate someone, punch a brick wall till u bleed or forget about that person, then forgive him/her or it :p

2.if u ever feel too sad about someone insulting u then do what i do and play games such as
"one on one kung fu death match"
"last one to reach the end line gets no cookies"
etc.

well kids thats all the lessons for today

:brother:

[Takumi]

Hey!!! shadow!! I'd PM you this message but that's exactly what I'm talkin' bout bro!!

If half of the members here are as funny as you are sans the overflowing of emoticons, I'll be like, wow....on cloud 9 maybe? :p

Nice tip, but do you have proof for that from the Quran and sunnah? :heated:

[Shadow]

Nice tip, but do you have proof for that from the Quran and sunnah? :heated:

D'oh!

[swanlake]

:sl:

It is emparative that posters provide evidence from the Quran and sunnah if they are providing an answer. The onus is on them and not on others. No one should take other's words for granted if they dont provide references.

[Halima]

:sl:


Please use other knowledgeable means such as a scholar, Imam or knowledgeable person in your area or provide sources.


I agree with you sister because what if someone doesn't provide the sources then how can we know if the answer provided is truly correct? It is vital to provide sources or just don't answer the question at all if you don't know it.



:w:

[Muezzin]

Very true, sisters. Except both Takumi and Shadow were joking ;)

Another useless smiley: :hiding:

If that smiley is an accurate representation of 'hiding', Bin Laden must be in a coma by now.

But seriously... I really like this thread, and I hope everyone takes heed of what Takumi's trying to say.

[Takumi]

What is the proof from Quran and sunnah that it's even halaal to get involved in this forum? :p

[Halima]

What is the proof from Quran and sunnah that it's even halaal to get involved in this forum? :p

There is no verse in the Quran that literally says that "its okay to be involved in the forums its not haraam"! per say.... It's just that we have to conduct ourselves in a conservative manner especailly when we talk to the opposite sex. A sister or a brother using a smiley is like her using her expression or her smiling to the person she is talking to. This will make you think will she do that in real life? Then again, we are not allowed to free mix and that's anywhere based on Islamic standards.

[Takumi]

Next tip:

How to intelligently respond without sounding intelligent.

Here's an example.

"What I do in my own time is my business not YOURS. YOU are the one who read that post, so YOU can babysit your psyche and spank it and give it time out".

How do we intelligently respond to this post?

The all caps YOU shows that there is a specific reader that the member is trying to address. If you are the member [most probably the responder was attacked personally by an unscrupulous member], calm down and read, and re read.

There's nothing wrong to specify whom the post is addressed to. Unless you use your emotions to read that post, you'll be fine. Most frequently, many members have this "imaginary" member in their head talking to them. Subsconcsiously, they imagine this member talking to them in a "in-your-face" style and they just can't handle it, even though there's no one there!

This is taking imaginary friend syndrome to another level.

You can either:

(1) Agree to his points. Because, he's right, his time is his business. and you are the one who chose to read his post so you got to be ready to swallow everything that he said. If you're not, then forum is just not for you. I, personally, dislike babysitting other people's emotional fart.

(2) Disagree to his points and refute HIS POINTS not him. Yes, it's his time is his business, but you're just advising him to be more courteous and have some finesse in his posts. Calling him a bully, westernized, paranoid, idiotic and moronic will only show that your emotions is uncontrollable and you're probably shaking with anger. You lost.

(3) That's why I like forums. We have the liberty to write and delete. Here's how.

Write everything that you want. Even use the words that are nonsensical, rude, cuss, anything. DON'T CLICK SUBMIT YET!. Then leave it. Go and make wudhu' and then come back.

Read your own post. ALOUD. Then ask yourself.

Is this really me?

Do I really want to call him a bully, flimsy scholar, stupid, idiot, moron and foolish?

Do I have anything against him or HIS POST?

Those are the questions that your parents can't answer for you.

My motto is simple. CLICK SUBMIT AT YOUR OWN RISK

[Takumi]

There is no verse in the Quran that literally says that "its okay to be involved in the forums its not haraam"! per say.... It's just that we have to conduct ourselves in a conservative manner especailly when we talk to the opposite sex. Then again, we are not allowed to free mix and that's anywhere based on Islamic standards.

Exactly! Thank you.

That is why I say, you can't ask for proofs from the Quran all the time. Does that mean that the Quran is incomplete? God forbid!

Jurists DERIVED many fatwa from Al Quran due to its clarity (muhkamaat) and AMBIGUITY (mutashaabihaat). Since I don't have a cut and paste program, maybe you guys can help me out. It's one of the first verses of Soorah Ali Imraan.

Honestly, if I post, "Macintosh is the BEST computer", I'll be stumped if someone asks me, "where's your daleel from the Quran and Sunnah brozer?"

Look, we talk about daleel in forums only. Do you honestly believe that people may quote those adillah OFF HAND if someone asks them on the street? Unless you're an ESTEEMED scholar, I don't think ANYONE in this forum or any other forum for that matter is able to do that.

How many people can quote the verses, of why we make wudhu' in such a way? [no, you can't cut and paste while walking down the streets, can you?] :p

[aZn_pLayGurL]

SaLaaMz so wat basically is this post abwt... lolzz...

HoW NoT 2 B EmOTIONaL??? ill tel ju just sMiLe sMiLe sMilE sMilE SmILe n sMiLe sMilE sMilE SmILE SmILe sMiLe n sMiLe some more LOLZZZ it works 4 me all the tym :):):)

[Halima]

SaLaaMz so wat basically is this post abwt... lolzz...

HoW NoT 2 B EmOTIONaL??? ill tel ju just sMiLe sMiLe sMilE sMilE SmILe n sMiLe sMilE sMilE SmILE SmILe sMiLe n sMiLe some more LOLZZZ it works 4 me all the tym :):):)

You may do that with other sisters which fine but the real question is would you do that with the brothers? without getting so hypothetical here I just wanted you to keep that in the back of your mind. Let me know your views on it. I'm very much interested to hear.

[aZn_pLayGurL]

Well with anything and any1 am alwayz smiling as long as myself and ALLAH no that itz not in the wrong way its just to be brave and not be emotional then itz all good wat ju sayn :D:D:D

[Halima]

Exactly! Thank you.

That is why I say, you can't ask for proofs from the Quran all the time. Does that mean that the Quran is incomplete? God forbid!

To substantiate whatever point we would like to present it is always credible to back it up with some evidence. Wether it be from the Quran wether it be from a newssource or even if it may be from an article. This will enable us to see if there statement is reall authentic or not. That is why if someone debates about something and he wants to make a point the first thing the dabatee will ask is where is your source? How will i know if it is authentic or not if you cannot present to me the proof?

Honestly, if I post, "Macintosh is the BEST computer", I'll be stumped if someone asks me, "where's your daleel from the Quran and Sunnah brozer?"

Yeah but this is just an opinon. It is not someone claiming it to be a 'fact' or a down right statement insisting that it is true. Someone opinionated does not have to prove their point.

How many people can quote the verses, of why we make wudhu' in such a way? [no, you can't cut and paste while walking down the streets, can you?] :p

There is no difference between the 'virtual' world and the real world. In the real world how many scholars do you have teaching other muslims by the quran? same thing here we have some sheikhs and scholars online and they all pick out a quote from the quran to prove their point. so I don't see the difference.

[Muezzin]

Yeah but this is just an opinon. It is not someone claiming it to be a 'fact' or a down right statement insisting that it is true. Someone opinionated does not have to prove their point.

There is no difference between the 'virtual' world and the real world. In the real world how many scholars do you have teaching other muslims by the quran? same thing here we have some sheikhs and scholars online and they all pick out a quote from the quran to prove their point. so I don't see the difference.

Ah, but isn't that just an opinion? An educated opinion, yes, but an opinion nontheless. There are differing schools of thought, which all stem from differences of opinion in interpreting the same sources.

DISCLAIMER: I'm not questioning the veracity of all scholars, or the Quran or Ahadith. I'm just being my usual cheeky self. And this is one of my only posts with absolutely no smileys. Amazing.

[Takumi]

To substantiate whatever point we would like to present it is always credible to back it up with some evidence. Wether it be from the Quran wether it be from a newssource or even if it may be from an article. This will enable us to see if there statement is reall authentic or not. That is why if someone debates about something and he wants to make a point the first thing the dabatee will ask is where is your source? How will i know if it is authentic or not if you cannot present to me the proof?

Yeah but this is just an opinon. It is not someone claiming it to be a 'fact' or a down right statement insisting that it is true. Someone opinionated does not have to prove their point.


There is no difference between the 'virtual' world and the real world. In the real world how many scholars do you have teaching other muslims by the quran? same thing here we have some sheikhs and scholars online and they all pick out a quote from the quran to prove their point. so I don't see the difference.

And YOUR evidence for all the mumbo jumbo above...IS? [unless you're opinionated, by your definition, you don't have to provide us the evidence, and trust me, I can live with that.]

[Muezzin]

Semantics rock!

My source for this opinion - this thread.

[Halima]

Ah, but isn't that just an opinion? An educated opinion, yes, but an opinion nontheless. There are differing schools of thought, which all stem from differences of opinion in interpreting the same sources.

Ah that's confusing! Nevertheless different 'schools' of thought indeed, because everyone has different opinons on various types of matter but the initial point that I was trying to make is that an opinion wether it be good or bad is just an opinon. Such as this by no means have to be substantiated with evidence. Now if I were to claim something as a fact and I soley insist that it is indeed a fact I will be bombarded with the question where is your source? When you will substantiate your evidence as such?

DISCLAIMER: And this is one of my only posts with absolutely no smileys. Amazing.

because you are talking to a female.

