View Full Version : it's hard to be patient when parents are old
faizacadday
01-27-2006, 11:37 PM
:sl: :sl:
I would like to begin this subject by saying i love my parents with all my heart. and nothing they do will make me feel any other way. My dad is like 70 or 80 somethin and my mom like is 60 something. My dad denies that he's that old....lol anyways at their age they yell about everything wheather it is small or big situation. My dad loves to agrue about the cabnets in the kicten beging open.( can't stop laughing about that)..or or if there's one cloth of clothing in the bathroom or the light in my room being on. i tell him that it's no biggyy i explain to him there's more to life than agruing about things this kind ...I know as parents get older the children are suppose to be all patient and everything but its soo hard... i hate to talk back to them and when things like this come up i just get up and do it so they stop yelling
What Am Asking is, is there anything else that i can do ?
And one big problem i have with my mother is that she loves to compare others to me....telling me that this girl and that girl have done this or that and then asking me "when are u going to do something.".lol it was funny the first couple times but not anymore ...... the only way of not facing all this problem is for me to get a job.......but i just want to relax a couple of hours when i come from school?
hope u can help :? :w: :w:
Reply
Login/Register to hide ads. Scroll down for more posts
iqbal_ibn_adam
01-28-2006, 12:04 AM
:sl:
First of all you should count yourself lucky that u have parents of that age, and Allah (swt) has given you the chance to serve them.
Below are some verses of Al-Quran that tell us how to deal with our parents
“say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour.
And lower unto them the wing of submission and humility through mercy” [al-Israa’ 17:23-24]
Every kind of annoying one's parents, whether in word or deed, is an act of disobedience which means that the child is a sinner, because it goes against the command and prohibition of Allaah, Who has commanded us to speak to them kindly and treat them kindly. It is forbidden to dishonour them by saying or doing bad things to them.
InshA have Sabar and jannah will be your abode.Ameen :)
:w:
Reply
Snowflake
01-28-2006, 10:19 AM
:sl: Dear sis,
Your parents won't be around forever. They are already old and only Allah knows how much time they have left in this world. Please make the most of it. And if you don't want them to take notice of little things, then you should let it go aswell.
Trust me when parents tell you to do, or not do something, there is great wisdom behind it. If your father says to close the cupboard/cabinet doors, it's because he does not want anyone to get hurt, by bumping into them.
If he tells you to switch off lights when not in use, it's because he's trying to keep the bills low. Trying seeing things from their points of view and they won't look so bad. You'd do the same if you had to pay bills. Trust me.
I'm always telling my son to switch off the light when he leaves a room-and I'm not even old.
Try to have more patience sis. Appreciate them being with you up until now. Make them happy and relaxed by doing little things like giving them foot massages/head massages.. old folk especially love them. They will give you duaa and with your tender care, maybe feel more relaxed and not yell so much. Bring flowers for your mom and watch her heart melt ;) (Don't wait until Mother's Day. In Islam a mother should be shown how important and loved she is every single day, not once in a year.
Kind Treatment of Parents at Old Age
It is narrated that the Prophet, (salAllahu alayhi wasalam), repeated' "May he be humbled (or cursed)," three times. When he was asked to whom was he referring, he said, "The one who witnesses one or both parents live to old age, and does not enter Paradise (by not serving them and not treating them with ihsan)".
[Muslim]
:w:
Reply
faizacadday
01-28-2006, 07:40 PM
thank you iqbal_ibn_adam and Nadia I really appreciate the comments u have for me thanks for taking the time. :sl:
Reply
Welcome, Guest!
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up
afriend2
01-28-2006, 08:00 PM
salaam,
i think this is best suited to your situation...
"Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or more attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor. And out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say, "my Lord! bestow on them Thy Mercy, even as they cherished me in childhood." (Quran 17: 23,24)
well that basically says it all, :)
wassalam
Reply
iqbal_ibn_adam
01-28-2006, 08:19 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by
faizacadday
thank you iqbal_ibn_adam and Nadia I really appreciate the comments u have for me thanks for taking the time. :sl:
:sl:
you are most welcome sis. Keep up the good work inshA.
