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AnonymousPoster
06-19-2008, 08:11 AM
:sl:

i hope ur all well inshallah. am writing coz i would like some advice.. have a few issues, find it hard to deal with. i would appreciate if anyone could help inshallah.

The thing is i have issues with alot of things, going thru confusing/hard phase , i am worried abt my health as its been bad, constantly tired at a young age, the life style i have have is leading to alot of negativity in my life. i used to be positive at one point, now am down for some time. am scared abt my future, very negative, i see people around me and their happy, hear people are getting married and some way cant help feel jealous. hate feeling like that, honest , but am scared whats going to happen when its my turn honest.

The dreams and wishes you have abt things, and u dont know if u ever will get those things.. i hope to inshallah, but i have start believing that the things u wish or want dont happen, u have to accept what u get.. is that right?
Theres no harm in wanting /desiring certain things in your life or wanting certain things in ur future spouse. Nothing is hard for Allah SWT, he can do anyfin, i know i have to trust him, its just am nt confident and feel upset when i think abt what i want, and maybe the those fings might nt happen :cry:.

i dnt wana feel upset or jealous of otha ppls Kismat/Fate . whether they marry people beta than me, i just want us all to be happy inshallah

Im obessive,i liked someone, at work, he doesnt know, and i think he has someone else, unfortunately, and i couldnt stand it when i knew abt it, i tried to keep away from him as much as possible, i havnt seen him for a long time, and feel better, but the stupid things i put myself thru so much for this person, i tortured myself too much..i.e.thinking abt him constantly, and hes probably happy as ever, forgotten me..:unhappy: i was funny wid him.. didnt like the person he was..wanted him to change, i was sometimes mean to him becoz of what he use to say..am nt really like that, i wanted good for him honest, but sometimes i just said things bluntly which i didnt mean. regret those silly things, get the feeling he dislikes me big time. dnt want him to remember me like that. I really hope he becomes practising inshallah. he did say he changed, i really hope so inshallah.. i hate it when ur finkin of them and they dnt care.. this situation has effected me for a while, when i pray i feel beta, but i have the habit of going bak to those things and hurt myself over and over. now am realising that i have to stop this, its aint gud..i wish the things we desired did happen or even better inshallah.Sometimes we wish we can control our kisma/fate, to some extent u can, most of the time u cant.Allah hu Alim.

i fell in love with fantasy, but the truth is, reality is somewhat different..really different:enough!:and i have to get out of it, am nearly there, some how whats in our minds is what we crave for and no matter how hard we cry and want it doesnt happen.. so what do we get instead? I hope inshallah much better than we even think, but nt confident abt that .. whats the point of wishing and wanting?? The duas we make, i Really hope he Answers, inshallah, because i feel fate isnt on my side.
i really hope these insecurities go.

i hope Allah isnt angered with me, am nt that practicising, inshallah will try to be. Allah hu alim, Allah knows best, may he do best for us all

please advice if u can..Jazakallah khair,


:w:
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IbnAbdulHakim
06-19-2008, 01:25 PM
Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullaah

mashaAllaah, im very happy that you at least said you will try to be more practising, i inshaAllaah will try the same.


I dont know what advice to give to be honest

why do we disobey Allaah? i guess thats something to think about. Allahs told us to lower our gaze, to fast to subside desires, to pray in order to remember him, to give charity to extinguish sins.

yet we disobey, and disobey and disobey....

and then we get confused, and our hearts feel messed, so we go to that pious someone who we think has something they can offer and we spill our problems. And then at the end of the huge mess caused by our spilling, he looks... he smiles.... and that smile says a million words..... "ya its only life bro... dnt wry it'll pass and things will get better". But its not just that, his smile shows his inside purity, you can see he is content, but wait you know him... his got a million problems! how can he smile so?... its because his been bestowed wiv sabr (patience) and sakeena (inner peace).


make dua', fast, ask Allaah, perform ur salaah (5 times namaz) do everything to please Allaah and ur problems will fade inshaAllaah

believein qadr... BELIEVE that the pen is lifted, the ink has dried, whats to come shall pass, and our patience shall only grant us a better place in jannah.

We know wether we cry, wether we laugh, wether we intend it or not that whats to come shall pass, and the test lies with our reaction and how we deal with it. This whole life... after all.. is a test


Assalamu Alaikum
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AnonymousPoster
06-19-2008, 02:29 PM
What do you need advice on?
Reply

AnonymousPoster
06-19-2008, 02:32 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender2
What do you need advice on?
And urm jealousy is haraam keep that in mind :D

And about the dreams and wishes you hope for, just think, for those that get everything in the dunya, Allah will say to them, you've had your jannah in the worldy life, you should be waiting for jannah in the akhirah, have a crap life here, who cares? the crap life here is temporary innay and in the akhirah it is eternal

And jus'mek dua woman, :thumbs_up
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AnonymousPoster
06-19-2008, 03:19 PM
:sl:



I Need advice on , is wishing and wanting any point? do we ever get those things that we ask for.. or do we accept fate? i feel that what i want in life, what i want in my spouse may nt be possible, even if it is realistic. am going thru this negative phase.. i look down at everfin..will things work out for me the way i want.
i cant help but feel jealous as ppl i know r gettin married, and i cant control it, i wish i could emotionally.. i hate the feeling.. i want to be happy, i want us all to be happy inshallah, i dnt wana be upset, thinking i dnt have what i want..

