Am i the choosen one for bad..?

[danialahad]

:cry::cry:

Dear brothers and sisters,

This is my first post to the forum. And i am just near to Sucide. Every day someone or myself whisper in my heart in my ear, that i am finshed, i should be killed or go for sucide. There is nothing left for me in this world, and there is nothing good i can do .

Though i am 28 but I have seen too much hardships and misiries in my life. Due to some bad events in my life, I am compelled to think that Every thing which is going to happen with me next, will surely be negetive and bad. My desicion power is zero or even below then this. I have no confidense at all.

I have too many responsibilities in my life to wards my familay, becuase i am the elder one after my father's death 6 year back. But now i feel i have lost the battel of life.

Some time i feel i should not think like that , but the next moment the concequences of my own deed or due to my bad fate, something negeitve result come in front of me , and agin i went back to the same road which is pushing me towards dead end.

I dont know what should i do. y I am posting on this things on forum , i dont know. .....

Just want to get rid of these things and want to live for my family and a normal life..

Can a physicatrist or anything else can help me in this situation, or i am just choosen for bad...?

[IbnAbdulHakim]

no bro !

your not "chosen" for bad !


your just going through tough times thats all :).

i recently visited an auntie who looks like the whole world is crushing her... because shes so under stress. Bro trials will come and go


bro plz plz plz dont EVER contemplate suicide :| what comes after that wont be a release, it will be pure torment ! so lets decide right now to never suicide, OK moving on :D


bro you know theres ALWAYS a point where things get better, ALWAYS ! Life has hardships but after every hardship comes ease.

And also everything is from Allaah bro, every pain and suffering is from Allaah. If Allah loves his servants and wants to place them in high positions in jannah he will make the suffer in this earth so as to build a case for them, so that in jannah he can rightly give them well deserved positions :)


and i hope Allah places you at the top positions of jannah, Ameen :D

[Tania]

When other people life (the family) depend on you, i am afraid you can't just walk away (the suicide thought). Why don't you split from your responsabilities with other family members :?

[Eeman]

:cry::cry:

Dear brothers and sisters,

This is my first post to the forum. And i am just near to Sucide. Every day someone or myself whisper in my heart in my ear, that i am finshed, i should be killed or go for sucide. There is nothing left for me in this world, and there is nothing good i can do .

Though i am 28 but I have seen too much hardships and misiries in my life. Due to some bad events in my life, I am compelled to think that Every thing which is going to happen with me next, will surely be negetive and bad. My desicion power is zero or even below then this. I have no confidense at all.

I have too many responsibilities in my life to wards my familay, becuase i am the elder one after my father's death 6 year back. But now i feel i have lost the battel of life.

Some time i feel i should not think like that , but the next moment the concequences of my own deed or due to my bad fate, something negeitve result come in front of me , and agin i went back to the same road which is pushing me towards dead end.

I dont know what should i do. y I am posting on this things on forum , i dont know. .....

Just want to get rid of these things and want to live for my family and a normal life..

Can a physicatrist or anything else can help me in this situation, or i am just choosen for bad...?

salam alaikum brother,

its really sad and heart breaking to hear what you are going through cos a few years back i myself went through the same thing and you know the funniest thing i myself felt the same way and thought the same way.

now the first thing you need to acknoweldge is that you are not destined for bad no one is, why is Allah swt the most mercifuland oft pardoning???
is He really going to destine His own slaves for bad.

brother when i was going through that stage in my life the early stages i was in denial and used to sit there pity myself and listen to the whispers of shaytaan and get more and more in despair, i used to sit and think but hold on why is this all happening to me?????????? why is God allowing to do this i know im a good person i have never harmed a soul so why me?????????

what you need to do is take a bit of time out and do some self reflection, why is this all happening to you?
after i did my self reflection i realised that ok i was a ok person and yes i never harmed a soul in my life but on the other hand i was a ungrateful slave of Allah swt and the one person that i did do bad and wronged was myself and my own soul.

I came across this ayah from the Quran 42:30
that sent jolts down my spine ad made me realise it felt as though Allah swt was directly talking to me.

And whatever of misfortune befalls you, it is because of what your hands have earned. And He pardons much.

maybe this is not the case wth you, maybe you a believing brother with firm imaan nd a parctising one which i at that time was far from, so that knock down in my life was for a reason it was a way of Allah swt giving me my wake up call to fully turn to Him in submission.

the reason why i am giving you an example of my own experience is to let you know that there are other people that are out there in this world that go through same things you are not alone brother, i was myself was suicidal but Alhumdullilah through the mercy of Allah swt here i am today.

now many years down the line and here i am, i fully submitted to God and changed my whole life around i changed everything.
but still my hardships are with me the same hardships that i had then, 3 years down the line and nothings changed you want to know the truth, in fact things have got worse but Alhumdullilah i cannot complain, cos everytime i think that my relief is going to come things get harder but somehow out of somewhere i get this strength within me that i could never have imagined that i had before and i can bare this new worse hardship too.

now you would think or anyone would argue that when you fully submit to Him and do everything His way then why now why doesnt He lift the pain and hardship and give you your relief its cos now i know that this is my test!
whereas before i was being stricken with misfortune due to each evil sin that i had committed but now i am being tested and that in itself to me is a blessing.

after leading the life i used to before, i wouldnt even consider anyones repentance and give them the time of the day let alone the opportunity to test them if i was god Astaghfirullah... but that is the beauty and mercy of our Al Wadud.

if with you its not the former case then it is the later case and brother remember it will not always be this way this too shall Insha'Allah pass, now how it passes is up to you and in your hands, you either sit there and carry on listening to the evil whispers of shaytaan or you get up and for your own salvation turn to the only and only being that can help you cos no one else can.

Allah swt tells us 94: 5-6

So verily, with the hardship, there is relief,

Verily, with the hardship, there is relief (i.e. there is one hardship with two reliefs, so one hardship cannot overcome two reliefs).

there is not one but TWO reliefs how beautiful is that????
Allah swt is promising us that this hardship will be worth it in the end, cos He will make it up to us with 2 reliefs not just one relief equivalent to the hardship but something much better than that, And He's words are the TRUTH and only His promises each and every one of them will be fulfilled.

so Masha'Allah by you just coming here and posting this thread in itself is a mercy from Allah swt cos it shows that no matter how much in despair you are and how much you think that you have lost the battle that tiny hope inside your heart is still fighting.

so brother let it fight and become stronger and stronger, turn to Allah and fully submit and ask Him for strength ask Him for help and salvation and i promise you Insha'Allah you will get it all.

i pray that Allah swt turns you to Him fully and disposers all your affairs for you cos only He is the best disposer of all affairs, that He gives you peace, and storn imaan, that He gives you strength and the will and power to fight and defeat the jihad within you with the evil rejected shaytaan and that He makes you one of His righteous slaves and gives you Jannah as a reward to abide therein forever. I pray the same for every brother and sister of our ummah, may Allah swt the most merciful have mercy on all of us.

ma salama

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[Aurora]

Don't commit suicide. To run away from the world because things aren't going well just seems like a selfish thing to do. Think of how you family and friends would feel, it would completely destroy them inside.