:w:
Reply
Snowflake
01-29-2006, 08:31 PM
You're welcome sis. may Allah reward you in your efforts-ameen
Reply
samina1
01-29-2006, 08:39 PM
salam
parents.. wht can i say abt parents.. i ones had one but not anymore.. i ones thought i had one, but not really i didnt.. sometimes whn u think u have something n really u dont have it.. it hurts.. i was adopted i dont knw anythin abt parents.. but i can tell u one thing..havin parents is da biggest gift u can get from allah.. bcz without mom n dad in this dunya its hard to live.. u can have money, u can get a lover, but u cant get parents love ones thy r gone.. so to those of u who have parents plz... take care of ur parents n show thm hw percious thy mean to u in this dunya.. thts my advice to u all...
ma salam
Reply
Snowflake
01-29-2006, 09:01 PM
Oh sis my heart goes out to you. Keep strong sis, only Allah knows the reasons for whatever has happened.It may be that this was the best for you. He will reward you for your suffering inshaAllah. Take care.
Reply
Lateralus63
01-31-2006, 01:35 PM
:sl:
Being annoyed by parents isnt really a big "trouble" because it happens everywhere. You just have to learn to put up with it, because when you age you might be as snappy as them.
Reply
DaNgErOuS MiNdS
01-31-2006, 01:41 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by
Lateralus63
:sl:
Being annoyed by parents isnt really a big "trouble" because it happens everywhere. You just have to learn to put up with it, because when you age you might be as snappy as them.
agreed :thumbs_up
Reply
MetSudaisTwice
01-31-2006, 01:42 PM
salam
they are your parents, no matter what age or look they are, they have cared for you when you was young, so treating them bad just because they are old is totally ungrateful and selfish. you shouldn't even be thinking of them being a burden on you becasue without parents where would you be? paradise lies under the feet of your mother
wasalam
Reply
mizan_aliashraf
01-31-2006, 02:26 PM
Salam
This thread brings tears to my eyes. My parents were especially patient with me. I was born completely blind and had to go through serious surgery when i was only 3 months old. Now, aged 22, and after 17 major operations with my parents by my side, i know i have to show them my utmost respect and patience. Indeed, paradise lies beneath the feet of your mother.
Wassalam
Reply
papa_smurf
01-31-2006, 05:11 PM
:sl:
From what i gather the poorer and less resourceful class of people pay more attention to their parents and other elderly individuals and express more sympathy, love and sincerety. Like many of us, accumulation of wealth becomes a curse if human relations are ignored. To such persons family life is full of strife and turmoil. (Thats how people in indo-pak thinks of me)
I experienced a whole new side when i visited my pops village in india a couple of month's back. I usually joke around with my pops on a huge scale, i also count him as a best friend, but this all backlashed on my visit to India:rollseyes , where the people couldn't beleive as to how i was behaving with my pops. I for sure know pops dont mind, he often cheers me up when im at work with a quick call etc etc. I was told to respect my dad (that i do), and telling my pops to be strict with me.:heated:. These people dont understand the relationship we have as a father and son, and pops just tells me to ignore them, but how can you!!:grumbling . Me and my pops often go out in jammats, help the muslim community as best as we can, and people back in india tells me basic islamic rulings, as if i am a kid. They often tell my pops that im spoiled cause i have money. What!!:grumbling
Nothing will change the way i behave with my pops as he loves me and i love him.:)
Reply
modez
01-31-2006, 06:14 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by
papa_smurf
:sl:
From what i gather the poorer and less resourceful class of people pay more attention to their parents and other elderly individuals and express more sympathy, love and sincerety. Like many of us, accumulation of wealth becomes a curse if human relations are ignored. To such persons family life is full of strife and turmoil. (Thats how people in indo-pak thinks of me)
I experienced a whole new side when i visited my pops village in india a couple of month's back. I usually joke around with my pops on a huge scale, i also count him as a best friend, but this all backlashed on my visit to India:rollseyes , where the people couldn't beleive as to how i was behaving with my pops. I for sure know pops dont mind, he often cheers me up when im at work with a quick call etc etc. I was told to respect my dad (that i do), and telling my pops to be strict with me.:heated:. These people dont understand the relationship we have as a father and son, and pops just tells me to ignore them, but how can you!!:grumbling . Me and my pops often go out in jammats, help the muslim community as best as we can, and people back in india tells me basic islamic rulings, as if i am a kid. They often tell my pops that im spoiled cause i have money. What!!:grumbling
Nothing will change the way i behave with my pops as he loves me and i love him.:)
stick 2 your own ways brother, its cool to have a father like that
Reply
nurul3eyn
01-31-2006, 08:13 PM
you are so lucky sister faiza,,,,to have your parents alhamdullillah. when I was born my father(Allah ya rahma) was in his 50s and he wasn’t energetic like any other 50 year old man,,,I use to nurse him and take care of him never regretted any minute and praying to God that he gets better but that never happened,, So overall, I'm a little different than your average 21 year old; in the way I grew up and my outlooks and views on life..but the again alhamdulillah cant complain there are people who lost their parents, families, friends, relatives due to war and earthquakes ..
