cannot STAND the guy... pure HATRED..

[anonymous]

Ok, so there is this guy at 6th form college who I absolutely HATE. I JUST CANNOT STAND THE GUY. I DONT THINK I HAVE EVER HATED ANYONE SO BAD IN MY LIFE. Well theres three of them, but it all started off with one. I guess it was me who started it all, but here goes.

This guy dresses in such a way that when he used to go past, me and my m8 just could not help but laugh. Now I didnt make it as obvious as my mate. She would just laugh in his face.

Anyways, this went on for a while with us laughing at him whenever we saw him. I know, I know, you all thinking is this girl 17 or at nursery. So anyways, he would hang on with these two guys. So one day he decides to confront us. Well confront ME. Even though my mate was with me. He confronted me by SWEARING at me, and since that day, all hell has broken loose. I dont know why he confronted only me since we was both in it but I CANNOT STAND THE GUY. No one gets away with swearing at me, so since then, all thats happened is making digs at each other whenever we saw each other. I was ready to punch him once. Minger. Anyways, now the problem went from him to his mates, who also decided to act all high and mighty, so so much crap has happened.

Anyways, I wont go into detail because this has been going on for ages now, but anyways, two of these guys (i wont swear) now work in my local supermarket, which I have to go to on a regular basis. Now, I hardly go there anymore because of them, but I went a while ago with my mum, and one of the guys walked past and said something horrible aimed at me. But I could not respond because I was with my mum. I was all worked up, but because I never saw the guy again at col after that I forgot all about it. Anyways, so today I was in town with my mum again, and I saw the three guys again. And one of them said something aimed at me AGAIN. and again, i couldnt respond. Because I was with my mum.

What I have noticed is, they only say something when i am in a positon when I cant say anything back. When I am on my own or with mates, they blank me and I blank them. Its ok for my mate, she isnt from where I am from. She lives in another city. So right now I am fired up I want to tell someone like my bro, to just BEAT THE HELL OUT OF THEM. How dare they? But the thing is, I started it all. Should I tell someone? I am not scared of these lads or anything, nr do i feel threatended by them in any way, point is- they swear at me. which is taking the biscuit. So Ive sweared bak and done loads back, but point is... im a girl.!

So should I, or shouldnt I or what should I do?

I know it sounds totally immature, but seriously, i need advice. So mods, please aprrove the thread.

[Woodrow]

First and most importantly accept full responsibility for your actions that started this. It was not a case of him hating you, it was a case of him retaliating to what he saw as an attack upon himself.

Second, why are you even interacting in a frivolous manner with a member of the opposite gender. If you had behaved as a woman, things never would have escalated to this point.

Third at this stage probably the best option is to totally ignore him and avoid looking directly at him, try to avoid any thoughts about him, do not acknowledge his presence with words or actions.

Fourth, learn that prevention is many times easier than a cure.

[anonymous]

agree with woodrow. though you siad you wasn't as obvious as your mates, it was your group who initiated it all, and again as woodrow pointed out, he was simply retaliating. you should've told your mates to just quit it, i mean, laughing in someone's face just 'cause the way they dress, i'm sorry but that is mad rude - which doesn't exactly make you guys the victims in this case, does it? as to what you can do, avoid any more 'giggly' stuff in the near future, and as for him, sign a peace treaty with him. :) sorry i wasn't of much help, but you should've saw this coming a mile off. anwyays, i hope it gets sorted out soon inshaAllah.

[Abdul Fattah]

I agree with the advice that was already given here. Since you were on the team that started it, it makes sense to apologize. Maybe if you find that to difficult, write a letter or something. If he then continues to flame tell him he's out of line and just be the bigger person and ignore it, tune it out.

Secondly, getting someone to beat them up is a very bad thing
1. it's uncalled for and not the right aproach
2. you're making other people do sinful things because of you.

Thirdly, just because you're a girl doesn't mean he should swear less at you then you should swear at him. Try not to think about what other people do wrong, they'll have to worry about that for themselves and be called to explain for it in the hereafter. Instead try to focus only on the things you do wrong, and correct them.

