Depressed

[anonymous]

Salaamalakum and Hello

Ive been depressed for a very long time now. Ive never liked myself at all sinice i was young because of my physical appearance but i try not to show it to anyone, i hide it, i hide my true feelings of myself so that no one knows. But every time i look at myself i just cant stand it. I feel like commiting sucide or running away forever. I dont think anyone would even care im gone. I sometimes get so depressed i cry as if crying would help me but i just cant help it. Who in the world would want some one like me? i dont diserve no one and no one diserves to be stuck with me.

I need help, going to a psychiatrist is not a option for me.

Thanks

[Khayal]

:sl:

Beauty is most certainly in the eyes of the beholder.

Dear Sister/Brother, nobody is perfect: everyone has some good and some bad aspects; some have physical beauty but no character, while others have character yet no physical beauty. Still others have both....and whoever has beauty in character is more beautiful than one who has it physically....
The thing is, people can overcome characteristic faults by educating themselves and such.

Below is an excerpt of an article I have linked to at the bottom if this post. Read it, please, and reflect;

The real test of beauty or ugliness, though, is to be found in a person's character. Goodness of character shines out. People who have a good character, a beautiful character, attract others to them. It has nothing to do with what they look like, but it is the kind of person they are. We read in the holy Qur'an that..
[We [Allah] have created humans in the best of moulds.]
(At-Tin 95:4).
Allah didn't make mistakes with any part of His creation, so every person has a real capacity for beauty. It is how we use the gifts and the talents that Allah gives us that makes our character good or bad. We can grow in virtue day by day, by doing good deeds and by keeping to the commandments and the tenets of our faith.


link.

:w:

[Eric H]

Greetings and peace be with you anonymous;

I feel for you, I have been there and lived that experience, somehow I have come through it and am now a grandfather. I watched my son grow up and thought he would be like me having to put up with all the insults and feelings of rejection as I did.

He turned out the opposite, my nineteen year old son is everything I was not, he has the looks and the confidence to go with it. He does not have to try, his phone never stops ringing, people always want to be with him.

Sometimes I look back and think what it might have been to have the looks and the confidence as my son has. But I know deep down I would not want to have swapped and been like him. Somehow when you believe that you have nothing going for you, you then have to try far harder than everyone else to do things.

If you cannot accept yourself for what you are, how is anyone else going to accept you. If you have nothing going for you at the moment then try and help others, there are always people needing help, the sick, disabled, and lonely people. In diverting your energy to helping other people, you will help yourself in so many ways.

Most importantly there is the need to pray to a loving God, who loves you for who you are. God never places a burden on anyone that is too heavy, there is the need to believe and trust this is true.

You are in my prayers.

We pray in our way; and Allah answers in his way

I asked for Strength.........
And Allah gave me Difficulties to make me strong.
I asked for Wisdom.........
And Allah gave me Problems to solve.
I asked for Prosperity.........
And Allah gave me Brain and Brawn to work.
I asked for Courage.........
And Allah gave me Danger to overcome.
I asked for Love.........
And Allah gave me Troubled people to help.
I asked for Favours.........
And Allah gave me Opportunities.

I received nothing I wanted
I received everything I needed
My Prayer has been answered.

Pray for Others to Heal Yourself.

The Prophet was always concerned about other people, Muslims and non-Muslims, and would regularly pray for them. Praying for others connects you with them and helps you understand their suffering. This in itself has a healing component to it. The Prophet has said that praying for someone who is not present increases love.

In the spirit of praying for an inner peace that surpasses all understanding.

Eric

[Eeman]

Dear sister or brother,

I pray that Insha'Allah Allah swt gets you out of te state that you in.

I would first like to tell you one thing, you are not alone, every single soul on the face of this planet have issues and problems in life and go through depression more than they should do in their lifet time itis sad that this is what the world has come to in this day ad age but unfortunately we cannot change that, the only thing we can d is change ourselves and our own perspective of ourselves and how we see ourselves and how to perfect onselve within and strive to become a better person.

For starters the way we are physically is something way beyond our power or will it is what Allah swt with His mercy has bestowed upon us every slave of Allah swt is beautiful and unique! and true beauty shines from within i know as cliched as that may sound but that is the absolute truth.