so don’t take things for granted sis just be thankful insha’allah everything will be fine :):):)
wa salam
Reply
faizacadday
02-01-2006, 05:44 AM
Thanks to everyone who wrote back.. it's nice to know how u feel about this subject and i loved reading ur comments i liked it cuz it gave me a new prespective on how everyone views their parents...
thank you everyone
:wasalamex
Reply
papa_smurf
02-05-2006, 04:22 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by
faizacadday
Thanks to everyone who wrote back.. it's nice to know how u feel about this subject and i loved reading ur comments i liked it cuz it gave me a new prespective on how everyone views their parents...
thank you everyone
:wasalamex
:sl:
Hope u dont mind me asking, u stated that your mums 80!, does that make u the oldest member on this board :X .
Reply
faizacadday
02-08-2006, 02:38 AM
no loooooooool i'm the younest in my family am 20 now. i've 3 step brother's and one step sis from my dad side the eldest is i thinks 48 the next 44,38,32. i also have a step sis from my mom side she's 30 something. i have to 2 older sister's one is 24, and the other one is 22. :heated: crazy huh i know (this family would have been bigger but six kids passed way before i was even born)
And i also have way i mean way way too many cousins. :rollseyes :heated:
but i :loving: them all even though they drive me crazy:loving:
Reply
Snowflake
02-13-2006, 05:07 PM
I collected the following for a leaflet. But thought I'd post them here anyway.
It was narrated that Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: A man came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said, “O Messenger of Allaah, who among people is most deserving of my good company?” He said, “Your mother.” He asked, “Then who?” He said, “Your mother.” He asked, “Then who?” He said, “Your mother.” He asked, “Then who?” He said, “Then your father.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 5626; Muslim, 2548)
Allah Ta’ala says in the Holy Qur’an, “Say (O beloved Prophet): Come, I will recite to you what your Lord has forbidden you: that you associate nothing with Him and that you do good to parents…” (6:151). Allah Ta’ala also says, “And we have enjoined upon man concerning his parents: his mother bore him in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Therefore, show gratitude to Me and to both your parents: unto Me is the eventual journeying.” (31:14)
Quran.
"Your Lord has commanded that you worship none but Him, and that you be kind to your parents. If either or both of them reach old age with you, do not say to them any word of contempt, nor repulse them, but address them in terms of honor, and out of kindness lower to them your wings of submission, and say, 'My Lord, have mercy on them as they cared for me in my childhood"' (17:23-24).
the Holy Quran recalls the covenant the Sons of Israel held with Allah (SWT): "And (remember) when We took a covenant from the Children of Israel, (saying): Worship none but Allah and be good to parents…"(2:83). (5) As presented in the above verse, this message was not only revealed to Prophet Muhammad (PBUH&HP), rather it was identically revealed to all prophets.