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[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

I agree with Woodrow, u shouldnt have said anything in the first place and he is only responding to what you and ur friend did. It might have been better if you had told your friend to quit it, right then and there and stopped yourself as well. Bro Woodrow and the rest basically, I think, summed it up. You should probably apologize to him. You wont go lower just by apologizing. But it will end the quarrel, which is what you want I'm sure. If he doesn't take it, its ok, you know you apologized InshaAllah :)

:sl:

[*Hana*]

Yup, absolutely agree with everyone here. Girl or not....you started it and it's up to you to finish it. Whether you laughed in his face or looking away doesn't make you any less "guilty". Think how you made this person feel. What you did was wrong and you need to take responsibility for your own actions. You should go up to him, talk and apologize.

Just because you're a girl doesn't give you the right to be rude and not have someone call you on it. It was all funny until he retaliated and now it's not so funny to you anymore. But, I'll bet he and his friends find it amusing...just as you did when the tables were turned.

Why exactly do you hate him? Because he didn't let you get away with behaving badly due to you being female? Does being female make this acceptable and he doesn't know the rules?? Not sure why you are hating him at all.

Sorry, my young sister, but no sympathy from this end. :) Ya always have to be thinking of the consequences...now you're facing them. Step up, sis. :)

Wa'alaikum salam,
Hana

[glo]

Greetings, anon

I agree with the advice the previous posters have given.

Why exactly do you hate him? Because he didn't let you get away with behaving badly due to you being female? Does being female make this acceptable and he doesn't know the rules?? Not sure why you are hating him at all.

Anon, ask yourself, whether your negative feelings against this guy are caused by your conscience pricking you - do you deep down know that you have wronged this guy and feel guilty about it? Are you blaming him, because that's easier than admitting your own mistakes?

I suggest you apologise to this young man - you might be surprised at how that might change both of you ...

Be courageous, little sister!
Search your own heart, and do what's right. :)

[syilla]

:salamext:

control your emotion sis...

don't make yourself hate someone too much

there are cases you fall in love with someone you hate and end up marrying the guy :uuh:

[Snowflake]

I agree with 100% Br. Woodrow & Jazzy & Glo's suggestion to make an apology.

The worst thing is that instead of learning from your mistake, you are still talking about getting your bro to beat them up? I can't even begin to understand this.

Please read, and read again, Bro Woodrow's post.

[Sahabiyaat]

salam

you started it and he retaliated and as my arab teachers of the past would say whilst doing that very familiar hand gesture of wiping the hands togther, KHALAS! lol.but hes taking the revenge a bit too far, shows u cut him deep lady.

But seems he hates you as much as you hate him,(hell hath no fury like a male ego scorned)

the fact that he chose you to confront rather than your friend who was much more blatant as you say, may be due to the fact that he may be too intimidated by her behaviour and you being the safer option, chose you instead.
another lesson; dont follow your friends like a sheep.think before you act, shes all nice and safe and your in the firing line now.

hes making you pay for making him feel like crap and i dont think he will be stopping anytime soon. you can either hack and ignore him and avoid him as much as possible and dont let it get to you.
Ask Allah for forgiveness ofcourse, maybe then he will stop with the mercy of Allah, or just get him on his own and show him y u bin watching all those jet li movies....if you have cough....

Anywayyyyyyyyy. there you have it lovey

[IbnAbdulHakim]

yep apologise



its not really about a scorned ego, its just freakin annoyin when girls giggle and laugh

poor dude musta been ticked off


Assalamu Alaikum

[Ahmed.]

First and most importantly accept full responsibility for your actions that started this. It was not a case of him hating you, it was a case of him retaliating to what he saw as an attack upon himself.

Second, why are you even interacting in a frivolous manner with a member of the opposite gender. If you had behaved as a woman, things never would have escalated to this point.

Third at this stage probably the best option is to totally ignore him and avoid looking directly at him, try to avoid any thoughts about him, do not acknowledge his presence with words or actions.