You should most definitely see a psychiatrist.

[fatima_01]

may allah give u strenght to carry on (f)
salaam

[Eeman]

brother from my opinion do not waste your time going to a shrink cos as far as i am concerned Masha'Allah you are not pyschologically ill or anything, take heed to your wake up call no shrink in this world can help you unless Allah swt wills to help you, He is the only one you need to turn to and put all your trust in He is the only one you need to call upon for help but with sincere and firm believe that He will answer you and Insha'Allah He will.

and most importantly brother always remember asAllah swt says surah 47

7. O you who believe! If you help (in the cause of) Allâh, He will help you, and make your foothold firm.

so you need to do your bit as a muslim and then He will bestow endless blessings and ounties upon you Insha'Allah.

[Aurora]

If you live in the UK you should see a GP first and get their opinion. If you are suffering from depression they might give you medication, which should help you cope.

[Mahir]

Dear bro.. Salaam

First, Allah tests the one he loves.. he doesnt test those who already are astray, do not be in love with the dunja

second, Have hope in Allah and everything will get better

third, Make dua, Allah loves to delay the respons, he loves to make you wait, because he knows that you will ask more and more and more and more.. and Allah loves when a slave ALLWAYS nag him, he loves you so much that he waits with the respond, and he knows that while making dua you are rising in level in paradise, so he can have you closer to him in the afterlife, so DO NEVER loose hope

4: Something bad can be good for you as Allah(Swt) said, for example as i said above, maybe Allah wants to make you closer to him by you making more and more du3a's

5: make new friends, go to the mosque and make your self more spiritual

6: Watch Dr zakir naik & Ahmed deedat videos on youtube.com

7: Ignore shaytans whisperings, because its not you thinking, its shaytan, even if its you, Allah will forgive if you ask for forgivness, just keep going on!

8: Suicide = Hellfire

9 Listen to my advice!

Massalam

[danialahad]

Dear Bro and Sisters,

I am thankful to all who replied. But the stress is getting increased day by day. I belongs to Pakistan a, typical lower class family with too many finincial and social responsibilties on my shoulders.

I M NOT A GOOD PERSON, INFACT I AM BAD PERSON, A SINFUL PERSON, INTENTIONALY AND UN-INTENTIONALLY I HAVE COMMITED TOO MUCH SINS. I FEEL IT IS ALL DUE TO THESE. AND IT WILL CONTINUE ... UNTILL MY DEATH.

Now a days ,... my condition is clear to my family, my mom... whenever she do some sampathy to me... i feel i am not able for her effection and love.. so i become harsh to her and ask her to leave me... when every my sis do some work for me .. i feel ,, i am not worthy of that... my younger bro.. he is struggling too .. seeing towards me to help him for his future betterment interms of guidance... but i am affraid even to give him advise .. because .. i feel whatever i will do .. will cause bad to my family memebers..

ALL THE TIME I FEEL... THINGS ARE JUST FINISHED FOR ME... I AM NOT OK MADICALLY AS WELL... I NEVER SMOKED.. BUT I STARTED SOMKING AS WELL.. WHICH IS CAUSING REAL HEALTH PROB TO ME.. BUT I JUSTIFIED ANY THING BAD HAPENNING TO ME BY SAYING THAT I DESERVE THIS.. I DESeRVE ALL THE BADS HAPPENNING TO ME.. BECAUSE I AM A BAD PERSON. .... IN LAST 5-6 YEARS ... I HAVE LEFT MY PRAYERS FIRST TIME...

I am unbale to do my duties efficiently in my office... which I know is very dengourus for me and my familly. But I feel my heart has become stone now.. and waiting for a big blast........ One thing in my mind is .. that i am a mantel petient now ... mantelly becoming sick and sick... Any news of happienss seems to me a douge or Freb.

Even when i am writing this... i feel my end is realy near.

One thing i can ask from you people.. Please Pray for me... May Allah forgive my sins.. and show me the right path..Amin..

[IbnAbdulHakim]

subhanAllah akhee do not despair!


Allaah says if my servant coems to me with a mountain of sins i come to him with a mountain of forgiveness.

Once a sahabi approached the prophet sallallahi alaihi wasallaam saying "o prophet of Allaah you have said entering islaam wipes out all before it, but i have too many sins"

the prophet sallallahi alaihi wasallaam told him, "it wipes out EVERYTHING before it"
the sahabi kept on telling him how bad he is and that he doubts its forgivable

but each time the prophet sallallahi alaihi wasallaam would repeat, "it wipes everything before it!!"

subhanAllaah, BHAI!!! DO NOT DESPAIR! WHATEVER HAPPENS!

ALLAH IS MOST merciful for a reason!!! becoz he forgives ALL TRANSGRESSIONS!




bhai turn to Allah and pour out those tears to him!! inshaAllaah things will be alright :)

[Sahabiyaat]

:sl:

NO, u r not the chosen one for bad!!

Never let shaytaan make you feel like that!

ill tell you what your doing wrong; help yourself and Allah will help you.

1) You are despairing.

DO NOT despair, im not asking you to smile and laugh, but just dont feel despair, never despair of Allahs mercy.the moment you do, shaytaan will feed on your despair and increase it, and increase it until, you do something terrible, like end your life, Astagfarullah.

2) DO NOT remember your sins

Shaytaan presents your sins before you over and over in the hope that you will feel that you are such a bad person, and you will feel that everybody despises you. He will always throw your sins up in your face and you will feel horrible.remember this is his trick and he is very happy to see you agonise over your past and completely forget Allah and his mercy.

Allahs mercy is abundant, but your being tricked by Shaytaan because your only looking one way, at your sins, and ignoring Allahs mercy which may be right before you,...and now where to find that mercy....

3) DO NOT neglect your family

Shaytaas tricked you again! hes turning your head with his hands and keeps saying 'look at your sins, your so bad', and thereby hes taking your attention away from the ppl that need you the most! your beloved mother and your younger brother! How can you let them down, focus on them, help them and Allah will have mercy on you and erase your sins.

And there you go!! your sins are erased! your human, whatever you did, you cannot turn time around, but atleast dont ruin the time ahead of you!

My dear brother, i was reallly sad to read your post :cry:, i felt your despair (and thats why my anwser is so long!). Remember, we are all with you, and well ALL make Dua for you. :)

You are a really good person, you just need to show it more :) ok?

:w:

[Eeman]

Dear Bro and Sisters,

I am thankful to all who replied. But the stress is getting increased day by day. I belongs to Pakistan a, typical lower class family with too many finincial and social responsibilties on my shoulders.

I M NOT A GOOD PERSON, INFACT I AM BAD PERSON, A SINFUL PERSON, INTENTIONALY AND UN-INTENTIONALLY I HAVE COMMITED TOO MUCH SINS. I FEEL IT IS ALL DUE TO THESE. AND IT WILL CONTINUE ... UNTILL MY DEATH.

Now a days ,... my condition is clear to my family, my mom... whenever she do some sampathy to me... i feel i am not able for her effection and love.. so i become harsh to her and ask her to leave me... when every my sis do some work for me .. i feel ,, i am not worthy of that... my younger bro.. he is struggling too .. seeing towards me to help him for his future betterment interms of guidance... but i am affraid even to give him advise .. because .. i feel whatever i will do .. will cause bad to my family memebers..

ALL THE TIME I FEEL... THINGS ARE JUST FINISHED FOR ME... I AM NOT OK MADICALLY AS WELL... I NEVER SMOKED.. BUT I STARTED SOMKING AS WELL.. WHICH IS CAUSING REAL HEALTH PROB TO ME.. BUT I JUSTIFIED ANY THING BAD HAPENNING TO ME BY SAYING THAT I DESERVE THIS.. I DESeRVE ALL THE BADS HAPPENNING TO ME.. BECAUSE I AM A BAD PERSON. .... IN LAST 5-6 YEARS ... I HAVE LEFT MY PRAYERS FIRST TIME...

I am unbale to do my duties efficiently in my office... which I know is very dengourus for me and my familly. But I feel my heart has become stone now.. and waiting for a big blast........ One thing in my mind is .. that i am a mantel petient now ... mantelly becoming sick and sick... Any news of happienss seems to me a douge or Freb.

Even when i am writing this... i feel my end is realy near.

One thing i can ask from you people.. Please Pray for me... May Allah forgive my sins.. and show me the right path..Amin..

salam alaikum bro,

firstly remember one thing coming to this realisation is a hope in itself and there is a very good reason why you have come to this cos many people still carry on in denial!

it can only continue to your death God forbid if you let it and not take any notice of Allah swt's wake up call!!!

take heed bro and make the effort to take that first step, no soul can have committed too many sins and repent for their sins not to be forgiven that is the eternal beauty of the Lord of the worlds and all that exists, the Raheem!

get back into your salah and dont neglect it, read the Quran and heal yourself through it, make dua and ask Allah swt for help cos only He can help you.

then implement islam and its teachings in your life!
being good to your parents is a important aspect of following the straight path so never forget that, especially your mother strve hard and go out of your way to be kind and loving to your family, you cant keep on letting the whispers of the accursed shaytaan win your over, you need to fight him with everything that you have and ask Allah swt for the strength and the will and ability and poe to do so and succeed in defeating him.

bro take some time out to self reflect upon yourself and soul and leave your affairs with Allah swt cos only He is the disposer of all our affairs and the best disposer at that.

I pray that Isha;'Allah Allah swt makes all your hardships easy for you and brings you ways out of them, purifies your heart with the noor of imaan and guides you fully to His path with full submission from you, helps you and makes you succeed in defeating the rejected shaytaan and gives you jannatul firduas.

but always remember one thing we can all make duas for you but your own duas are the most powerful ones, so make loads of dua cos dua is the weapon of the believer so use it to the best of your advantage.
ma salama.

[Eeman]

:sl:

NO, u r not the chosen one for bad!!

Never let shaytaan make you feel like that!

ill tell you what your doing wrong; help yourself and Allah will help you.

1) You are despairing.

DO NOT despair, im not asking you to smile and laugh, but just dont feel despair, never despair of Allahs mercy.the moment you do, shaytaan will feed on your despair and increase it, and increase it until, you do something terrible, like end your life, Astagfarullah.

2) DO NOT remember your sins

Shaytaan presents your sins before you over and over in the hope that you will feel that you are such a bad person, and you will feel that everybody despises you. He will always throw your sins up in your face and you will feel horrible.remember this is his trick and he is very happy to see you agonise over your past and completely forget Allah and his mercy.

Allahs mercy is abundant, but your being tricked by Shaytaan because your only looking one way, at your sins, and ignoring Allahs mercy which may be right before you,...and now where to find that mercy....

3) DO NOT neglect your family

Shaytaas tricked you again! hes turning your head with his hands and keeps saying 'look at your sins, your so bad', and thereby hes taking your attention away from the ppl that need you the most! your beloved mother and your younger brother! How can you let them down, focus on them, help them and Allah will have mercy on you and erase your sins.

And there you go!! your sins are erased! your human, whatever you did, you cannot turn time around, but atleast dont ruin the time ahead of you!

My dear brother, i was reallly sad to read your post :cry:, i felt your despair (and thats why my anwser is so long!). Remember, we are all with you, and well ALL make Dua for you. :)

You are a really good person, you just need to show it more :) ok?

:w:

Salams sis

Masha'Allah great advice wanted to give you reps but it doesnt allow me to do so for some reason.:skeleton:

[arabianprincess]

salam wa 3lykom...

look its just god .. is testing you ... n inshallah u ll pass .. but u know this is the shytan who is tryin to make u go to hell by sucide... so DOnt listen to HIM. n i know these ppl who they lost there business had to leave there country n then 2 years later they lost there son. n the dad ended up in jail for somethin he didnt do.. bt look at him hes patient n know god is testing him... even all these things happen to him he just believe in allah n his faith .

[Muslim Knight]

dear brother danialahad,

Though we may not know you, we are more than happy to admit that you are one of our Muslim brothers. There are strangers here who care enough about you to give your support & advice, and we will not hesitate to make du'a prayers for your well being.

