The wife

[Cabdullahi]

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office.

After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don't follow my instructions carefully, your husband will surely die.

"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant at all times. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him.

"Don't burden him with chores. Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse. Do not nag him. Most importantly, make love to him regularly.

"If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."

On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"

"He said you're going to die," she replied.

[------]

:salamext:

:lol: that was funny :D

[al_islam]

salam

thats funny...

[Ebtisweetsam]

:giggling:
lol
poor hubby, he better not have a private chat with the doctor!

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[Firyal]

:sl:

:giggling::thumbs_up
nice one:giggling:

[Khayal]

:sl:

Nice one! :lol:

:w:

[truemuslim]

Lol!!

[lyesh]

LOL... thts true.... if she keeps on trying to save her husband then she'll die :p

[deen_2007]

omg i think im a bit slow today...i dnt get the joke!

[Na7lah]

lol ;D

[rabarbara2008]

HAHAHA great niiice I will tell my husband this joke :-)

[☆•♥°ąყ℮Տիმ°♥•☆]

:giggling:

[pasionatemumina]

Lol

[Cabdullahi]

bump

[barney]

Lol

[Sahabiyaat]

lol.

"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast.
Be pleasant at all times.
For lunch make him a nutritious meal.
For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him.
Don't burden him with chores.
Most importantly, make love to him regularly

These things, i think all wives do!

Don't discuss your problems with him; it will only make his stress worse.
Do not nag him.

these are the only ones that may be a problem lol :-\

[Cabdullahi]

nah i think all of the above is a problem for the wife

[Sahabiyaat]

what? making his dinner and being nice....husbands have a problem with this being done...really, strange.

ok lets narrow it down even further! making his dinner should be the basic thing.Now thats a lie if you say wives dont make you dinner!!

(men lie alot)

[Cabdullahi]

Everybody can be a liar,spread rumours or back chat,it is not men who are only prone to these things, women are prone too!, especially when they pick up the phone and start dialling

and you havent understood my first post but its ok

[innerawareness]

what? making his dinner and being nice....husbands have a problem with this being done...really, strange.

ok lets narrow it down even further! making his dinner should be the basic thing.Now thats a lie if you say wives dont make you dinner!!

(men lie alot)

men lie alot????????????????????????

really????????????

yep the joke was really funny....

i laughed sooooooooooooooo much!!!!

[Sahabiyaat]

Everybody can be a liar,spread rumours or back chat,it is not men who are only prone to these things, women are prone too!, especially when they pick up the phone and start dialling

and you havent understood my first post but its ok

i was joking akhee lol, but never mind! :D

[Cabdullahi]

i was joking akhee lol, but never mind! :D

Yeh i was joking too lol:coolious:

[Sahabiyaat]

nah i think all of the above is a problem for the wife

ahhh now i understand.

i dont think its such a big problem, if patience,love, ettiquete and manners are implemented on both sides, things should become easier.

anyway!! back to the joke lol.

[x-strawberry-x]

looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooolllllllllllll

[Orn]

haha! lol

[cute123]

why is it that the wife is so bad in all the jokes

[Sahabiyaat]

males complain that we have alot of bad qualities, like nagging them, and talking too much...

come to think of it even the quraan tells man to overlook his wifes faults but says nothing about the mans faults..

that and were going to be the majority of hell


:cry: are we really that bad..

[brotherinfaith]

assalamu alaikom

read the coran again because it's not as you say sister lol god didn't neglect that and it doesn't mean that women are bad at all for as you know god praised women in the coran like maryam and assia and all the faithful women but what most women can't or don't want to understand is that each one i mean men and women have different roles and responsabilities and god who created women and men knows best about the way they learn and their psychology.
as you know the woman can ask for divorce if the man is not treating her well and i think the wife can have a very strong influence on her husband if she follows the way of god and his prophet and the same for the husband so before looking at faults we should look at the good qualities and encourage the as the prophet said and did with his wives may god be pleased with them all.so we really chose what kind of husband or wife we want to be and if we don't understand who we are and what is our role we will not do it well and there will be many conflicts instead or cooperation

[Al-Zaara]

I think the original post was a joke, the thread has gone off-topic but I still want to say some things here. Pardon my harsh tone, know that I mean no harm and I am not talking to one specific person but to all. You sister Sahabiyaat, just happened to mention some things which I hear over and over again.

males complain that we have alot of bad qualities, like nagging them, and talking too much...

come to think of it even the quraan tells man to overlook his wifes faults but says nothing about the mans faults..

Woman complain men have lots of bad qualities too! I like to think humans have bad qualities, man or woman.

I think it does come through that it's two-sided, that you overlook eachother's fault/s, not only wife and husband, but fellow Muslims etc. You also have to think in which time/situation that verse was revealed or hadith and understand, nothing is always understood literally.

that and were going to be the majority of hell


:cry: are we really that bad..

Listen, it's ridiculous and pathetic to sit and wonder if our sex organs makes us good or bad, stupid or smart. In almost everything in life, striving is involved. You strive to become a good person or a better, you strive for good grades, you strive to find peace, etc. Few are born perfect, or even close. We aren't what we are just 'cause our sex organ says it, but also mentally, other physical factors, where we are in life, our hardships, what we aspire...

Why bloody wonder if women are the majority in hell, you should just hope you ain't there, woman or man, kid or adult! I seriously am over the "woman are the majority", there are said things which will help us not to go to Hell and as a matter of fact, no where does it say "You have to be a man to eneter Paradise; check?"

And as a matter of fact, that has been discussed in some thread here on LI, for example, I think you should research some more if you want the answer from the Internet, for example in the Sisters' section here on LI, it has been discussed and few were left despaired after reading those threads.

[Riyadh-ul-Jannah]

:sl:

Lol, thats funny, but before the last line, I thought it was quite serious!

:w:

[Sahabiyaat]

er ukhti Zaara...my..er..post was mostly in jest..lol you, know ha ha....lol.

anyways!

Woman complain men have lots of bad qualities too! I like to think humans have bad qualities, man or woman.

I think it does come through that it's two-sided, that you overlook eachother's fault/s, not only wife and husband, but fellow Muslims etc. You also have to think in which time/situation that verse was revealed or hadith and understand, nothing is always understood literally.

agreed :)

Listen, it's ridiculous and pathetic to sit and wonder if our sex organs makes us good or bad, stupid or smart. In almost everything in life, striving is involved. You strive to become a good person or a better, you strive for good grades, you strive to find peace, etc. Few are born perfect, or even close. We aren't what we are just 'cause our sex organ says it, but also mentally, other physical factors, where we are in life, our hardships, what we aspire...

Why bloody wonder if women are the majority in hell, you should just hope you ain't there, woman or man, kid or adult! I seriously am over the "woman are the majority", there are said things which will help us not to go to Hell and as a matter of fact, no where does it say "You have to be a man to eneter Paradise; check?"

red parts indicate where you might have got a bit heated lol. ^o):D

Pardon my harsh tone

too late, you already used the word 'bloody','ridiculous' and 'pathetic' :D

but being serious, i agree with all youve said, i just take the Quran very literally sometimes and its punishments :exhausted, so i have cause to be worried, but your right, these things should be looked into to get there real meaning,JazakAllah!

and....um...

back to the joke :D

[Olive]

LOL! Poor husband! :D

[Al-Zaara]

red parts indicate where you might have got a bit heated lol. ^o):D

I don't care. :D Yeah, back to the joke.