[Takumi]

Well, I beg differ [hmm..that does sound nicer rather than, your opinion stinks big time!!!!!], there is a difference between this virtual world and the world we live in.

For regular people like me, I'm not going to ask a sister or my friend, who wears the hijaab, "where's the proof that Allah wants you to wear hijaab?". No, you can't go home and look it up. I want it right now. If you don't have any proof, don't even tell me hijaab is waajib.

While here, is someone asks, many of us would be so enthusiastic in looking for the correct ayaat to CUT and PASTE. It's so obvious that even the translated version of the verses sound so corny and not in normal usage. [well, no offence to the translators, but I actually wanted to write to them and tell them, brozer, use normal English please! Quran needs to be understood not a tool for English's verbosity].

Of course, that's my opinion. No proof needed. And I'm proud of it.

[Muezzin]

Ah that's confusing!

I love confusing people. :p

Nevertheless different 'schools' of thought indeed, because everyone has different opinons on various types of matter but the initial point that I was trying to make is that an opinion wether it be good or bad is just an opinon. Such as this by no means have to be substantiated with evidence. Now if I were to claim something as a fact and I soley insist that it is indeed a fact I will be bombarded with the question where is your source? When you will substantiate your evidence as such?

I see. Surely it could apply to certain fatwas though? I mean, for example, there are schools of thought which say as empirical FACT that 'TV is Haraam(TM)!', whereas other scholars are of the opinion that the television in and of itself is not haraam, but certain programmes on it are. Do you see where the lines of opinion and fact begin to blur?

because you are talking to a female.

My mother and sister are female, and I smile at them all the time. :p I know what you're saying.

[Halima]

To substantiate whatever point we would like to present it is always credible to back it up with some evidence. Wether it be from the Quran wether it be from a newssource or even if it may be from an article

And YOUR evidence for all the mumbo jumbo above...IS? [unless you're opinionated, by your definition, you don't have to provide us the evidence, and trust me, I can live with that.]

My dear brother this is apart of the forum rules therefore it is not my educated opinon instead it is applied for everyone to do. Here in the forum (that is)


5. When quoting an article, story, poem, review or any written material, you must mention the author, if known to you, and the source from which you copied these materials.


Kaput...lol

[Halima]

I see. Surely it could apply to certain fatwas though? I mean, for example, there are schools of thought which say as empirical FACT that 'TV is Haraam(TM)!', whereas other scholars are of the opinion that the television in and of itself is not haraam, but certain programmes on it are. Do you see where the lines of opinion and fact begin to blur?

Something as serious as this will more than likely be the only time when someone has to use evidence to back up their opinon. Otherwise it will become a controversial topic at the end. For instance, 2 scholars that argue about the same thing that have 2 different opinions are just two different opinons. They are not facts. No one has claimed it to be true therefore it is still an opinon. A scholar that that argues with another scholar over a serious topic in Islam would want to go back to the fatwa to prove his statement. I would say that it is how they interpret the fatwa. Some of them can interpret it in different ways and claim it to be a statement.

My mother and sister are female, and I smile at them all the time. :p I know what you're saying.

Tell me how should I take this? Sarcasim or literal?

[Takumi]

My dear brother this is apart of the forum rules therefore it is not my educated opinon instead it is applied for everyone to do. Here in the forum (that is)


5. When quoting an article, story, poem, review or any written material, you must mention the author, if known to you, and the source from which you copied these materials.

Rules for this forum is not absolute. They are human made. Don't tell me, that people actually look up to these rules more than Quran and Sunnah. I don't believe that. If I know Kadafi and Ansar, they'll be the first one to refute the notion that the forum rules are to be followed verbatim without any lineancy.

These rules are guidelines. For example, your mumbo jumbo were not exact words of the forum rules. And the mumbo jumbo went kaput as soon as you typed your first alphabet. You only "quoted" the rules after I declared that your opinion was a mumbo jumbo. Which in my flimsy opinion, should have been done earlier [I like to do some other members a favor, too]

If the administrator of this forum have some sense, they will re think and re evaluate their rules once in a while. Don't tell me that Load Islam forum rules are perfect. Come on.

[Far7an]

:sl:

Wow, I love this thread. It's amusing!

If the administrator of this forum have some sense, they will re think and re evaluate their rules once in a while. Don't tell me that Load Islam forum rules are perfect. Come on.

You're right. In fact, we have made changes to the forum rules many times, and we may continue to do so. :)

[Takumi]

Something as serious as this will more than likely be the only time when someone has to use evidence to back up their opinon. Otherwise it will become a controversial topic at the end. For instance, 2 scholars that argue about the same thing that have 2 different opinions are just two different opinons. They are not facts. No one has claimed it to be true therefore it is still an opinon. A scholar that that argues with another scholar over a serious topic in Islam would want to go back to the fatwa to prove his statement. I would say that it is how they interpret the fatwa. Some of them can interpret it in different ways and claim it to be a statement.

Is this post your opinion or a valid progression of deliberating a fatwa known by the school of fiqh or is it an unwritten information that every muslim man or woman should know?

Scholars don't argue. They actually discuss the authencity of their ijtihad [if their fatwa is not found in absolutement from Quran and Sunnah, for example, the issue of cloning and in vitro fertilization] and they usually agree to disagree. That's why they're scholars. If they argue, they need to come and talk to me and I'm gonna knock some hard sense in their hard brains that obviously have been corrupted by their greed to have the final word on a fatwa.

Yes, this is a fact. Please go and buy [don't photocopy or download for free], the book entitled, The Etiquette of Seeking Knowledge by al Hidayah Publishing in Birmingham.

Zealots of school of fiqhs argue. Scholars don't.

[Takumi]

:sl:

Wow, I love this thread. It's amusing!

You're right. In fact, we have made changes to the forum rules many times, and we may continue to do so. :)

Finally, I get to discuss things with very emotionally balanced people! Muezzin's great and Halima has been awesome.

Is this really happening to me? :?

[Takumi]

Next tip: You are who what write?

It's not our place to judge people on how they use their words and where and where they use it. That's one opinion.

Others would say, yes,we can judge them. For example if someone uses sarcasm a lot in his posts, that means he's a very sarcastic person. Is that really true?

It's very funny indeed. When I read the atrocius post and labels of mediocrity that have been put on me recently, my desire was so inclined to say that this sister really needs help. Look at her. She's babbling. She seemed so upset. Did I upset her? Why? What made me "appear" in front of her and tell her all the things that I wrote?

Another scenario, one member advised me but also subtely implied that I was a bully. I wonder, what made her say that? What made her think that I'm a bully?

In all came down to one conclusion. People come to forum not only to "learn". Most of them NEED attention and to fill their inadequacy, which is a very humanly thing to do. I don't deny it. I made some wonderful friends over at the Brother's section. If you do, then thank you. I concede your being different.

They expect everyone to be the same.Their virtual friends always suck up to them and agree with their posts and if their virtual friends disagree, the sentence of disagreement is usually very glazed, sugarcoated and sprinkled so that their feelings wouldn't be hurt.

Is it realistic to have that expectations? No.

When you post your ideas, you are taking risk. They'll be people who will just say their mind and will not babysit you.

Read the posts in comparative religion section, see how blunt and straightforward the posts are.

Truly, this "you are what you write" usually only applies to "bad" posts per se.

For example, will you be willing to bet your bottom dollar that a person whose user name sounds muslim to you and is quoting hadeeth and quran left and right, begins his post with smileys and salam and sounds so polished in his sentence; is actually a wonderful person outside?

Many of us would say YES. Some sensible people among us would say NO.

Why is it that sensibility is not applied to a assumedly demeaning post? Is that person really like that? or are you just going to be cool about it and move on, after all, you live in a real world where your sentence construction, the way you speak, your composure and your confidence may just land you on a good job or otherwise.

On another note, it might just take you to jannah or hell.

[Halima]

Rules for this forum is not absolute. They are human made. Don't tell me, that people actually look up to these rules more than Quran and Sunnah. I don't believe that. If I know Kadafi and Ansar, they'll be the first one to refute the notion that the forum rules are to be followed verbatim without any lineancy.

I am not talking about wether the rules are human made or not. Or wether more people look at that more than the sunnah or quran. No. If so who cares? The main reason why I had posted up the rule was to generate my point by saying that anyone that refutes against something must always back it up with some evidence. Either you have tried to beat around the bush or you have just missed the whole concept of my point. Instead you had looked at this from the outside. I was talking about the rule in-depth. On the contrary I do agree with you I would find it hard to find anyone to care more about the forum rules than the Quran or hadith itself. That I know is way too obvious.

[Takumi]

I am not talking about wether the rules are human made or not. Or wether more people look at that more than the sunnah or quran. No. If so who cares? The main reason why I had posted up the rule was to generate my point by saying that anyone that refutes against something must always back it up with some evidence. Either you have tried to beat around the bush or you have just missed the whole concept of my point. Instead you had looked at this from the outside. I was talking about the rule in-depth. On the contrary I do agree with you I would find it hard to find anyone to care more about the forum rules than the Quran or hadith itself. That I know is way too obvious.

Thank you for your input and I appreciate your being very frank and not attack me but my post. I like that.

And my point is, sometimes, members cannot provide the proof and we can't dismiss their posts as failure to meet the burden of proof entirely.

If we can, we should help them.

There are ways other than using sugar glaze sentence to be nice.

Find the proof for that sister/brother to support his/her fatwa and say;

"bro/sis, i double checked that statement of yours, this is the proof for that".

Being nice doesn't mean that you use only seemingly pleasant sentence. We gotta think outside the box here, people. :statisfie

thanks

[*charisma*]

Assalamu Alaikum

I've broken this up to add in my opinions, if you dont mind inshallah.
This thread is hilarious indeed mashallah. Very psychological.