Fourth, learn that prevention is many times easier than a cure.

MashAllah excellent advice :thumbs_up:)

[Snowflake]

Reminder:

(O ye who believe! Let not a folk deride a folk who may be better than they (are), nor let women (deride) women who may be better than they are; neither defame one another, nor insult one another by nicknames. Bad is the name of lewdness after faith. And whoso turneth not in repentance, such are evil doers.) (Al-Hujurat 49:11)

[Sahabiyaat]

its not really about a scorned ego, its just freakin annoyin when girls giggle and laugh

yes indeed its annoying even to girls when other girls giggle and laugh! and their theory is that they look attractive doing so...lord..little do they know of your opinion brother, you should express it more openly!

apology is easier said then done, but it will certainly increase your position in the eyes of Allah.no harm in trying....(except that his ego may heal, and increase to the size of 122 football pitches, but that doesnt concern you, you must learn to rise above!!)

[Ahmed.]

Ok, so there is this guy at 6th form college who I absolutely HATE. I JUST CANNOT STAND THE GUY. I DONT THINK I HAVE EVER HATED ANYONE SO BAD IN MY LIFE. Well theres three of them, but it all started off with one. I guess it was me who started it all, but here goes.

This guy dresses in such a way that when he used to go past, me and my m8 just could not help but laugh. Now I didnt make it as obvious as my mate. She would just laugh in his face.

Anyways, this went on for a while with us laughing at him whenever we saw him. I know, I know, you all thinking is this girl 17 or at nursery. So anyways, he would hang on with these two guys. So one day he decides to confront us. Well confront ME. Even though my mate was with me. He confronted me by SWEARING at me, and since that day, all hell has broken loose. I dont know why he confronted only me since we was both in it but I CANNOT STAND THE GUY. No one gets away with swearing at me, so since then, all thats happened is making digs at each other whenever we saw each other. I was ready to punch him once. Minger. Anyways, now the problem went from him to his mates, who also decided to act all high and mighty, so so much crap has happened.

Anyways, I wont go into detail because this has been going on for ages now, but anyways, two of these guys (i wont swear) now work in my local supermarket, which I have to go to on a regular basis. Now, I hardly go there anymore because of them, but I went a while ago with my mum, and one of the guys walked past and said something horrible aimed at me. But I could not respond because I was with my mum. I was all worked up, but because I never saw the guy again at uni after that I forgot all about it. Anyways, so today I was in town with my mum again, and I saw the three guys again. And one of them said something aimed at me AGAIN. and again, i couldnt respond. Because I was with my mum.

What I have noticed is, they only say something when i am in a positon when I cant say anything back. When I am on my own or with mates, they blank me and I blank them. Its ok for my mate, she isnt from where I am from. She lives in another city. So right now I am fired up I want to tell someone like my bro, to just BEAT THE HELL OUT OF THEM. How dare they? But the thing is, I started it all. Should I tell someone? I am not scared of these lads or anything, nr do i feel threatended by them in any way, point is- they swear at me. which is taking the biscuit. So Ive sweared bak and done loads back, but point is... im a girl.!

So should I, or shouldnt I or what should I do?

I know it sounds totally immature, but seriously, i need advice. So mods, please aprrove the thread.

Salaam sis,

It's a good thnig that you acknowledge that it started from you, so I think the best thing may be for you to approach them boys one day and just apologise to them and that should put a stop to all this this immature behaviour.

They probably think that your a nasty and spitefull girl who likes to make fun out of people and be rude to them, so if you apologise they will see that you have changed and thus, as boys, they would feel embarrassed to pick on a girl anymore :-[ ...

Salaam

[------]

:salamext:

So what if ur a girl? :-\

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you Woodrow,

First and most importantly accept full responsibility for your actions that started this. It was not a case of him hating you, it was a case of him retaliating to what he saw as an attack upon himself.

Second, why are you even interacting in a frivolous manner with a member of the opposite gender. If you had behaved as a woman, things never would have escalated to this point.

