Losing the battle.

[Eeman]

Salam alaikum brothers and sisters,

i dont know why i'm even writing this cos somehow i know that each and every reply made would be things that i already know. but i guess its the reminder of other people that helps. unfortunately i dont have the privilge of having a praticing family background or friends so hence why i turn to you guys.:smile:

i was always the person that was steadfast in salah, no matter what my salah was my number one priority, i never just prayed 5 times a day but 6, 7 or sometimes even 8 Alhumdullilah.

i had been suffering from depression so my imaan and salah and Allah swt was the only thing that kept me going, life was never great but Alhumdulillah i saw the bright side to it.

but for the past week i have realised that my imaan has become very weak, im starting to feel as though im losing the jihad within me from the rejected shaytaan. i have become mean, my family members cant even talk to me without me biting their heads off, i no longer have the peace that i used to have, i somehow just cannot help myself right afterwards i feel so bad but then it happens again its like i have no control. i just cannot tolerate anyone.
its even come to the point where my own little nieces are giving me the advice i always gave them :cry:

i even have found myself in a couple of occasions backbiting and i have always been the one person who absolutely HATES and detests backbiting and slandering. even my sisters hve pointed it out to me, salah has become a chore, and when i do force myself to do salah i get bad thoughts in my head, one things that really freaks me out i have not told this to anyone is that when i think of Allah swt i always get an image of a human in my mind and i try sooooooooooo hard to stop and i pray and ask Allah swt for forgiveness and seek refuge in Him from such thoughts but it constantly happens, i just did my zuhr prayers and the same thing,

its driving me crazy i dont know what to do!!!!!!!!!
i even feel that the sincerety has disappeared from my heart, i feel my heart has turned stone cold and hard. i am really starting to hate myself and its really getting me down.:cry::cry::cry::cry:

[Muhammad]

Thread Approved.

[Brother_Mujahid]

The fact that you still pray and make du'a to Allah shows you still believe and have faith. The fact that you get depressed is coz your human.

Just read some the stuff on this forum which should help you boost your iman and make you steadfast on this deen.

hope that helps.

wasalam

[Re.TiReD]

:salamext:

Aww sis. May Allah bless you and grant you a sweet sakeenah and may He forgive you your sins and give you patience! Ameen

Rabbi Inni Maghlooban fantasir - Oh My Lord, Certainly I am overpowered so help me.

:wasalamex

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[Eeman]

jazak'Allah khair sis for your dua

I pray that Allah swt answers each and every call you make to Him Insha'Allah.

[Re.TiReD]

jazak'Allah khair sis for your dua

I pray that Allah swt answers each and every call you make to Him Insha'Allah.

Aww wa iyaaki huni, Ameen.

May Allah (swt) grant you more...may He grant you better than the Du'aas you make for others. Ameeen!

I think we all go through periods of low Imaan, subhanAllah I think we should try to remember the good times. Ima bump up a thread for you insha'Allah called 'An Imaan so high', try reading through it and reminiscing, lol

WassalamuAlaykum

[Tania]

I am sure the change in your prayers are related to something which happened in your daily life. Even loosing a hope, a friend, a family disagreement can lead to this change. May be the daily routine, same thing day after day without any other future could lead you there.

[Lonely Gal]

keep at it, inshAllah things will get better, Allah swt is watching. Keep strong and the reward will come to you on day..inshAllah..
Am here if you wanna chat..

[Eeman]

keep at it, inshAllah things will get better, Allah swt is watching. Keep strong and the reward will come to you on day..inshAllah..
Am here if you wanna chat..

jazaka'Allah khair everyone especially sister lonely girl im so sorry i have not been in touch lately i just have so much on its unbelievable. to be reallyhonest im trying to avoid even talking about those things cos it brings things up. but Insha'Allah soon i'll email you.

i hope all is well with you and my duas are always with you.

[transition?]

:sl:

I just found an amazing book (I'm probably going to recommend this to everyone =), a book worth spamming lol) . you should give it a read, it may help you =).
http://www.islamicboard.com/685075-post26.html

[Eeman]

:sl:

I just found an amazing book (I'm probably going to recommend this to everyone =), a book worth spamming lol) . you should give it a read, it may help you =).
http://www.islamicboard.com/685075-post26.html

Jazak'Allah khair sis...
i just finished reading the 1st chapter Masha'Allah it is a great read I pray that Allah swt multiplies you in your rewards.

ma salama

[coddles76]

Salam alaikum brothers and sisters,

i dont know why i'm even writing this cos somehow i know that each and every reply made would be things that i already know. but i guess its the reminder of other people that helps. unfortunately i dont have the privilge of having a praticing family background or friends so hence why i turn to you guys.:smile:

i was always the person that was steadfast in salah, no matter what my salah was my number one priority, i never just prayed 5 times a day but 6, 7 or sometimes even 8 Alhumdullilah.

i had been suffering from depression so my imaan and salah and Allah swt was the only thing that kept me going, life was never great but Alhumdulillah i saw the bright side to it.

but for the past week i have realised that my imaan has become very weak, im starting to feel as though im losing the jihad within me from the rejected shaytaan. i have become mean, my family members cant even talk to me without me biting their heads off, i no longer have the peace that i used to have, i somehow just cannot help myself right afterwards i feel so bad but then it happens again its like i have no control. i just cannot tolerate anyone.
its even come to the point where my own little nieces are giving me the advice i always gave them :cry:

i even have found myself in a couple of occasions backbiting and i have always been the one person who absolutely HATES and detests backbiting and slandering. even my sisters hve pointed it out to me, salah has become a chore, and when i do force myself to do salah i get bad thoughts in my head, one things that really freaks me out i have not told this to anyone is that when i think of Allah swt i always get an image of a human in my mind and i try sooooooooooo hard to stop and i pray and ask Allah swt for forgiveness and seek refuge in Him from such thoughts but it constantly happens, i just did my zuhr prayers and the same thing,

its driving me crazy i dont know what to do!!!!!!!!!
i even feel that the sincerety has disappeared from my heart, i feel my heart has turned stone cold and hard. i am really starting to hate myself and its really getting me down.:cry::cry::cry::cry:

May Allah SWT keep your faith strong. I know you already understand this but Allah SWT will always test his believers, and the hardest thing is he always tests his strongst believers with hard test just to see how strong and patient you can be. Don't not give up sister, the reward with Allah SWT is beautiful beyond what this life can provide so don't give that reward up.
Try to read the Quran as much as you can because its soothing to the heart. I pray that Allah swt will keep you strong until the day of judgement and may he not trial you with a test larger then you can bear. Ameen.

Quran 2:155
Be sure We shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods or lives or the fruits (of your toil), but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere.