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anonymous
08-20-2008, 08:47 PM
salam brothers and sisters.

does islam allow a husband to force his wife into something that she isnt ready for???

my husband has told me to start covering my head when im outside the house. is it right for him to force me if im not ready??? not ready as iman is not at that stage at the moment.

Even if i did start wearing a scarf i know it wouldnt last very long. Because id be doing it to please my husband not Allah if you know what i mean.

please help
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Eeman
08-23-2008, 11:47 PM
Salam alaikum sis,
As far as i am concerned forcing someone to do something is not encouraged nor allowed in islam... plus as you said yourself as a muslim brother your husband needs to realise why people wear the hijab and in this world what as muslims our intentions should be and that is to please and do things for Allah swt's sake and ONLY for His sake otherwise it will not be accepted.

so by you wearing the hijab is neither gonna ripen your righteous deeds nor make you a better muslim cos simply your husband has forced you to it.

but if you start to wear it to please Allah swt then Insha'Allah Allah swt will multiply your rewards in abundance and bestow many barakahs in your life cos it was done for Him.



i pray that Insha'Allah Allah swt disposes all your affairs for you and makes your imaan strong, forgives you for all your sins and bestows mny many barakahs upon your marriage and family... and that He Insha'Allah rewards you with Jannah in the akhira.

walikum asalam.
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al Amaanah
08-24-2008, 12:01 AM
then change ur intention and do it to please Allah 3azza wajal. : )
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AnonymousPoster
08-26-2008, 08:00 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Alpha Dudeā„¢
:sl:
To my understanding, sister, you have an obligation to be obedient to your husband, as long as he doesn't ask you do to something that is haraam.

Islamically, he is the head of the household and it is his duty to ensure that Islamic standards are maintained. It is his duty to ensure you wear the hijab and it is your duty to obey him (and of course, ultimately, Allah).
Anon#2

What are you on about? Yeah she must be obedient to her man, but forced into doing something she doesn't want to do?

Can you force a Non-Muslim to become Muslim?

Can you force someone into following Islaam?

She would be doing it to plesae her husband and not Allaah,

Listen I don't have the knowlege or nothing, but from what I can see your post isn't lookin' good, can you atleast provide dhaleel for 'A husband can force his wife into doing the hijaab because she must be obedient towards him'

Thankoo. :thumbs_up


Thankoo Al Amaan
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usman2468
08-26-2008, 08:07 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by anonymous
salam brothers and sisters.

does islam allow a husband to force his wife into something that she isnt ready for???

my husband has told me to start covering my head when im outside the house. is it right for him to force me if im not ready??? not ready as iman is not at that stage at the moment.

Even if i did start wearing a scarf i know it wouldnt last very long. Because id be doing it to please my husband not Allah if you know what i mean.

please help
You should know sister that if you please your husband you are also pleasing Allah.

And it is your duty to Allah as well as your husband to cover your head.
Reply

IbnAbdulHakim
08-26-2008, 12:27 PM
your husband is sinning every second YOU are exposed in public.


he gets the sin, you get the sin.... THINK ABOUT IT
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Danah
08-26-2008, 07:44 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
your husband is sinning every second YOU are exposed in public.


he gets the sin, you get the sin.... THINK ABOUT IT
exactly, your husband is responsible before allah about his family so he want you to wear hijab to protect yourself and also protect himself when allah asking him in the hereafter
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AhlaamBella
08-26-2008, 08:30 PM
Sis my advice is to read about Hijab. Why do we wear it? what are the befits etc. If you're husband sees you are making an effort and considering it he'll be pleased InshAllah. And, you'll be ready to wear it for the right reasons InshAllah. Just educate yourself on the issue :)
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S_87
08-26-2008, 08:48 PM
hmmm interesting question. Theres no point in wearing the hijab just for your husband, its not him you need to please with regards to hijab, its Allah. Look deep into your heart and think about why you dont want to wear the hijab? why dont you want to please Allah?Is it for fashion reasons, because you feel you dont look good, because your other family members may not like it?