In my short life i have seen and experienced way too many things, it saddens me that nowadays people forget that in order for soeone to be truely beautiful you need to see beyond what they look like and have a look inside.

there are people out there in this world that are so beautiful to the eye physically that sometimes you look at them ad get mesmerised by what your eyes are seeing, but the saddest part is that these people inside can be the most ugliest people walking on the face of this planet. i do not know where to begin in making you understand how ugly these people really are.

it is easy to fall into despair but remember that despair and depression are things that you seek refuge in Allah swt from, being depressed or letting the way you look externally take you to the brink of thinkig about committing suicide is the most ungratful thing i have ever heard and it is ok, cos us humans are ungratful, if you were to sit there and count the blessings and favours of Allah swt upon you, you woul never succeed cos they are endless.

but for us humans it is easy to dothat, whenever i go through the low points in life and out of pity for myself sit there and sulk about things i always remember one thing my sister once said to me many years when i was going through depression.

She said look at you! Alhumdullilah you have roof over your head, food to eat, your loving family around you, clothes to wear and the luxuries of life, how dare you be so ungrateful!!!!!!
There are innocent young children in countries who dont even have clean water to drink!!! And you sit here telling me that you cannot go on cos your life is over??
she said how dare you throw all His swt's blessings and favours upon you away like that... get up do 2 rakah nafl and thank and glorify Him for His blessings upon you.

and at times when i do feel myself feeling a little down that is exacly what i do, i think about those innocent children, who dont even have the means of having clean drinking water to drink, some who are orphans others who die of hunger and i say Alhumdullilah and seek refuge in Allah swt from ungratefulness.

they way you look is a blessing from the almighty, and never be unappreciative of it, strive for His sake to make yourself beautiful in the inside cos that is where true beauty lies and can capture the hearts of people.

you say you do not deserve to be with anyone....
how can you even say that or feel that way?
when you have perfected yourself internally and follow His path many people would not deserve you!!! You would be a blessing in their life.

So be thankful for the two legs, two arms, health, sight, hearing every sigle thng He has blessed you with, cos believe you me there are people in this world that do not even have that! God forbid if you were one of them what would you have done then?????

Allah swt does not burden a soul with more than it can bare i know sisters out there that are going through sooooooooo much i their lives, soooooooo much you cannot begin to imagine and honestly if they turned around and said to me i'm taking the exit card out i would understand but NO! they are steadfast and thankful, cos they do not look at people above them but people below them and thank Allah swt and whenever i call them to see how they are, they are so hopeful and you know what they say to me, the only thing that keeps them going is the light at the end of the tunnel, cos Allah swt has promised us that after every hardship there is not one but TWO reliefs!!!

Dear sister or brother stop being sucked into the dogma of looks and beauty if you are a sister then quit looking at these magazines or watching programmes on tv about glamorous people and models, let me ask you something, what in this world makes you think that these externally beautiful people that you see are blessed and happy, you think their looks take away their problems and make their lives blissful an happy?

I once used to have a friend who was a model, a beautiful young sister, but the most amazing thing about her was that she was so beautiful and humble in the inside too. Masha'Allah!
and i'm telling you things my own eyes have seen, a true story...
you may think that her looks was the biggest blessing of her life, but no it was her beauty inside, it came to the point in her life where this sister's looks became her biggest curse, people hated her out of envy, she had no true friends, there were people that had a problem knowing that she even existed and was breathing and they went as far as destroying each and everything in her life!!!
and they succeeded, they destroyed her career, they destroyed her home they destroyed everything of hers, and that was when she came to me and asked me for help and advice and fully submitted to Allah swt Masha'Allah.

no one can say cos they have been through depression that they can understand where your coming from, cos out of experience one thing i have learnt is that no other soul can feel the pain that ones heart feels. But you need to constantly remind yourself only He knows what your heart feels and only He puts that feeling in your heart so turn to Him fully and seek refuge in Him and dont deny His blessings and favours on you and thank Him.

The best way of healing the heart for depression is reading the Qur'an and read it out loud (not too loud just enough that you can hear) Allah swt tells us that He has sent the Qur'an as a mercy and healing to mankind so do not neglect it.

Surah Ar Rahman and surah Yasin, ayat al kursi, al falaq, al nas are said to be the best surahs for healing along wth surah Al Fateha.

so be steadfast in your salah and read the Qur'an and Insha'Allah Allah swt will help you.
I know He will but you need to do your part first.