It's not our place to judge people on how they use their words and where and where they use it. That's one opinion.

Others would say, yes,we can judge them. For example if someone uses sarcasm a lot in his posts, that means he's a very sarcastic person. Is that really true?

sometimes is..sometimes isnt. It all depends on the reasons one comes on the forum for.

It's very funny indeed. When I read the atrocius post and labels of mediocrity that have been put on me recently, my desire was so inclined to say that this sister really needs help. Look at her. She's babbling. She seemed so upset. Did I upset her? Why? What made me "appear" in front of her and tell her all the things that I wrote?

Another scenario, one member advised me but also subtely implied that I was a bully. I wonder, what made her say that? What made her think that I'm a bully?

When someone is used to posts displayed a certain way to them, filled with smileys and what-nots for example, they probably will label you or judge you differently by the way you post. If someone posts straight forward, they might take you as mean or stuck-up, maybe even arrogant. All because :)<<this wasnt along with ur reply. Also this depends on which part of the forum.

In all came down to one conclusion. People come to forum not only to "learn". Most of them NEED attention and to fill their inadequacy, which is a very humanly thing to do. I don't deny it. I made some wonderful friends over at the Brother's section.

Not always necissarily, some do indeed come to learn, and by doing so it is easiest to find a person that will teach them so they create a bond with that person. Others do come for attention, to make friends, to prove something, allahu a'lem whatever it is they come..and others are there to just simply spread a word, knowledge if you will. All should come to agree though that basically we are all here to fulfil a part of our minds or hearts that may feel empty or idle.

They expect everyone to be the same.Their virtual friends always suck up to them and agree with their posts and if their virtual friends disagree, the sentence of disagreement is usually very glazed, sugarcoated and sprinkled so that feelings wouldn't be hurt.

loooool virtual friends, that sounds hilarious..sorry kinda does.
Yea it happens, these sugar-glazed replies. Only cuz ppl want to bring out an friendly environment. sad tho that there are ppl who are suck ups subhanallah

Is it realistic to have that expectations? No.

agreed.

When you post your ideas, you are taking risk. They'll be people who will just say their mind and will not babysit you.

A risk of what? getting your emotions hurt?

Read the posts in comparative religion section, see how blunt and straightforward the posts are.

That is the best section of the whole forum. Very intellectual.

Truly, this you are what you write only applies to "bad" posts per se.

I disagree. What exactly are you applying it to? Their personality? and what is it exactly that makes a post "bad"?

For example, will you be willing to bet your bottom dollar that a person whose user name sounds muslim to you and is quoting hadeeth and quran left and right, begins his post with smileys and salam and sounds so polished in his sentence; is actually a wonderful person outside?

Most of us, due to our naiveness, would say, YES!

People need to get out more..but also it doesnt mean their prejudgements are wrong. I think we all, if not most, of us act differently in real life than in the "virtual" world.


fi aman Allah
w'salaam

[Takumi]

Assalamu Alaikum


When someone is used to posts displayed a certain way to them, filled with smileys and what-nots for example, they probably will label you or judge you differently by the way you post. If someone posts straight forward, they might take you as mean or stuck-up, maybe even arrogant. All because :)<<this wasnt along with ur reply. Also this depends on which part of the forum.


fi aman Allah
w'salaam

Exactly. All these labelling, presumptions, imagining that the person who's responding is actually "talking" to you with a certain intensity is, somewhat ridiculous. This is my opinion. Attack it if you want. Not me.

It's your unsettling psyche that influences you to assume that he's stuck up because you're not used to people actually speaking their mind. Well, too bad. Again, you need to babysit your emotions and give it the time out chair. No one here actually cares about how you PERCEIVE things. For all we know, you're just someone who doesn't have anything to do and responds to posts just because you feel like it. Your perception is YOUR problem/issue. You need to deal with it. But, don't go around having diarrhea all over the forum. It's messy to clean up. :)

Labels are the preambles to presumptions. If you label someone a sufi, you'll assume that he's committing bid'ah [trust me, I got that one too]. If you are labelled a revert, you're the gem of the forum. People love to hear your inspirational stories. Yeah, they were not there went you were outcast and had to leave your mom, dad and family behind. All they say, "we'll make dua". Hello? You're making dua, that's easy to say, but are you actually trying your best to make sure that your dua is accepted? Not when you're in front of your computer calling people idiots, morons and bully. Your dua is not needed, thank you. :) [you might want to make it for yourself] :p

So, after reading someone's posts, hold on to your labelling gun. Stop your imagining him/her in front of you uttering those perceivedly nasty words at you. Stop whining and live life. Right, fozley? I love fozley, too bad no one came to your defense when I said that to you, foz! :p

Thanks. :happy:

[mahdisoldier19]

Salam Alaikam to all

Me and a few other brothers agree that there is some members of this board NOT THE WHOLE BOARD has this very very huge plague problem of accusing and assuming.

We all accuse others and assume what others mean for things we makeup and just make up words to put in that persons mouth. Please stop doing this brothers and sisters, it seems as if telling someone nicely wont cut it on this board and that we have to enforce this properly abit hard as well. Because too many people assume on this board and accuse others of saying things that has never been said. So i ask everyone on this board to give me your comments on whether this is a true fact or am i just the blind one? Accusing is very very bad because your putting an image on the person that isnt true.

For instance on the bin laden post about truce brother Imad Deen said that bin laden seemed like some hero to me.

WHERE IN THAT POST DID I SAY HES AN HERO TO ME? ALSO DID I NOT SAY THAT IM CHOOSE NEITHER SIDE OF BELIEF?

The Porky Muslim post - So if those that think that watching other muslim brothers doing haram we should intervene. I have told these muslims repeatdly To stop what theyre doing, but they dont listen. That is why i smile because they will answer on Judgement day. If you tell someone something and they ignore you then thats their problem. SO STOP ASSUMING AND ACCUSING For things we dont do

Especially when muslims arent model muslims
So if everyone has that much Ya know Iman and dawah Then go to every muslim you see that doesnt act according to the muslim law and tell them what theyre doing is wrong. Then thats you, you do your thing. And im not a model muslim myself thats why i find it funny or smile and i know what i say wont do anything, Thats why i dont say anything and just smile OR LAUGH,

Salam Alaikam hopefully some people give GOOD COMMENTS please for once

[samina1]

I Agree With U.. N Inshallah I Hope No Take This Da Wrong Way..
Fiananiallah..
Ma Salam

[- Qatada -]

:wasalamex


I agree, with u bro. masha Allaah some good points - we shouldn't accuse people of beleiving something when they havnt even actually said it.

At the same time, we shouldn't act like we're perfect, but we can give people da'wah to show them the difference between right and wrong, as long as we dont do it in arrogance insha Allaah. :)


wa Allaahu a'lam.


:salamext:

[Takumi]

Salam Alaikam to all

Me and a few other brothers agree that there is some members of this board NOT THE WHOLE BOARD has this very very huge plague problem of accusing and assuming.

....edited for briefness and following rules...

Salam Alaikam hopefully some people give GOOD COMMENTS please for once

I like your post. Do me a favor and cut and paste it on the "How NOT to be emotional" thread?

Do that for a bro will ya? Thanks.

[Quruxbadaan]

][/PIE][PIE][/PIE][PIE][/PIE][PIE][/PIE]
i agree
[PIE][/PIE][PIE][/PIE][PIE][/PIE][PIE]

[Brother_Mujahid]

........... 2 days and this threads 4 long pages long, i managed to read up to page 2 and now i think it'll have to be a 'to be continued' since its getting late

Although this thread has some good points i like how its stayed humourous/serious with the touch of sarcasm here and there. With the bootiful imput of brothers takumi and muezzin.........

keep it up dudes.

wa'alykumasalam

[Takumi]

][/PIE][PIE][/PIE][PIE][/PIE][PIE][/PIE]
i agree
[PIE][/PIE][PIE][/PIE][PIE][/PIE][PIE]

Why, thank you.

[Takumi]

So far, let us some up some tips for the benefit of newcomers. :)

(1) Try to make the post humorous to YOU. [I know, I fail to do it sometimes. We learn]
(2) Respond to the post, not the POSSIBILTY how the post MIGHT sound if it were spoken by a real person.
(3) Switch on the Text to speech feature. For Macintosh help, PM me, or PC Help PM Muezzin.
(4) Use commas, question marks wisely. When in doubt, refer to your English Language books under the subject PUNCTUATION or PM czgibson.
(5) Read that hadeeth that Fi_Sabilillah quoted. Nice one!
(6)Post #37, too complicated to summarize. Just read it. :p
(7) Click SUBMIT at your own risk. If you can't handle your emotions, please don't click submit. You'll end up exposing yourself with your paroxysm of name calling which can be detrimental to your health.:p
(8) Semantics rocks: Quoting muezzin

Okay boys and girls. If you can, please read. There are some really neat balanced opinion in the thread.

Muezzin has been a gem. Halima showed some real class there, and other contributors like Silver Pearl, Swanlake, Shadow [I like to hang out with you, you're funny! We can get some Cappucino later, MY TREAT!!], Charisma, Fi_Sabilillah [as factual as ever! I salute you1] showed tremendous coolness in their posts. Sorry, no time to write everyone's name.

Wonderful!! .

Me, I've been so like Takumi Nakashima. :) [Hattori Hanzo can eat my shoe!] :p

[Lateralus63]

:sl:

Not being emotional = Being fully logical.

Simple really.

