Dont judge me i just want a answer

[AnonymousPoster]

:sl: in islam contraception is disliked, women should only use it if the pregnancy will cause bad health or so, what about those women that want to marry but dont want to have children yet, not everyone woman wants to have lots of kids, children are a blessing but is not for everyone, if both the man and the woman agree on contraception, is it haram?
also what if the woman doesnt want children straight away at the beggining of the marriage and the man does can she be on the pill without him knowing afterall is her body, or does the man have a say on that as well:-[w.s

[noorahmad]

walaikum salaam, personally i dont think its haraam, but if by Allah's will you become pregnant, you shouldnt despair...
or so i think...

[anonymous]

Im a different anonymous and im worried about the exact same thing!! I keep getting digs from people about having children and it just winds me up so much because Ill have children when I want to and right now I am a kid at heart myself, I dont feel ready to have children, Is it haraam to PLAN when you want to have children> Like you know what i mean:bump:

[Re.TiReD]

AssalamuAlaykum

I'm not sure of the answer to your question sister. But know that whatever happens is decreed, no matter what you do to stop it. Whatever was meant to be will always come to pass. You can never be ready for anything. You just have to embrace each opportunity and event in life as it comes.

All the best sister.

WassalamuAlaykum

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[...]

:sl:

I've heard that it's ok to use it for family planning...waallaahu a3lam. But at the same time remember that whatever Allah has decreed will come to pass.

:w:

[Cinderella]

Most husbands are most understanding about protection, if you already have a child/ren together and might want to give you a break. This is the 21st Century so no need to hide. No need for secrets.

[Cinderella]

Most husbands are most understanding about protection, if you already have a child/ren together and might want to give you a break. This is the 21st Century so no need to hide. No need for secrets..

[Cinderella]

Most husbands are most understanding about protection, if you already have a child/ren together and might want to give you a break. This is the 21st Century so no need to hide. No need for secrets...

[Ishbah]

:sl: in islam contraception is disliked, women should only use it if the pregnancy will cause bad health or so, what about those women that want to marry but dont want to have children yet, not everyone woman wants to have lots of kids, children are a blessing but is not for everyone, if both the man and the woman agree on contraception, is it haram?
also what if the woman doesnt want children straight away at the beggining of the marriage and the man does can she be on the pill without him knowing afterall is her body, or does the man have a say on that as well:-[w.s

:sl:

Well this is my take on it, and please bare in mind that I have only been a Muslim for a few years.

As far as I know, it is allowed to use contraception in an Islamic marriage for health reasons of the mother. So if you are sick, or likely to be sick if you become pregnant, then its ok to use contraception until you are healthy enough to bear a child.

I think that if you are very young, say 16 or 17 (or even older! I had my first child at 31!) and you are not ready for a child, to the extent that it worries you a lot, then you would be justified using contraception with your husband. Having a baby doesnt just put strain on your body, it puts strain on your mind especially if you are quite young. Mental health is just as valid as physical health.

Before I reverted, married and had kids I was a psychiatric nurse. I met with people who were very ill, but their illness was called 'mental illness'. But they were still sick!! They deserved as much help, compassion and treatment as anyone else that was sick! Sadly, due to stigma, often they didn't get it. But anyway, that is another story for another day.

My point is that if you feel unready for a child to the extent that it worries you so much, then having a child while feeling like that could make you sick. So contraception should be permitted until you felt ready. I also feel that if Allah (swt) wants you to have a child then you will have one! No contraception will prevent the will of Allah (swt).

I don't think you should lie to your husband. Yes it is your body, but how would you feel if he lied to you about something? Lying is haram. What if your husband thinks that there is something medically preventing you from conceiving? What if he wants you both to go for tests? Can you imagine how hurt he would feel if he found out that you had been deceiving him? It is better to tell him how you feel that that you don't feel able as yet to be a mother.

:w:

Ishbah

[Malaikah]

:sl:

Contraception for family planning is HALAL as long as it is reversible.

Question: Is birth control permitted in Islam?

Answered by Sheikh `Abd al-Wahhâb al-Turayrî, former professor at al-Imâm University in Riyadh

The use of medicine or any other form of birth control that will permanently prevent pregnancy (sterilization) is not allowed unless the mother is sick or in cases where the doctors decide that pregnancy would endanger her. In this case, a woman may take permanent measures to prevent pregnancy. This is referring to sterilization of one form or another.

Birth control is permitted for all women in order to plan when pregnancy should take place. It can be used, when and for however long needed, for the woman to postpone falling pregnant. Any form of birth control may be used without a medical necessity, as long as it does not cause permanent sterility.

The general ruling for things is permissibility except where there is specific evidence stating otherwise. Moreover, some Companions practiced early withdrawal during the time of the Prophet (peace be upon him) and he did not forbid them from doing so.

http://islamtoday.com/show_detail_se...main_cat_id=19

[Mukafi7]

:sl:

Marriage are sacred. Husband and wife should be able to discuss any topic freely. If this is not the case in ur marriage, then you may have other issues you need address first.

On the other hand, you asked that we do not judge you. I am not, but I sense from your posting that your Eman is weak. Maybe it is where you need to start.