There are others who have suffered worse than you. If you commit suicide, believe me it will not end all your problems, it will mark only the beginning for more suffering. Shaytan wishes for your despair so that he can drag you to more suffering and ultimately hell, but Allah has plans for you by directing you to us so that we can counsel you as a fellow Muslim. Stay strong, brother, and remember Allah, for in remembrance of Him will you find peace.

Stay strong, brother. May Allah give you peace & strength. Ameen!

[coddles76]

Asalam Alykum,

May Allah SWT give you the strength to keep going and with all your hardships remember there is always ease to follow. Allah SWT will never let your hard work go to waste and with every good that you do there will be a reward beyong what you could imagine. Keep your faith clean, continue to do good and be confident that ALLAH SWT will never let your hard work go unrewarded.
Brother Suicide is not the answer and in fact will only put you in a larger prediciment because if you take your life early ALLAH SWT will forbid Paradise for you and that will be the ultimate failure. Keep fighting and keep striving and InshAllah ALLAH SWT will follow up your hardship with ease.

Quran 2:155
Be sure We shall test you with something of fear and hunger, some loss in goods or lives or the fruits (of your toil), but give glad tidings to those who patiently persevere.

Quran 65:7
Allah puts no burden on any person beyond what He has given him. After a difficulty, Allah will soon grant relief.

[cute123]

whatsoever has happened with you akhee, its simply fine or whatsoever u think that u have done bad that is also fine. its just not u alone there are many people like that , even us - the fact that u realize that u have done its wrong is more than enough. allah tallah hates those people who suicide. we have only 1 thing as our love that the shaitaan cannot take away from us. it lasts still eternity. no matter if u loose all literally everything , everything goes wrong , u r ditched by everybody - but The love of Allah Tallah and His Messenger (Sallalaho alaihi wasslam) towards each individual momin never ever ends. do u want to barter that for a list of some problems. something that is like soap bubbles which might come and go would u barter it for something that is so precious and so eternal and nothing can be compared to it. Allah Tallah loves u no matter what. isnt it our duty to be as what he says us to be . And He hates suicide. Our Prophet (Sallalaho alaihi wasslam) it hurts HIM each and every pain that we go through do you wish to hurt Him (Sallalaho alaihi wasslam) more by suiciding and when we insha allah we would meet HIM (Sallalaho alaihi wasslam). think How will u meet HIM (Sallalaho alaihi wasslam). dont close the doors urself which Allah Tallah has kept it open. and as far as sins our conerned who r u to decide that u should die. u werent born by your wish.
ur life belongs to HIM. and what so ever sins u did u have disobeyed Allah Tallah not urself. and who are u too snatch the right of forgiving u from Allah Tallah. astagfirullah r u greater than Allah Tallah. wash your face - do wudhu and cry your heart to your Lord . He will surely answer it.

plz reply as we all are tensed up.

[Sahabiyaat]

Salams sis

Masha'Allah great advice wanted to give you reps but it doesnt allow me to do so for some reason.:skeleton:

:ooh: whattt, no wayyy!

i want my reps nowww!!!! maybe uve given too many today, so it doesnt let you give anymore, try agen tomorrow :D ok, ill kepp bugging u dnt wrry lol.

[Ansariyah]

You should really read the stories of the Prophets anbiya, Sahabas etc.

Read the story of Prophet ayoub `as´. If you think you are in Hardship, what would you like to call what he went through?

May Allah swt grant u relief from ur difficulties n grant u strength ameen.

[danialahad]

whatsoever has happened with you akhee, its simply fine or whatsoever u think that u have done bad that is also fine. its just not u alone there are many people like that , even us - the fact that u realize that u have done its wrong is more than enough. allah tallah hates those people who suicide. we have only 1 thing as our love that the shaitaan cannot take away from us. it lasts still eternity. no matter if u loose all literally everything , everything goes wrong , u r ditched by everybody - but The love of Allah Tallah and His Messenger (Sallalaho alaihi wasslam) towards each individual momin never ever ends. do u want to barter that for a list of some problems. something that is like soap bubbles which might come and go would u barter it for something that is so precious and so eternal and nothing can be compared to it. Allah Tallah loves u no matter what. isnt it our duty to be as what he says us to be . And He hates suicide. Our Prophet (Sallalaho alaihi wasslam) it hurts HIM each and every pain that we go through do you wish to hurt Him (Sallalaho alaihi wasslam) more by suiciding and when we insha allah we would meet HIM (Sallalaho alaihi wasslam). think How will u meet HIM (Sallalaho alaihi wasslam). dont close the doors urself which Allah Tallah has kept it open. and as far as sins our conerned who r u to decide that u should die. u werent born by your wish.
ur life belongs to HIM. and what so ever sins u did u have disobeyed Allah Tallah not urself. and who are u too snatch the right of forgiving u from Allah Tallah. astagfirullah r u greater than Allah Tallah. wash your face - do wudhu and cry your heart to your Lord . He will surely answer it.

plz reply as we all are tensed up.

Thanks to you all,

I always pray to Allah that help me show me the right path, but whatever i do ends with no good and concequences compelled me to think that Allah is giving me punishment, becuase of my sins i feel i am not good so it cannot be test becuase tests are for good people. In my case i feel it is punishment of my worng deeds. This feeling didnt develope in one or two days but eventually slowley with the passage of my life. And this feeling that ALLAH is not happy with me , infact Maybe(i wish and prya it will not be so) Allah is angry with me so giving me punishment, is enough to make me mantely ill.

But I feel better when someone show anger on me, show his/her confidence on me by saying you are doing this wrong and donot do this, go this way you will be ok. May be there is no one to guide me to correct my path, to understand my feelings, I am alone to take me descions good or bad, thats why i came to this forum.

I am the one chosen for bad.... dosen't mean that i am evntully going for sucide. Though with every day passing this thiniking has made a palce in my mind yet I feel so becuase, bad things happning through me, sins are comming through me, Virtue or Nakee, is going far from me. Thats why i feel ... may be I am the bad person and chossen for sins, bad.


Some time i feel i am mantel petient now. I should go to phsicalogist. But the next moment i feel dejected by thiniking that every thing is from ALLAH and this is to be happen due to my own deeds.

But after comming to this forum and reading the posts of all of you, now finally i feel that i should try to correct me once again by leaving all the things to ALLAH, by asking for forgivness again,.... but i dont know weather i will be able to stay on thi:cry:s or not.Please do pray for me.

Regards
Danial.

