I am a Perfectionist :( help

[AnonymousPoster]

:sl:i cant believe it but i finally realised that i am a perfectionist and is ruining my life, i feel that i need to be smart achieve the best grades and please dont laugh ( control my weight and what i eat, how i look). i just failed to send off my friend work to uni, she sended me her work late(i had 2 mins to send it) it didnt send and she got a fail, i just feel so bad even though is not my work i feel that i could have done it better.:cry:

the funny thing is that she doesnt even mind and is her work:-[
i know that everything is written and i feel like such a bad muslim:cry::cry::laugh::enough!::enough!:

i always think what if...people joked around with me about wanting everything to be perfect but is now is affecting me badly:raging:
help:?xx

[جوري]

Forgive me dear sis/bro.. but how does not sending your friend's work on time make you a perfectionist and how is it exactly affecting your life?

further, why couldn't your friend send her work directly to uni and spare herself a fail and yourself the guilty feelings?

Pls elaborate a bit on the last two paragraphs, I didn't understand what you meant by 'i know that everything is written and i feel like such a bad muslim' and..'i always think what if...people joked around with me about wanting everything to be perfect but is now is affecting me badly'

Baraka Allah (feek/i)

:w:

[glo]

Hi anonymous

You know, it is not a bad thing to want to be your best and to do the best you can. In fact, those are very plaudible qualities! :)

What you may need to learn, is how to cope when things don't go as well as you had planned, or if you mess up in some way.

You may strive to be perfect (which is fine), but you are not perfect (and that is also fine!)
Nobody is perfect, except for God himself.

You are fine the way you are.
Learn to love yourself as you are - be proud of your strengths and learn to live with your weaknesses. After all, the sum of those is what makes you you. :statisfie

Peace

[chacha_jalebi]

i just failed to send off my friend work to uni, she sended me her work late

she sended me her work!! dont you mean she sent me her work :p see dont worry your not a perfectionist, i jus solved your problem, *recieves a call from the national advice centre for a job* ooo yeah :shade:

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[AnonymousPoster]

:sl: u know what i mean is a website not an:D exam...:D sky i mean i feel guilty, she couldnt send it to uni something wrong with her computer.
What i meant is i know everything is written as muslims we should say Alhamdu Allah when things go bad or good bad i feel that if i do things perfectly i wouldnt be dissapointed. I know is silly:-[

[sevgi]

:sl: u know what i mean is a website not an:D exam...:D sky i mean i feel guilty, she couldnt send it to uni something wrong with her computer.
What i meant is i know everything is written as muslims we should say Alhamdu Allah when things go bad or good bad i feel that if i do things perfectly i wouldnt be dissapointed. I know is silly:-[

its not silly...its just that you werent very clear in your first post and we-im guessing others also-- couldnt grasp the connection between your perfectionistness and ur frends assignment..i still dnt bt hey..i get what u mean.

sis. i am also a perfectionist. bt i underwent dramatic bluntening..i know that not a word...maybe i shud say filing...

listen up. perfectionism entails the disrespect, disregard and distrust in and of other people. nothing they do is ever good enough.

i clean the kitchen after my mum..is just not...what do u call it...'perfect'...

bt the funny thing is 'perfect' is relative. my perfect aint the same as your perfect.

regardless, it is called perfectionism...

i wud hang clothes on the line with matching pegs...God forbit i used the drier...i wud vaccum my room, sprinkle it with like vanilla carpet scented powder...list goes on...

i am an editor...for many university journals and im producing and editing a mag of my own...an article which can be edited in two mins...i totally write a new rendition of!!! coz its just not my way..or its just not perfect.

i did an interview with a guy...when i sent him the edited version..he said "it doesnt sound like me"...he was right..it sounded the way i wanted him to...the way i thought the audience wanted to hear him...

its sick really. well, what happened was i looked bak into why i was like this...after i worked that out, i managed to help myself..i started throwing my clothes on the floor...i started unpiking the curtains chain thing,,,i started not waking up at 8am everyday..

i didnt un-height order my bookshelf no...thats not happening...

i had to force everything outta me. i mean..how can taking a shower everyday possibly benefit me when i have so much work to do..have one very two days...ur nt bloody dirty...i was wasting sooo much time on silly things...God..dnt even get into teeth brushing..haha..im still like that...

it has to be a conscious move coz u have to realise it is due to the fact that u dont think others are equal to you..or that u deserve the best..vallahi thats what it is...

keep that in mind...

like..how dare ur friend send it last two mins...how pathetic..YOU wud NEVER do anything like that...???

think of the flaws u do have sis...do u pray all ur salat? yes? do u do them exactly when it adhans?

we shud be perfectionists in important things...try letting go of the silly ones inshallah...its all in ur head and hands..u can do it...u just have to realise how corrupt u mind is for wanting to be perfect....

w/s

sevgi

[snakelegs]

great post, sumeyye!

[AnonymousPoster]

:sl: wow sumeye i can sooooo relate to your post, made me laugh a bit because i am like that too. i:statisfie but i know what you mean,,


about the deen i should strive for perfection there i try to pray my salat but my mind is always on other stupid things maybe is the shytan trying to waste my time and me like a loser falling for it :?
everything makes sense suyeye u rock :thumbs_up:D topic can be closed:D

[sevgi]

:sl:

im glad that helped...i jst know coz i am/was the same..like somethings become habit and they are cool...as long as u arent hurting others unintentionally etc etc..yeh...i think enuf said..

thanks to everyones "u rock" comments..elhamdullilah...if we know something...it is in our religion that we must pass it on...im just being humane, ie: muslim.

:w:

[umu-hudayfah]

:sl:

What's wrong with being a "perfectionist"? I would love to be one, then my house wouldn't look as messy as it does sometimes nor would my husband come home sometimes and have no dinner waiting for him at the table so pass some of your perfectionism to me girls :D