Allah (SWT) has disallowed us from saying even the smallest thing that might upset our parents. Imam Sadiq (PBUH) interprets this verse (17:23) and says: "If there was any word tinier than 'Fie' to upset one's parents, Allah would have banned people from using that." (10)
''They ask you as to what they should spend in charity. Say: Whatever wealth you spend, it should be for the parents and the near of kin and the orphans and the needy and the wayfarer, and whatever good you do, Allah surely knows it.'' (The Holy Quran, 2:215)
''Say: Come I will recite what your Lord has forbidden to you-- that you do not associate anything with Him and show kindness to your parents, and do not slay your children for (fear of) poverty; We provide sustenance for you and for them. Do not approach the shameful deeds, whether open or secret; and do take life, which Allah has made sacred except for the requirements of justice; This He has command you, with that you may understand.'' (The Holy Quran, 6:151)
''And if they tried that you should associate with Me what you have no knowledge of (but you know this is wrong), do not obey them; and keep company with them in this world kindly… '' (The Holy Quran, 31:15)
7- ''And We have enjoined on man doing of good to his parents; with trouble did his mother bear him, and with trouble did she bring him forth; and the bearing of him and the breastfeeding of him was thirty months…'' (The Holy Quran, 46:15)
8- ''And We have enjoined man in respect of his parents: his mother bears him with travail upon travail, and his breastfeeding takes two years. (We enjoined him) Be grateful to Me and to both your parents; to Me is the eventual return.'' (The Holy Quran, 31:14)
9- ''Your Lord has commanded that you worship none but Him, and that be kind to your parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt (Fie), nor shout at them, but address them in terms of fine, correct and honorable words.'' (The Holy Quran, 17:23)
11- ''And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility…'' (The Holy Quran, 17:24)
Abu Hurairah reported that a man came to the Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) and asked: "O Messenger of Allah, who is the person who has the greatest right on me with regards to kindness and attention?" He replied, "Your mother." "Then who?" He replied, "Your mother." "Then who?" He replied, "Your mother." "Then who?" He replied, "Your father."
In another tradition, the Prophet advised a believer not to join the war against the Quraish in defense of Islam, but to look after his mother, saying that his service to his mother would be a cause of his salvation. Mu'awiyah, the son of Jahimah, reported that Jahimah came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and said, " Messenger of Allah! I want to join the fighting (in the path of Allah) and I have come to seek your advice." He said, "Then remain in your mother's service, because Paradise is under her feet."
"O you who believe! Save yourselves and your families from a fire whose fuel is men and stones, over which are set angels strong and severe, who do not disobey Allah in what He commands them, but do as they are commanded." Holy Qur'an (68:6)
Our Lord! Forgive me and my parents and believers on the day when the account is cast. [14:41]
Reply
Kittygyal
02-13-2006, 05:09 PM
wow very intresting thread :)
keep it real!!!!!!!!!!
Reply
j50yab
02-16-2006, 11:27 PM
:sl:
Dear Sister
Can you remember the day you were born?
Can you remember the days when you went hungry?
Can you remember how hard your parents had to work to clothe you?
Can you remeber all those sleepless nights you gave your Mum & Dad?
Can you remember the worry on their faces when you were ill?
Can you remember the smiles on their faces when they made time to play with you?
Can you remember them teaching you about Islam?
Can you remember the sacrifices they have made for you?
My dear sister in Islam, now is the time to repay our parents for what they did for us when we were born. In some respects they (our parents) are reverting back into children with the amount of care they need in their final years.
Please be patient and remember that one day you too will have children of your own, Insha Allah. How would you want them to treat you?
Reply
iqbal_ibn_adam
02-17-2006, 08:43 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by
j50yab
:sl:
Dear Sister
Can you remember the day you were born?
Can you remember the days when you went hungry?
Can you remember how hard your parents had to work to clothe you?
Can you remeber all those sleepless nights you gave your Mum & Dad?
Can you remember the worry on their faces when you were ill?
Can you remember the smiles on their faces when they made time to play with you?
Can you remember them teaching you about Islam?
Can you remember the sacrifices they have made for you?
My dear sister in Islam, now is the time to repay our parents for what they did for us when we were born. In some respects they (our parents) are reverting back into children with the amount of care they need in their final years.
Please be patient and remember that one day you too will have children of your own, Insha Allah. How would you want them to treat you?
Subhanallah very good thoughts and advice
Reply
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.
When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up
Similar Threads
-
Replies: 4
Last Post: 10-21-2009, 12:52 AM
-
Replies: 7
Last Post: 12-23-2007, 09:56 PM
-
Replies: 0
Last Post: 12-02-2007, 06:06 PM
-
Replies: 6
Last Post: 07-04-2006, 03:15 PM
-
Replies: 9
Last Post: 03-18-2006, 02:35 AM
Powered by vBulletin® Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.