[Eeman]

Thanks to you all,

I always pray to Allah that help me show me the right path, but whatever i do ends with no good and concequences compelled me to think that Allah is giving me punishment, becuase of my sins i feel i am not good so it cannot be test becuase tests are for good people. In my case i feel it is punishment of my worng deeds. This feeling didnt develope in one or two days but eventually slowley with the passage of my life. And this feeling that ALLAH is not happy with me , infact Maybe(i wish and prya it will not be so) Allah is angry with me so giving me punishment, is enough to make me mantely ill.

But I feel better when someone show anger on me, show his/her confidence on me by saying you are doing this wrong and donot do this, go this way you will be ok. May be there is no one to guide me to correct my path, to understand my feelings, I am alone to take me descions good or bad, thats why i came to this forum.

I am the one chosen for bad.... dosen't mean that i am evntully going for sucide. Though with every day passing this thiniking has made a palce in my mind yet I feel so becuase, bad things happning through me, sins are comming through me, Virtue or Nakee, is going far from me. Thats why i feel ... may be I am the bad person and chossen for sins, bad.


Some time i feel i am mantel petient now. I should go to phsicalogist. But the next moment i feel dejected by thiniking that every thing is from ALLAH and this is to be happen due to my own deeds.

But after comming to this forum and reading the posts of all of you, now finally i feel that i should try to correct me once again by leaving all the things to ALLAH, by asking for forgivness again,.... but i dont know weather i will be able to stay on thi:cry:s or not.Please do pray for me.

Regards
Danial.

saam alaikum bro, Masha'Allah this realisation in tself bro i a blesing, its neer too late bro Alhmdullilah you are still in this world stilllivin ad breathing, but for how log Allahu alam, so sieze this opportunity, dont be negative and insult the Most merciful, as i said yu could have never committed too many sins in the past for your repentance not to be acceted. Allah swt is the Most Merciful!!

bro just making dua and sitting there without acting upon your intentions will leave your intentions fruitless, so you need to do your bit too bro, and remember bro that repentance will only be forgiven and accepted by Allah swt when it is true and sincere repentance, so those sins and unlawful acts need to STOP!!!!

I pray that Allah swt guides you to the true straight path and makes that path easy for you Insha'Allah.

ma salama

[Sharif]

Danial,

May I ask a slightly different question? Just bear with me. Answer this to yourself:

What am I most thankful for in my life right now?


What? Hmm... What else?

If your answer is "nothing," then, ask again:

If I COULD be thankful for some things in my life, what WOULD I be thankful for?

Come up with at least 5 things.

==

Is there anyone in your area whom you look up to, respect, and listen to? Choose the VERY BEST person in your area who is also a practicing Muslim.

Go and ask him for advice. Ask his advice on different things that interest you. (opportunities in your area/challenges/questions etc.) See if you can become his friend. Just pick his brain as much as you can (make sure he doesn't see it as disturbing/bothering him).

Get other people whom you look up to (preferably those who are practicing) and ask them for help. You'd surprised that many times all it takes is just asking.

We'd love to know about how you're doing.

[The_Prince]

start getting into Islamic activities, give dawah, hold dialogs, write articles, publish material, set things up.

[Rafeeq]

May Allah give you courage. Try to stick with SALAH and handle situation with SABR as directed in the Holy Quraan

[danialahad]

Danial,

May I ask a slightly different question? Just bear with me. Answer this to yourself:

What am I most thankful for in my life right now?


What? Hmm... What else?

If your answer is "nothing," then, ask again:

If I COULD be thankful for some things in my life, what WOULD I be thankful for?

Come up with at least 5 things.

==

Is there anyone in your area whom you look up to, respect, and listen to? Choose the VERY BEST person in your area who is also a practicing Muslim.

Go and ask him for advice. Ask his advice on different things that interest you. (opportunities in your area/challenges/questions etc.) See if you can become his friend. Just pick his brain as much as you can (make sure he doesn't see it as disturbing/bothering him).

Get other people whom you look up to (preferably those who are practicing) and ask them for help. You'd surprised that many times all it takes is just asking.

We'd love to know about how you're doing.

This is my real problem. I am kind of introwood type person and dont have people like you mentioned. No such friends whome i can share my heart. No elder to whome i can ask for advise , otherwise maybe i would never come to this forum. I feel very lonely some time i think too much about my (late) father.
I do have ideals, but they are ideals and to approach them is not possible.
I like dr.Israr and some other religious personalities. I want to be like them. Actualy i had wished and prayed to ALLAH if i would ever be able to become stable financilly, i will definatly like to do dawah, and will devote my life for islam. I know this is a kind of selfish feeling. But they way life is going its just not allowing me to come out of my problems,
I feel i am going towards the darkness of dissapointment more and more.

You asked What am I most thankful for in my life right now?
My MOther,
But you know i have become kind of syco now. Whenever she tries to show love and sampthy for me... i feel i am not worthy for her love so i show anger and uncareness, I made her life miserable too.....

[Blue Rose]

nobody is chosen for bad...

maybe change you're out look on life??

TRY and be more positive, it's hard a lot of time but the best you can do is try right?

try and be more active because then you will release happy hormones... :D:D:D

try not to dwell on the negatives and think of the positives... try to see the best in things...

spend a little time with people that make you feel better about yourself and your situation

and always turn to Allah... Pray to Him for He is the One that can help you the most

hope that helps :)

[danialahad]

Asslam O Alikum dear bro and sisters,

I have seen lots of people are willing to help, giving sincier advise. Unfortunatley in my life i have no one arround to guide me to give me advise in my tough days.

I came to this forum with some different sort of problem., but after seeing the sincier support from you people , i want to tell some thing which i havent shared to anyone or couldnt share to anyone. That incident put so much effect on my life and i feel i am totaly changed person now. With every day passing i feel very much that there should be some one who can hear me. May be telling all this to you people i seems stupid to you , but I want you people to give your opinion about me. Harsh, with anger, even you can curse me if i was wrong. But If i was not... then please tell me why this happend to me...

The incident i am talking about is the breakup of my engagment 3 years back. And now i am once again engaged to someone else and very soon Inshallah i am going to get married.


My and my sisters engagment was fixed with our cousions, the son of my uncle and his sister after the death of my uncle,Aunty, and later my father.
So there was no one in the family to tell us ... and as we lived all our childhood togeather i had very strong feelings about my cousion. She is no doubt is a pious girl. I liked her very much but i didnt bother her to say anything about my feeling. We lived in joint family system, and when we got engaged, i feel very satisfied and thought that she must be agreed on our relationship. Before engagment i only though about her to get married.

