PDA

View Full Version : He prevented her marriage, and this was his reward



Ummu Sufyaan
04-07-2008, 06:26 AM
:sl:
I dont know if this is really the right place... mods, please remove if necessary...
this is really sad...

يحدثنا أحد العلماء في الرياض يقول: حضرنا إلى باب المستشفيات فوجدنا رجلاً مع ابنته وهي في مرضها، وعمرها أربعين سنة لم تتزوج، كلما تقدم لها رجل رفض أبوها، يقول: كان من أطمع الناس، صاحب دنيا لكن لم تنفعه دنياه، عنده من الدور ومكاتب العقارات والسيارات والمعارض، لكنه معروف بين الناس أنه إذا زوج ابنته لا يزوجها إلا بمئات الألوف، فكلما تقدم لها شاب رفض تزويجها؛ لأن الذين تقدموا إليها شباب فقراء، وأكثر الناس أحوالهم لا تمكنهم من دفع المهور الغالية، فكلما تقدم له رجل صالح سأل عن وظيفته؟ وسياراته؟ ومرتباته؟ فإذا أخبره بأنه دون ذلك تركه، حتى وصلت إلى سن الأربعين، ثم أصابها مرض عضال، ونقلت إلى المستشفى، فلما حضرتها سكرات الموت، وهو الانتقال إلى الواحد الأحد الذي يحكم بين الخصمين ولا حاكم إلا هو، والذي ينصف المظلوم من الظالم، فلما حضرتها سكرات الموت قالت: ياأبتاه! اقترب، فاقترب منها، فقالت: قل آمين، فقال: آمين، فقالت: قل آمين فقال: آمين. -والله لقد حدثنا بها شيخ من الشيوخ الذين تقبل شهادتهم- فقالت: قل آمين، ثالث مرة، قالت: أحرمك الله الجنة كما أحرمتني لذة الزواج.
أربعين سنة تقف المرأة في بيت أبيها ماذا تنتظر؟

One of the Ulemaa from Riyaadh narrated to us saying: We went to one of the doors of the hospitals and we found a man with his daughter and she was in her illness, and her age was 40 years old and had not married. Every man who came for her, her father rejected him. He (the shaykh) said: he was from the greediest people, a person of the Dunya however his Dunya did not benefit him. He had many offices, real-estate and cars and clinics, however he was known between the people that if his daughter were to be married, he cannot marry her except with hundreds of thousands, so all of the young men who came to her rejected marrying her, because those who came for her were poor youth. And most of the conditions of the people did not allow them to pay the high mahr. So every righteous man who came he was asked about his employment and his cars and his salary and if he informed him that he did not have that then he was left, until she reached 40 years of age. Then she suffered an acute illness and was admitted to the hospital and when the time for her death came, and it is a time for meeting the One, the Only One who Judges between the parties, and there is no Judge Except Him, and the One who does Justice between the Oppressed and the Oppressor, then when the death came to meet her, she said:

O Father, come close!

So he came closer to her.

She said: Say Aameen.

So he said: Aameen.

So she said: Say Aameen.

So he said: Aameen.

-By Allaah, this was narrated to us by a Shaykh from the Mashaayikh who witnessed this-

So she said: Say Aameen three times,

Then she said: May Allaah prohibit for you Jannah as you have prohibited for me the delicacy of marriage



-Mawqi' al-Imaam al Aajurry li Tulaabul 'Ilm

:sl:
Reply

Login/Register to hide ads. Scroll down for more posts
------
04-07-2008, 08:03 AM
:salamext:

Is this true?
Reply

Ummu Sufyaan
04-07-2008, 09:08 AM
:sl:
yeah, why wouldnt it be?
there is a source
-Mawqi' al-Imaam al Aajurry li Tulaabul 'Ilm
:sunny:
Reply

Umul_Kheyr
04-07-2008, 12:20 PM
i remember i heard the excatly same in kutba in sharjah the imam based his topic on marriage and narrated this story it broke my heart :cry:
Reply

Welcome, Guest!
Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up
Al-Zaara
04-07-2008, 12:23 PM
Then she said: May Allaah prohibit for you Jannah as you have prohibited for me the delicacy of marriage
SubhanAllah, even though the love of my life would be neglected by my father because of his greed or anger and I'd have to stay alone for the rest of my life, I couldn't bear myself to utter such a dua... No, I couldn't have the heart to!!! Astagfirullah...
Reply

