PDA

View Full Version : so what shall I do about my mum then,



saidah_ahmed
02-04-2008, 09:18 PM
this is really embarrassing as there's gossiping around my neighbourhood about my mum. i'm scared of talking to an imam in case she finds out and gets angry at me. I asked her to mix with the muslim sisters but she started arguing at me and opposed to the fact she doesn't want to. I prayed and prayed but nothing. What shall I do this is really embarrassing cos of the gossiping about my mum. what shall I talk to her about. I can't wait until she gets bored of getting drunk and partying with western culture. please help me.
Reply

Login/Register to hide ads. Scroll down for more posts
qassy!
02-07-2008, 01:44 AM
go and speak 2 the poeple who are gossiping and show them whos boss seriouslly thats what I would do
Reply

------
02-07-2008, 06:55 PM
:salamext:

*BUMP*
Reply

aadil77
02-07-2008, 06:59 PM
:sl:

Lol, If my mum was like that I would cage her!
Reply

Welcome, Guest!
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up
------
02-07-2008, 07:00 PM
:salamext:

Plz give some constructive advice brothers and sisters.
Reply

nonimus
02-07-2008, 11:35 PM
Hello brother. I had a similar problem with my wife. Unfortunatley there is not much you can do. Its a bit of a catch 22. Goign to 'show them who is boss' is not something that would be encouraged by muslims. You must be humble and pious. We cannot stop people from gossiping. We know that gossiping is not permitted, the poeple who gossip will be eating the cropse of the people whom the spoke about. Remeber this. Try and speak to her, but do not be as extreme as saying that she should disown her firends all together. It will be a slow approach. Advise your mum that you are unhapy at what she is doing and it hurts you and as a son you do not like to see your mum like this. Ask her if she can atleast stop the drinkign. Then once that hurdle has been crossed, talk to her about living the western lifestyle. Tell her this upsets you as well etc etc. Motheres in their nature love their children and never want to hurt them. You must use this to your advantage to help her. Keep praying to allah, he is most forgiving most mercifull and inshalla your prayers will be answered. I will make du'a for you and for your mother. Please be patient brother. Allah has an amazing way of showing us things that we do not realise at the time. If anything, this may make you closer to allah, and that is not a bad thing.
Best of luck to you inshallah.
Reply

nonimus
02-07-2008, 11:37 PM
And do not worry about speaking to an imam. They will give you great advice, but they may try and ask you to bring her in so they can speak to her which will not help. Just go speak to them for advice. They will be confidential.
THey will never speak about your problems to anyone other than allah inshallah.
Reply

AvarAllahNoor
02-08-2008, 12:15 AM
Originally Posted by saidah_ahmed
This is really embarrassing as there's gossiping around my neighbourhood about my mum. i'm scared of talking to an imam in case she finds out and gets angry at me. I asked her to mix with the muslim sisters but she started arguing at me and opposed to the fact she doesn't want to. I prayed and prayed but nothing. What shall I do this is really embarrassing cos of the gossiping about my mum. what shall I talk to her about. I can't wait until she gets bored of getting drunk and partying with western culture. please help me.
Thats unfortuntate.

It's not an easy task, but drinking isn't the ideal. You'll need to get through to her in a kindly manner, ranting and raving will just make her rebel more (lol it's the kind of thing kids do) Try to get some of the Islamic sisters to befriend her and then maybe she'll stop keeping bad company when she's more integrated.

Gur Fateh
Reply

FatimaAsSideqah
02-08-2008, 12:32 AM
As Salaam Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu

Prophet Muhammad is our model and example in showing compassion about others' concerns. It was reported that Prophet Muhammad was a good listener. Allah has described his patience in listening to others in the Holy Quran.

And say,
"He is (all) ear." Say, "He listens to what is best for you: he believes in Allah, has faith in the Believers, and is a Mercy to those of you who believe."Surah Tawbah, Ayah 61

Allah has indeed heard (and accepted) the statement of the woman who pleads with thee concerning her husband and carries her complaint (in prayer) to Allah: And Allah (always) hears the arguments between both sides among you: for Allah hears and sees (all things). Surah Mujadilah, Ayah 1

Quran reminds us that in any form of counseling, or private talks, Allah is present and hears what we are saying. (58:7) Quran also teaches us that the private talk in our counseling is to help others to be righteous and to be obedient to Allah. (58:9) Any effort that we make in bringing people together is considered sadaqah, and Allah will reward us for it.

So the Imams will keep it very confidental and they've been trained by this counselling courses. Best advice for you is that you can going to talk the Imam about this and Insha'Allah they will organising for sister of Islam could help your mum to walk on the right of Path.

Insha'Allah

Allah Hafiz
Sister Fatima
Reply

Eric H
02-08-2008, 06:05 PM
Greetings and peace be with you saidah_ahmed;

Sometimes people who do these kind of things have been harmed in some way and are very troubled, you do not mention your dad.

In the spirit of praying for peace

Eric
Reply

Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up

IslamicBoard

Experience a richer experience on our mobile app!