I hope i have not said anything to offend you in any way. If i have i pray that Allah swt and you can forgive me.

Ma salama.

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[liono79]

Asallam o laikum,
Hope you and your family are in good health.
I can understand exactly some of what you are going through. As I young kid I developed much more quickly than your average kid. My height, voice and facial hair etc was apparent at a very young age. I used to get called all sorts of names from primary school to secondary school. I used to look at myself and hate my body physically (although nothing was wrong with it). I used to get really upset and my sisters would come to my aid and tell me nothing was wrong with me physically. This went on for many years. I used to hide my appearance and my true feelings for years. Really deep inside I was really depressed.
I know look back and look at the way I used to look. I really regret getting myself in that position, but to an extent there was nothing I could really do about it. I was young and at that age my body was changing and I didnt know why.
Everyone is this world gets depressed be it women and men. If we didnt we wouldnt to an extent be human. Women tend to get more depressed especially about their appearance. Ask any girl or women if their happy with their body, your answer will be a definite NO. What we see on TV has contributed to alot of women hating their bodies and wanting to be perfect in every way.

Please dont get too much depressed about your appearance. I promise it is a phase and will soon pass by. Please believe me. You have probably heard this a million times but beauty is skin deep. Please be patient and pray to Allah swt. Take care and dont get too upset.

Wasalam.

[suffiyan007]

"Everything(God) has made pretty in its time" (Ecclesiates 3:11)...

" I call them not to witness the creation of the heavens and the earth"(Surah Al-kahf:51)

God has made us a human. Everyone has its own beauty. Suffering imperfection is normal in the world.Dont feel u r an ugly duckling...even everyone has its own strength and weaknesses. Right my friend. Why look are so important to us? how tall and how short we must look attractive and beautiful or handsome?

"Don't let the world around squeeze you into its own mould."(Roman 12: 2,philips)

i had read the book of meditation. this Quote for you:

"Love is universal,supreme, all sufficing,This the realisation of selfless love".
" The Body is the image of the mind".
"A changed attitude of mind changes the character,the habits,the life."

Just happy to be yourself...and u r unique..!

[Snowflake]

Salaamalakum and Hello

Ive been depressed for a very long time now. Ive never liked myself at all sinice i was young because of my physical appearance but i try not to show it to anyone, i hide it, i hide my true feelings of myself so that no one knows. But every time i look at myself i just cant stand it. I feel like commiting sucide or running away forever. I dont think anyone would even care im gone. I sometimes get so depressed i cry as if crying would help me but i just cant help it. Who in the world would want some one like me? i dont diserve no one and no one diserves to be stuck with me.

I need help, going to a psychiatrist is not a option for me.

Thanks

asalam alaikum wr wb,

Sometimes when I'm in a group of people, I find myself observing the different types of personalities people have. And I realise that it's not the pretty ones who are the most popular, but the most confident ones. I know it feels as if people are only attracted to looks, but it's not true. I have seen many many 'ugly' women with husbands who love and adore them and describe them as 'the most beautiful woman in the world'. That says a lot.

I too feel inferior sometimes. But I'm also a die-hard optimist. Whatever I lack, I console myself with the thought of attaining it in Jannah, inshaAllah. it also helps to open my eyes and look around and think, "Well, yup! My hands work fine, my arms and legs do superbly what they are meant to. Everything is in working order and that itself makes everything BEAUTIFUL!' That really is a big consolation in those times. So focus on what you have and it's abilities to function properly and you will feel grateful you're not missing a limb or two. Concentrate what is there, and not what isn't. It's not a permanent cure, but it does help to keep the severe negativity at bay.

Oh, and just to realise that physical beauty isn't the be all and end all, look at our Prince Charlie, who chose Camilla over Diana with her stunning looks. It just goes to show that there are people put there who see beyond a person's looks and find something deeper in them that they appreciate and find beautiful.

Take up meditation inshaAllah. Try this. Sit in a quiet place, preferably in darkness or semidarkness and imagine blue-light from heaven entering your body from the top of your head and earthing through your feet. Do this for no more than 10 minutes at a time twice a day. This will help you feel more positive in general.

Above all, be steadfast in your deen. Don't neglect salah. Recite Al-Quran and observe purity of the heart and tongue. InshaAllah, this will bring noor to your face. And make lots of duaa to Allah for all your needs. Nothing is beyond Him.


wa alaikum asalam wr wb.