Third at this stage probably the best option is to totally ignore him and avoid looking directly at him, try to avoid any thoughts about him, do not acknowledge his presence with words or actions.

Fourth, learn that prevention is many times easier than a cure.

Very Good Advice as ever Mr. Newly Wed row,
Anyway please can I digress slightly, because I am on the verge of getting confused. We seem to have two individuals posting as anonymous on this thread and I have trouble separating who is who.

Please could the forum rules be changed that if someone wants to remain anonymous that they take on the name of a flower, or bird or something else.
It becomes more complicated for me when ‘anonymous’ appears in different threads.

God bless and thanks for all your good work here.

Eric

[Snowflake]

^Good idea Eric!

[anonymous]

ASSALAAM-U-ALAIKUM!

Im the original poster. Thank you everyone for your advice, verymuch appreciated though I must say, some of it I just dont agree with. Like APOLOGISING to him. YEAH RIGHT. I dont think so somehow.

Point is, I started it but I also ended it by ot even acknowledging that he exists anymore. It took me four years to notice this guy, hes hardly gods gift to women, not like I even would give him a second glance.

But yesteradyI was so fired up.Fact is, his mate said something once. I ignored it. A second incident happened. I ignored it. AND YESTERDAY WAS JUST THE LAST STRAW. I had planned to go down tohsi work place and sort him out, or confront him about it, but didnt happen, purely because, I have better things to worry about.

Can I just clarify:

no1- I am not getting picked on by these guys. They have just taken oppurtunities (those I told you about) to make digs, knowing that I cant respond, not because i wont respond

no2- Sis syllia- LOL dont know whether to laugh at your response or just puke up. MARRY THE GUY????+o(+o(+o(+o(+o(+o(+o(+o(+o(

no3- HE came to me swearing and cursing. Id never once sworn attheguy, until AFTER of course, when he'd just blank me and walk away.

I know I was to blame. Hence why I left it. But if theyw ant to start it all up again, BRING.IT.ON.

[anonymous]

Come on guys. This guy wears SKINNY jeans. And co-ordinates like a girl. And hes apparently a MODEL. Which I found out like 8 months later. And I am sure hes gay. Lol.

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

:w:

Sis, thats really sad. That gives you no right to say ANYTHING. I'm sorry but its low, and the fact that none if it seems to be getting through to you. As Muslims, thats not how we should behave. The fact is that he never ever said anything to you before and is now bugging you, shows how much it hurt the guy. People have different ways of responding to behavior like that. It won't matter what he thinks of you afterwards, but that Allah will be proud of you. If you don't want to apologize, well then you should have thought about this before. It is easier said than done, but it's the best thing you can do. I don't like the idea of people being gay BUT it doesn't mean I will laugh at it. It's really kind of sickening to me that your laughing about it at all, rather than try to make an effort. And the fact that you want to still beat him up? How will that make things any better? Trust me, you'll feel much better after you apologize InshaAllah :). Before you make fun of the way people walk or dress or act, always look at what you yourself are doing. All that is nothing compared to you and your friend laughing at him when he did nothing to you. I don't want to sound mean but you have to face the reality of what you and your friend did :)

:sl:

[anonymous]

Salaams,

Thank you for your advice sister. I was joking when I said he might be gay, :X. I have nothing against gay people, its their life, if thats the way they want to live, so be it.

I know it was my fault, point is, I stopped. I dont think it was even him who said it yesterday I think it was his mate. Who is no longer at col. Hence why he thinks he can get away with it. But he isnt going to. what will probably happen is, I wont see them for a while, then ill forget.

Until the next time.

Which is why I want them to know, they better watch their mouth. Im not scared of them. I would have the guts to punch them all one by one. Honestly. When I get wound up theres no stopping me. Which is why I am asking for your advvice.

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

Ok sis, no harm done InshaAllah. All you need to do is apologize to him. If he still continues to bug you, then he's being a fruit lol. Anyways, InshaAllah I hope you do whats right and that it ends :) Stronger is the person who controls his/her anger. Fighting someone doesn't mean your stronger cause thats taking the easy way out. The challenge is in controlling your anger, cause we know its tough.