Ummu Sufyaan
04-07-2008, 12:27 PM
:sl:

Originally Posted by Al-Zaara

SubhanAllah, even though the love of my life would be neglected by my father because of his greed or anger and I'd have to stay alone for the rest of my life, I couldn't bear myself to utter such a dua... No, I couldn't have the heart to!!! Astagfirullah...
yeah but sis, some people just about have it to thier back teeth really... some pepole just leave you feelin cold and hostile towards them... and i couldnt either btw...
Reply

Al-Zaara
04-07-2008, 12:31 PM
Originally Posted by Ramlah
yeah but sis, some people just about have it to thier back teeth really... some pepole just leave you feelin cold and hostile towards them... and i couldnt either btw...
But her own father. Taking care of her all her life... SubhanAllah we cannot get everything in this life, marriage was not her kismet, I don't understand what brought her to say such a dua...

We don't know the whole story of course, it could be that he never made her feel loved, neglected her feelings all her life.. Maybe though, he thought for her best and was sure to find a righteous man who is also rich, to give her the life she is used to? But if this is not the case, then I don't know..

Urgh, this story made me feel ill.
Reply

Ummu Sufyaan
04-07-2008, 12:36 PM
:sl:
I don't understand what brought her to say such a dua...
this sis
however he was known between the people that if his daughter were to be married, he cannot marry her except with hundreds of thousands, so all of the young men who came to her rejected marrying her, because those who came for her were poor youth. And most of the conditions of the people did not allow them to pay the high mahr. So every righteous man who came he was asked about his employment and his cars and his salary and if he informed him that he did not have that then he was left, until she reached 40 years of age.
and another thing...do you know what marriage is like in arab culure. a women getting married at the age of 25 is old, probably even 22...what about leaving it till 40! :sunny:

We don't know the whole story of course,
why cant we take it at face value for now:?
Reply

Al-Zaara
04-07-2008, 12:41 PM
Maybe though, he thought for her best and was sure to find a righteous man who is also rich, to give her the life she is used to?

Yes, he was greedy. But for that to wish him no forgiveness and no mercy?? None of us is perfect!! Everyone makes mistakes. For that, I wish her dua wasn't answered but.. Allahu Alaam.

Originally Posted by Ramlah
and another thing...do you know what marriage is like in arab culure. a women getting married at the age of 25 is old, probably even 22...what about leaving it till 40! :sunny:
Not just Arab culture, reminds me of the Albanian and Indian culture.

Well, some never get married. It's not the end of the world.. Well, for some it might seem, but is that marriage really worth your father in Jahnnam?? Astagfirullah...

why cant we take it at face value for now:?
What does this mean? :-[
Reply

Ummu Sufyaan
04-07-2008, 12:47 PM
:sl:
Originally Posted by Al-Zaara
Well, some never get married. It's not the end of the world..
for some it maybe. why does one need to be so picky.

What does this mean? :-[
it means why is this argument getting out of its context. :sunny:

I dont mean to be rude, but please dont tell me ur disagreeing with this just because its comin out of saudi
Reply

------
04-07-2008, 12:52 PM
:salamext:

^ Its not just because its coming out of saudi. Your taking it out of context. I can see where sister Al Zaara is coming from.
Reply

Ummu Sufyaan
04-07-2008, 12:55 PM
:sl:
Your taking it out of context.
i wasnt takin out of context, i was askin a qn....

i can see where shes comin from too, as i said,
and i couldnt either btw...
however, I can get where the gils coming form too!!!
Reply

Umul_Kheyr
04-07-2008, 12:58 PM
is one allowed to make a dua against his parent though?
Reply

Ummu Sufyaan
04-07-2008, 12:59 PM
:sl:
i dunno, i was thinkin the same thing...
Reply

Al-Zaara
04-07-2008, 01:02 PM
Originally Posted by Ramlah
:sl:

for some it maybe. why does one need to be so picky.
Yeah, good question.. But argh, why does one need to be so dramatic also? People these days! :cry:

it means why is this argument getting out of its context. :sunny:

I dont mean to be rude, but please dont tell me ur disagreeing with this just because its comin out of saudi
I wasn't trying to make an debate or argument, I was so shocked, never have I heard anything like this, from Muslims. Just as Umul Kheyr just asked, is it really allowed??

