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qassy!
07-21-2008, 01:50 AM
Salam

In Islam do you have to get married ?

JazaKAllah
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------
07-21-2008, 10:03 AM
:wasalamex

Is Marriage Compulsory in Islam?

A Muslim always has a choice; he is never forced to do things as long as he knows the consequences of his choice and is fully responsible for the outcome of his actions. Applying this basic concept to marriage, the favored option by Allah is to find a good, pious mate and get married.

Muslims who want to please Allah must not choose celibacy for no reason while they are capable of getting married. And Muslims who are unable to get married for acceptable reasons are still expected to refrain from premarital sex until Allah wills it for them to afford marriage.

Marriage is compulsory for a man if he has the means to easily pay the dower and to support a wife and children; he is healthy; and he fears that if does not marry he may be tempted to commit fornication.

Marriage is also compulsory for a woman if she has no other means of maintaining herself and she fears that her sexual urge may push her into fornication.

But even for a person who has a strong will to control his/her sexual desire, who has no wish to have children, and who feels that marriage will keep him/her away from his/her devotion to Allah, marriage is commendable.

The general opinion is that if a person, male or female, fears that if he/she does not marry he/she will commit fornication, then marriage becomes wajib (obligatory). If a person has strong sexual urges, then it becomes wajib for that person to marry. Marriage should not be put off or delayed, especially if one has the means.

Marriage is not recommended for a man who does not possess the means to maintain a wife and future family, who has no sex drive, or who dislikes children.

The Qur’an and the Sunnah clearly show that marriage is a mithaq—a solemn covenant (agreement). It is not a matter that can be taken lightly. One should follow the Islamic rules for selecting a mate for life, and should be mature enough to understand the demands of marriage so that the union can be a lasting one.

Hopefully this gives you a better understanding of the institution of marriage in Islam. May Allah guide you and all Muslims to good loving mates.

Useful links:

The Blessed Covenant of Love and Mercy

Handling Marital Rights

Bonds of Love and Mercy

The Basis of Family

The Relationship Between Men and Women


Source
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qassy!
07-21-2008, 11:40 AM
JazaaKAllah

Marriage is compulsory for a man if he has the means to easily pay the dower and to support a wife and children; he is healthy; and he fears that if does not marry he may be tempted to commit fornication.
^^ That are my intentions so its compulsory.

My mums friend came to visit the day. She was telling me her son got married 2 years ago. Her sons wife put a £2,000 into the new house and the son took out a mortgage. The wife put divorce papers through, it went through court. The court said the husbands to give £30,000 back to the wife, as the price of the house went up. Meaning the £2,000 investment has gone up.

He has to take out a loan £30,000 just to pay his ex-wife.

See im the type or person who have big problems trusting anyone, how the tell can I trust some random girl ? its going to be very, hard for me :!
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Brother_Mujahid
07-21-2008, 12:01 PM
Originally Posted by qassy!

See im the type or person who have big problems trusting anyone, how the tell can I trust some random girl ? its going to be very, hard for me :!
theres many fish in the sea, quit worrying.

no one said you have to marry a complete random stranger.

Im guessing your still a young man who still has a year or two before even reaching the time to settle down and marry. So if i was you i'd just let whats written for you to pass untill your ready and the time is right.

wa'alykumasalam
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Re.TiReD
07-21-2008, 12:09 PM
Originally Posted by qassy!

See im the type or person who have big problems trusting anyone, how the tell can I trust some random girl ? its going to be very, hard for me :!
:salamext:

Marriage is all about give and take, its all about fulfilling a sunnah, its all about getting to know that person more after marriage since its the only halal way.

Look at it this way, you might decide to marry a childhood sweetheart only to find that she's a completely ghastly wife :skeleton: lol basically nobody knows what lies in store for them, best thing you can do try to find out a little about the dudette beforehand, enough to make you content with marrying her, Wallahu A'lam

:wasalamex
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------
07-21-2008, 12:10 PM
:salamext:

Praying Istikharah and Trust in Allaah is the main key to a good marriage...
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qassy!
07-21-2008, 12:15 PM
Originally Posted by Brother_Mujahid
theres many fish in the sea, quit worrying.

no one said you have to marry a complete random stranger.

