format_quote Originally Posted by
AnonymousGender
I hope someone can help inshallah, the thing is am really jealous of my friend. i cant help but feel it.
Hmm... I believe you CAN help it.
Go do something really nice for her--something YOU would want your best friend to do for you if you were getting married.
its as if all her dreams have come true...
ALL her dreams? Every single one of them? You know the saying that grass is always greener on the other side, right? Such "as if" feelings are just like that.
I m really scared of my future, i wish my parents allowed me to matty here. i wish my parents were understanding.
Scared of your future? Hmm... What have you been doing to prepare yourself for the future? What has to happen for your
wishes to come true?
Do YOUR part and leave that up to Allaah.
As a woman i do have desires in the qualities i wish my spouse to have isnahllah , nothing extrordinary, educated, religious, caring etc,,
Hmm... The qualities that you seek in your future spouse, do you have the "feminine" version of those qualities in you? To what extent?
If you were at a level 8, do you think you can ask your parents to look for someone who's also at level 8 or even at level 9 or 10?
nothings hard for Allah SWT, but i get really negative feelings that am nt getting what i want, and my friends will and that hurts me.
Do you have something that you own which you REALLY TRULY ABSOLUTELY love: something that you would not let go off in a million years? Do you have something like that? (a frame/memorabilia/souvenir/anything)
Take that and gift it to someone (better, gift it to your friend who's getting married). It has to be something that you would fight over if someone wanted it from you.
Sharing is caring: true. Here, it needs to go a step beyond that.
i dont want to be jealous and live in their shadow, honest, it really hurts and upsets me. I get angry , i sometimes take it out on Allah SWT may he forgive me.
jealous, shadow, hurt, upset, angry, take it out <-- look at all these words! Man! No wonder! You've got to smarten up your vocabulary a bit. Change all these words into something positive. Change them into things that you DO want, instead of the things that you do NOT!
i ve spoken to my parents, they will do best, but i know what i desire or wish might be hard, i might end up being jealous all the time, coz they have better things than me; money,house, travel abroad etc..
Ask yourself this question:
"What would other people GIVE/sacrifice to attain what I already have?"
Really think about that.
Jealousy? Phoo! You can't be thankful enough for each time you take a deep breath! Each time you come to this forum and read! Counting all the things that you HAVE, you won't any time left for things you don't. <-- I'm not suggesting becoming lazy and doing nothing :) Don't get me wrong! Just focus on the good things you have going in your life and increase on them.
Obviously having money and house and being able to travel abroad would make life a lot easier. But will they REALLY make you HAPPY and SATISFIED and CONTENT and PLEASED?
I'd suggest growing your mind and heart. Learn. Contribute. You'll be rich no matter what you have, insha'Allah.
i really wish he gives each and every one of my friends good kismat/fortune honest,Ameen. i want to be happy but feel insecure and jealous. I ask Allah SWT to give me courage and when its my turn he will give me a perfect spouse inshallah.
In tune with what arabianprincess said: Forget perfection!
Aim for excellence! Always!
May he bless us all and give us good partners, inshalalh, i just hate thinking what i might get , if i marry in pakistan, Allah hu alim....
Indded, Allaahu a'lam. Just keep that closer to your heart that indeed Allaah knows the best.
And also, just chill! Play some pattycake with one of your family members. Do something silly. Change your state whenever you feel down. Take some deep breaths.
You've got only one life to live. Make it awesome!