Why dont our mums and dads understand us??

[x-madiha-x]

Assalamulaikum,
WHY DONT OUR PARENTS UNDERSTAND USS?? :?

Isnt it just really frustrating when your trying to prove something in islam to be right, and your parents just argue to the point, or deny it?
Yes, that happens to me all the time.

My name is Madiha, as maybe some of you know. I am 15 years old, and i joined this islamic forum quite a long time ago, but i didnt really post anything. Alhamdulillah, i am back on it, and would love to share many thoughts and knowledge with you.


The reason why my post is about why our parents dont understand us is because, from a young age, my parents have not really been following islam properly, and they havent taught me much about it. Its always like " Madiha read salaah", or " Madiha dont do this" , but when u force a kid to do something, they will always have something triggering the back of their mind, and theyll always think, gosh man, why is my mum, or why is my dad tellingme to do this? Its too much for me, why are they forcing me to do something i dont want to do?


With me, its partly been like that, and it partly hasnt. Since a young age, i have gone to a state school, from the age of 3 to the age of 10. Alhamdulillah, i have always wanted to know about my relegion, my faith, and ive always had an interest in it, and had many questions about it. When the interest got intense, I told my parents that i am really interested in Islam, and i really want to go close to Allah and i really wan to achieve something in life, and by then, i had found out about Islamic schools near my area. So now alhamdulillah, i am in an islamic school and i am very happy there, and all the answers to my questions there, from my teachers and my friends. I have been studying there for 4 years now,and day by day, i am learning new things and trying to teach my parents and siblings as well.


My parents have always gone with the wrong. For example, I dont go to mixed weddings, i only go to segregated ones, where the men and women are seperate, and you cant see anyone of the opposite gender. I have one younger sister who is 10 years old, and everyone older than me is married and have their own houses. So its only the four of us, my mum and dad, me and my sister.

Whenever we get an invtation card to a wedding or a party and it doesnt say anything anout segregation, i always tell my parents i dont want to go, but they dont understand. Ive told them many times that i dont want to go because its not right in Islam, and i dont beleie in going to mixed weddings. I have explained to them many times why, but still they'd tell me off,and say"Madiha you always want to do what you want, you have to stay with the parents, this is a wedding, its important blah blah blah". In this situation, for about a year i went with them, but still, i dont feel comfortable their, especially in cultural asian weddings, where men are dancing with women, i dont feel comfortable myself.


After some time, i became strong regarding this issue alhamdulillah, and i completely backed down from going to weddings like that, and now, whenever my parents attend a wedding like that, i stay at home.

This is just one issie that i try to explain to them, but im sure there are so many teenagers like me out there, trying to explain to there parents about islam, and i know, mos of them come from their countries like India, pakistan etc, and have alot of culture and traditions in them, which i think, most of the time is ridiculous.

I have had many arguments with them regarding their beleifs etc, but nothing seems to work sometimes, and i always stop and leave it, and let them do whatever they want. I am not going to give up explaining to them and showing them and getting my points across, because i have faith that maybe one day they will change inshallah.

For a few years now, ive been quite upset with the fact that, my parents dont understand me, whenenever i try and say something to them, they listen to me, but dont really want to know from heart, and pay no attension to me, and have no intension of changing and getting better, but all i can say is that, there is no point getting upset or sad to the fact that ur parents dont have the same views, and i really think that zikr and rememberance of allah has helped me alot as a young girl, to look at life from an islamic point of view.

Even though, my parents don't practise in islam, I am very happy that i am moving on forward. And great advice i can give that has helped me alot, is zikr. Zikr has made me a very spiritual person at young age alhamdulillah. And it wont just come to u like that. You need to do zikr, pray tahajjud , 5 times salaah daily, and Inshallah every one of you out there, will feel really happy with yourselves and your lives inshallah.

Thank you for reading.
wassalaam.

