Blood Shone Upon my Forearm
I couldn’t take it anymore, I felt depressed, pushed away from everyone. I felt as if no one could help me with my problems, I was all alone, and I lost all hope.
That feeling came back. I pulled up my sleeve, touched my bare arm, which started to quiver, as if it knew what was coming.
‘No, I shouldn’t do this, it’s not right.’ I thought to myself.
I felt myself go weak; Shaytaan overpowered me;
‘Do it.’ He whispered.
’It’s only small, it’s not like you’re not committing a major sin…”
I grabbed the weapon from the bedside table, the weapon that helped to distract me from problems in life that was always there for me when I needed it. I placed it upon my skin. It was cold, but it felt inviting, it tempted me. I pulled it towards me whilst it was still on my skin…everything became a blur… I saw something red…
Blood shone upon my forearm.
I felt dazed. My arm started to throb. A teardrop fell upon the line of blood…as a realisation of shame and regret swept upon me. I couldn’t stop my tears, as they became a waterfall.
Ya Allaah, I don’t want to be this weak, I want to learn to accept Your will. Ya Allaah please guide me! :'(
Just a little something to show how some self harm afflicting people feel, so non-self harmers can understand.