:sl:

[anonymous]

No way am I apologising to him. NOOOO way! None of them.

[FatimaAsSideqah]

As Salaam Alaykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu

The Qur'an teaches love [not hate] and concern for humankind irrespective of their faith choice.

More than 200 verses in the Qur'an address all humankind, not just Muslims [e.g. 4:1; 49:13]. It teaches acceptance of others' right to choose their faith, condemns compulsion in religion and accepts plurality of humankind [though not plurality in ultimate truths].

However, part of our being human is also that we make mistakes. Sometime, we make mistakes without deliberation and intention. But sometime we knowingly and deliberately sin and do wrong to others. As human beings we are responsible, but we do also make mistakes and we are constantly in need of forgiveness. Islam speaks about two aspects of forgiveness: a) Allah’s forgiveness; b) Human forgiveness. We need both, because we do wrong in our relations to Allah as well as in our relations to each other.

[anonymous]

Jazakallah sis xx

[Nσσя'υℓ Jαииαн]

Sis, your asking for advice but not taking any of it. Rest is up to you. I'm done here cause I feel like I'm repeating myself...=/

:sl:

[*Hana*]

Yup Jazzy, I absolutely agree. It's a waste of time. Why this person is asking for advice and not heeding it is beyond me. Every single person gave the same advice, but she still tries to justify it.

Seems our young sister thinks it's ok to humiliate someone but when she decides to stop, that should be the end of it. And it's ok to humiliate because someone dresses differently. So, should I also I assume she defends or agrees with the non-muslim that verbally abuses her sisters for dressing differently? There's no difference here, and one is just as wrong as the other.

If you dish it out, be prepared to take or remain silent.

As the saying goes: Words are like weapons...they wound. And you see first hand how deeply they can cut.

Inshallah, you'll understand the seriousness of what you did one day and have the courage to admit you were wrong and apologize.

Wasalam,
Hana

[------]

:salamext:

If you continue to be so stuck up that ur not apologising to him, then there's nothing left to say is there? :-\

[IbnAbdulHakim]

Salaams,

Thank you for your advice sister. I was joking when I said he might be gay, :X. I have nothing against gay people, its their life, if thats the way they want to live, so be it. .

even tho its haram n we should find it sick and disturbing? :S


you DO find it sick and disturbing right?!



plz tell me ur not a gay lover/supporter :enough!::skeleton:

[Abdul Fattah]

Point is, I started it but I also ended it by ot even acknowledging that he exists anymore. It took me four years to notice this guy, hes hardly gods gift to women, not like I even would give him a second glance.

You didn't end it at all. Ignoring something doesn't make it go away. And just because you stopped, doesn't mean you no longer need to apologies. What you did was wrong, apologies are required. It's as simple as that.

I know I was to blame. Hence why I left it. But if theyw ant to start it all up again, BRING.IT.ON.

That doesn't make sense at all, as far as they know it never ended in the first place.

Come on guys. This guy wears SKINNY jeans. And co-ordinates like a girl. And hes apparently a MODEL. Which I found out like 8 months later. And I am sure hes gay. Lol.

None of that justifies it.

Oh one last advice:
When you hate someone, know that maybe Allah subhana wa ta'ala might love him. Maybe at some point in his life this guy will read the Qur'an and convert to Islam? Can you be certain that won't happen? Oh and think about this. What if in the afterlife he is questioned for being a non-muslim, and he replies: "well, I figured Islam couldn't be right since muslimas treathed me so badly. Rather then sharing the gift of Islamic knowledge with me, they simply mocked me for the way I walked and the close I was wearing." Who do you think will be questioned next, then?

[Ebtisweetsam]

Anyway please can I digress slightly, because I am on the verge of getting confused. We seem to have two individuals posting as anonymous on this thread and I have trouble separating who is who.