My friends say its kismat/Fate... kismat hey.. really? i dnt want my kismat to be bad.. dnt want it for any1, just insecure abt my future.. my studies,career,marrriage etc... and too busy worrying whats going to happen to me, when i shuld be happy for others. ALLAH SWT help inshallah!

Allah knows best
Jazakallah
:w:
Reply

IbnAbdulHakim
06-19-2008, 03:20 PM
kismat/qadr can be changed with sincere dua'.


ask and ask and ask and inshaAllaah it will be answred

Assalamu Alaikum
Reply

AnonymousPoster
06-19-2008, 03:27 PM
:sl:

really can kismat be changed....i heard that Rasul SAW said something like that, tell me if am wrong.Allah Knows what i want, its just i wana be happy but dnt wana be unhappy for us.. teh fears and insecurities of insan...Allah hu alim, i guess Allah SWT was the only one who could bring peace, its just i was so obsessed wid wanting something , that i only hurt myself.

Alllah Guide me and the ummah! inshallah:statisfie
JAZAKALALH FOR UR ADVICE
Reply

AnonymousPoster
06-19-2008, 03:28 PM
INSHALLAH my duas and the duas of the muslims will be answered.:D
Reply

IbnAbdulHakim
06-19-2008, 03:30 PM
^ seek refuge in Allaah from whatever it is you may fear !

yes really, its from a sahih hadith that if you make sincere' dua' it can change your destiny.


Allah loves it when his slaves ask of him


so ask..


Assalamu Alaikum
Reply

AnonymousPoster
06-19-2008, 03:49 PM
:sl:

i guess so , going back to Allah SWT, asking and praying inshallah. inshallah, i will try to start, and inshallah these insecurities will go . The Rasul SAW, i fink said wid enough imaan , the problems/calamities of the dunya will become easy, parapharasing, but inshallah Allah Guide me, and give me and others everything we want here and the akhira inshallah.

Rab rakah
Reply

IbnAbdulHakim
06-19-2008, 03:53 PM
Ameen inshaAllaah



Assalamu Alaikum
Reply

anonymous
06-20-2008, 10:31 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
Assalamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullaah

believein qadr... BELIEVE that the pen is lifted, the ink has dried, whats to come shall pass, and our patience shall only grant us a better place in jannah.

Assalamu Alaikum
just slightly off topic here, some people may feel a little paranoid that the pens been lifted, etc but not beasue they think its a bad thing, they dont, but beause they are scared that what they want hasnt been decreed. so how would you advice them?
Reply

IbnAbdulHakim
06-20-2008, 10:34 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
just slightly off topic here, some people may feel a little paranoid that the pens been lifted, etc but not beasue they think its a bad thing, they dont, but beause they are scared that what they want hasnt been decreed. so how would you advice them?
i would advise them to make lots of dua'


Assalamu Alaikum
Reply

Cabdullahi
06-20-2008, 10:42 AM
I think i know who this is
Reply

anonymous
06-20-2008, 10:50 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
i would advise them to make lots of dua'


Assalamu Alaikum
oh fanks:) back on topic now:)
I think i know who this is
best to keep someones privacy :)
Reply

crayon
06-20-2008, 10:54 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
just slightly off topic here, some people may feel a little paranoid that the pens been lifted, etc but not beasue they think its a bad thing, they dont, but beause they are scared that what they want hasnt been decreed. so how would you advice them?
Yup, dua'a is the only thing that can change what is written insha Allah.:)
Reply

AnonymousPoster
06-20-2008, 08:22 PM
:sl:

and i pray that what we wish for we get inshallah or even better.. fate hey.. Allah hu alim, were gunghar and make a lot of mistakes, i hope and pray the fate decreed will be good inshallah and we will not feel insecure if we see others wid better kismat.. Fate..
Our stay here is not long, i hope inshallah us sisters get the best of husbands, in this dunya and akhira and vice versa for the brothers. i hope we become better people, as muslims. this journey were on, dont now when its going to end, hope am ready for his questioning inshallah.

i try to be sincere in my dua.. i hope Allah will answer my duas and the duas of his ummah/creation. Everyone has there own challenges and issues, calamities etc...May he help us all.Ameen.
Trust Allah ... and hopefully inshallah everyfing will be okay..

thanks for trying to help people:statisfie
Jazakallah khair


:w:
Reply

Eeman
06-29-2008, 05:39 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
:sl:

i hope ur all well inshallah. am writing coz i would like some advice.. have a few issues, find it hard to deal with. i would appreciate if anyone could help inshallah.