Earlier when my father and my uncle and aunty was alibved , as in every joint family , we had clashes. Minor and major. We were two families living in one house.

Any how, after engagment , she shifted to her eldersiter with his brother(who was engaged with my sister) to some other city and i had also left my city and came to lahore for job.

Every thing was seems to be fine and we were planning to arrange marragie soon. But i want to shift my family to lahore, and i shifted some how and all problem started certainly.

I shifted to lahore and some how little clashes started again between my family and her. I never thought that these clashes will come up to an end with relationship breakage. But when i realized this that her family has decided by their own not to continue this relation, I LEFT ALL THE MATER TO ALLAH. I feel my feelings(Niyaat) was not at all bad about her or any other meber of her family, so ALLAH will do beter and every thing will be fine.
But her family pointed out acts and words that they disliked a lot from us in these recent clashes, although we were not the only one responsible for these clashes, They certainly sent a message through some relative that They are ending the relation ships(both engagments).

Initially i feel, anger.... as time passes... i feel.... grief... and now the dissapointment continues with me ..... every day i thought what happend in the past.... Now they are engaged and her brother got married and she is supposed to get married soon.

Some time i feel i should talk to her... but had no means of doing this also i was stuck due to the fact that i was not the only one .... my sister was also suffering with this... so i keep my self busy.. and keep praying to ALLLAH that some how.. every thing become fine...

But .. that time never came... Now me and my sister are engaged again.. and my sister and mother are happy but i am still not... still have strong feeling of dissapointment.. which may be leading me towards.... darkness...

I tried a lot .. but i alwyas try to find logic behind every thing happend to me... Intialy i feel they are worng.. so i feel i should kill at least one of them.... but I am not so brave.. then this feeling turned into disapointment by thinking that we were wrong.. and all this happend due to us.. me and my family.. and we are going to suffer due to this..


THIS is what i have not shared to anyone that i still love her my cousion. And all what happend .... i still not able to forget...


I knwo .. the above post may seems to you people.. that i am mantely not ok... may be you are true... even then i feel i have responsibilty for my sister and my family and the one whome i am going to get married. Personally i feel no pleasure ... no happienss with my new engagment or about my marraige.

That is what i have to say... at least to you people.... and i have said...

[Sahabiyaat]

:sl:

Its not such a terrible thing akhee!

I mean thats what engagements are for, to test each other out, and your families just didnt get along.It is a blessing in disguise, just imagine you got married and these problems arose afterwards!, going through divorce would be twice as worse and if there were children involved! think how many lives would be ruined.

So Allah made it easy for you :) he didnt want you to suffer all that misery afterwards, so he pulled you out before it got nasty, you should look at it like that!

As for your feelings for the sister, you should suppress them as much as possible, especially since shes getting married now, its pointless to pursue something that will come to nothing.Continue to be patient, as you have demonstrated so excellently, and all of us here are proud of you :), and maybe Allah will replace her with somebody much better InshaAllah!

[Sharif]

I have seen lots of people are willing to help, giving sincier advise. Unfortunatley in my life i have no one arround to guide me to give me advise in my tough days.

Doesn't that prove that you're strong and brave and courageous? I know people who have everything they can dream of and they're still living miserable and pathetic life. Do you want to be like them?

Who says you have no one to guide you? To give advice? I don't buy it. You can go to a prison and get advice from everyone of them. Just ask them what they did wrong and you simply don't do that. You don't need a top-notch expert to give you advice.

Every single person you meet and greet can teach you things, IF you're open to it.

So, forget about what other people are giving you. Look at what YOU can learn from other people.

Danial, remember the question "What are you most thankful for in your life right now?"

You gave only one answers. I'm still waiting for FOUR more.

Along with those four answers, here's an additional one:

"What five lesson can you learn from your previous heart-broken experience?" (I emphasize again: "lesson.")

Turn that little bump in your life into an accelerator! Don't be like other people. Be special. You ARE special. You can be even more special. Wipe your tears, get up, straighten your back and your shoulder, take a deep breath, say "bismillaah" and get to it!

So, I'm looking for answers, nothing else:

1. What are you most thankful for you in your life right now? (four more answers; first one was: your mother)

2. What five major lessons can you learn from your previous experience (breaking of your engagement)?

I'm willing to actively help you, if you are willing to help yourself.

Remember, experience is NOT what happens to you, it's what you DO with what happens to you. That's why after a disastrous hurricane/cyclone, the first person would learn a lesson, thank Allaah for he still has, get up and rebuild the whole house from scratch. But the second guy, right next door, would whine, wallow in, complain, cry, and go through slow pathetic miserable life--before he eventually dies with nothing to show for in front of Allaah.

Which person do you want to be?

The first one?

Or the second one?

If you choose the second one, don't waste your time (and mine) answering those questions.

if you choose to be like the first person, then sit up straight, get a glass of water, take a deep breath, and hit "Reply" on the bottom, and start typing your answers.

Again. Do NOT slouch when you're this question. Sit up straight.

Do it NOW!

[transition?]

:sl:
For the topic of suicide, this may help:

http://www.islamicboard.com/fiqh/134...t-way-out.html :D

[danialahad]

I know people who have everything they can dream of and they're still living miserable and pathetic life. Do you want to be like them?

No! But you are right i do have every thing bu still living and miserable life. But i realy cannot help it out.

Who says you have no one to guide you? To give advice? I don't buy it. You can go to a prison and get advice from everyone of them. Just ask them what they did wrong and you simply don't do that. You don't need a top-notch expert to give you advice.
Every single person you meet and greet can teach you things, IF you're open to it.

I Have lost my confidence.. i feel every one giving me advise actually cheating me laughing on my back.

Danial, remember the question "What are you most thankful for in your life right now?"
You gave only one answers. I'm still waiting for FOUR more.

I am telling you truth.. i realy dont know.... what i am most thankful for in my life right now. You are talking about 5... i am not sure about 1 even.

"What five lesson can you learn from your previous heart-broken experience?" (I emphasize again: "lesson.")

Turn that little bump in your life into an accelerator! Don't be like other people. Be special. You ARE special. You can be even more special. Wipe your tears, get up, straighten your back and your shoulder, take a deep breath, say "bismillaah" and get to it!

1- I have learned first lesson... no one in this world is trust worthy.. not even your own closesest relative... every one have their own interest with you behind every association with you. Once that interest weave-out, you can be thrown out from the their life easily..