Please could the forum rules be changed that if someone wants to remain anonymous that they take on the name of a flower, or bird or something else.
It becomes more complicated for me when ‘anonymous’ appears in different threads.

God bless and thanks for all your good work here.

Eric

:thumbs_up I agree with Erico-dude... guys got a point big time... Im so confused with all these anony's... its makin me go nuts working out who is who!:rollseyes<<<<<<< by the way, why is the roll eyes emoticon a frozen looking thing?

[anonymous]

Salaams,original poster again.

I came on here for advice. Not to be judged. Stuck up?? Why? Please explain whoever had the nerve to say that.

Another point: The guy is not a non muslim, who said that??:?:?:? Hes muslim

And ok, say i was to apologise. The next time I will notice him, will probably be when he makes another snidy remark. And when I am in a position where I cant respond. How would you go about apologising in this situation, you tell me, go on. go on.

[Snowflake]

Calm down sis.... There's a saying that goes; it's not what you do, it's the way that you do it.

You have two options
1) Choose a time when the guy is alone and simply tell him that you want to say something. Of course your manner shouldn't be intimidating, or he will think you're going to say something nasty and run off. So try to look a lil remorseful inshaAllah. Then say 'bismillah...' in your heart/under your breath and tell him that you were wrong to make fun of him and feel bad it's got to this. Then with as much grace and sincerity as you can muster, simply say "I'm really sorry." And mean it!


2) If you can't say it to his face, or feel he won't react kindly, then write it down (same words as above) and send it to him. Hopefully without a chance of a confrontation ruining the whole affair, he will dwell on it and accept your apology.

No brother/sister in Islam who loves you for the sake of Allah, wants you to go creating problems for yourself because of your behavior. I request you sister, please think about how your behavior as a muslimah should be. And please don't walk on this earth with pride and think you are above apologizing, especially when you are at fault. The grave is constantly calling out to those with warnings who walk the earth with pride.

[Fishman]

:sl:
People laugh at me like that all the time (mainly little kids in year 9), and I've gone crazy and whacked them a few time as well. It is horrible and cruel that people bully like this. I have very little confidence at school now and I am prejudiced against eveybody younger than me. If he hates you you have nobody to blame but yourself.
:w:

[------]

:salamext:

I came on here for advice. Not to be judged. Stuck up?? Why? Please explain whoever had the nerve to say that.

I said it. You laugh at a guy and expect him not to respond?! You're getting a taste of your own medicine sis. Accept it or apologise.

[Abdul Fattah]

Salaams,original poster again.
Another point: The guy is not a non muslim, who said that??:?:?:? Hes muslim

I didn't say he is muslim, said he could become muslim in the future.

And ok, say i was to apologise. The next time I will notice him, will probably be when he makes another snidy remark. And when I am in a position where I cant respond. How would you go about apologising in this situation, you tell me, go on. go on.

Well just tell him you're sorry for what happened in the past and would prefer to end this. Does it matter wheter he just gave you a remark or not? I guess it would sting a bit to have to suck up one's pride in such a situation, but just remember how you got in the mess in the first place.

[anonymous]

:salamext:



I said it. You laugh at a guy and expect him not to respond?! You're getting a taste of your own medicine sis. Accept it or apologise.

Well maybe you should think twice before you make comments like that next time. Im anything but stuck up. In fact, Im really wound up that you said that. Maybe you should think about apologising 2 ME for your actions too since you advised me to do the same.

[anonymous]

I didn't say he is muslim, said he could become muslim in the future.

Bro he IS a muslim !!

Well just tell him you're sorry for what happened in the past and would prefer to end this. Does it matter wheter he just gave you a remark or not? I guess it would sting a bit to have to suck up one's pride in such a situation, but just remember how you got in the mess in the first place.

Im not stuck up as someone suggested but I can be v.v.v. stubborn and THATS what Im being in this situation. HE owes ME an apology. I went to his work place today to look for him he wasnt there. Just as well. Because ... lets not go there.

