Marriage Forum

[Z]

Salaam

It's all too serious. Look at it, bunch of teenagers getting all these weird fantasy-like thoughts in their minds about marriage. Do something better, read a book or something.

The moderators need to cut down on who can create topics in this forum. Maybe those over 16 only. And not to go slack on them either, each topic needs to have a strong purpose, and somewhat an outcome. A proper one. Not I just wanted to find out if people would marry a woman who can't cook or not.

Please for the love of God, do something about these silly marriage topics.

[papa_smurf]

Salaam

It's all too serious. Look at it, bunch of teenagers getting all these weird fantasy-like thoughts in their minds about marriage. Do something better, read a book or something.

The moderators need to cut down on who can create topics in this forum. Maybe those over 16 only. And not to go slack on them either, each topic needs to have a strong purpose, and somewhat an outcome. A proper one. Not I just wanted to find out if people would marry a woman who can't cook or not.

Please for the love of God, do something about these silly marriage topics.

At last somone thinks, how i think.

[BlissfullyJaded]

:sl:

Aye, aye bro Z.

But, aren't most of the members 16 and above anyways? :?

[aamirsaab]

:sl:
I propose an alternative, how bout we make the marriage forum like the bro's and sisters sub forum. I.e. make it available for over 16's or something? That way we wont get tiddiewinks asking strange questions like where do babies come from and all that pish-posh.

I'm sure the mod's can make it so that that forum checks the user's age and then shows it as unlocked.

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[Malaikah]

salam

i agree.. that section is a bit over-done

[Halima]

:sl:



I understand what you are saying, because some of the questions can be ridiculous (no offence) hence the discussion will get out of hand. I think alot of these questions are simply common sense question some of them dont have to involve the whole forum. Everyone is going to marry someone different and that is fact. It doesnt take the whole world to ask a simple question.



I don't think its a good idea to limit the topics for 16 years old and over becuase you can just have any member post and say they are 16+. How would we know that they are truly 16+? Mind you, not everyones age is registered in their profile.

:w:

[Halima]

same can be the case for the gender sections.
n tht's more serious.

Yeah it violates the rule big time.

will u remove those ? :offended:

Remove what their ages? Yeah it is possible for them to altercate their ages but as for the gender cases they would be caught right on the spot. You'd best believe.

[sonz]

:sl:



I understand what you are saying, because some of the questions can be ridiculous (no offence) hence the discussion will get out of hand. I think alot of these questions are simply common sense question some of them dont have to involve the whole forum. Everyone is going to marry someone different and that is fact. It doesnt take the whole world to ask a simple question.



I don't think its a good idea to limit the topics for 16 years old and over becuase you can just have any member post and say they are 16+. How would we know that they are truly 16+? Mind you, not everyones age is registered in their profile.

:w:

salama

i agree with mod halima

:thumbs_up

[MetSudaisTwice]

salam
mashallah sis halima true and well said
it is important for genuine people to ask for help or guidance and those of young age to learn the etiquettes of marriage
also it is the responsibility of members to post sensibly and should be relevant too
wasalam

[Takumi]

I say, let them squabble and then refer them to the HNTBE thread. :)

Seriously folks, kids/teenagers have opinions too and many of us kids have our opinions and ideals about marriage due to our reading, attending weddings and maybe talking to our elders and MOST OF THE TIME witnessing it in our daily lives in our family.

Everyone needs to be heard. Kids to adults alike. Maybe we need some guidance on HOW to post? It's bad enough that most adults shun away kids and teenagers which is really bad, we can try and channel their thoughts and opinions to more appropriate style.

Come on, this is not British Parliament or the US Congress, people DO get emotional and personal and that's why we have that tiny little red box to report personal attacks and spam and whatever we deemed irrelevant and un"constitutional" :p

and that's why we have mods. :)

[MetSudaisTwice]

salam
it is also natural for a youth to think about marriage as it is the norm of thier life
bro takumi what is HNTBE thread?
wasalam

[Takumi]

salam
it is also natural for a youth to think about marriage as it is the norm of thier life
bro takumi what is HNTBE thread?
wasalam

HNTBE = How NOT to be emotional. :p

[Halima]

:sl:


I agree it is natural and they do have to learn but I mean come on, not to ask such questions that require common sense. The whole jist of that section is to generate benefical topics of what marriage in Islam is all about. Seriously its like right now you can go into that section and ask the questions as if one is already looking for a marriage partner. This marriage section is not made to present publically which qualites you are looking for in a spouse or which qualities that you have to offer. No. If one wants to get married then go to a mosque but not to ask random common sense type questions here.