[*charisma*]

Assalamu Alaikum

hey bro, ur back! :) welcome back! been a long time.
where u been?

fi aman Allah
w'salaam

[Lateralus63]

:sl:

Just floating around other forums. I thought i'd wade my way through the immaturity on these forums to find something useful to contribute to :)

[Takumi]

:sl:

Not being emotional = Being fully logical.

Simple really.

I like that simplicity. Now to convince my comrades... :)

[Lateralus63]

:sl:

Who's the comrades?

[mahdisoldier19]

Salam

Very interesting views everyone

[Muezzin]

:sl:

Who's the comrades?

Everyone

:p

And asalaam alaikum, Lateralus, haven't seen you here in a while!

[Takumi]

Public advice or PM?

It depends, and the jury is still out there.

Let's see some Guidelines.

(1) Public refutation of a post is needed because the original post is viewed by members publicly. So, if a member has a different opinion and would like to voice it, it's agreeable that he/she refute the opinion publicly. Of course, the caveat is, disagree with the OPINION not the person's way of writing.

(2) Sometimes due to overzealousness of refuting an opinion, we get carried away and JUDGE a person by his opinion. For example, if someone posts without daleel [even though the methodology of Fiqh clearly says that all wordly affairs are MUBAH except when Allah and His messenger had decreed it impermissible], some members are to quick to write "Are you writing from your desires?". What good will it bring to post such a sentence in PUBLIC?

(3) Or, if someone says, "Maybe the mods can find the daleel for me" and suddenly a respond comes in PUBLICLY, "that is laziness!". What good will it bring to that member who asks sincerely if the mods can help him out? Giving him an attribute that the prophet had made dua to NOT to have, is unprofessional and uncalled for.

(4) A very good example is on PM that I got from the member Nazia about my post that was out of line. Rather than crucifying me in public she chose to take the trouble to advise my post through a more confidential manner PM, unless you're on the member's ignore list, you'll be fine. Thanks Nazia.

So, choose the method of posting wisely. If you can live without humiliating a person's personality, then publicly voice your opinion. But, if you give attributes such as lazy, foolish or idiotic than maybe you need to sit down and get a real job, so that you won't have much time to expose your emotional fart. :)

Thanks.

[swanlake]

:sl:

Can i add to the list on how NOT to be emotional? Of course it is my opinion and in no way am i forcing others to accept it or agree with me.

1-Ok..Posters should let go and shouldnt hold grudge after they have run in with other posters. It is nothing personal. Life continues.

2- Posters should stop making mountain out of a molehill. Sometimes this gets way too emotional but posters dont realise it. Guess it is readers problem however the very same posters would shoot you down if they sense you are emotional.

That is my 2 cents. You could agree or disagree. Your problem, not mine :) (This is meant to smooth the harshness of the post..but it doesnt work, does it?)


Posters need to take the messege boards not so seriously.

[Tasneem]

Does it reall matter if we are emotinal or not????

Is this soooo wrong????

I mean whats the point????

You cant stop a person from BEING emotional

SaLaMz

[Takumi]

Nice job! You gotta express yourself then people know you mean business. Of course we are not here to babysit other people's emotional instability. They gotta do that with their parents. It's their parents job, not ours. :)

So, it works! Rather than focusing on the persona of the writer, we FOCUS on the post.

A member is innocent until she/he's proven guilty. If a post doesn't mean to be personal, then the post MUST not even mention any personal traits for example, bullying, foolish, idiotic, moronic, stupid, laziness, retard, imbecile, asinine.

Read this post and see whether it's personally motivated:

"That is laziness"

"What kind of moronic question is that?"

"Bullying is not allowed in Islam"

"It is foolish of you"

"So, getting paranoid, are we?"

Can an opinion be LAZY?
Most of the time, only morons post moronic question. [hence, we imply that the questioner is probably a moron]
Can an opinion be a BULLY? [last time I checked this is a PERSONAL TRAIT]
Can an opinion be PARANOID? [DSMV IV doesn't even classify OPINION as paranoid]
Can an opinion be FOOLISH? It may sound foolish, but still, will IMPLYING that the person who writes it is FOOLISH foster intelligent and issue-based discussion?

If we don't want to get personal, then POST whatever is relevant to the ISSUE. :)

Do we discuss with real people out there or are we just comfortably sitting down in front of our computer typing. Some members do attend meetings, they actually in the fore front of organizations and make decisions for institutions.

We can learn a lot. We can guard ourselves from the negativity and we may take the positive outcome of post-exchange. Isn't that why we all are here?

The peace is upon you!

[Takumi]

Adjectives to describe an opinion

Agree:

(1) Kudos!
(2) Bravo!
(3) I like that!
(4) Masha Allah!
(5) Faire extrordinaire!
(6) Mubarak!
(7) I so agree with you on that one!
(8) Your clarity amazes me!
(9) I love the way you.....[fill in the blanks]

I'm sure you guys can add many more.

[Shadow]

Adjectives to describe an opinion

Agree:

(1) Kudos!
(2) Bravo!
(3) I like that!
(4) Masha Allah!
(5) Faire extrordinaire!
(6) Mubarak!
(7) I so agree with you on that one!
(8) Your clarity amazes me!
(9) I love the way you.....[fill in the blanks]

I'm sure you guys can add many more.

u da man

i like cookies

your posts are sooo inspirational that i wud marry your daughter any day :p

your words have such meaning that u deserve to be paid for it

your posts deserve recognition


yep thats all i can think of for now :beard:

[Takumi]

:sl:

Can i add to the list on how NOT to be emotional? Of course it is my opinion and in no way am i forcing others to accept it or agree with me.

.......edited to follow Forum rules.......

That is my 2 cents. You could agree or disagree. Your problem, not mine :) (This is meant to smooth the harshness of the post..but it doesnt work, does it?)

Posters need to take the messege boards not so seriously.

Exactly! I like the way you explained yourself. While everyone knows that's YOUR opinion, emphasizing it reminds many emotional farters out there to read and re read your post and only AGREE or DISAGREE with your opinion, not how you write it. :)

Give yourself some credit, the smiley does work! I accept that my disagreeing with you is MY issue, not yours. Harshness is a second party PERCEPTION.

I read in the Brother's Section one time, where a brother was asking another brother about his friend. The response was, "It's none of your business" and I went, "wow.. THAT'S BLUNT" but then I said:

I was the one who CHOSE to perceive that respond to be blunt. It was a mere sentence, with black alphabets that do not carry any emotional merit!

Then I gave myself the chance:

(1) Rather than imagining the brother talking to the other brother in a "IN YOUR FACE" style [which sadly is a default setting for many of us], I imagined him putting his hand over the other brother's shoulder and jestfully say, "it's none of your business" like I do sometimes with my friends.

(2) I gave the member who post the benefit of the doubt. They might know each other outside the forum and talking like that is accepted between them.

(3) I didn't even write to say "brother, your response was rude, can you have some finess? Bullying is not allowed in Islam"

Peace be upon you!

[Tasneem]

Why are we talking about this???

Is is not being idle???

[Takumi]

^Perfect!

You should be able to respond to intelligently to the POST above after pages of tips.

Try it! It's fun! :)

[remember, be blunt if you want but be careful! CLICK SUBMIT AT YOUR OWN RISK!]

I'm gonna sit this one out. :)

[Shadow]

^Perfect!

You should be able to respond to intelligently to the POST above after pages of tips.

Try it! It's fun! :)

[remember, be blunt if you want but be careful! CLICK SUBMIT AT YOUR OWN RISK!]

I'm gonna sit this one out. :)

me me me me im gonna do this one :p

Why are we talking about this???

Is is not being idle???

we are talking about this as it is the main purpose of the thread, if you feel that we are being idle then thats your opinion, if you feel offended by this thread then dont read it or post on it as no one is forcing you to...

:beard:

[Takumi]

Practical example

As the scroll down the posts I wish some of the brothers and sisters here were with me atttending the courses on child abuse. It's a mandatory course for prospective foster parents.

I got the impression that when you're rich, your life's will be all gay and dandy. I hope you're right. Of course, you gotta live how you want to live.

I'm glad some of us are living in the real world. Oh ya, one question, for those teenagers, do your parents know that you're online responding to strangers' posts? [you don't have to answer this]

Love and desire. What a laugh. :)

I'll pray for YOUR kids. :)

Who knows, when I see them at the welfare office or DHS, they'll tell me, "momma used to be on the computer all day" and "daddy hit momma and yelled at us"

Quoting Ripley: "I hope you're right. I really do"

This is one of classic examples of how a response of post is targeted to a persona of a person:

:sl:

^^This isnt the first time i realized this but you dear brother love the sound of your own voice, in this case, your fingers furiously racing on the keyboard.
"je m'aime toujours" says it all. Its all about you at the end of the day and everyone else is wrong. There has to be a day you wake up and realize, if everyone is like minded, maybe it isn't them and the problem is ME! How's that for a thought, and pls, spare me the over-used, "this is how you should have responded" drivel.

:w:

What's wrong with the response:

(1) The member does not address the issue. In fact she/he clearly attacks the personality of the member who post.

(2) She assumed that it's all about the member. It's exactly what br mahdi was talking about. Assumption, assumption, assumption. :(

(3) She had assumed the member's emotion by the the phrase "furiously racing the keyboard", while by the One Who Holds My Soul, I was relaxed and calm while writing the post. :)

(4) I sincerely believe that this post was meant to be PM'ed to me. Shadow, what do you think?

Je m'aime tujours = I always love myself. If you don't love yourself, you won't try to save yourself from the hellfire. That's what it meant.