You think I'm a fierce Saudi-hater, lol ! I am not.

No, it has nothing to do with the fact that it's from Saudi, or any other Arab-country.

InshaAllah this is now cleared.
Reply

Soulja Girl
04-07-2008, 01:09 PM
:sl:

Thats such a sad story. :cry:
Erm, do you think the Dua she made is accepted though? :?

:w:
Reply

Snowflake
04-07-2008, 01:37 PM
Never give your parents ba'dua (bad dua). I pray Allah forgives her for saying that and also forgives her father for denying her rights. Ameen. Sad. :(
Reply

Khayal
04-07-2008, 06:34 PM
Originally Posted by Al-Zaara

SubhanAllah, even though the love of my life would be neglected by my father because of his greed or anger and I'd have to stay alone for the rest of my life, I couldn't bear myself to utter such a dua... No, I couldn't have the heart to!!! Astagfirullah...
:sl:


Astahfirullah!! :skeleton: same here.


:w:
Reply

Danah
04-07-2008, 06:41 PM
subhan Allah, I heard this story before
jazaki allah khair sis for sharing
Reply

FatimaAsSideqah
04-07-2008, 06:42 PM
As Salaam Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu

Subhan'Allah!! So sad story! She was supposed to say by Dua, If they are misguided, guide them to You; help them be strong in Your Faith, and Remain with them. Grant them the highest level of Jannah in the Hereafter, and grant them endless peace. Don't use to against the parents by bad dua.
Reply

Ghira
04-07-2008, 09:56 PM
Interesting read indeed. I did not her dua though. I thought she was going to make dua for the father but I could also understand how she feels.
Reply

Nájlá
04-08-2008, 05:45 PM
sad story
n yeh i understand how the women feels. but no matter what she shouldnt have said a dua like this and i agree with (righteouslady) on what should the women say by dua
Reply

islamirama
04-09-2008, 05:16 AM
It is a sad story and it is a reality. In case you missed it, she said "you denied me the delicacy of marriage". The man was obviously interested in duniya and wanted a wealthy man with lots of money and other worldly goods and therefore he kept rejecting good pious people that came for her hand. He maybe her father (parent) but he denied her what was her right, he was a bad wali, and he oppressed her this way. Biggest dream any girl have is to get married, have her own family and kids and what not. He denied her that blessing with his greed of the duniya. I don't see why you lots keep saying she should've made a dua against him or i would never or this or that. The fact of the matter is, you are not her nor are you in that situation to question her, and what you say not is pointless because you yourself have no idea what you will say or do IF you were in her place.

So rather then pretend we are all experts and slice and dice this story 100 different ways, why don't we be wise and learn a lesson from this. I believe that is why the imams in their khutbah told this story, for others to heed and learn a lesson. Don't oppress your daughters nor deny them their rights out of your own greed.

Allahu alim
Reply

i_m_tipu
04-09-2008, 06:06 AM
Originally Posted by islamirama
It is a sad story and it is a reality. In case you missed it, she said "you denied me the delicacy of marriage". The man was obviously interested in duniya and wanted a wealthy man with lots of money and other worldly goods and therefore he kept rejecting good pious people that came for her hand. He maybe her father (parent) but he denied her what was her right, he was a bad wali, and he oppressed her this way. Biggest dream any girl have is to get married, have her own family and kids and what not. He denied her that blessing with his greed of the duniya. I don't see why you lots keep saying she should've made a dua against him or i would never or this or that. The fact of the matter is, you are not her nor are you in that situation to question her, and what you say not is pointless because you yourself have no idea what you will say or do IF you were in her place.

So rather then pretend we are all experts and slice and dice this story 100 different ways, why don't we be wise and learn a lesson from this. I believe that is why the imams in their khutbah told this story, for others to heed and learn a lesson. Don't oppress your daughters nor deny them their rights out of your own greed.

Allahu alim
I agree with u brother.