:w:

[Takumi]

:sl:

I agree it is natural and they do have to learn but I mean come on, not to ask such questions that require common sense. The whole jist of that section is to generate benefical topics of what marriage in Islam is all about. Seriously its like right now you can go into that section and ask the questions as if one is already looking for a marriage partner. This marriage section is not made to present publically which qualites you are looking for in a spouse or which qualities that you have to offer. No. If one wants to get married then go to a mosque but not to ask random common sense type questions here.
:w:

I like your reasoning.

Next time, if a topic is being introduced and it's irrelevant to the jist of the section, just delete them. :)

And make this goal public, maybe it is, I don't know. I should know. :)

[Ghazi]

I like your reasoning.

Next time, if a topic is being introduced and it's irrelevant to the jist of the section, just delete them. :)

And make this goal public, maybe it is, I don't know. I should know. :)

Salaam

Simply moving the thread would be good enough.

[Z]

Salaam.

Ok, maybe not limit who can create topics in that forum, but I most certainly think each topic should be reviewed carefully and it must serve a purpose. A proper one, and not the like the ones we see right now.

It would be a good idea to first of all compile a list of FAQ asked by 14 year olds when they join this forum. The topic would cover all the usual asked questions. That way each new stupid question can be referred to that topic.

Ofcourse, if someone asks 'will you marry a woman who has breast feeding problems', i'd expect it to be deleted. Ofcourse it's a perfect question to ask for a 14 year old, but what on earth makes them ask such a question? Has he just been thinking about breasts? About women breast feeding? About what if his wife won't be able to breastfeed?

I'm sure you'll get the idea, this is getting way out of hand. Someone needs to lock down on these weird kids and their fantasy thoughts.

[Ghazi]

Salaam

Firstly I'd like to say, that youth today might ask some odd questions but this is do to a lack of knowladge, and I think we should answer questions asked as long as their not desrespectful.

[Z]

Salaam.

If only questions were answered. They aren't. They are discussed. I think you overlooked a few things in my post.

[Ghazi]

Salaam

Same thing

[Tasneem]

:sl:
I propose an alternative, how bout we make the marriage forum like the bro's and sisters sub forum. I.e. make it available for over 16's or something? That way we wont get tiddiewinks asking strange questions like where do babies come from and all that pish-posh.

I'm sure the mod's can make it so that that forum checks the user's age and then shows it as unlocked.

Yeah but what about the members here who are under 16????

Its like discrimanation

SaLaMz

[Z]

Salaam.

No it's not the same thing.

[Z]

Salaam.

What? What about those who can't smoke under 16? That discrimination too? It's for their own good.

[sonz]

exactly

its discrimination

i think we shuld let every1 ask qs as long as its okay.

there r no such things as stupid qs.

we should help each other out instead of looking down on each other.

the only thing i dont like is if its not islam related and sometimes u make such topics too Z such as "favorite pizza"


masalama

[Tasneem]

Salaam.

What? What about those who can't smoke under 16? That discrimination too? It's for their own good.

Thats diffrent

SaLaMz

[Z]

Salaam.

You see, that topic was created because of the topics which were going round at the time. Pointless. Get the idea? Guess not.

This board needs a new agenda. Another one.

[Tasneem]

exactly

its discrimination

i think we shuld let every1 ask qs as long as its okay.

there r no such things as stupid qs.

we should help each other out instead of looking down on each other.

the only thing i dont like is if its not islam related and sometimes u make such topics too Z such as "favorite pizza"


masalama

Yes-

There is no such thing as a stupid question

We all must learn

Thats what this forum is all about...right???:?

Helping each other

SaLaMz

[Z]

Salaam.

If these questions were asked, and for some reason discussed on till someone starts flirting in the topic and then gets back on it, how long does it take to answer? 100 replies? 200 replies? Surely the questions must've been answered by then, yet the topics are still open. Open for more discussion. Can't they just be closed?

Salaam.

I don't know what you can learn by asking other people if they would marry a woman who can't cook. Guess some people have not yet opened their eyes yet.

[Tasneem]

The ones that are well...

Ummm..let me see..

Inappropriate should just be closed

SaLaMz

[MetSudaisTwice]

salam
this thread is turning more into a comments and suggestions thread, if you have a say then say it all once, there is no need to drag it so much by replying many times
barakallah feekum
wasalam

[Tasneem]

same can be the case for the gender sections.
n tht's more serious.

will u remove those ? :offended:

Yeah-

Cant a guy sign up as a woman????:?

SaLaMz

[sonz]

Salaam.

You see, that topic was created because of the topics which were going round at the time. Pointless. Get the idea? Guess not.