2- This is true that money is not every thing.. but unconciousely every one know money is every thing... every relation.. every bond... get strengthen and stregthen with money.. in this socity.. character doesn't mater.. wealth and strength maters... might is right seems to be very true..

3- I have learned very much.. that i have to do every thing by my own.. I have realized that i am the only one for me no one else is there...

4- I have realized that my way of living.... is not ok and not acceptable to ALLAH ALmighty... therefor he giving me punishment.. so i have to do more.. to become worthy of his blessings.. and till now .. it is becomming difficult and difficult.

5- Last i have learned that i am not special at all and there is no place for true emotions..... love.. is equal to waist..

Remember, experience is NOT what happens to you, it's what you DO with what happens to you. That's why after a disastrous hurricane/cyclone, the first person would learn a lesson, thank Allaah for he still has, get up and rebuild the whole house from scratch.
Which person do you want to be?

Yes i want to rebuild all the things.. but i have lost my track.. i am loosing the hope... I am hopeless from myself not From ALLAH.. my be in this darkness he show me the right path...

[IbnAbdulHakim]

danialahad i can assure you i never laughed at you but made dua' for you.

please understand muslims wont treat their own brother in such a backstabbing way.

finally danialahad... you must learn to accept qadr. Whats to come shall pass, we can either get sin by being impatient and angry about it

OR

we can be patient through it, ask Allaah for his help and support and hope he shows us a way out.


brother i understand your going through hard times but so are millions of others, dont worry YOU CAN DO THIS! Allah wouldnt put you in a position which you cant handle. Please calm down and ask Allah for help


i hope things work out bro :)

inshaAllaah !

Assalamu Alaikum

[Sharif]

No! But you are right i do have every thing bu still living and miserable life. But i realy cannot help it out.

This is how Allaah tests those whom He loves. So, get ready for an awesome new journey of your life.

I Have lost my confidence.. i feel every one giving me advise actually cheating me laughing on my back.

"EVERY one?" Every single person on planet earth? No!

Those are "movies" in your head that you keep playing. You are intelligent enough to tell the difference between sincere advice and fake advice. Just ignore the fakers, that's it.

I am telling you truth.. i realy dont know.... what i am most thankful for in my life right now. You are talking about 5... i am not sure about 1 even.

You said your mother was one thing you're most thankful for in your life right now.

Are you breathing now? Put that on your list.

Can you walk?

Can you talk?

Can you eat?

Can you type?

Can you responds to nature's call (user bathroom/restroom)?

Can you cry?

Can you smile?

Can you see?

Can you smell?

Can you touch?

Can you say "thank you?"

Can you say "excuse me!"

Even if you were the most miserable person alive on this planet, you could not finish counting all the things you would be passionately thankful for to Allaah.

Forget 5 things. Make a list of 20 things that you're passionately excited about. Start with the ones I gave above.

==

1- I have learned first lesson... no one in this world is trust worthy.. not even your own closesest relative... every one have their own interest with you behind every association with you. Once that interest weave-out, you can be thrown out from the their life easily..

NO ONE? Absolutely NO one? Not even one single person? Hmm...

2- This is true that money is not every thing.. but unconciousely every one know money is every thing... every relation.. every bond... get strengthen and stregthen with money.. in this socity.. character doesn't mater.. wealth and strength maters... might is right seems to be very true..

Who says money is not everything? Get this:

Money is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT in areas of life where it is needed. And money is EXTREMELY UNIMPORTANT in areas of life where it is NOT needed.

Can you have a better shelter and better food and better clothing if you had enough money? Absolutely.

Can you give zakaah and go to Hajj if you had more than enough money? Absolutely.

Can you buy someone's trust with money? Absolutely not.

Can you buy true love and passion with money? Absolutely not.

Can you have deep pleasant sleep at night because of money? May be. May be not.

If character didn't matter then why the heck would you go through the trouble of posting on this forum?

What gives you guarantee that if you had a hundred thousand dollars, tomorrow you won't be homeless?

3- I have learned very much.. that i have to do every thing by my own.. I have realized that i am the only one for me no one else is there...

When was the last time you talked with someone about how you truly felt? I mean talk the way two close friends would talk.

As a man, it's normal to have that guard up there. But sometimes, you need to let that go to clear up your emotional mess!

Go to your mom, give her a hug, sit with her with biscuit/tea, and ask her how she feels; tell her how you feel; cry; cray as much as you want; let your bottled up emotions out and see them become liquid with your tears; let them vaporize; clean up yourself first. Can you do that? It's not easy for a man. It takes a real brave man to share his feelings with someone close. Who could be closer than your mom? You had some kind of fight with her? Just forget it. Go and do what I said and see how you feel. See how she feels.

4- I have realized that my way of living.... is not ok and not acceptable to ALLAH ALmighty... therefor he giving me punishment.. so i have to do more.. to become worthy of his blessings.. and till now .. it is becomming difficult and difficult.

That realization may be huge. How do you know that it's Allaah's punishment? Why can't it be a test? A test to see if you're made out of gold or if you're made out of plastic. It's up to you to the extent of your ability.

5- Last i have learned that i am not special at all and there is no place for true emotions..... love.. is equal to waist..

If I were in front you and I had a glass of water, I would throw that in your face right now!

As a matter of fact, go and do that yourself right now. Throw some cold water at your self pity! My man, people won't regard you UNTIL you regard yourself. Raise your standard. You can't? Well, that's just too bad!

Because success may be waiting for you right around the corner. If you just sit here and keep "dreaming" and "hoping" then, that's just too bad!

==

Ask yourself this: those 5 lessons. Do you believe them at a gut level? Or are you just letting your bottled-up anger and frustrations out? If it's the second reason, then no problem. You need to let them out.

But if you really believe that there is no place for true feeling, then just let me know and I'll stop replying to this thread and so will everyone else. Because none of us saw you or knew you. Why are we taking out precious time from our day and doing this? Because we don't care? Hmm...

Ask your mom that question: if there's any place for true feeling. She'll tell you how she took care of you when you were obviously a pain in the neck as you grew up---just like any baby---but your mom wouldn't say that. Why? Because you couldn't buy that care and love with money!

Hey man, why the heck am I wasting my time typing here at 6 in the morning when I could be sleeping?

Let me tell you a story:

There was once a boy who was crying. His parents were trying everything they could to make him stop. They were outside on the street walking to some place. Why was the boy crying? Because he had no shoe. He was bare-foot. His parents were so poor that they couldn't afford shoes for the boy.