Im guessing your still a young man who still has a year or two before even reaching the time to settle down and marry. So if i was you i'd just let whats written for you to pass untill your ready and the time is right.

wa'alykumasalam

obviously not to a complete stranger, somone I know. But still ill do somthing i regert if she trys anything that why better for me if i leave this marrage but but i got pleanty time to think about it. Im 18 if im going to get married will do early 20's


Originally Posted by JσℓιєFℓєυя
:salamext:

Look at it this way, you might decide to marry a childhood sweetheart only to find that she's a completely ghastly wife :skeleton: lol basically nobody knows what lies in store for them, best thing you can do try to find out a little about the dudette beforehand, enough to make you content with marrying her, Wallahu A'lam

:wasalamex
yeah but thats part of the game. She acts like she loves u etc etc then you cons £30k out of you. thats about $60,000
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IbnAbdulHakim
07-21-2008, 12:19 PM
Is it Necessary to Marry? The Legal Ruling on Marriage

In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful,

The Hanafi jurists (fuqaha) have explained in detail the ruling (hukm shar’i) with regards to marrying, and have categorized this ruling into many categories, in accordance with the situation of the individual intending to marry.

Imam al-Haskafi (Allah have mercy on him) states in his Durr al-Mukhtar:

“Marriage is necessary (wajib) when having an overwhelming level of sexual desire (tawqan). If one is certain of fornicating (zina) if remained unmarried, then it would be obligatory (fard) to marry. This is when one (m: the male) is capable of paying the dowry (mahr) and maintaining a wife, otherwise one will not be sinful for not marrying…And marrying in moderate circumstances is an emphasized Sunnah (al-Mu’akkadah) according to the preferred opinion, thus one would be sinful for not marrying, and rewarded for marrying with the intention of chastity and gaining children. The meaning of “under normal circumstances” is when one has the ability to have sexual intercourse, pay the dowry (mahr) and maintain a wife…And it will be disliked (makruh) for an individual to marry who fears being unjust to their spouse, and if one is certain of being unjust, it will be unlawful (haram) to marry.”

Allama Ibn Abidin (Allah have mercy on him) explains the above text of al-Haskafi in his super-commentary (hashiya) known as Radd al-Muhtar. He states:

“(al-Haskafi’s statement: “when having an overwhelming level of sexual desire”)…meaning in a way that one fears fornication by not marrying, because it is not necessary that by having a high level of desire one will fear fornication. And it seems that the ruling will be similar for a person who cannot prevent himself from looking at the unlawful or from masturbation, and thus, it will be necessary (wajib) to marry even if one did not fear actual fornication (zina).

(al-Haskafi’s statement: “If one is certain of fornicating (zina) if remained unmarried, then it would be obligatory”) meaning it is not possible for one to abstain from fornication except by marrying, for when one is not capable of staying away from the unlawful except through one means, that means becomes obligatory (fard)…

(al-Haskafi’s statement: “This is when one (the male) is capable of paying the dowry (mahr) and maintaining a wife”) this condition is connected to both situations, meaning Wajib and Fard. And in al-Bahr (m: name of a major Hanafi reference book known as Bahr al-Ra’iq by Ibn Nujaym) another condition has been added which is to not fear being unjust and oppressive to one’s spouse. It is stated that, if there is a clash between fearing fornication in the event of not marrying and being unjust in the event of marrying, then the former will be given preference, thus it will not be obligatory to marry, rather, it will be disliked (makruh)…because being unjust and oppressive is a sin connected to the rights of the servants of Allah, whilst the prohibition of fornication is from the rights of Allah Most High. And the right of the servant is given precedence over the right of Allah in the event of conflict between the two, for the servant is in need of his right, whilst Allah Most High is Sovereign….

