i need urgent help PLEASE!

[AnonymousPoster]

hi guys

well i posted this thread because i need some help from you lot please

well basically there's this girl in my school who i used to be friends with for like half a year or so..we were soooo good friends until..she just cut it off completely

now i dont know why she cut it off but at this time she got a bf so maybe thats it..but thats not wat i need your help for guys
i think i fell in love with her and i still am..i think about her a lot maybe too much for my own good and crave to talk to her like i used to

wat makes me even more angry is i think she played me (any1 here in high school who has been in same situation or kno wat i;'m talkin about?) for those who dont know to 'play' someone is it's pretending to like them/be friends with them and even pretending to love them in a way,and then they dont talk to the other person straight away at all making it obvious

a lil bakground info

im Muslim
shes non-Muslim
in high school


if any1 can offer any advice at all i wuld be so grateful,thanks a lot

[Snowflake]

aslam alaikum

Brother, Islam allows men and women to talk to each other when it is necessary to do so, i.e. to ask questions concerning religious rulings or when dealing with buying or conducting financial transactions. Communicating for reasons other than that can lead to fitnah. There is no room for friendship between opposite genders in Islam. As friendship entails all that is forbidden e.g. joking, flirting and playful chat. It also means you're looking at the person when Allah has ordered us to lower the gaze. The shaytaan is ready before we are to take advantage of our weaknesses and provoke us to go astray. Therefore my dear bro all this should be avoided.


These years of your life are important for your future. A future that involves not only you, but your family and the one you will have later on. Keep yourself away from what's forbidden and keep yourself pure for the one you will marry.

I know it seems difficult right now, but these feelings will fade in time. InshaAllah try to increase your knowledge of Islam and how to live your life for the pleasure of Allah swt.

When we take the wrong path, we will pay the price.

Allah swt says: Whatever good happens to you is from Allah; but whatever evil happens to you is from your (own) soul (4:79).

I pray Allah guides you and protects you from falling into error and ultimately heartbreak and regret. Ameen.

[Ummu Sufyaan]

:sl:
with all due respect, i think you should just drop this...because had she any respect for you, she wouldnt cheat you. what makes you think she wouldnt do it again if you got with her?
akhee, have more self-reslpect than to let yourself be interested in someone who isnt interested in you.

i think about her a lot maybe too much for my own good and crave to talk to her like i used to

but that dosn't mean your in love with her because you miss talking to her...i dont doubt for a second that there are alot of people who have seperated as friends, whether the same gender or otherewise, and miss that friendship...akhee, it isnt exclusive to male/female relationships...

also, she is a non-muslim...a muslim girl is more valuable, becasue she values herself, i.e she dont get with any random guy...unlike most non-muslim girls

and perhaps also you are just going through a phase...you are still young...

i hope i havnt caused offence, and please forgive me if i have...

[YusufNoor]

hi guys

well i posted this thread because i need some help from you lot please

well basically there's this girl in my school who i used to be friends with for like half a year or so..we were soooo good friends until..she just cut it off completely

so something good happens and yet you whine?

now i dont know why she cut it off but at this time she got a bf so maybe thats it..but thats not wat i need your help for guys
i think i fell in love with her and i still am..i think about her a lot maybe too much for my own good and crave to talk to her like i used to

that is merely Shaytan whispering in your mind, seek the protection of Allah [Subhannahu Wa Ta' Aala]! (and expect more in the future!)

wat makes me even more angry is i think she played me (any1 here in high school who has been in same situation or kno wat i;'m talkin about?)

shut up! you have absolutely NO IDEA if she played you or not [and if she did, you play with fire and you might get burnt!]; for all you know she either doesn't like you anymore or maybe she DOES have a bf who deosn't want her associating with a muslim, you just don't know. so leave it...

for those who dont know to 'play' someone is it's pretending to like them/be friends with them and even pretending to love them in a way,and then they dont talk to the other person straight away at all making it obvious

a lil bakground info

im Muslim
shes non-Muslim
in high school


if any1 can offer any advice at all i wuld be so grateful,thanks a lot

:sl:

well i'm hoping you're a BROTHER cuz if you're NOT, then just ignore me and i won't post this thread anymore! :?

you miss the point: you were doing something foolish and Allah [Subhannahu Wa Ta' Aala] solved the problem for you! you should perform a Sujjud of Shukrin and return to regular Ibadat!

if you persist in not lowering your gaze you may "fall in love" a gazillion times in your life! lower your gaze, study for school and attend the Masjid as much as you can. anything else will only harm you.

that "big emptiness" inside is Allah [Subhannahu Wa Ta' Aala] making room in your heart for the Qur'an! take advantage of it!