I saw my own elder sister. She uses to cry every midnight silently. I feelt so sad for her. She and my parent's desire level were too high... By the mercy of Allah she was married at the age of 30. No one can't understand how pain one can feel when she/he was not in the same situation.

May Allah help us to understand and follow straight path and make our desire level simple. amen
Reply

Ummu Sufyaan
04-09-2008, 09:04 AM
:sl:
Originally Posted by Al-Zaara
You think I'm a fierce Saudi-hater, lol ! I am not.
lol...and you think im a fiece suadi lover...im not :p:D

InshaAllah this is now cleared.
inshallah...:sunny:

Originally Posted by najla93
sad story
n yeh i understand how the women feels. but no matter what she shouldnt have said a dua like this and i agree with (righteouslady) on what should the women say by dua
i think were all forgetting the point of the story (including myself), which is, beware of the duaa of the oppressed. :sunny:

Originally Posted by SAYA
subhan Allah, I heard this story before
jazaki allah khair sis for sharing
no probs.
Reply

IbnAbdulHakim
04-09-2008, 09:23 AM
jazakAllah khair brom islamirama i agree

that was pure oppression, and mashaAllah she sounds pious for having sabr through it. may Allah grant her jannah (if the story is true).


Ameenn
Reply

Ebtisweetsam
04-09-2008, 11:10 AM
Does anyone know wat the Imaam had to say regarding this? I mean this is a real big burden on the father too...maybe he felt he was doing the best thing possible for his daughter?
Reply

Ummu Sufyaan
01-24-2009, 09:00 AM
:sl:
*bump
Reply

crayon
01-24-2009, 09:06 AM
I guess we don't know the full story from either the daughter's side nor the father's side, so we can't really judge fairly.

But still.... wow.:skeleton:
Reply

Malaikah
01-24-2009, 10:35 AM
Originally Posted by Ebtisweetsam
Does anyone know wat the Imaam had to say regarding this? I mean this is a real big burden on the father too...maybe he felt he was doing the best thing possible for his daughter?
How can preventing the woman from marrying, to the extent that she reachs the age of FOURTY years be best for her??
Reply

~Taalibah~
01-24-2009, 02:32 PM
Ya Rabb! That was a sad story! But that Dua....:(
Reply

Al-Zaara
01-24-2009, 02:57 PM
Originally Posted by islamirama
Biggest dream any girl have is to get married, have her own family and kids and what not.
Any girl? Biggest? Nope.


I liked the post in a way, although the message saying "don't judge, you ain't them", you're judging the father being "greedy" and and "bad wali", and his "obvious interest in dunya". We all have "obvious" interest in dunya by doing various things, but not limited to it only, in the outside maybe it might look that way for many, but it ain't true.

Oh, islamirama can't read my post. Ah well.


He might just have been confused, extremly protective and whatnot. And she might not even have said that dua exactly word for word. :ooh:

But I still stand by my previous opinion.
Reply

Ansariyah
01-24-2009, 06:58 PM
I don't get it why she made that aweful dua against her dad tho:(.
She might not have gotten a husband, maybe it was due to Allahs decree.
I know it's was wrong for him to do wat he did, but it feels so wrong. I Guess maybe he use to mistreat her too, so she learned to hate him due to the evil he showed her?

Sad story!
Reply

Ansariyah
01-24-2009, 07:12 PM
Originally Posted by Al-Zaara
But her own father. Taking care of her all her life... SubhanAllah we cannot get everything in this life, marriage was not her kismet, I don't understand what brought her to say such a dua...

We don't know the whole story of course, it could be that he never made her feel loved, neglected her feelings all her life.. Maybe though, he thought for her best and was sure to find a righteous man who is also rich, to give her the life she is used to? But if this is not the case, then I don't know..

Urgh, this story made me feel ill.
Sometimes we hear stories about parents who raise their kids well but abuse them, maybe he abused her, didn't show her any love? Allahu Allam. u know the whole wat goes around comes around, if u don't show a dog mercy, he will bite u n that. Though sometimes some people are just a certain way without having anything to do wit their upbringing.

I feel the same, it was a scary dua, but we still don't know wat really went on.
Reply

Al-Zaara
01-24-2009, 08:09 PM
^ And you know, ain't that what I agreed on there, in my post? See, you should read my post a lil bit clearer, try to see the big picture on what is said.

