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Sahabiyaat
07-22-2008, 02:55 PM
:sl:


If ur relatives are a bit 'snobby' :rollseyes, and have huge egos, for example a very older relative will always expect you to greet them first and will NEVER greet u first, but will simply continue to either stare at you or simply look elsewhere, how should you deal with this?, also if u visit them often and they never bother to, should you stop visiting them??

How does it work in your culture?, do the younger ones greet the elders as a unbendable rule? .What does Islam say ?

:D JazakAllah!

:w:
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IbnAbdulHakim
07-22-2008, 02:58 PM
some of my uncles greet me first as a joke and then laugh when im too late lol


i always try greeting my nephews first


i guess your just unlucky lol, its all Qadr though


sis just coz they are snobby dont mean you should lose out on the reward of greeting them


assalamu alaikum
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Re.TiReD
07-22-2008, 02:58 PM
:salamext: My Fishter :D

Islam says treat people good regardless of how they are with you, do not say I shall behave in such and such a way and be nice only if similar treatment is given to you- Laa! Rather you treat them as you would like to be treated and if they dont give you the same respect and treatment then may Allah (swt) guide them. Ameen.

And about the greeting thing, just think of it this way, you get more reward for being the first to initiate Salaaam....Ooooh :shade: Masha'Allah, lol :D

:wasalamex
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Sahabiyaat
07-23-2008, 06:28 AM
:sl:


Its not as easy as saying treat me as u want and ill treat u fine.As a human it can only last a while before u snap back! lol. or else it depends on you rlevel of imaan, or how bad the situation is, even the best of ppl lose thir temper.

I want to know what rights they have over me, how strong those rights are etc, and examples of the Prophet.

JazakAllah :D

:w:
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north_malaysian
07-23-2008, 06:40 AM
there is no such thing in my culture...both elders and youngsters can greet first!
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Al-Zaara
07-23-2008, 08:08 AM
Selam aleykum,

It's sad to hear people are so snobbish and have huge egos that it makes people dislike them. It's a bad characteristic.

But very old people... You can't really be too angry at them, I mean, their lives are near its end and one kind of rather wants to make dua for them. If the old relatives never visit you, try as much as you can to invite them over, but don't let the old by themselves. They like company most of the time, although sometimes they deny it.

As far as I know, the younger should greet the elder first. But always remember, the one who takes initiative first is always in a better position, inshaAllah. And returning a greeting is obligatory upon Muslims.

Imam Bukhari and Muslim reported that the Prophet Mohammad (S.A.W.) said, "A rider should greet a pedestrian, a pedestrian should greet one who is sitting, and a small party should greet a large party, a younger should greet an elder one."


Hadith - Sahih Bukhari 8.251, Narrated Abu Hurayrah
Allah's Apostle said, "The riding one should greet the walking one, and the walking one should greet the sitting one, and the small number of persons should greet the large number of persons."

Hadith - Malik's Muwatta Book 53, Number 53.1.1
Yahya related to me from Malik from Zayd ibn Aslam that the Messenger of Allah, said, "The one riding greets the one walking, and when one of a group of people gives a greeting, it is enough for all of them."


The person coming or going, should first offer the salutation (salaams):

Hadith - Abu Dawood 5189, Narrated Abu Hurayrah
The Prophet said: When one of you comes to an assembly, he should give a salutation and if he feels inclined to get up, he should give a salutation, for the former is not more of a duty than the latter.


The pious muslims is anxious to give salaams first

Hadith - Abu Dawood 5178, Narrated Abu Umamah
The Prophet said: Those who are nearest to Allah are they who are first to give a salutation.

source
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Sahabiyaat
07-23-2008, 08:42 PM
JazakAllah sis, thats what i wanted to know :smile:
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S_87
07-23-2008, 08:55 PM
snobby relatives, huh who can be bothered with them <_<
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Sahabiyaat
07-24-2008, 05:07 PM
are u being sarcastic with me amani :rollseyes lol.

i just needed to know who should greet first, .....*guess i was in the wrong :-[*
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arabianprincess
07-24-2008, 05:27 PM
salam wa 3lykom

well some of my family members greet me first or vise versa but all i can say to u is to be the bigger better person. :) n it wont hurt u. so probably when they do see u do that. it might hit them that we r all equal. :D n continue to visit them cuz they r ur blood. as i said it might hit them one day . u never KNOW
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S_87
07-24-2008, 08:46 PM
Originally Posted by Sahabiyaat
are u being sarcastic with me amani :rollseyes lol.

i just needed to know who should greet first, .....*guess i was in the wrong :-[*
no :p im being serious. Who can be bothered with snobs who think they are better than everyone else gaah
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Eeman
07-24-2008, 09:20 PM
Originally Posted by Sahabiyaat
:sl:


If ur relatives are a bit 'snobby' :rollseyes, and have huge egos, for example a very older relative will always expect you to greet them first and will NEVER greet u first, but will simply continue to either stare at you or simply look elsewhere, how should you deal with this?, also if u visit them often and they never bother to, should you stop visiting them??

How does it work in your culture?, do the younger ones greet the elders as a unbendable rule? .What does Islam say ?

:D JazakAllah!

:w:
salam aliakum,

dear sister just cos they ae snobby and rude and think that they are superior to others then by you doin the same makes no difference between you and them does it?
never forget that Allah swt is forever watchful of EVERYTHING, you should be greeting them for the sake of Allah, and your reward for it will be with Allah, the fact that they out of ego and pride hold back to greeting you, their punisment will be wth Allah swt.

so for you to think oh how i always greet first is not right they should greet me 1st you are doing the same as them, it shouldnt really matter to you whether they greet 1st or you greet 1st greeting is a command from Allah swt hence why He has specifically mentioned it in the Quran.

reards visiting them, you should as with everything count your visits as a good deed only for pleasing Allah swt and as with anything your rewards will be ith Allah swt, so it hould not bother you whether they visit you in return or not. your doig your bit as a good muslim and striving hard to please Allah swt which is the reason for our existance, now if theyfail to do the same to please our Almighty Lord then they are doing nothing but earning His wrath.

and the last thing you want to be doing is the same as them just cos your holding a grudge cos they dont greet you first or visit you in return, in fact i personally believe that your rewards wil be more multiplied by Allah swt co being good to kind muslims is easy and comes naturally but being kind to the unkind is slightly harder to do, and when something is harder the reward for it Insha'Allah will be bigger.

i pray that Allah swt opens the eyes and hearts of your snobby relatives to the truth and guides them Insha'Allah ego, pride ad arrogance are characteristicsof the shaytaan and are much disliked by our Almighty Lord.

ma salama
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Sahabiyaat
07-25-2008, 03:21 PM
JazakAllah for that :)

hehe its kinda funny how everyones referring to them as 'snobby' :D, ive implementd your advice and seen them smile at my enthusiasm to greet them, aww bless. :D
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