Im reallly upset.....taking an oath with allah..

[AnonymousPoster]

Asslamualaikum...:cry:

About 2 years ago, a person came into my life to help me and sort out some problems i was having.

We were always good together, like best friends.
We always helped each other, and supported each other in times of difficulties, and alhamdulillah that person was very islamic and still is. We mostly talk on email, and dont see each other much, but still r very close to each other and we have a heartly relation with each other.

Not long ago, only a few days ago, i heard some really bad things about that person, and without asking if it was true, I broke everything with that person, who was very close to my heart.

i wrote an email saying:
I swear on allah and nabi (saws) that i can never talk to u again. I wrote that in an email along with some other things, and i said i never want to talk to u again.

After i said all that, i got a reply saying very rude things to me. I then wrote an email apologising for my rude behaviour, and i said that i didnt swear on allah from heart. I just wrote that in the email in anger.

That person is not ready to accept me as a sister and a friend again. the person says that, im the one who broke everything up, then why am i asking for friendship again. The person said that whether u write it in an email, or say it by words, it is the same thing. A swear is a swear, and now i have to accept it, and stick to my words.

Now i need some advice, because that swear was not from heart at all. I didnt have any intension of swearing on allahs name and nabi saws.....I made a big mistake and i regret it loads....i love that person sooo much....that person is like the other half of me....and i cant take it .....
i wanna talk to that person...and settle things.....but that person saids not ready to accept my apology...and start over....

I really donno what to do....???? please help.....ive been crying abiout it for dayss now...:cry:

[Snowflake]

salam,

it's zuhr time here, but I do know the answer to this inshaAllah. I will be back and answer you, till then, don't worry too much inshaAllah.

[Snowflake]

Back...

It is permissable to break an oath taken to do or abandon something permissable. The prophet (PBUH) said: "Whenever I take an oath to do something and (later on) I find something else better to do, I do what I find better and expiate for breaking my oath." (related in the Two sahihs)

In your case sister, it is better to apologise and make up with the sister as you were wrong to accuse her on the basis of hearsay. Whatever she had done in the past is between her and Allah - not you. She has done nothing but be kind to you, therefore you had no right to treat her like you did. You must be sincere in your apology to her and repent as well as expiate for the oath you broke - as the Prophet said.

There are option and priority order concerning the expiation for a broken oath.
"... so its expiation is the feeding of ten needy people from the average of that which you feed your own families or clothing them or the freeing of a slave but who cannot find (or afford it) - then a fast of three days is required)..." (Qur'an: Al-Ma'idah:89)

I hope that helps inshaAllah.

Source: A summary of Islamic Jurisprudence, vol 2, page 678 & 682.