Ibn Al-Atheer mentioned this in his book Jaami'-ul-Usool the saying of the Prophet in the authentic hadeeth: "The bankrupt person from my ummah will come on the Day of Judgement with prayer, fasting and Zakaat. But he also abused this person, slandered that person, took money wrongfully from this person, spilled the blood of that one, and beat this one. So some of his good deeds will be given to this person and some of them to that person. So if his good deeds run out before he makes up for what is against him, he will take from their sins and they will be charged against him. And then he will be flung into the Hellfire." [5]

[5] Saheeh Hadeeth: Reported by Muslim (2581), At-Tirmidhee (2418), Ahmad (2/303), Al-Bayhaqee (6/93) from the path of Al-'Alaa Ibn 'Abdir-Rahmaan from his father from Abu Hurairah in marfoo' form. At-Tirmidhee said it was hasan saheeh.

I did it! I finally followed forum rules on that one! I cut and paste my hadeeth! :D

Peace.

[Takumi]

Yet another practical example

:sl:

I like how you've used the whole family argument, all you could have said was it hurt your feelings instead of evoking your invisible wife/mom, etc.
Now if I follow your logic, you should also remember when you demean and talk down to ppl, their parents, friends, etc, may be reading your post and might be hurt by it. Debating and exchanging ideas are what we are here for and my goal was for you to taste your own medicine to better connect with those of us below you. A little respect goes a long way.

:w:

Alhamdulillah, the post actually admitted the intention.

My feelings wasn't hurt or course, because I CHOSE not to be hurt by the post.

Anyway, I'd welcome anyone to reply to this post here. Where would you start?

She claims that we're to debate, but the post doesn't have substance and what is the issue?

[aljawaad]

Well my opinion about emoticon is that they can really be useful at times to allow others to know how we are feelings. However emoticon are often used just like this; i mean they are used not to express our real feelings, rather they are used jus to make others feel that we are experiencing some kind of feelings when in fact we are never experiencing such feelings at that time.

Emoticon can be useful at times but i rarely used them coz i feel lazy.... u c wat i mean?!?.
Anyway w'assallam

**By the way i'm waiting for some harsh reply for my post; e.g "Go and voice your opinion somewhere else". I dunno why but I feel that i'm going to get such a reply. Anyway I don't care

[Takumi]

Well my opinion about emoticon is that they can really be useful at times to allow others to know how we are feelings. However emoticon are often used just like this; i mean they are used not to express our real feelings, rather they are used jus to make others feel that we are experiencing some kind of feelings when in fact we are never experiencing such feelings at that time.

Emoticon can be useful at times but i rarely used them coz i feel lazy.... u c wat i mean?!?.
Anyway w'assallam

**By the way i'm waiting for some harsh reply for my post; e.g "Go and voice your opinion somewhere else". I dunno why but I feel that i'm going to get such a reply. Anyway I don't care

Brother,

Thanks for taking the time to write. Your opinion is appreciated.

We WANT your opinion here. :)

Unless you write:

"Takumi, all this while you are talking about yourself. You gotta take your own medicine. You must respect people."

Now, THAT, I don't have to do anything. The generous mods will take care of it. :)

[Muezzin]

I think I'll add my own little 'lesson':

How to take a joke

Now, online, I realize it is difficult to communicate things like sarcasm and irony. I understand that smileys help to convey a jokey attitude, and use them regularly. However, many other members on this forum and many others, who are all infinitely funnier than me, sometimes do not use smilies.

When another member then reads one of these smiley-less posts, they think one of four things:

1) Ha, nice sarcasm.

2) I see the joke, but I don't find it funny.

3) I see the joke, but I don't like sarcasm in serious discussion thank you.

4) ASTAGFIRULLAH [or random swear words], I WILL UNLEASH THE FULL CONTENTS OF: HELL, MY TIME OF THE MONTH, A PACK OF ASPIRIN, AND A SMALL POODLE'S BACKSIDE ON YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN

Now, the first three types of people are okay. They can all take a joke, and though they might not all appreciate the levity added to the discussion, they ain't gonna go medieval on your butt. That is how to take a joke.

But see, number 4 is what you'd call an 'unreasonable' reply. Would someone of customary phlegm and fortitude (that's Joe Public in non-legal speak) react like a number 4 person? I don't think so. Even without a smiley in a post, one might politely remonstrate with the other person - i.e. by quoting their post and saying 'I am offended by what you said,' or something along those lines.

This gives the original member a chance to explain himself without the offended member publibly humiliating themselves by trying to publicly humiliate the original member.

Bulls see red. Then they're slaughtered.

[Halima]

:sl:

Thank you for the tip of 'how to take a joke' brother. However, it is not good to joke to much. I am saying this in general because if one jokes too much, then other people will start getting into the habit of not taking them serious. Hence when you are serious they will think you are being funny or sarcastic. As for me, I think that I joke from time to time alot but alot of people think I am quite and very reserved and very serious. Honestly, if I were to tell a joke, then it wouldn't come out right thats just how I am. That is why I don't joke at all.



:w:

[Rabbiyah]

so tht in some way means u need some smileys to make ur tone CLEAR. :)

P.s : i hope i am allowed to smile at u :p [btw m a bro too, u know ;)]

for a smile is charity just don't show your teeth.

[Muezzin]

:sl:

I know what you're saying, sister Halima, and I agree. Besides, it's better for everyone that people who are naturally serious don't try to joke too much. The 'jokes' can seem a bit er... off. :)

Somewhat connected to your point of excessive joking: I think that a lot of people on here have this false image of me and other members, who I shall not name, as jokers who take nothing seriously whatever. This is a fatal error, and is tied in with Takumi's points about building an image of someone based on the posts they make in an Internet forum.

I can only speak for myself here, but I only joke on the Internet, particularly in forums, because I know that at the end of the day, what we're talking and arguing about in here really won't amount to much. Seriously. I truly think the only people who give a damn about what we say in this Islamic forum are government agents on the lookout for new terror cells, or hack journalists out to cause a stir and print some out-of-context quotations from Muslims in The Star or some such drivel.

In real life, I and at least a few other of the 'funny guys' of LI are quite serious. Yeah, we tell jokes and wisecrack here and there, but it's not excessive otherwise half of us would be retaking primary school SATs.

People need to understand that everyone comes on here for different reasons. Many come on to gain knowledge, which is fine and is the purpose of the forum - but, really, the first place to look for Islamic knowledge is the masjid, not Google.

Other people, myself included, come on here for a bit of a laugh and a way to relax after a particularly taxing two-hour seminar (:p). When these people make jokes, which stem from other peoples' posts, they are not ridiculing the poster, and it is not personal. It's the same as friendly banter in real life - you know, the stuff you laugh at and don't take seriously, because if you took it seriously, you would really benefit from Prozac.

Heh, I'm fascinated to know how many members, given my reputation as a joker here, have found the true tone of this post - comic or serious?

Maybe they should think outside the box. Maybe it can be both.

[Halima]

:sl:



Somewhat connected to your point of excessive joking: I think that a lot of people on here have this false image of me and other members, who I shall not name, as jokers who take nothing seriously whatever. This is a fatal error, and is tied in with Takumi's points about building an image of someone based on the posts they make in an Internet forum.

I am not going of topic but I see this point clearly relates to the 'would you marry someone online thread' in the marriage section. One can be talking to someone over the net and you never know if they are truly that person in reality. This is net world. The only thing you see are words written behind the screen. If someone wants to fight you would you be scared of them as naturally one would be in real life? Of course not. We do not see people expressions on the net. We see only certain sides to them and I can truly tell you that we don't see everyones true colors. *thinking out of the box here* in reality I am a lovable funny person. I have many friends and I smile alot. Now you see me on this forum, you clearly do not see that side of me. That is the reality of the people who you talk to on the net unfortunately. You can be chatting with a 15 year old girl and she may be a 60 year old rapist lurking for men as their pray. Talking to someone on the otherside of the computer how do you know to trust them? It is when l you actually meet them and then you will know their truest colors. One can be very easily tricked over the net. You have to be careful.

[Muezzin]

That's very, very true.

Of course, I'll just clarify on behalf of sister Halima: that's not to say everyone who is nice and funny and friendly online is a 60 year old rapist :p

It is true that the only evidence on this forum the average member has of another is their posts. By the same token, as you said, one shouldn't think those posts are an accurate representation of that person as a whole.

Otherwise you get mental images of Minaz and I as court jesters. :p

[swanlake]

:sl:

Good points sis Halima and br Muezzin.

I build an image in my head whilst i am reading someone's post. Again my problem as br Takumi might say. But i genuinely think that we as posters dont change personalities over the net dramatically. Our posts shows and reflects how we are in real life. As i said..this could be me who has this way of thinking.

[Muezzin]

:sl:

I guess. Maybe it amplifies certain characteristics because some people come on here to be serious while others come here for a laugh.

Adjectives to describe an opinion

Agree:

(1) Kudos!
(2) Bravo!
(3) I like that!
(4) Masha Allah!
(5) Faire extrordinaire!
(6) Mubarak!
(7) I so agree with you on that one!
(8) Your clarity amazes me!
(9) I love the way you.....[fill in the blanks]

I'm sure you guys can add many more.

I have yet to hear something that rivals this

[Muezzin]

Maybe he will, sister Swanlake. There is not fate but what we make for ourselves.

If there's one thing the Terminator movies taught me, it's that.

If there's two things the Terminator movies taught me, it's never make a third film when the thing it's following up is a flipping masterpiece.

Akhi, the moving picture is part of my signature rather than my post. You can edit your signature in the UserCP area :)

And on-topic... anyone else building mental images?

[mizan_aliashraf]

Salam
Im not directing this at anybody, so i dont want people raving at me, but in general, people (including myself) are far too busy chasing the dunya
Wassalam

[Muezzin]

How true.