I stand by my opinion that if nothing worse than being greedy from his side was done, the dua was not appropriate. But I also agree and believe there are things we don't know.
Reply

Ansariyah
01-24-2009, 08:17 PM
Originally Posted by Al-Zaara
^ And you know, ain't that what I agreed on there, in my post? See, you should read my post a lil bit clearer, try to see the big picture on what is said.

I stand by my opinion that if nothing worse than being greedy from his side was done, the dua was not appropriate. But I also agree and believe there are things we don't know.
Chill sis no need to get all Huffy wit me. I was just sharing my input.

I agree wit the rest.
Reply

Al-Zaara
01-24-2009, 08:30 PM
Great, we understand each other. I just didn't want an misunderstanding, that's all. :)
Reply

Zahida
01-24-2009, 08:35 PM
:sl: I agree we don't know the whole story and we don't know how this girl felt, or what her life was like. To utter such a bud-dua though it sounds like she was bitter towards her father...............imsad Story..........:w:
Originally Posted by Al-Zaara
But her own father. Taking care of her all her life... SubhanAllah we cannot get everything in this life, marriage was not her kismet, I don't understand what brought her to say such a dua...

We don't know the whole story of course, it could be that he never made her feel loved, neglected her feelings all her life.. Maybe though, he thought for her best and was sure to find a righteous man who is also rich, to give her the life she is used to? But if this is not the case, then I don't know..

Urgh, this story made me feel ill.
Reply

Musaafirah
01-24-2009, 08:36 PM
It's freaky how I seem to agree with what Al-Zaara says, but I gotta agree with ye on this point. Regardless of what the father did, how could the daughter utter such a duah?
I know we rebel against our parents on a regular basis (well I do anyway) but that's like in little things or what not. But to utter such a du'ah?
:(
Reply

Zahida
01-24-2009, 08:42 PM
:sl: Sis every parent wants THE best for their children.......... A mother/father cannot change calamities that their children will suffer..........

[I][I]When my sis died she died in my mums lap.......... my mum still weeps and says if only she could have told the maut ka farishta to go back

As a parent i know i want the best for my daughter and will try, but the rest is her fate/kismet. Maybe the father was protecting his child, but i guess what i am trying to say is that no matter how hard we try to protect them........ what will be will be and parents cannot physically change that. No-one can.:):w:
I]QUOTE=Ebtisweetsam;925539]Does anyone know wat the Imaam had to say regarding this? I mean this is a real big burden on the father too...maybe he felt he was doing the best thing possible for his daughter?[/QUOTE]
Reply

Ummu Sufyaan
01-25-2009, 09:17 AM
:sl:
Originally Posted by Al-Zaara
Any girl? Biggest? Nope.
most girls then? oh come on, seriously ask most girls that, and that's what they'll reply with...


We all have "obvious" interest in dunya by doing various things, but not limited to it only, in the outside maybe it might look that way for many, but it ain't true.
im sorry i just dont get that. clearly the father prevented her marriage , for his selfish reasons...so, im not too sure what the ambiguity is here is all about?

Oh, islamirama can't read my post. Ah well.
ahh but i can and i shall reply on his behalf :D but funny, he replied months ago but you conveniently seemed to have missed it? pls explain...

He might just have been confused, extremly protective and whatnot. And she might not even have said that dua exactly word for word. :ooh:
no no no, reread the OP. its clear as day what the father intended.... i can tell you from being around Arabs my whole life and growing up with the culture, let me tell you- and i wouldn't be in the least surprised if most (if not all) Arabs would agree with me on this- that alot of Arab fathers ask for a huge amount---> to keep for themselves imsad

But I still stand by my previous opinion.
each to their own then :)

Originally Posted by Yanoorah
I don't get it why she made that aweful dua against her dad tho:(.
ukhtee, put yourself in her shoes :) i agree that the dua is harsh, but i will also state if someone prevented me from something i guess i longed for(as it sounded like she did), and without a good reason, then believe you me that person-yes, even if it were parents (not that they would, alhamdulillah)-would probably turn around do the same as she did...and not because im a harsh person (i hope im not :-[) but to me that person -after doing that to me-well i simply wouldn't see them as my parents, i would only see them as people who have oppressed me and that way the dua would become easy for me to say...