(al-Haskafi’s statement: “marrying in normal circumstances is an emphasized Sunnah (al-Mu’akkadah) according to the preferred opinion”)… The proof for it being Sunnah in normal circumstances is following the example of the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace), and him strictly rebuking the one from his Ummah who intended to remain single for the purpose of worshipping Allah Most High, as mentioned in the two Sahih collections of Hadith (m: al-Bukhari & Muslim) when he (Allah bless him & give him peace) said: “Whosoever turns away from my way is not from me”.. Thus, marrying is more virtuous than engaging in teaching and studying, as mentioned in Durar al-Bihar, and we have stated previously that it is more virtuous than freeing yourself for voluntary worship….(and al-Haskafi’s statement: “It will be disliked”) meaning prohibitively disliked (makruh tahriman), as mentioned in al-Bahr.” (See: Radd al-Muhtar ala al-Durr al-Mukhtar, 3/6-7, Chapter on Marriage)

The same has been, more or less, been mentioned in other major Hanafi Fiqh works. See for example: Mawsili, al-Ikhtiyar li Ta’lil al-Mukhtar, 2/101, al-Fatawa al-Hindiyya, 1/267, Kasani, Bada’i al-Sana’i, 1/228 and others.

To summarize what the fuqaha have mentioned, we can divide the ruling on marrying into six categories:

1) Obligatory (fard). This is when an individual has an overwhelming level of sexual desire in a way that he/she is certain of committing fornication (zina), and there is nothing besides marriage to prevent him/her, provided one (the male) has the financial means to marry, and that one does not fear being unjust or oppressive to the spouse.

2) Necessary (wajib). This is when an individual has an overwhelming level of sexual desire in a way that one fears committing fornication, or one cannot prevent himself from looking at the unlawful or from masturbation, provided one has the financial means to marry, and that one does not fear being unjust or oppressive to the spouse.

3) Emphasized and confirmed Sunnah (sunnah al-Mu’akkadah). This is for an individual who is in a moderate state, in that the sexual desire is not overwhelming as in the above two categories, and one is capable of having sexual intercourse, paying the dowry (mahr) and maintaining a wife. Also, one does not fear being unjust to the spouse and being neglectful of other obligatory acts.

4) Prohibitively disliked (makruh tahriman). This is for an individual who fears being unjust or oppressive to the spouse, even if there is an overwhelming level of sexual desire, for the rights of servants are given precedence over the right of Allah.

5) Unlawful (haram). This is when one is certain of being unjust or oppressive to the spouse, even if there is an overwhelming level of sexual desire.

6) Permissible (mubah). Imam Ibn Abidin (Allah have mercy on him) adds this category quoting from Bahr al-Ra’iq. This is when one’s desire is not overwhelming; neither does one fear being unjust to the spouse. However, one marries solely to fulfil one’s needs and does not have an intention of implementing the Sunnah, for the reward of Sunnah will only be gained when one has the intention of following it or being chaste. If one marries with the intention of saving one’s self from sinning, it will be regarded as an act of Ibadah.


READ FULL ARTICLE HERE:

http://daruliftaa.com/question.asp?t...nID=q-20180272
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Re.TiReD
07-21-2008, 12:20 PM
Originally Posted by qassy!
yeah but thats part of the game. She acts like she loves u etc etc then you cons £30k out of you. thats about $60,000
:salamext:

Uh-uh...Not true. Not everybody is like that. So it happened to one Dude. What about all those successful marriages out there. The ones who get married for the sake of Allah and Fulfilling the Sunnah. Those who gain the pleasure of Allah (swt) by living in a way that is pleasing to Him ??

Dont lose hope over one mad case Akhee.

:wasalamex
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qassy!
07-21-2008, 12:22 PM
Originally Posted by JσℓιєFℓєυя
:salamext:

Dont lose hope over one mad case Akhee.

:wasalamex
salam

What I am trying to say is that I have a huge problem with trusting people. So marrage will be a massive problem for me
Reply

IbnAbdulHakim
07-21-2008, 12:22 PM
Originally Posted by qassy!
JazaaKAllah



See im the type or person who have big problems trusting anyone, how the tell can I trust some random girl ? its going to be very, hard for me :!

ahahaha


listen akh

when a girls good, everyone knows shes good. her mum knows it, her dad knows it, her neighbours know it, most people would know it. she'd stand out and you'd just know she a good girl !


search out that pious wife bro, and if she ends up sticking a divorce paper through your post and rinsing your cash then accept it as qadr and make dua' you take all her good deeds on the day of judgement :D
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qassy!
07-21-2008, 12:25 PM
Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
ahahaha

if she ends up sticking a divorce paper through your post and rinsing your cash then accept it as qadr and make dua' you take all her good deeds on the day of judgement :D
anyhow she trys it ill kill her.....im sorry but no 1 is conning money out of me. Never try hustling a hustler. Ill let her know it beforehand so she dont try it
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Re.TiReD
07-21-2008, 12:25 PM
Originally Posted by qassy!
salam

What I am trying to say is that I have a huge problem with trusting people. So marrage will be a massive problem for me
Wa'alaykum salam.

