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DaNgErOuS MiNdS
07-11-2008, 02:13 PM
Sometimes when he hear about a someone passing away at a young age people say things like it's really difficult for the parents because that young person died before his/her parents did. I was wondering what you guys think about it? surely the parents dying is just as traumatic for the children or isnt it?

I you had a choice the choice as a parent or child what would you prefer?

ofcourse the choice is Allah's swt.
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Re.TiReD
07-11-2008, 02:22 PM
AssalamuAlaykum

To be honest, I dont know and neither do I want to think about it. Lol Whatever happens we just accept it as Qadr.

WassalamuAlaykum
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IbnAbdulHakim
07-11-2008, 02:32 PM
its same both ways to me
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------
07-11-2008, 02:37 PM
Originally Posted by ...54M4K4H...
AssalamuAlaykum

To be honest, I dont know and neither do I want to think about it. Lol Whatever happens we just accept it as Qadr.

WassalamuAlaykum
Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
its same both ways to me
:salamext:

:thumbs_up
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ayan333
07-11-2008, 04:13 PM
:salamext:
i mean in a sence its harder to deal with your child passing away for ovbiously reason.age aint nothin but a number when it comes to death
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chacha_jalebi
07-11-2008, 04:25 PM
death is just ooo yeah lol we shouldnt be scared of it, just be prepared for it, make sure we have done enough!

and im sure its worser for their parents to experience losin a child at a young age, however like its also worse for a kid, especially from like 5 yrs age and upwards, so personally i dont know :D whatever is written will happen, we are all gona die one day we should be prepared innit, and death aint the end of it, inshallah we will be with the beloved ones in the next life,

to deal with death you have to be tuned in lol, like get your head around the mind sight, but words are easily spoken then done innit, i keep kinda refutin myself :muddlehea so i shall exit
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aamirsaab
07-11-2008, 04:29 PM
Originally Posted by DaNgErOuS MiNdS
Sometimes when he hear about a someone passing away at a young age people say things like it's really difficult for the parents because that young person died before his/her parents did. I was wondering what you guys think about it? surely the parents dying is just as traumatic for the children or isnt it?

I you had a choice the choice as a parent or child what would you prefer?

ofcourse the choice is Allah's swt.
Indeed, a parent dying can be traumatising for a child. However, the bond one shares with one's family and children is very sacred and important. For those who aren't parents, like me, we cannot comment on this fairly (compared to say a parent!). However we can use the older and younger point of view, for example: I have many young siblings and cousins (well, I am pakistani); for any of them to pass away (Allah forbid) would be a far more painful experience than say an older uncle etc. Mainly because the child hasn't had a proper chance at life - you hear and read about people who are alive at the age of 100 or so, then you get some children at the age of several months who pass away; it's a very painful thing to experience. I guess though, that the pain would be a lot more so if you were the parent of that child. But then, I don't really know and quite frankly I never would want to experience that!
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Al-Zaara
07-11-2008, 04:54 PM
For me right now in my life, for me personally, I'd rather die before I see my parents die. I have often thought about this, and I know it's an selfish thought and astagfirullah, I try to as little as possible think of it. Of course I know we'll be re-united someday, and inshaAllah in a better place it will be.

It is an selfish thought, I think so at least. But I can't help it. A part of me will die when they die. I will never be the same, I just know that, I can feel that. I believe I won't ever truly get over it. For I will remember when I pass their graves how I made them cry. How I was the reason they sometimes lost sleep. Got angry. Got sad. Dissappointed them.. Their graves will be my constant reminders, my constant pain. And my memories of them will be my constant strength. For if Allah so wills, that they leave this Earth before I do, I will do my best do make dua, to do deeds for them, to do whatever I can.. I want and wish so bad that they will enter Jannah. May Allah make them enter Jannah, amiin. Oh Allah, I will never be the same and You know best.

If Allah so wills that they die before me, I won't stop making dua for them, rather I will inshaAllah do more and more.. They are my everything, nothing and no one can replace them.


But at the same time, I want to live so that they won't have to go the pain of loosing a child, I know that is equally as hard! I would want to grant them grandchildren they could be proud of, I want to be a good mother to make my mother happy, a good Muslim to make my parents pleased with me. A good Muslimah so I can be a part of the shield that will protect my father from Hell's fire. [We are three daugthers, elhamdulillah. ‘Uqba ibn ‘Amir reported that he heard the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, say, “If someone has three daughters and is patient with them and clothes them from his wealth, they will be a shield against the Fire for him.”]