[Snowflake]

awww mashaAllah sis, your own personal experience of deen is beautiful mashaAllah. I know what you mean about parents following culture rather than deen but keep praying for them inshaAllah :)

[islamirama]

Wa'alikum as'salaam,

Alhamdulilalh it is good to hear you have strived hard towards your deen and akhirah. Indeed we have to take care of our future for this life is just a test. Sadly many parents these days have failed their kids and will have to answer to Allah, it's the kid's islamic right on the parents for them to teach the kids and bring them up on islam. Unfortunately that is not the case but alhamdulilalh we have kids war teaching their parents instead of returning to Islam and letting go of their cultural practices, often times which are against Islam. This is your jihad sis, keep it up and keep striving.

Dhikr of Allah is the most excellent act of Allah's servants and is stressed over a hundred times in the Holy Qur'an. It is the most praiseworthy work to earn Allah's pleasure, the most effective weapon to overcome the enemy, and the most deserving of deeds in reward. It is the flag of Islam, the polish of hearts, the essence of the science of faith, the immunization against hypocrisy, the head of worship, and the key of all success.There are no restrictions on the modality, frequency, or timing of dhikr whatsoever. The restrictions on modality pertain to certain specific obligatory acts which are not the issue here, such as Salat. The Shari`a is clear and everyone knows what they have to do. Indeed, the Prophet said that the People of Paradise will only regret one thing: not having made enough dhikr in the world! Are not those who are making up reasons to discourage others from making dhikr afraid of Allah in this tremendous matter?



Perhaps you can share this article with your parents -

http://soundvision.com/Info/parenting/teens/role.asp



Anyways, keep giving them dawaah and make dua for them inshallah, but more importantly, focus on your little sister and teach her about Islam.

[Souljette]

:sl:
i know exactly how u feel..bt after many years of explainin to my parentz noww alhamdulahh dey are strtin to understand..my mom knws now how i feel although no one else does...my broz also help me wit persuadin my parents in doin sumthngs rite nd explain why sumthngs are rong..u gotta keep standin ur ground sis..inshallah evrythng will b ok...Keep stayin strong

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[anonymous]

:salamext:

Sister, standing up for the truth, especially when it means standing against family members, is a really really difficult thing to do, and it is a very very big Jihad. Those who do this are of the strong and rare characters who get the pleasure of tasting the sweetness of Eemaan. If Allah has given you the Tawfeeq to strive to keep your deen against all odds and ends then know you are one of His special and honoured servants whom He has chosen above all. Keep steadfast and carry on, but most importantly take special care to be really kind, really helpful and really polite to your parents/family at the same time. For a beautiful Ikhlaaq is the Golden key to Da'wah :)

May Allaahs help and guidance always be with you and those in similar situations to u. Aameen!

[Souljette]

Ameen

[Danah]

sister Madiha, May Allah reward you Al Jannah and guide you to the best and to be stronger in sha Allah. You are in the right path in sha allah
hope your parents will undersatnd you more one time and become good muslims in sha allah

[anonymous]

RE: Rep; Hope you are well too brother Eric ~ blessings, anon :)

[true believer]

salam
i totally get u sis
am 15 too and trust me parents
r so frusting, they just dont listen
u tell dem stuff [islamic]
n if somethin is haram n they do it,
they will neva confess, dats it is haram.

some parents are in deniel and take only SOME
parts of da deen into their life. which ever is most
suitable 4 THEM. dat really annoys me cos u cant pick
and mix wat u think "u should or shouldnt do"

just pray for dem and make loads of duya
inshalla, they will finally accept da truth, the whole
truth lol. PEACE X

[Fishman]

:sl:
Our parents don't understand us because they had real lives and enjoyed their youth properly. I hate the modern world.
:w:

[Dr.Trax]

:sl:
I hate the modern world.
:w:

I too brother!:thumbs_up
:sl:

[Dr.Trax]

This is your jihad sis, keep it up and keep striving.

Very nice said Bro...
Don't give up Sister.
Jazakallahkhair.