So do I. I have a huge problem trusting people and believing them when they say they'll always be there and that they'll never hurt you. But then I remember that I can never lose trust in Allah, I trust that whatever He does will be khayr for me in some way. And that if getting hurt is written for me then it'll make me stronger in some way.

I also believe that although we should be content with Qadr, its ok to feel a little worried etc etc....I dont know how to get over the trust issue, all I'll say is that maybe you need to strenghten your trust in Allah Akhee

WassalamuAlaykum
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qassy!
07-21-2008, 12:28 PM
^ I trust Allah without a doubt. But not everyone follows islam do they ?
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IbnAbdulHakim
07-21-2008, 12:28 PM
Originally Posted by qassy!
Ill let her know it beforehand so she dont try it
LOL YOU JOKA

what you gonna do? on the marriage night you gnna step to her n go "listen, you try rinsin my cash n i'll KILL YA !"

nah bro lol, dnt do it :|

like i said, you'd know when a girls good, coz you'll hear about her conduct, like how she is in college/at home/wiv her family/her past deeds. you'll hear it, so relax bro, the only way to get stuck wiv a bad one is to not research at all

and we all too smart for that right? :D
Reply

Re.TiReD
07-21-2008, 12:29 PM
Originally Posted by qassy!
^ I trust Allah without a doubt. But not everyone follows islam do they ?
No not everybody does, but insha'Allah you'll catch the fish that does :D
Reply

qassy!
07-21-2008, 12:30 PM
Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
LOL YOU JOKA

what you gonna do? on the marriage night you gnna step to her n go "listen, you try rinsin my cash n i'll KILL YA !"

nah bro lol, dnt do it :|

like i said, you'd know when a girls good, coz you'll hear about her conduct, like how she is in college/at home/wiv her family/her past deeds. you'll hear it, so relax bro, the only way to get stuck wiv a bad one is to not research at all

and we all too smart for that right? :D

yeah yeah yeah i understand you your right. But i still need to let her know......i love money 2 much i somtimes it more then more important things, ill prob value it more them my wife but

jazaaKAllah everyone for help.
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Re.TiReD
07-21-2008, 12:33 PM
Originally Posted by qassy!
yeah yeah yeah i understand you your right. But i still need to let her know......i love money 2 much i somtimes it more then more important things, ill prob value it more them my wife but

jazaaKAllah everyone for help.
^o)

Akhee....materialistic rubbish. Man is nothing but a number of seconds, and whenever a second passes, a part of him is gone. Dont waste it chasing after worldy stuff.

You need dough to get by in life, dont over-value its worth though...
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IbnAbdulHakim
07-21-2008, 12:38 PM
Originally Posted by qassy!
......i love money 2 much i somtimes it more then more important things, ill prob value it more them my wife but

jazaaKAllah everyone for help.
everyone loves money a bit (even if they dont admit it :p)

yeah but dont go crazy if you lose it (crazy as in stab a money robbing wife crazy :|)


btw.... your in college... do you have a lotta money? lol
Reply

qassy!
07-21-2008, 12:40 PM
Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
yeah but dont go crazy if you lose it (crazy as in stab a money robbing wife crazy :|)


btw.... your in college... do you have a lotta money? lol

all im saying if i loose my money i will be angry and i wouldnt do anything. If i get mugged for it i dont care. If somtimes hustes the money off me that will get me

so if wife trys it i dont know what ill do

in collegge have alot of money marshallah i do :)!
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qassy!
07-21-2008, 12:45 PM
Originally Posted by JσℓιєFℓєυя
time spent wisely = hasanaat....money maybe but....blah :D

WassalamuAlaykum!

Hasanaat?
Reply

------
07-21-2008, 12:45 PM
:salamext:

Hasaanat = Rewards

Please don't turn this thread into Idle Chat.