This board needs a new agenda. Another one.

good excuse....NOT

so many topics were deleted cuz of u just like the aishwarya topic whic was totaly pointless and doesnt belong in muslim forum.

all am saying is. first look at urself before u comment about other people. ur so synical

[Z]

Salaam.

Thank you for the advice. Sincerely.

[sapphire]

aint a bad idea...think us youngsters visit the mariage section to much and dunno what we talk about...guess 16 is a good age although ppl mature and come to understanding at different ages.....

[Z]

Salaam.

You're right, sapphire. A better idea would be allow all members equal right to ask their question even if they are weird, and discussed for too long, the topic should be closed right away.

Too long would be when members start doing a little flirting.

I think the moderators and admins know the case now, and hopefully they came come to a conclusion.

[Halima]

u signed up as a woman ?
u can be a guy.
n v cant know.

Once they give the reason and it sounds little off then we can get suspicious. (for gender sections that is)

[aamirsaab]

:sl:
I don't mind people asking questions, but come on. Why the heck would [edited] want to know all this stuff about marriage - the stuff they are asking they won't need to know for atleast 10 more years anyway, by then they would have matured enough to know the answer making the question pointless in the first place unless of course it is a serious question and not a hypothetical one (much like the ones found in the marriage sub-section).

Look, I already posted some of the marriage forum stats. It's ridiculously huge - probably has more topics/threads in it than any other sub-forum. And with evidence from a recent poll, majority of the users on this forum are pretty young (i'm talking 10 onwards - 10!) Alot of these members have such fantasies about marriage - it's considerably harder than what you have read on the fairy tales, let me assure you. Jeez, there's like a crapload you have to do before the marriage, even more to do whilst getting married and god-knows how much AFTER your married. So chill out young'uns.

There is a time and place for knowledge of marriage. It's called a year before you get engaged. Or 20 mins before nikah.... if you are really unlucky. :)

[Muhammad]

:sl:

Salaam.Ok, maybe not limit who can create topics in that forum, but I most certainly think each topic should be reviewed carefully and it must serve a purpose. A proper one, and not the like the ones we see right now.

Jazakallahu Khayr for bringing this issue to our attention. I agree with you completely that the marriage section does tend to to produce many unbeneficial or unnecessary threads/posts.

It would help the staff on the forum if members first thought about the thread they create and the posts which they send forward BEFORE actually doing so. So with staff checking threads in a combined effort with members taking control of their own actions, I believe the forum can head towards improvement.

Thankyou all for your concern and advice; Insha'Allaah we will take this on board and keep more eyes on the section.

:w:

[Tasneem]

u signed up as a woman ?
u can be a guy.
n v cant know.

No-

Why would i have to lie about my gender???:? :offended:

Wallahi(i swear by Allah) im a woman

SaLaMz

[Halima]

No-

Why would i have to lie about my gender???:? :offended:

Wallahi(i swear by Allah) im a woman

SaLaMz

Sister its ok. Mod Zak was just making a point.

BarakAllahu feekum.

[Issa]

:sl:


I agree it is natural and they do have to learn but I mean come on, not to ask such questions that require common sense. The whole jist of that section is to generate benefical topics of what marriage in Islam is all about. Seriously its like right now you can go into that section and ask the questions as if one is already looking for a marriage partner. This marriage section is not made to present publically which qualites you are looking for in a spouse or which qualities that you have to offer. No. If one wants to get married then go to a mosque but not to ask random common sense type questions here.


:w:

I think that we should remember that what is common sense to adults isn't always common sense for teens. Also, even though a question like " would anyone marry a woman who doesn't cook?" is kinda silly, it could be that the person is feeling inadequate. I sometimes have those moments ( but i save those questions for sisters at the masjid, lol!;D )

[afriend]

:sl:
I propose an alternative, how bout we make the marriage forum like the bro's and sisters sub forum. I.e. make it available for over 16's or something? That way we wont get tiddiewinks asking strange questions like where do babies come from and all that pish-posh.

I'm sure the mod's can make it so that that forum checks the user's age and then shows it as unlocked.

LOL

only matured people can enter........That's my proposal......Cos u don't have to be over 16 to be matured, people do mature from the age of 13 as well u know

[Tasneem]

Yes-

Ppl.can mature even before 16

You have 8 yr.olds now that are mature

SaLaMz

[TabTabiun]

As-Salaam Walikum
I do NOT Think that it is appropriate for people to just simply post NUISANCE Posts... Such as pizza2006 I mean what is the whole PURPOSE Of This Thread?
~~~As-Salaam Walikum~~~