I Guess maybe he use to mistreat her too, so she learned to hate him due to the evil he showed her?
yh i think that'll be probably be it :)


How can preventing the woman from marrying, to the extent that she reachs the age of FOURTY years be best for her??
agreed!!! imsad
Reply

Gia
01-25-2009, 10:07 AM
She was dying, and she asked that dua'a. This indicates how hard and miserable he made her life to the extent hat she, during her last moments, chose to ask that dua'a instead of anything else.
Reply

Al-Zaara
01-25-2009, 10:13 AM
Originally Posted by Umm ul-Shaheed
:sl:
most girls then? oh come on, seriously ask most girls that, and that's what they'll reply with...
Aleykum selam we rahmetallahu,

Many girls, I can say. I just pointed out not all. I'm sorry if I meet several different kinds of girls than you do. :)

im sorry i just dont get that. clearly the father prevented her marriage , for his selfish reasons...so, im not too sure what the ambiguity is here is all about?
How do you know it was selfish? We know he wanted this and this amount of money, great amounts, but it could be another intention to it than what first meets the eye.

That is what I was trying to say in my previous post. I want a big house and a great job, I would like this and that. But why? I'd want my family to live with me. A good job so I can pay school for my youngest sister and help econimically the other, etc. At first, just saying how I wanted a big house and great job, might sound so "dunya:ish" oriented to you. But there are other intentions, more or less hidden.

We all have "obvious" interest in dunya by doing various things, but not limited to it only, in the outside maybe it might look that way for many, but it ain't true.
I do not agree with him doing it, his level was so high, I think that is misunderstood from y'all what I'm thinking of him, but from what I see there in black and white and NOT what is in the heart, the dua felt not appropriate.

ahh but i can and i shall reply on his behalf :D but funny, he replied months ago but you conveniently seemed to have missed it? pls explain...
You're being completely ridicilous and paranoid as you were when the thread was created and almost accused me for being attacking due to "Saudi" reasons. And this time 'cause a member is banned, which I first now even realized he is.

I have many threads to see and this one was not subscribed, oh I'm sorry I do not posses 50 pairs of eyes and completely browse with passion through the threads just to see what is happening to this one thread, which also doesn't possess great meaning, I believe it already has been discussed to its core.

each to their own then :)
Oh finally.
Reply

^[AnKaBooT]^
01-25-2009, 10:20 AM
She was patient all the while and in the end she lost her patience
which makes me think she will get punishment for this or not
but it was also the dads fault for asking high mahr.so maybe god just warned him so he could give his wealth to poor people and ask forgiveness.
Reply

Gia
01-25-2009, 10:36 AM
Originally Posted by ^[AnKaBooT]^
which makes me think she will get punishment for this or not
Allah does not punish people for hating to be oppressed, She was wronged and had to live a miserable life until she died.

The Prophet (SalAllahu 'alaihi wassallam) said: "Be afraid of the curse of an oppressed person as there is no screen between his invocation and Allah." (Al-Bukhari)

I think that her father forgot this, or was too selfish to remember it.
Reply

Mikayeel
01-25-2009, 11:14 AM
:sl:

I will close this thread, for one reason, its turning into a personal debate of different opinions.

The story does not clear state what had happened to the girl so we don't know why she made that dua, even though it may seem like a very harsh one!

All we know is Allah is the best of judges, so everyone will be granted his/hers justice!

Lets pray to Allah that none of the sisters will go through what she went through, and also lets pray to Allah that our relationship with our parents stays nice and pure!

:w:
Reply

Hey there! Looks like you're enjoying the discussion, but you're not signed up for an account.

When you create an account, you can participate in the discussions and share your thoughts. You also get notifications, here and via email, whenever new posts are made. And you can like posts and make new friends.
Sign Up

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 1
    Last Post: 07-18-2012, 04:09 PM
  2. Replies: 6
    Last Post: 04-14-2011, 10:55 AM
  3. Replies: 0
    Last Post: 09-07-2007, 04:59 AM
  4. Replies: 0
    Last Post: 08-29-2006, 11:46 AM

IslamicBoard

Experience a richer experience on our mobile app!