Jazaak Allaah Khayr.
Reply

Ali.
07-21-2008, 12:46 PM
Hasanaats are like good deeds, bro'.
Reply

Re.TiReD
07-21-2008, 12:48 PM
Originally Posted by qassy!
Hasanaat?
Goooodddd thingssss....you wanna be rewarded for pending your time wisely, not wasting it .... well actually you could be rewarded for providing for ya fam but dont let the dough make u do crazy things....Noo
Reply

chacha_jalebi
07-21-2008, 12:50 PM
salaam ma alaykum

i think its best to take people for face value, like dont indulge into too much, like when you meet someone, dont think omg his/eyes were so weirdy, they was thinkin somethin evill, erm maybe they cross eyed :D

also trust, that comes along with gettin to know the person, like we know Allah (Swt) and look how much we trust him, even our parents, so trust comes along with time. like many people might find someone attractive, but it dont mean that person is trustworthy innit, like all promises like bla bla il be there for you till the end, il break the moon and give it to you as a gift, lol they sound nice, but lets wake up and smell the coffee or dr pepper :D when your involved in a relationship before marriage, you know if its haraam there can only be 3 consequences, either you get found out by your rents lol and get deported back :D, you end up get married, or you end up callin it off, so dont base yourself on past experiences akhi, like look @ people at first, like "you hang up the phone 1st, no no darlin you hang it up, no no i want to hear your voice last" and then like 2 weeks later, "hey, erm im bit busy bye" :p so dont base yourself on others or past experiences, your a individual, everyday you meet and learn new, so ooo yeah

also money, let me give you this scenario, when you blow your nose, go toilet, clean crap from the floor, you use paper (tissues) that same paper is used for money, so treat money as it should be treated a piece of paper, nothin important:D
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qassy!
07-21-2008, 12:54 PM
Originally Posted by chacha_jalebi
when your involved in a relationship before marriage, you know if its haraam there can only be 3 consequences,

also money, let me give you this scenario, when you blow your nose, go toilet, clean crap from the floor, you use paper (tissues) that same paper is used for money, so treat money as it should be treated a piece of paper, nothin important:D
British cash is not made out of paper mate!!!

Do you watch Sharah TV ??

Anyway.....Imam Aajmal Masroor was on there.....he said going with the opposite sex in a public place without bad intentions is fine.but as soon as you ether a room only with you 2 online its haram......
Reply

chacha_jalebi
07-21-2008, 03:58 PM
Originally Posted by qassy!
British cash is not made out of paper mate!!!

Do you watch Sharah TV ??

Anyway.....Imam Aajmal Masroor was on there.....he said going with the opposite sex in a public place without bad intentions is fine.but as soon as you ether a room only with you 2 online its haram......
lol i dunno if its paper but you get my drift:D

imam ajmal is my local imam he calls me young man:embarrass, he is kool

and shariah tv.. that show annoys me, anyway if you dont have be together then you dont have to, like im sure if someone gav the scenario, can i "chill" with my friends who are females in public, can i do that? im sure anyone would advice againist it

actions are based upon intentions, also we shouldnt undermine shaytan he might sound like a annoyin troll lol, but he can easilyy mislead the strongest of us

diggidy:D
Reply

qassy!
07-21-2008, 06:02 PM
Originally Posted by chacha_jalebi
lol i dunno if its paper but you get my drift:D

imam ajmal is my local imam he calls me young man:embarrass, he is kool


Imam Ajmal Masoor? is the imam in your mosuqe???????? so lucky!!
Reply

...
07-21-2008, 06:15 PM
It is scary thinking about marriage, and what your wife might do lol and obviously you fear that she might not be the way you want her to. I also felt really scared as you don't know what to expect, until I came across this hadith that Allah promises to help a person in 3 situations, one of which is someone who looks to marry to help them in their religion. Subhanallaah! So if your intentions are pure then do istikhara, put your trust in Allah and have no worries inshaallaah:)

:w:
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------
07-23-2008, 12:28 PM
:salamext:

^ Can u post the hadith inshaAllaah?
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Argamemnon
11-10-2008, 11:23 PM
Originally Posted by ------
Marriage is not recommended for a man who does not possess the means to maintain a wife and future family, who has no sex drive, or who dislikes children.
I would say this kinda applies to me.
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