(and for the record, she may still be playing you! but this is experience that you do not need, so leave it!)

:w:

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[AnonymousPoster]

:sl:


Try not to think about her too much, the more you tell yourself you love her - the more you'll feel hurt, and the more these feelings will carry on.


Don't try to approach her.. if you look at her, or try to 'accidentally' see her, that's going to make you more sad and empty inside.. you have to be willing to move on, because she isn't worth it. Alot of people like this just do it because they find it fun to play around, they like that suspense and then when they drop the person - they want them to carry on running.. that's how it's like, because people like attention.



Try to get new friends, and don't let her come in your way.. make a firm intention that you're going to move on, this will make her angry - because you're not giving her the attention that she wants. This is a good tactic lol, because you indirectly get a payback (luv bizness eh? lol) - plus you show your strength by telling yourself you can move on, inshAllah. Then you hang out with better friends who will help you in a good way..



Don't let her feel that she's won you, so stay strong.. and make a firm intention that you will move on and find friends who will help you in being strong, and good.

[AnonymousPoster]

thanks guys for your replies so far

more advice please?

[Snowflake]

thanks guys for your replies so far

more advice please?

Try contemplating why you were put on this Earth? What is the purpose of your existence? Is it to waste time on persuing the forbidden and useless things which take us away of our real purpose and hence Allah? Or is is to worship our Lord and prepare for the hereafter in which we will be questioned about our actions in this world? The answer is clear dear bro.

Perform salah and do so in masjid whenever possible.
Read the Holy Quran with understanding and ask the learned that which you do not understand.
Read about the life of Muhammed (PBUH), the asahaba, the khalifs, the shariah. Increasing your knowledge will help strengthen your imaan.
Remember no one escapes death. Prepare yourself for the unevitable. Man is weak, so ask for Allah's help in all your permissable affairs.

Do not harm yourself by getting attached to this duniya. It is only a path which we are travelling through. Strive in the way of Allah, so that He may grant you eternal bliss in Jannah inshaAllah. Jannah - the place where no sorrow will touch you, no pain will afflict you. The only place where peace happiness will be yours forever. Now doesn't that sound better than this world? :)

[AnonymousPoster]

Try contemplating why you were put on this Earth? What is the purpose of your existence? Is it to waste time on persuing the forbidden and useless things which take us away of our real purpose and hence Allah? Or is is to worship our Lord and prepare for the hereafter in which we will be questioned about our actions in this world? The answer is clear dear bro.

Perform salah and do so in masjid whenever possible.
Read the Holy Quran with understanding and ask the learned that which you do not understand.
Read about the life of Muhammed (PBUH), the asahaba, the khalifs, the shariah. Increasing your knowledge will help strengthen your imaan.
Remember no one escapes death. Prepare yourself for the unevitable. Man is weak, so ask for Allah's help in all your permissable affairs.

Do not harm yourself by getting attached to this duniya. It is only a path which we are travelling through. Strive in the way of Allah, so that He may grant you eternal bliss in Jannah inshaAllah. Jannah - the place where no sorrow will touch you, no pain will afflict you. The only place where peace happiness will be yours forever. Now doesn't that sound better than this world? :)

sis i appreciate your efforts to help me greatly

Try contemplating why you were put on this Earth? What is the purpose of your existence? Is it to waste time on persuing the forbidden and useless things which take us away of our real purpose and hence Allah? Or is is to worship our Lord and prepare for the hereafter in which we will be questioned about our actions in this world?

i am a Muslim u kno, i do pray 5 times a day and all that, this girl is just a problem - no ones perfect. as someone else stated above i mite just be going through a phase as i am fairly young

i think i am getting over her gradually i just want extra advice from you guys. if nothing works insha'Allah i will resort to du'a.

[Ahmed.]

hi guys

well i posted this thread because i need some help from you lot please

well basically there's this girl in my school who i used to be friends with for like half a year or so..we were soooo good friends until..she just cut it off completely

now i dont know why she cut it off but at this time she got a bf so maybe thats it..but thats not wat i need your help for guys
i think i fell in love with her and i still am..i think about her a lot maybe too much for my own good and crave to talk to her like i used to

wat makes me even more angry is i think she played me (any1 here in high school who has been in same situation or kno wat i;'m talkin about?) for those who dont know to 'play' someone is it's pretending to like them/be friends with them and even pretending to love them in a way,and then they dont talk to the other person straight away at all making it obvious

a lil bakground info

im Muslim
shes non-Muslim
in high school


if any1 can offer any advice at all i wuld be so grateful,thanks a lot

It's not worth it brother, she doesn't seem like a nice person and also 'rekindling' a friendship with her could lead to zina.