In pain my mother bore me and gave birth to me. In pain she took care of me and raised me. In pain she saw me cry, the sorrow I went through, the hardships. And in the greatest pain I will see her leave me. My heaven lies under her feet. My father has always been good to me and always thought of my best. He's a rolemodel to me, aswell as my mother. My parents aren't perfect, I am not perfect. But to love something, it doesn't have to be perfection. They love Allah subhana we ta'ala deeply and I pray that Allah will love them too! Amiiin!!

In the end, whatever is destiny, it will happen and I fully accept it and pray that Allah gives us strength to overcome the pain and strengthen our Emaan!

---

Now I became sad. :cry:
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al Amaanah
07-11-2008, 04:59 PM
surely the parents dying is just as traumatic for the children or isnt it?
it is.
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.: Jannati :.
07-13-2008, 05:21 PM
:sl:

I've often heard wife's saying they'd want to die before their husbands as they couldn't bear him dieing before or seeing him grieve for them. :embarrass ..which is erm Subhan'Allah

but I wouldn' like to imagine it either way either.
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suffiyan007
07-13-2008, 06:02 PM
the way of our life is written the book of of Allah(Lau mahfuz)...how much we eat,we have and we live....is destinated!...is destiny...so we can't do anything to Kun fayakun...! and power of God is so strong!....
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youngsister
07-13-2008, 10:48 PM
:sl: Sad dont even want to think about it, i agree with zara.
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arabianprincess
07-14-2008, 04:02 AM
salam wa 3lkom ... very hard Question but as other ppl answered watever allah wants we accept .. kader allh ma sha fa3al peace
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Re.TiReD
07-14-2008, 08:25 PM
AssalamuAlaykum

moving on...

In my opinion I think its more difficult for the parents to lose something they have nurtured and waited for for 9 months, somebody they have taken care of and loved. Something that is part of themselves. Something they have watched grow and flourish. I think that'd be extremely painful. SubhanAllah

WassalamuAlaykum
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chacha_jalebi
07-14-2008, 08:25 PM
are you peoplings proper discussin in this thread?

would it be koolio if i closed it

because 3 times spammers have used it...
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chacha_jalebi
07-14-2008, 10:44 PM
woh blud i jus read some of the posts! likin to close threads pssssh,

as in the past, when a specific thread was targeted it carried on bein targeted and this thread has been spammed on 3 different occasions,

but now its opened, so we can all be happy and eat icepoles and discuss whether we would like to die before our parents :p
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Z-Blade
07-14-2008, 10:49 PM
:sl:,

I don't believe it's the same. For parents you ask who have lost children, you will hear that they will remember their child always and feel the pain that they are no longer there. Whereas parents dying is more natural in a person's life, although both are obviously painful. The love of parents for their children is unique, and is given unconditionally - it's not the same as a child's love for his parents.

Allahu A'lam ;o

Wassalam.
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truemuslim
07-17-2008, 03:26 AM
It's hard for a parent losing a child. And its hard for a child losing a parent. its all the same stuff...someone die, someone cry. the end.

Besides, Death is sudden. and nobody cares bout it. its nothin scary. especially since u can't escape it. just like final destination 1 2 and 3 :D notice how death found them everywhere and everytime they tried to avoid it? Thats how it really is not just in the movie...well except the fact that u will kno the way ur gonna die. But the point is ur GONNA DIE. So if u die before yo poppy or mum then too bad, there's nothin they or you can do about it. plus age dont matter...:)
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Woodrow
07-17-2008, 04:39 AM
To a child the lose of a parent is the most painful.

To a young adult who has both living parents and children, it is difficult to seprate which is the most painful

To an adult who has already lost both parents, the lose of a child will hurt the most.


Just my humble thoughts and opinion.
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suffiyan007
07-17-2008, 01:25 PM
Originally Posted by Woodrow
To a child the lose of a parent is the most painful.

To a young adult who has both living parents and children, it is difficult to seprate which is the most painful

To an adult who has already lost both parents, the lose of a child will hurt the most.


Just my humble thoughts and opinion.

yes...is hard for the parents to accept the reality...cause so hard to raise the child and then die early before the parents!hurm!
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al Amaanah
07-18-2008, 10:27 PM
To a child the lose of a parent is the most painful.
very very true. : ( may Allah have mercy upon those parents/children who passed away, ALLAHOMMA AMEENN
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