[anonymous]

:sl:
If he hates you you have nobody to blame but yourself.
:w:

I sincerely, could.not.care.LESS. what this guy thinks of me.

[anonymous]

Calm down sis.... There's a saying that goes; it's not what you do, it's the way that you do it.

You have two options
1) Choose a time when the guy is alone and simply tell him that you want to say something. Of course your manner shouldn't be intimidating, or he will think you're going to say something nasty and run off. So try to look a lil remorseful inshaAllah. Then say 'bismillah...' in your heart/under your breath and tell him that you were wrong to make fun of him and feel bad it's got to this. Then with as much grace and sincerity as you can muster, simply say "I'm really sorry." And mean it!


2) If you can't say it to his face, or feel he won't react kindly, then write it down (same words as above) and send it to him. Hopefully without a chance of a confrontation ruining the whole affair, he will dwell on it and accept your apology.

No brother/sister in Islam who loves you for the sake of Allah, wants you to go creating problems for yourself because of your behavior. I request you sister, please think about how your behavior as a muslimah should be. And please don't walk on this earth with pride and think you are above apologizing, especially when you are at fault. The grave is constantly calling out to those with warnings who walk the earth with pride.

Thank you sis, much appreciated :)

[glo]

Im not stuck up as someone suggested but I can be v.v.v. stubborn and THATS what Im being in this situation. HE owes ME an apology. I went to his work place today to look for him he wasnt there. Just as well. Because ... lets not go there.

Just think, sis. If you apologise to him, he may just apologise back to you.

Somebody has to take the first step, you know. And it will take the more courageous and gracious one to do it! Do you have what it takes? :)

Peace

[anonymous]

Yup Jazzy, I absolutely agree. It's a waste of time. Why this person is asking for advice and not heeding it is beyond me. Every single person gave the same advice, but she still tries to justify it.

Seems our young sister thinks it's ok to humiliate someone but when she decides to stop, that should be the end of it. And it's ok to humiliate because someone dresses differently. So, should I also I assume she defends or agrees with the non-muslim that verbally abuses her sisters for dressing differently? There's no difference here, and one is just as wrong as the other.

That was a bit harsh sis. You cannot compare this situation with the mocking of the hijaab. Of course If anyone laughed at me for wearing a hijaab if I was to wear one, I would seriously ....... you can imagine .

[anonymous]

Just think, sis. If you apologise to him, he may just apologise back to you.

Somebody has to take the first step, you know. And it will take the more courageous and gracious one to do it! Do you have what it takes? :)

Peace

I actually approached one of his mates and asked him to ask this guy to aplogise to me AGES AGO, and he said he would not do that. So. Honestly. I hate him so bad. Even though I dont even think it was him who said it the other day. Come on- isnt that way out of order, to say something to me when Im with my MUM. I would not have got this angry if it was in any other situation in which caes I would have sorted it out there and then.

[anonymous]

AHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHA THIS THREAD HILARIOUS!!! AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH.

LOLLLLLLLLL

Ok sorry. Why u laugh at dis guy 4? AHAHAAHHAH actuali, i get wat u mean sum guys jus dress so funny lolll

Anyways why u lettin dis guy gt 2 ya 4, chill out, dnt let him kno o think that hes gettin 2 ya. Is he fit is he fit Lollll. if he is ill sort him out 4 ya AHAHAHa

[glo]

I actually approached one of his mates and asked him to ask this guy to aplogise to me AGES AGO, and he said he would not do that. So. Honestly. I hate him so bad. Even though I dont even think it was him who said it the other day. Come on- isnt that way out of order, to say something to me when Im with my MUM. I would not have got this angry if it was in any other situation in which caes I would have sorted it out there and then.

You are missing my point, anon.
The point was that you should consider taking the first step ... by being the first to apologise - not ask him to apologise to you.

You know, often doing the right things is not about thinking 'What's in it for me?' or 'Is it fair?'.
Perhaps you should do the right thing for one reason only - that you know it is the right thing to do!

But really, this isn't about us telling you what to do.
You should follow your own conscience.
Take some time to pray and seek God's guidance in this.
Search your own heart.