It's kind of like that old cartoon 'Catch the Pigeon'- they never ever caught that foul fowl, but it never stopped 'em from trying.

Similarly, we know that we're not gonna get out of life alive, yet bizarrely, that never stops us from trying to defy God's intentions and live forever.

'Nab him, grab him,
CATCH THAT PIGEON... NOW!'

The relevance of that animated show has moved me.

...about an inch to the left of my seat.

[swanlake]

By talking about Terminator movies, i have built an image. :)

That cant be helped. I.e. bro Muezzin..would i be wrong in thinking that you think money makes the world go round?

[Muezzin]

Okay, think of it this way. The world's an old steam train, right. There's a driver and there's coal

Now, there's two things on this train - love and money. People disagree as to what is driving the train, and what is fueling it. Me? Money burns great.

[swanlake]

Interesting analogy there.

Going back to 'how not to be emotional' before i get my knucles rapped....

Always look on the bright side of post.

Give people the benefit of the doubt.

This advice is for me first.

[Takumi]

Great job. This post is definitely different from the one I remember a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time ago. :)

All 5 individual lines show a lot of clarity in your psyche. It helps the reader a lot actually, because too many lines crammed up, added with a plethora of question marks and exclamation marks and unnecessary psychoanalysis can be daunting, most of the time.

The above post is apt. Quick, easy and meaningful.

Great job!

[swanlake]

:sl:

It was also sort of apology to that first post you recall.

[Halima]

:sl:


Heh, I'm fascinated to know how many members, given my reputation as a joker here, have found the true tone of this post - comic or serious?

I wanted to reply to this question but I didn't have enough time. You know know what I honestly think about your reply? This is like the longest reply that I've seen you right like seriously.lol. Although I have taken ur reply to be both comical and serious. You say amusing things in your posts like this...

Otherwise you get mental images of Minaz and I as court jesters

and I can quote many many more.

until otherwise you handeled it in a 'mature' way


-my 2 cents

[Usmansaab]

I think u should use smilies as it wont offened ppl if u are jokin but i agree with muezzin(cousin hehe u know who i am :P) tht this...:offended: LOOKS LIKE A BURNT TOMATO!!!!:happy:

[aljawaad]

:happy: I've now started to use more emoticon after having read your posts.

[Noor]

Brother Takumi,

I just wanted to express my appreciation regarding this thread. I've learnt so much about the whole posting world and myself. Man, I must be an emotional wreck. **Wondering if there is a welfare clinic I can visit to change my personality** :rollseyes

If I was entitled to give out awards in this forum, for the best thread...this one would surely get it. Wow!!! I love it sssooo much. :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub:

Peace in the Middle East!!!:happy: :happy: :happy: :happy:

[Takumi]

Generalization vs assumption

Is it wrong to generalize? In a statistical world it might be prudent but in forums that's a grave that you dig for yourself.

For example: All mods are biased! <-----example

Is it wrong to assume? In a meteorological world, it helps people to plan for their vacation: the more dignified word is Weather Forecast :) But in the forums, you're basically saying to yourself, "hasta la vista, baby" [looking at Muezzin] :p

Assumption: "You just don't like us women. You are just mean to women" while this brother has been busy advocating Islam for muslim women on the other thread."

Don't generalize men nor women. Gender is really a sensitive issue. Use these words instead:

(1) Most men/women
(2) Many of them
(3) It's a trend that I see...

NEVER generalize race. True, if a reader is lighthearted and gives 1000 excuses to the member, race generalization can go scott free, but USUALLY it entails bickering and all bonds of brotherhood/sisterhood will be lost.

We must admit that how hard we try, there's still a certain attachment to our race, which is perfectly fine. Our race is not our choice. It's Allah's choice for us. We have to be proud that Allah has made a good decision, because He never makes mistake [please oh please tell me that I don't need a proof for this torchlight-switched-on-during-day obvious fact].

We gotta be realistic. Our race and its culture are not perfect and to take that note a little bit further, no race is perfect. If there are some discrepancies in our culture, we must bite the bullet and admit because this is the right thing to do. And if a brother/sister writes about it through his/her observation, we either agree or disagree or be quiet about it.

Example : Most Arabs I've met are self conceited. They think they're the only ones who know Islam the best.

I know. Many Arabs will probably jump at me if I write that. Why?

What if according to MY experience that statement is true?

These are you choices, but NOT limited to:

(1) Agree: I agree brother. I'm glad you didn't generalize. They probably didn't mean to be self conceited. No one's perfect. I'm sorry that you're experience with some Arabs have not been pleasant. I'm an Arab, I can assure you that I will make up for your sense of hurt while interacting with them. Let's forget the past. :)

(2) Disagree (1): Who the heck do you think you are? What are you? You Japanese are nothing but remnants of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. No wonder you're retarded! Are you a revert? No wonder!!!!!! You don't know nothin'!!!!! Your post is moronic and idiotic! Oh wait, I forgot, you're a cry baby. Boo hooo...CRY ME A RIVER...

(2) Disagree (2): I don't agree with your observation. All my experiences with the Arabs have been super duper nice. They bought me a Rolls Royce, a palace in Casablanca and a golden embroidered Quran! Maybe you hanged out with the wrong people bro! :p

Peace! :happy:

[imaan49]

asalaamu alaikum

interesting thread, but i dont get how i was being emotional,
when i said ok... in that other thread i meant it as in i had no idea wut u were trying to tell me

[Takumi]

asalaamu alaikum

interesting thread, but i dont get how i was being emotional,
when i said ok... in that other thread i meant it as in i had no idea wut u were trying to tell me

Exactly! I was unsure how to actually take your, ok..... :)

I had two choices:

(1) You said ok.... to accept my acknowledgment of your marvelous post and reception of my sincerest credits.

(2) You said ok.... to demonstrate that you're unsure or did not understand what's going on. :D

You're fine, sister. You're NOT being emotional, that's why I like your post.

Read the post by the member who wrote the word "WACK", now, have you had your dose of laughter today?

peace1 :D

[Muezzin]

Emotional or not, the post that Takumi's referring to was hilarious ;D

[Silver Pearl]

Wa alaykum salam warahmatullahi wabarakatuh,

Takumi-Firstly this post has no emotional attachment to what I’m about to say, so read this in a non-critical manner.

Your first post mentioned how you did not what psychobabble yet most of your post analyzes the psychological mindset of which the post could have been written in and what emotions could have been expressed. I find that contradictory to your first post. Do you have a fascination for psychology? Psychology is a great subject from what I have studied but people can find it annoying if not patronizing to break down their posts and interpret what they could have implied. What is the purpose behind your thread?

You could spend years trying to analyze and interpret what everyone is trying to say, however, you won’t come to an answer. Rather it’ll be a baseless theory that can easily be disproved by simply getting one person to contradict just one of your claims. So is there a point? Perhaps you find benefit to this thread, if so my mistake.

In addition I have noticed that you look at other people’s post and judge whether there is emotional drive behind the words and speak of emotional diarrhea. The irony is if you closely analyzed your posts you’d find the same thing and same for me. I can get anyone’s post here and tell you the emotional that can be retrieved from them merely by looking closely into few phrases. Surely we have to be critical of ourselves first before looking at others.

Although I said this post is written from a non-attached emotionless attitude, I myself could sit here and pick out what emotions could have been expressed in my own post. It is difficult, if not impossible, may be impossible to write anything without there being emotion present.

So my question is, what is the point?

I hope you don’t take this post as being anything other than advice.

[Ghazi]

Salaam

I think we should express good emotion like kindness happiness and forbid evil emotion like jelousy haterd and anger.

[imaan49]

Asalaamu alaikum

i kno this has nothng to do with the topic, but im pretty sure i posted other replies in here, an i dont c them

[Muezzin]

Asalaamu alaikum

i kno this has nothng to do with the topic, but im pretty sure i posted other replies in here, an i dont c them

They may have been deleted for being off-topic.

I did say 'may have', I'm the last person to be able to accuse someone of being off-topic :p

[Takumi]

Wa alaykum salam warahmatullahi wabarakatuh,

Takumi-Firstly this post has no emotional attachment to what I’m about to say, so read this in a non-critical manner..

I always do except when members write about ME instead of my opinions. I'm sure you realized that by now.

our first post mentioned how you did not what psychobabble yet most of your post analyzes the psychological mindset of which the post could have been written in and what emotions could have been expressed. I find that contradictory to your first post. Do you have a fascination for psychology? ..

While psychologist claim savoire faire on the subject, I don't feel it's necessary for me to be a psychologist to commonsense-ly evaluate a post that clearly attacks the personality of the writer rather than the opinions brought forward. Those were mere suggestions and they may be agreed and disagreed upon. The point is sister, HOW do we agree and disagree?

Do we taint it name calling [foolish, idiotic, moronic, wack, police ] or we keep our cool and adress the issue?

Psychology is a great subject from what I have studied but people can find it annoying if not patronizing to break down their posts and interpret what they could have implied. What is the purpose behind your thread?

My apologies if the purpose of thread is ambiguos to you. This thread serves to exchange tips on How NOT to be Emotional when we respond to other people's post. True, like any other threads, this thread suffers from inconsistency and off topics, but that's no biggie, if those posts are sane and not attacking anyone's personality. The moderators are always here to remove those posts and we gotta be content with that. Such are the rules.

You could spend years trying to analyze and interpret what everyone is trying to say, however, you won’t come to an answer. Rather it’ll be a baseless theory that can easily be disproved by simply getting one person to contradict just one of your claims. So is there a point? Perhaps you find benefit to this thread, if so my mistake.

Forum is a place where you may do that. Disaprove my claims, go ahead. But in that process, keep your gender prejudices, assumptions about me, adjectives to describe my mental health and whether or not I want to have the final word, aside. I fail to see that happening in some posts responding to my posts and many other posts for that matter. Most of them, by members whose opinion I have refuted or been refuted, attack me or other members personally.

Tell me, sister, those posts that you read in this thread, that I've used as an examples of bad, emotionally and personally driven posts, do they reflect opinion-based posts? I don't go to Cambridge nor Oxford but my common sense tells me that they're not. They attack personality.

In addition I have noticed that you look at other people’s post and judge whether there is emotional drive behind the words and speak of emotional diarrhea. The irony is if you closely analyzed your posts you’d find the same thing and same for me. I can get anyone’s post here and tell you the emotional that can be retrieved from them merely by looking closely into few phrases. Surely we have to be critical of ourselves first before looking at others.

Diarrhea refers to an acute, uncontrollable defecation usually associated with food poisoning or abnormal peristalsis. In short, defecation is a normal process, but when you have diarrhea, your defecation habit goes haywire.

To have a post that is emotional is habitual, maybe for many people, but to have an emotionally diarrheic post, people attack personality not the issue. It's an acute, uncontrollable EMOTION suffered during that time of writing. Thus forgetting the reason why he/she's posting and sometimes, forgetting what the issue at hand.

Although I said this post is written from a non-attached emotionless attitude, I myself could sit here and pick out what emotions could have been expressed in my own post. It is difficult, if not impossible, may be impossible to write anything without there being emotion present.

You are certainly right. I might be wrong to say that while you wrote the post, you were calm and composed, you were not trying to diss me, your primary concern was to present your views without ascribing me to any degrading attributes. Or, I might be right; by just reading your post.

You're a perfect example of how opinions may be brought forward sans name calling and dissing personaliy.

So my question is, what is the point?

I hope you don’t take this post as being anything other than advice.

All opinions in this thread will be treated as OPINIONS and we will disagree or agree with that opinion only. I believe I named the thread incorrectly. I'd like the mods to change the name of this thread, to How NOT to be TOO emotional please to prevent further misunderstanding.

I thank you for your input. Your post to this thread is greatly appreciated.

Peace.

[shudnt_have]

Just a word,
Being able to express your emotions in your speech shows one's true sincerity about the topic. One more ting, I want to mention is, this thread helped me too. Ive applied the suggestions made here in my last two religious dialogues, where as usually I would be all defensive about it and everything. But this time, I was all cool about it. alhamdulilah. Generally speaking, knowing myself I have no trouble in expressing my thoughts with others. what I do find challenging is controlling my impulses, I tend to yak whatever is on mind before actually thinking about it.. Im still learning I guess.

:sl:

[shanu]

i hardly use smileys
im lazy, n i dont really click on da go advanced thingy
but ahh since u want smiley
here they r
;D;D;D:D:D:D:):):):?:?:?

[shudnt_have]

BUMP

:sl: :brother:

What happened to this thread? We need some more tips, how not to be reactive? inshaAllah.
-some of things, I struggle with stuttering and talkingtoofast when I am under pressure, where I loose myself..:grumbling

[Takumi]

Let's see whether we can digest all the posts first. I've been reviewing the post myself and have been crossreferring members's post to make some new tips.

:)

[Takumi]

does your position in LI affect your post?

I've been thinking about this post for a very long time. It has been delayed due to the fact that this definitely is a very sensitive issue.

It's regarding the moderators.

My thoughts about this post came when on one post, I made a remark that implied that because one member was humiliating me, a certain mod would then have to shut the thread down.

Then I got a negative rep that implied that it was my fault that that member somehow retaliated. Then I remember that I gave that particular mod a negative rep on his/her post in which he/she used the "d" word, which I assumed was unacceptable. So, maybe it was a retaliation on his/her part, but, I just let it go. Since rep points are the least of my concern.

I felt that an injustice was done, since it's a fact that if posts are humiliating and uncontrollable, the thread should either be closed down or the member reprimanded.

Truthfully, when you have a position in any forum, are you writing as a member, or as a moderator?

If someone criticizes your post, do you take it as, someone is challenging your authority as a moderator or just being truthful about your post?

I don't know the answer to that. I'm sure the mods do.

[The Ruler]

^^ i dunno de answer to dat but as a reply to the actual thread...

my dad once told me dat i am tooo emotional n from dat day iv like sort of made an oth neva to cry....it helps actually. :happy:

i v been sad many times but i dont fink i cried after dat....i try to cover up my sad emotions wid anger. its bad i no but it helps

if my response is rong, correct me for i did not understand the irst thread... but guessing by the post n wen u first said 'stop whining'

:w:

[princes_muslima]

salaam.

some good tips here masha Allah.

I say, always remember that when you are crieng, Allah is watching you and answering your tears. He wanted you to let your emotions out on him and ask Him! He says "walk to me and I will run to you." subhan Allah, He is so there for us that we lack to understand.

Always get busy in dhikr, read more of the Qur'an and of course, praying 5 times a day keeps you in touch with Allah and if the FIRST cure to our problems. We can't help not being emotional and I can understand why we shudn't be too emotional since it leads to one being ungrateful to Allah for all He has given us.

kheir insha Allah.

wasalaam

[Takumi]

salaam.

some good tips here masha Allah.

I say, always remember that when you are crieng, Allah is watching you and answering your tears. He wanted you to let your emotions out on him and ask Him! He says "walk to me and I will run to you." subhan Allah, He is so there for us that we lack to understand.

Always get busy in dhikr, read more of the Qur'an and of course, praying 5 times a day keeps you in touch with Allah and if the FIRST cure to our problems. We can't help not being emotional and I can understand why we shudn't be too emotional since it leads to one being ungrateful to Allah for all He has given us.

kheir insha Allah.

wasalaam

Thank you for your post. It's very honest and sincere.

I agree with you that being emotional is good. Without emotions, we'll be dry, insensitive and incompassionate.

This thread serves to guide members how not to take posts personally or post personal attacks. It serves to enlighten those who tend to rather attack the issue, they attack the personality of the member who posts.

I'm not sure whether the examples I've put up still exists, but, if you see those examples, the posts clearly degrade the personality of the member rather than commenting the on the issue.

This disease is by my definition, being TOO emotional. The only cure is to revisit the intention and of course, READ, RE READ, RE READ your post before clicking SUBMIT REPLY.

Click it at your own risk. :)

[london brother]

As-Salaamu `alaykum wa RaHmatullaahi wa Baarakaatuh!!! Maasha'Allaah, Nihonjin desu ka na? Sou da to omou, lol, Maasha'Allaah!!! Boku wa Eikokujin desu yo! Nihonjin no Musurimu ga hontou ni omoshiroi! Gomennasai, ke'igo ga wakannai to tsumannai yo, loool!!! Soretomo boku no Nihongo no sukiru ga hontou ni hetakuso da, loool!!! I only know a certain amount of Japanese, mainly because I am forgetting it day by day and I have only been to Japan once! I went to Hokkaidou for one month and it was AWESOME!!! Ah, by the way, boku wa 28 sai no shiro na hito to boku no tsuma mo shiro na hito da. Kanojo ga 19 sai to kanojo mo Musurimu da, Maasha'Allaah!
Itsu ni anata wa Musurimu ni natta ka na!? HONTOU NI OMOSHIROI YO, Maasha'Allaah! UK ni sunde'ru ka na??? Also, please tell me how you became Muslim in the first place, insha'Allaah, and I would be glad to exchange my story also! I practise Hanafi fiqh and I grew up in Wales but have lived in London for the past 12 or 13 years! My wife is from Banbury, Maasha'Allaah, and she will move in with me soon, insha'Allaah! We married on the 1st April this year (2006), al-Hamd-ul-Illaah, so we are a reasonably newly wedded couple, al-Hamd-ul-Illaah!!! BaarakAllaahu fiik, ukhti! Allaahumma Baarik fi Japan Muslimiin, Aamiiin! Allaahumma Baarik fi Ummah, Aamiiin! *Musa* :brother: *Amiinah* :sister: As-Salaamu `alaykum wa RaHmatullaahi wa Baarakaatuh!!!

[Muezzin]

As-Salaamu `alaykum wa RaHmatullaahi wa Baarakaatuh!!! Maasha'Allaah, Nihonjin desu ka na? Sou da to omou, lol, Maasha'Allaah!!! Boku wa Eikokujin desu yo! Nihonjin no Musurimu ga hontou ni omoshiroi! Gomennasai, ke'igo ga wakannai to tsumannai yo, loool!!! Soretomo boku no Nihongo no sukiru ga hontou ni hetakuso da, loool!!! I only know a certain amount of Japanese, mainly because I am forgetting it day by day and I have only been to Japan once! I went to Hokkaidou for one month and it was AWESOME!!! Ah, by the way, boku wa 28 sai no shiro na hito to boku no tsuma mo shiro na hito da. Kanojo ga 19 sai to kanojo mo Musurimu da, Maasha'Allaah!
Itsu ni anata wa Musurimu ni natta ka na!? HONTOU NI OMOSHIROI YO, Maasha'Allaah! UK ni sunde'ru ka na??? Also, please tell me how you became Muslim in the first place, insha'Allaah, and I would be glad to exchange my story also! I practise Hanafi fiqh and I grew up in Wales but have lived in London for the past 12 or 13 years! My wife is from Banbury, Maasha'Allaah, and she will move in with me soon, insha'Allaah! We married on the 1st April this year (2006), al-Hamd-ul-Illaah, so we are a reasonably newly wedded couple, al-Hamd-ul-Illaah!!! BaarakAllaahu fiik, ukhti! Allaahumma Baarik fi Japan Muslimiin, Aamiiin! Allaahumma Baarik fi Ummah, Aamiiin! *Musa* :brother: *Amiinah* :sister: As-Salaamu `alaykum wa RaHmatullaahi wa Baarakaatuh!!!

