format_quote Originally Posted by
Faye
I don't think her parents will be stalled that long. But, if they wait long enough, her chances of getting a fiance who will wait for her to finish madrasah before getting married are better.
Although I like the sound of that, I don't think that's good enough. See if you guys (you, her and others who understand her) can PROactively guide this situation, it will be much better for her than to become REactive when her parents decide to do something.
Think of it is as a battle :) we know it's not, just fancy the comparison.
You guys have won the first round. Now both of you are resting. A smart move would be for you to go into "offense" mood again. <-- hmm... i hope that made sense :)
Actually, the best would be if she gets a suitor who will allow her to continue to study after marriage. It would satisfy both her and her parents. Unfortunately, this is not one of her parent's requirements for her suitors.
OK. Can she add that requirement? Ask her parents to add that requirement? OR can she tell them to start looking for a suitor ONE year before she graduates and then she'll get married as soon as she graduates?
And you can think of other ways to kill two birds with the same stone. Since you know the situation better, you can come up with better strategies. Don't think: "Oh, that's it, there's no way out!" Ask: "How can we do things in a way that, insha'Allah, we'll get the result we want?" Create two or even three back-up plans. So, if one plan doesn't work, the next one will, insha'Allaah.
Bottomline: get on the driver's seat!
Btw, what does she plan to do professionally?
And most pakistani men, (and the in-laws) expect the bride to stay at home and keep house once they are married, even if verbal agreements were made before the marriage saying that the girl may finish her studies or continue with her career.
The keyword here is "most." If she is an exceptional girl, she'll find a way to make it happen, insha'Allah. Don't just give in flat without any attempt. (On that note, every Muslim girl is exceptional; the exceptions show to the extent one believes in herself.)
BTW, What is the marriage revolution?
Why don't you go and see what it is? :)
If you've watched
this, (or even if you didn't), you know about the serious marriage crisis amongst Muslim in the Western countries.
The Marriage Revolution is an answer to that crisis, insha'Allah.