The thing is i have issues with alot of things, going thru confusing/hard phase , i am worried abt my health as its been bad, constantly tired at a young age, the life style i have have is leading to alot of negativity in my life. i used to be positive at one point, now am down for some time. am scared abt my future, very negative, i see people around me and their happy, hear people are getting married and some way cant help feel jealous. hate feeling like that, honest , but am scared whats going to happen when its my turn honest.

The dreams and wishes you have abt things, and u dont know if u ever will get those things.. i hope to inshallah, but i have start believing that the things u wish or want dont happen, u have to accept what u get.. is that right?
Theres no harm in wanting /desiring certain things in your life or wanting certain things in ur future spouse. Nothing is hard for Allah SWT, he can do anyfin, i know i have to trust him, its just am nt confident and feel upset when i think abt what i want, and maybe the those fings might nt happen :cry:.

i dnt wana feel upset or jealous of otha ppls Kismat/Fate . whether they marry people beta than me, i just want us all to be happy inshallah

Im obessive,i liked someone, at work, he doesnt know, and i think he has someone else, unfortunately, and i couldnt stand it when i knew abt it, i tried to keep away from him as much as possible, i havnt seen him for a long time, and feel better, but the stupid things i put myself thru so much for this person, i tortured myself too much..i.e.thinking abt him constantly, and hes probably happy as ever, forgotten me..:unhappy: i was funny wid him.. didnt like the person he was..wanted him to change, i was sometimes mean to him becoz of what he use to say..am nt really like that, i wanted good for him honest, but sometimes i just said things bluntly which i didnt mean. regret those silly things, get the feeling he dislikes me big time. dnt want him to remember me like that. I really hope he becomes practising inshallah. he did say he changed, i really hope so inshallah.. i hate it when ur finkin of them and they dnt care.. this situation has effected me for a while, when i pray i feel beta, but i have the habit of going bak to those things and hurt myself over and over. now am realising that i have to stop this, its aint gud..i wish the things we desired did happen or even better inshallah.Sometimes we wish we can control our kisma/fate, to some extent u can, most of the time u cant.Allah hu Alim.

i fell in love with fantasy, but the truth is, reality is somewhat different..really different:enough!:and i have to get out of it, am nearly there, some how whats in our minds is what we crave for and no matter how hard we cry and want it doesnt happen.. so what do we get instead? I hope inshallah much better than we even think, but nt confident abt that .. whats the point of wishing and wanting?? The duas we make, i Really hope he Answers, inshallah, because i feel fate isnt on my side.
i really hope these insecurities go.

i hope Allah isnt angered with me, am nt that practicising, inshallah will try to be. Allah hu alim, Allah knows best, may he do best for us all

please advice if u can..Jazakallah khair,


:w:
Dear sister it seems to me that you are asking questions that you already know the answers to yourself, all you need is some time out and some reflection upon yourown sprirituality and believes.

i mean Masha'Allah you have some eemaan in your heart but im sorry to say from what it seems to me (Allah swt knows best) your eemaan is weak, you know that pre marital relationships are forbidden by Allah swt, you know that jealousy is wrong but yet you are not doing what you should be doing as a muslim sister, you are sitting there being in despair about your fate and what Allah swt has written for you and it not being what you want, and you say Allah knows best at the same time so REFLECT!

yes Allah swt does know best, and we really dont He is the All Wise, All Knower, you may think something is good for you when in reality it is not, Allah swt knows better than we do and it may seem hurtful but He is the Most Merciful, He has too much mercy on His slaves to deprive them off something that is good for them unless He has written something much much much better for you.

And yes He does answer every supplication ( dua) made to Him but sister you need to think to yourself and reflect, why would Allah swt answer your dua when you cant even take time out 5 times a day out of your worldy life to praise and glorify Him????

Many people get in despair so easily cos they think oh Allah swt has promised us that He wll answer our duas and they make dua and then it doesnt get answered as they want it to and loose all hope. but what they forget to think about is hold on why is He not answering my dua, could it be cos i dont even follow His way of life, i dont even praise and gorify Him, i dont do my salah, i only remember Him when i am in need or going through a hard time then when He blesses me with ease i forget again? Or it could be cos your being tested, patience is the greatest attribute a character can have, Allah swt is sure to test you and sure to answer your duas but at the time when He wants to when it is the right time, or maybe cos you are asing for something which He knows is not good for you and has something much better planned for you, or cos He is depriving you of it in this world but will bestow it upon you multiplied in the hereafter.

these feelings of insecurities and jealously will do nothing but destroy yourself inside sister, this is why salah is so important, if only non practsing sisters and brothers knew about the virtues of salah, it protects you fromm all this, it lifts you up and gives you peace and strength, it automatically makes you refrain from doing things that are not right, and so many other things.

i suggest you take your 1st step and start praying, then see how Insha'Allah everything starts changing.

I pray that Allah swt makes the straight path easy for you to walk on and hold on tight to His rope.

ma salama.
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