You'll be better off trying to get married to a Muslimah, so your 'love life' can be taken care of.

Salaam.

[Snowflake]

=AnonymousGender;929771]sis i appreciate your efforts to help me greatly

Alhumdulillah. JazakAllah khair bro.

i am a Muslim u kno, i do pray 5 times a day and all that, this girl is just a problem - no ones perfect. as someone else stated above i mite just be going through a phase as i am fairly young

:-[:-[:-[ Sorry bro that made me feel ashamed. I did not mean you aren't practicing. I didn't know, so I said it out of duty lol. Yes, it's definitely a phase and I do understand - I was young once too you know lol. I have faith that you will get through this inshaAllah. Please forgive me if I offended you. imsad

i think i am getting over her gradually i just want extra advice from you guys. if nothing works insha'Allah i will resort to du'a.

MashaAllah.. that's brilliant bro. I do understand the age thing and all that. But make duaa anyway, not only as a last resort inshaAllah. :)

[barney]

If you were Non Muslim, I'd say time to move on...it's hard , but time is a great healer.
I'll say that anyway!:D

[AnonymousPoster]

It's not worth it brother, she doesn't seem like a nice person and also 'rekindling' a friendship with her could lead to zina.

You'll be better off trying to get married to a Muslimah, so your 'love life' can be taken care of.

Salaam.

true. Thanks

Alhumdulillah. JazakAllah khair bro.


:-[:-[:-[ Sorry bro that made me feel ashamed. I did not mean you aren't practicing. I didn't know, so I said it out of duty lol. Yes, it's definitely a phase and I do understand - I was young once too you know lol. I have faith that you will get through this inshaAllah. Please forgive me if I offended you. imsad


MashaAllah.. that's brilliant bro. I do understand the age thing and all that. But make duaa anyway, not only as a last resort inshaAllah. :)

no dont feel ashamed! saying it out of duty is fine,dont feel ashamed about that sis!
thanks for your understanding and faith in me
no offense taken - dont worry.

If you were Non Muslim, I'd say time to move on...it's hard , but time is a great healer.
I'll say that anyway!:D

lol:D thanks for advice

:sl:
Nooo, maan...don't make dua as a final resort. It should be your first resort, always, in all circumstances!

You need to build a relationship with your creator, making dua, asking your lord for things is one of the best ways in which you can do this! Make dua and believe that Allah is listening and has accepted. This will increase your faith and trust in Allah and you'll be a stronger person because of it, inshaAllah.

Sorry that this is not related to the topic at hand, but I saw what you wrote and thought I'd just jump in with some general advice that I think would benefit you. :smile:

thanks for the advice/info :)

[AnonymousPoster]

oh yeh and i forgot to say i really appreciate all your efforts to help me

and also anymore advice would be cool,the more the better! :D

[anonymous]

oh yeh and i forgot to say i really appreciate all your efforts to help me

and also anymore advice would be cool,the more the better! :D

:sl: Anon thinks this is a biiiiiig blessing is disguise and you are a very very lucky dude to have got rid of her.

gurls = headache :hmm:

be cool, be happy :w:

[Snowflake]

no dont feel ashamed! saying it out of duty is fine,dont feel ashamed about that sis!
thanks for your understanding and faith in me
no offense taken - dont worry.

ok jazakAllah khair, I won't lol

wish you all the best and may Allah replace the feelings of loss you felt with something wonderful and pleasing to you and Him inshaAllah. Ameen.

[anonymous]

shes non muslim maaaaaaaaaan, do u actually SEE any future with her? I think notttt :X

Get over her, find sum1 else. and go about it the halal way n that inih n dat.

actualli u sound about 16 so wait a few years lol

[forever.muslima]

make duaa-
allah only tests those who he loves-i say you forget her, and since your a muslim and shes not i think you have to forget her (not because your not allowed a non-muslim wife and stuff) but life will easier of you have a muslim wife.
Although in islam your allowed to 'like' someone its not good when it occupies your time, and if shes with someone else jsut try as hard as it might be to forget her. Inshallh someone else better for you will come along.

don't worry and the best thing is to read more quran, and reas tasbihs and short duaas when your out so as to not get distracted. This life is only a momenet-so spend it with full obediene to Allah not our nafs.

I'm saying all this to my self before telling you.

If you got offended or hurt please forgive me.

[------]

:salamext:

Players are players, we can't change them, so don't even try.