Whoah, whoah dude! Use some paragraphs and more English next time! :p :D

[Re.TiReD]

:sl: lol u took the words right outa my mouth!!! lol :p now....let me tell you why i used that smiley....

i used it so that the previous brother knows that i was kiddin but also so that the London brother knows i'm not making fun of his language.

anyway..back to the topic.....why would anybody want to know how NOT to be TOO emotional??? :?

i used that smiley coz i'm confused!! lol

i mean...if you're an emotional sort of person you know what i say....? i say....let it all out!! at least your not afraid to show your feelings and whet you're really thinking....:heated:

i used that emoticon to show that somebody might be feeling frustrated and its a good thing to tell others if you are so they can help you out!

well...thats all i have to say for now...:sister:

i used that coz im a krazy ukhti!! lol

btw, just for your info...i'm a teenager and have been crying alot recently due to some problems...now tell me....is that a bad thing??? and if not, whats the point of this thread? ;D

now i used that emoticon coz people will probably think i'm talking a load of rubbish an i find that funny!!!


lolz peace out!!!

[Re.TiReD]

:sl: omg!!! how come nobodys replyin to this thread now!!!! lol

[BANANA]hope it wasnt sumtin i sed![/BANANA]

[Halima]

does your position in LI affect your post?

I've been thinking about this post for a very long time. It has been delayed due to the fact that this definitely is a very sensitive issue.

It's regarding the moderators.

My thoughts about this post came when on one post, I made a remark that implied that because one member was humiliating me, a certain mod would then have to shut the thread down.

Then I got a negative rep that implied that it was my fault that that member somehow retaliated. Then I remember that I gave that particular mod a negative rep on his/her post in which he/she used the "d" word, which I assumed was unacceptable. So, maybe it was a retaliation on his/her part, but, I just let it go. Since rep points are the least of my concern.

I felt that an injustice was done, since it's a fact that if posts are humiliating and uncontrollable, the thread should either be closed down or the member reprimanded.

Truthfully, when you have a position in any forum, are you writing as a member, or as a moderator?

If someone criticizes your post, do you take it as, someone is challenging your authority as a moderator or just being truthful about your post?

I don't know the answer to that. I'm sure the mods do.

Perhaps you are not exactly familiar with a moderator's guidelines when posting. Indeed, there is a big difference when a moderator posts, and when a regular member posts. Please do not be so niiave to think that moderators and members post alike.


What are moderators?

Moderators oversee specific forums. They generally have the ability to edit and delete posts, move threads, and perform other manipulations. Becoming a moderator for a specific forum is usually rewarded to users who are particularly helpful and knowledgeable in the subject of the forum they are moderating.

[mizan_aliashraf]

Salam
I think that's cleared up a few issues
Wassalam

[MinAhlilHadeeth]

I use these smileys so people know I'm joking. The one or two times I've told a 'joke' here without a smiley, people get all offended and start calling me kafir and stuff. Hence: :p

You're right though, Brother Takumi, it is often difficult to gauge the emotion of a member just by reading the words of their post. In that respect, smileys and exclamation marks help to communicate the spirit in which the message is being given.

That said, there are some really silly smileys. Take the 'Offended' one for example.

:offended:

I mean, what the heck is that? It looks like a burnt tomato.

I thought it was racist at first....

But yeah, it's not good to get too angry. But i don't think there is a problem with being too happy..... or is there?
:w:

[mizan_aliashraf]

Salam
Racist? what's racist, and no, not the term. I mean what did you think was racist?
Wassalam

[MinAhlilHadeeth]

The offended smiley, first time I saw it. I know, i'm stupid.
:w:

[cleo]

how can you feel without commas dots exclaimtion and make sense of a sentence without the tools and make sense etc

[Re.TiReD]

huh??? :? basically you think we should express our emotions...right??

[Muslim Knight]

Whoah, whoah dude! Use some paragraphs and more English next time! :p :D

I was shocked also bro Muezzin. It sorta broke my concentration while reading the whole thread. :grumbling ;D :okay:

[Takumi]

Perhaps you are not exactly familiar with a moderator's guidelines when posting. Indeed, there is a big difference when a moderator posts, and when a regular member posts. Please do not be so niiave to think that moderators and members post alike.


What are moderators?

Moderators oversee specific forums. They generally have the ability to edit and delete posts, move threads, and perform other manipulations. Becoming a moderator for a specific forum is usually rewarded to users who are particularly helpful and knowledgeable in the subject of the forum they are moderating.

Moderators are human beings whose opinions are as fragile and as susceptible to criticism and rebuttal as the opinions of others.

If a moderator thinks that his/her opinions carry more weight that regular members' opinion just because of his/her position, I strongly believe that he/she needs to chill down and back off a little bit.

No sane moderator would unjustly act because he/she felt threatened due to a rebuttal of his/her views.

Unless, he/she is being TOO EMOTIONAL about it and retaliate blindly.

Duh! :)

[Muezzin]

I've been watching 'House' to help me through times of stress by deflecting criticism with wit, sarcasm and a stone cold heart.

It's great if you're moderating the World Affairs section - wisecrack and kick the crap out of anyone who steps out of line, Muslim or non-Muslim. Inflicting torture is good for the soul. Well, mine at least.

;)

[Woodrow]

Strange thing about emotions. We all enjoy having them. They are one of the things that seperate us from animals. Yet, emotions can be destructive, when allowed to run without internal guidance.

As people we begin life as letting our emotions determine our judgement. If it feels good we consider it right and repeat the act. If it causes internal pain or sadness, we stop.

Later we discover that sometimes we need to act in opposistion to our emotions. We often run into choices that will bring use great fear and pain, yet we learn we must still do them.

So it is in posting. It is always woderfull to post things that bring good feelings. But, there are times, for the sake of truth and justice, we can not let our emotions rule.

[shudnt_have]

Strange thing about emotions. We all enjoy having them. They are one of the things that seperate us from animals. Yet, emotions can be destructive, when allowed to run without internal guidance.

As people we begin life as letting our emotions determine our judgement. If it feels good we consider it right and repeat the act. If it causes internal pain or sadness, we stop.

Later we discover that sometimes we need to act in opposistion to our emotions. We often run into choices that will bring use great fear and pain, yet we learn we must still do them.

So it is in posting. It is always woderfull to post things that bring good feelings. But, there are times, for the sake of truth and justice, we can not let our emotions rule.

Beautifully said. indeed overly emotional ppl are suspectible to maltreament of others...

so we shudnt speak in vain...rather control our long senseless talks..into short juggemental words...which will make sense and help cut down the drama with others!

[scentsofjannah]

i rarely use smilies..kinda childish in my humble opinion.

[Re.TiReD]

lol sis, if a post makes you smile...what better way to show it then using a smiley? :) if smiles are childish are emotions childish too?? :? and if emotions are childish...shouldt older peeps smile? :? lol sorry, i'm just wondering why you hold that view. :w: :sister:

[Woodrow]

All things have their place and time. Emotions are fine when expressed in an environment appropriate for them. I'm really not a grouch all the time. I have my share of silly moments and sometimes they can be at the worse possible times. I think we all have times when we let emotions rule. We are Humans after all. We just need to try to keep the proper emotions in the proper places.

For myself the best way to keep from posting in anger, is to avoid posting my first thoughts. Type it out. let set for at least a few minutes. Have a cup of coffee. re-read it and edit as needed before posting.

No, I don't always do that, My typing errors alone verify when I have not reread before hitting the post Button.

With that said, keep in mind you are human, nobody expects you to be perfect.

[Takumi]

I just got back from a newly closed thread about Sh Hamzah Yusuf.

I recommend members to read all the posts in that thread to learn how not to respond.

Name calling and lateral reciprocation is never good for fostering brotherhood.

In lieu of that, there are others who are just there to add fuel to fire and does not do anything except aggravate the matter.

Assumptions like, "what do wanna marry the sheik or something d*** you sound like a enviouse wife or somethin", I believe is not necessary to prove a point, come to think of it, for what purpose does it serve?

Personalized comments like, "Sounds to me like a groupie" also incites animosity and IMHO does not bring anything to the discussion except ill feelings.

Labelling, I would advise all sincere seekers of knowledge to not pay any attention to Br.***** post(s) since he falls into the Wahabi category.: What good does it serve?

Begin in The Name of Allah, The Most Compassionate and The Most Merciful

9 If two parties among the Believers fall into a quarrel, make ye peace between them: but if one of them transgresses beyond bounds against the other then fight ye (all) against the one that transgresses until it complies with the command of Allah; but if it complies then make peace between them with justice and be fair: for Allah loves those who are fair (and just).

10 The Believers are but a single Brotherhood: So make peace and reconciliation between your two (contending) brothers; and fear Allah, that ye may receive Mercy.

11 O ye who believe! Let not some men among you laugh at others: It may be that the (latter) are better than the (former): Nor let some women laugh at others: It may be that the (latter are better than the (former): Nor defame nor be sarcastic to each other, nor call each other by (offensive) nicknames: Ill-seeming is a name connoting wickedness, (to be used of one) after he has believed: And those who do not desist are (indeed) doing wrong.

Al Hujurat.

This islamicboard is a tool. It's not a goal.

Type. Read. Think. Re-think. Re-think. Re-read.Be Mindful of Allah. Post.

[Takumi]

It was a joy to read all the posts in this thread. I'm sorry that it has not picked up since 2006! I haven't had the time to read all the other posts. :-)