You make me smile, little sis, because I hear your passion and your youth in your posts.
May God love you, keep you and guide you always! :statisfie

Peace

[anonymous]

You make me smile, little sis, because I hear your passion and your youth in your posts.
May God love you, keep you and guide you always! :statisfie

Peace

:) :statisfieLol. Thank you :) Im actully pretty ashamed of my actions when I hear some words of wisdom from elders like yourself. :(

[glo]

:) :statisfieLol. Thank you :) Im actully pretty ashamed of my actions when I hear some words of wisdom from elders like yourself. :(

When you are as old as me, you get to pass on advice to the younger generation too ... whether they want to hear it or not! :giggling:
(One of the few perks of getting older)

Anyway, I don't know how old you are, sis, but I am sure you are old enough to make your own decisions.
Let us know how things go with you. Or PM me, if you like.

Salaam

[anonymous]

Thank you sis. Im 17 :-[

[Souljette]

I'm 17 too but sis c'mmon ur lettin anger get to u...in evrythng ur thinkin of a defensive way..why are u gettin defensive???? U know u did sumthing wrong but you just don't want to accept it..that's the vibe i'm getting..When you are accepting it you don't want to take responsibility for it?? im not understandin dis..why are you askin him to apologize to u..this culd b done long time ago bt since it hasn't can u end it already...just tell him my bad i dint mean to hurt in any way ..jst didnt' realize how far dis wuld go..nd i hpe u realize this too ...nd trst me he gnna understand if u act humble nd mean the apology

[anonymous]

Hes a ******* with a massive head and a massive ego, somehow I dont think thats ^^ the way it will go

[Abdul Fattah]

Bro he IS a muslim !!

Even more reasons to apologize. Next time you see him tell him you fear Allah and wish to make peace.

HE owes ME an apology.

you can't force people to apologize. If they don't do it, then make peace with that and move on. The only thing you should worry about is not wheter you received every apology that you have coming, but rather whether you made every apology that you own to someone else.

"It is not permitted for a Muslim to be estranged from his brother (in Islam) for more than 3 days, whilst turning away their head when they meet. The best among them is he who first greets the other." (muslim and bukhari)

"The doors of paradise are open on monday and thursday, and every servant (of Allah) who places no partner along his side, will be forgiven, except for the man who holds a grudge against his brother. It is said: "Wait for those two, until they have reconciled, wait for those two, until they have reconciled, wait for those two, until they have reconciled. (Muslim)

[------]

Well maybe you should think twice before you make comments like that next time. Im anything but stuck up. In fact, Im really wound up that you said that. Maybe you should think about apologising 2 ME for your actions too since you advised me to do the same.

See? u can never admit ur rong.

[anonymous]

Even more reasons to apologize. Next time you see him tell him you fear Allah and wish to make peace.

He would LAUGH in my face, considering I am not the most practising of girls.

Plus, he walks away whenever I want to confront him. EDITED by Al Habeshi. FOR SWEARING!

[anonymous]

See? u can never admit ur rong.

Come again? Wring in what way? Wrong because I said I am not stuck up but your right because you said I am?If you cant offer advice, then dont bother posting on this thread. Because you are making me angry.

[------]

:salamext:

Sis I offered advice. U have to apologise and admit ur rong. Otherwise, u are getting wht u deserve.

And calm down, too much anger aint good .. :mmokay:

[anonymous]

Yo yoooooooooo sis next tym u seee him jus start singin to him...''Dont luk at me like dat mahi... dont luk at me like dat Boi'' AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHH datll teach him. AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH.

[Ali.]

Come again? Wring in what way? Wrong because I said I am not stuck up but your right because you said I am?If you cant offer advice, then dont bother posting on this thread. Because you are making me angry.

Sis' it appears to me that you get angry too easily, try to control it :).

Whoever angers you, conquers you

Elizabeth Kenny

Even if angering you wasn't an aim.

[Umar001]

Am Closing This As Its Run Its Course>