The boy was crying because he sees everyone else with shoes except his family.

Suddenly, the boy sees a man walking past them in crutch. The man had only one leg.

The boy was confused.

He continued his crying but in a lower voice.

He stopped walking. His parents stopped also.

The boy looked at his two legs, surprised. He then looked at his parents' legs. Hmm...

He then looked at that man who was passing by, with a smile on his face, on a crutch, taking each step with confidence although he had only one leg.

The boy's crying died down. He couldn't figure it out: why was the man smiling with only one leg and he was crying with TWO?

===

Yes i want to rebuild all the things.. but i have lost my track.. i am loosing the hope... I am hopeless from myself not From ALLAH.. my be in this darkness he show me the right path...

Are you seriously ready? Then, let's do this. Answer this:

1. What are the TOP 3 goals you want to achieve in the next 90 days?

2. What are some of your 1 year goals?

3. Which obstacles may come up along the way of achieving those goals?

Let's start focusing on things that you want and let's take some actions. Ready? Answer these three questions. Don't forget the 20 things :)

[Blue Rose]

No! But you are right i do have every thing bu still living and miserable life. But i realy cannot help it out.



I Have lost my confidence.. i feel every one giving me advise actually cheating me laughing on my back.



I am telling you truth.. i realy dont know.... what i am most thankful for in my life right now. You are talking about 5... i am not sure about 1 even.




1- I have learned first lesson... no one in this world is trust worthy.. not even your own closesest relative... every one have their own interest with you behind every association with you. Once that interest weave-out, you can be thrown out from the their life easily..

2- This is true that money is not every thing.. but unconciousely every one know money is every thing... every relation.. every bond... get strengthen and stregthen with money.. in this socity.. character doesn't mater.. wealth and strength maters... might is right seems to be very true..

3- I have learned very much.. that i have to do every thing by my own.. I have realized that i am the only one for me no one else is there...

4- I have realized that my way of living.... is not ok and not acceptable to ALLAH ALmighty... therefor he giving me punishment.. so i have to do more.. to become worthy of his blessings.. and till now .. it is becomming difficult and difficult.

5- Last i have learned that i am not special at all and there is no place for true emotions..... love.. is equal to waist..




Yes i want to rebuild all the things.. but i have lost my track.. i am loosing the hope... I am hopeless from myself not From ALLAH.. my be in this darkness he show me the right path...

i don't think anyone is laughing... try and think that they are being supportive alhumdulillah...

keep doing dhikr...

[danialahad]

Slaaam, dear brother sharif,

I appriciate your petience, you are bearing me . You asked me...

Are you breathing now? Put that on your list.
Can you walk?
Can you talk?
Can you eat?
Can you type?
Can you responds to nature's call (user bathroom/restroom)?
Can you cry?
Can you smile?
Can you see?
Can you smell?
Can you touch?
Can you say "thank you?"
Can you say "excuse me!"

I am in a condition where i feel if ALLAH is not with me, then these things are meaning less.

I feel I am not being tested, but being punished.. Tests are for good people ... and i am not so.

This is not that nawoazbillah i am dissapointed form ALLAH, but i m getting dissappointed by my self day by day.. I dont know where to go.. what to do.. getting directionless ...

Money is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT in areas of life where it is needed. And money is EXTREMELY UNIMPORTANT in areas of life where it is NOT needed.

Thanks for correcting me.. you are right.. earlier i my thoughts were not clear so may be i feel guilty and feel myself meterialistic.

If I were in front you and I had a glass of water, I would throw that in your face right now!

You are talking about throwing a glass of water.. i fell i should be beaten by someone brutely if i am worng. Some should shout at me... and tell me .. you are worng.. dont do this.. do that..

people won't regard you UNTIL you regard yourself.

You are true.. I never regard myself infact I dont know how to regard myself.....

Are you seriously ready? Then, let's do this. Answer this:
1. What are the TOP 3 goals you want to achieve in the next 90 days?
2. What are some of your 1 year goals?
3. Which obstacles may come up along the way of achieving those goals?

Goals have been shatered... I dont know about today.. or tomorrow... for next 90 days or 1 year.. may be i have to collect myself first.. Even then it will be hard to see the goals i couldnt achieved yet..

But one thing , one wish i still have.. And i pray.. Please ALLAH forgive me.. and show me the right path.. But i know.. without doing anything myself.. may be this dua not be acceptable... and there i am stuck.. i dont know what to do.. I have fear..

Rabana Aaatina Fiddunia.. Hasana. Wafill Akhirati Hasana. Wakina Azab un Naaar.(Amin).

I have fear, if i am being punished in this world, then noawozbillah,, what will happen with me hereafter.. I am unable to get the success in this world.. will i be able to get it in next world. Thats my fear... I feel I am loosing the batel of this world.. which is leading me to failure...

Am i ready to change me self???

Yes i am ready whole heartedley.. but if some one hold my hand take me to the right path.. for the goodness of this world and hereafter and can make my mind clear about the realty of this life, this world. Becuase i have lost my own track.. i have lost confidence on myself.. I am unable to take any sort of descion.. i feel fear, if i would take any decision.. it will end into wrong.. Like what happend with me in the past...

IbnAbdulHakim: I can assure you i never laughed at you but made dua' for you.please understand muslims wont treat their own brother in such a backstabbing way.

I was not talking about the forum members rather then my relatives etc.

[danialahad]

Slaam To all,

Yesterday, my ex fiancy elder sister came , and asked us to attend the marraige cemoney of their brother who was eariler engaged with my sis... I have refuesed firmly.. though they were saying that they have done mistake when they broke the engagments 3 year back.. but i didnt beleived them that they are speaking the truth and just appearnetly they were inviting us verbaly, to showoff in the family that they have done their faraz by inviting us .. I remind them what they have done with us in the past and said.. I donot have munfiqat for you ... what is in side me .. is on my face.. I am very much heart .. and angry.. so it is not possible for us to have any relationship with you .. and this is not becuase we want this.. but you have finshed this relationship in the past 3 year back which means me a lot and which made us suffered a lot.

I dont know but after last night I feel very much reliefed.... some thing was boiling inside my heart and head from last 3 years... which needed to be realised some how and which was released little bit last night.. so i am feeling beter now..

But on the other side .. a little gut feeling is there ... Have i done write.. What i done was my right .. or should i forget what happend all in the past and again accept their appearence( munafiqat) again leaving all the things to ALLAH. and what should i do next...