Scared to do Istikhara

[Tanya Khan]

Asaalam o laikum brothers and sisters :)

I want someone on my behalf to do Istikhara..but, 1) I ahven't got no one to do it for me and 2) I heard you have to be a namaazi to be able to do Iskikhara yourself.

Also, I'm not even sure I should do Istikhara for the sort of problem I have.

I have been seeing someone for almost 1 year and we keep arguing and I feel like he is not the right person for me. He is several years younger than me, and I'm near to my 30s.

It is haram for me to be in a relationship, :-[ that is the reason I am hesitating and worried about doing Ishtikhara because it's not valid if it is not within the laws of Allah SWT. I'm seeing someone and am not even married so that is wrong in itself. I just want to know if it is good for me to stay with this person so I can marry him (which we are both thinking of at the moment).

I don't want to stay with him and he hurts me somewhere down the line and I find out he is not the right person for me. I'd rather find out the answer now and leave him. I am very very indecisive and I don't know what to do? I'm finding it very hard to just leave as I feel so lonely and I have already been married once and I don't want to make the mistake of being with the wrong person again.

Please help and advise me. Thank you :cry:

[------]

:salamext:

1) I ahven't got no one to do it for me

You have to do it yourself anyway.

2) I heard you have to be a namaazi to be able to do Iskikhara yourself.

Sis all Muslims should be a 'namaazi'. You are supposed to pray 5 times a day, and leaving off the prayer is a MAJOR sin, which can take you outside the fold of Islaam!



Please check out this thread for more information on Salaah (namaz); there is an MP3 lecture and also a booklet on the consequences of leaving off of the prayer;
http://www.islamicboard.com/islamic-...tml#post950824



Sis Allaah Knows what is best for us, we don't. You should not be scared to do Istikharah, because whatever the outcome will be, it will be the best for your Imaan and your Aakhirah InshaaAllaah, because that is the whole point of the prayer, that Allaah will Guide you to what is correct.



Check this thread out InshaaAllaah for information on how to perform Istikharah;

http://www.islamicboard.com/advice-s...-guidance.html

[snakelegs]

of course, i can't advise you about istikhara but it sounds to me like you have serious doubts about this guy and maybe even think that you better grab him because you think the fact that you're 30 and have been married before might mean that you can't do any better.
forgive me if i'm way off here.....
:hiding:

[suffiyan007]

istikhara,is the solah that we cant make a desicion/decision...so we pray to Allah for guidance...no need to be scared to istikhara...is just like additional prayer for Allah...Believe in yourself and God..u be able to istikhara...so be happy...allah will guide you...as long as u dont leave ya obligatory 5x prayer...Allah help to choose on ya desicion/decision...:sl::Dinsyaallah.

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[Eeman]

Dear sister,
the fact that you have admitted to not being steadfast in salah and on top of that being in a pre marital relationship which in it self is wrong and forbidden in islam, i do not know if you would get the guidance i mean only Allah swt knows, so i believe that you should at least try, and see what happens. then if you fail to get any signs or a dream ask your parents to do it for you, usually thats what parents do when a rishta comes to their house.

i pray that Insha'Allah Allah swt guides you to whats best for you in this life and the next.
but sis just an advice please do start your salah, you'll be amazed at the good it naturally and automatically does for you.

ma salama.

[------]

:salamext:

Did you do it sis?

[Tanya Khan]

:salamext:

Did you do it sis?

No, I haven't, but I'm not sure I should do it if I'm in a relaionship before marriage, I can only ask for something if it's lawful, and I knwo marriage is lawful, but that fact that i'm seeing this guy outside of marriage is making me think I will get a negative answer :cry:

[Tanya Khan]

Dear sister,
the fact that you have admitted to not being steadfast in salah and on top of that being in a pre marital relationship which in it self is wrong and forbidden in islam, i do not know if you would get the guidance i mean only Allah swt knows, so i believe that you should at least try, and see what happens. then if you fail to get any signs or a dream ask your parents to do it for you, usually thats what parents do when a rishta comes to their house.

i pray that Insha'Allah Allah swt guides you to whats best for you in this life and the next.
but sis just an advice please do start your salah, you'll be amazed at the good it naturally and automatically does for you.

ma salama.

Salaam sis :)

Thank you for replying.

I know I do feel so much better when I'm praying I need to start asap. Even though i could enevr do all 5 prayers, I do try my best. I read what I can. You right, I might not get the guidance because I'm in a pre marital relationship. I don't know what to do? I don' even know if I'll be able to get married again (read my other thread 'please help' and you'll know what i mean) that's another reason why I have to put Istikhara on hold.

[------]

No, I haven't, but I'm not sure I should do it if I'm in a relaionship before marriage, I can only ask for something if it's lawful, and I knwo marriage is lawful, but that fact that i'm seeing this guy outside of marriage is making me think I will get a negative answer :cry:

:salamext:

Whatever answer you will get, it will be the best for your deen and Aakhirah, I assure you.