Whilst your husband cant 'force' you by gluing it onto your head heres a couple of ayahs that i find appropriate

O you who believe! Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones, over which are (appointed) angels stern (and) severe, who disobey not, (from executing) the Commands they receive from Allah, but do that which they are commanded.
66:6

Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah and to their husbands), and guard in the husbands absence what Allah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husbands property, etc.). As to those women on whose part you see illconduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful), but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allah is Ever Most High, Most Great.
4:34
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barney
08-26-2008, 08:53 PM
I'm just wondering how the sister in question is felt to be under "force".

I assume that the husband isnt physically force-wrapping a hijab around her head, so what sort of pressure is she under? Mental pressure,"threats" of divorce unless she adopts it?
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Musaafirah
08-26-2008, 09:13 PM
Firstly: It is compulsory to wear the Hijab, not just the hijab, but to also wear clothes that are modest and not revealing, so that your body shape can in no way be accidentally even shown to non-mahram males.
Secondly, How do you feel that you're being forced sis? Threats? Just the fact the he 'told' you to wear the Hijab?
Thirdly, in a relationship isn't it necessary to be understanding of the other half? I mean I wonder what he may be feeling for every time you're exposed. Forget that as someone else has already mentioned, what about changing your intentions? Or at least researching about the Head scarf and why it's worn.
Also, Alpha dude really does have a point :)
Lastly, please forgive me for sounding harsh!
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TrueStranger
08-26-2008, 09:23 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Musaafir
Firstly: It is compulsory to wear the Hijab, not just the hijab, but to also wear clothes that are modest and not revealing, so that your body shape can in no way be accidentally even shown to non-mahram males.
Secondly, How do you feel that you're being forced sis? Threats? Just the fact the he 'told' you to wear the Hijab?
Thirdly, in a relationship isn't it necessary to be understanding of the other half? I mean I wonder what he may be feeling for every time you're exposed. Forget that as someone else has already mentioned, what about changing your intentions? Or at least researching about the Head scarf and why it's worn.
Also, Alpha dude really does have a point :)
Lastly, please forgive me for sounding harsh!
You are correct except, believe it or not there is NO WAY ANYONE CAN COVER THEIR BODY SHAPE. I have seen sisters covered from head to toe wearing loose clothes, and i could still know if they were skinny or fat.

We are told to cover ourselves modestly, the chest, hips, thighs, and cravy areas should be covered with loose clothing. :D


:w:
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Snowflake
08-26-2008, 10:54 PM
asalam alaikum,

Whether the husband is forcing or not. Whether the imaan is weak or not. If you can eat the food Allah gives you whether you are starving to death or not, surely you can obey the commands of your Creator to please Him - or not? Show your gratitude by obeying Him. I ache to think that we thank another human being 2-3 times for doinga small task for us. But when it comes to thanking Allah for the endless blessings He has given us, we pretend we didn't notice them or take them for granted and say we need to have imaan to do that? SubhanAllah! How we deceive ourselves.


Not only is it disobeying Allah, it is openly declaring to others that you are disobedient. My dear sis, shun away the voice of your nafs and of the shaytaan. You take one step towards pleasing Allah (not yourself) and Allah will please you. Hijab never takes from a woman's beauty, except that it enhances her in a pure kind of beauty which is appreciated not with lust but with admiration and muslim pride.


May Allah reward your husband for asking you to wear hijab. And may He increase you in righteousness and imaan. Ameen.

asalam alaikum.
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glo
08-27-2008, 04:46 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by usman2468
You should know sister that if you please your husband you are also pleasing Allah.

And it is your duty to Allah as well as your husband to cover your head.
format_quote Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
your husband is sinning every second YOU are exposed in public.

he gets the sin, you get the sin.... THINK ABOUT IT
format_quote Originally Posted by SAYA
exactly, your husband is responsible before allah about his family so he want you to wear hijab to protect yourself and also protect himself when allah asking him in the hereafter
Can somebody supply evidence for these statements?

Thanks
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AnonymousPoster
08-27-2008, 05:01 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by glo
Can somebody supply evidence for these statements?

Thanks
Exactly..

This thread makes me +o( Im a hijabi, not married but really what the hek?
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Ansariyah
09-02-2008, 06:03 PM
May Allah give u strngh to wear it sis amiin.
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S_87
09-02-2008, 06:25 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by glo
Can somebody supply evidence for these statements?

Thanks
4:34
Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are Qanitat, and guard in the husband's absence what Allah orders them to guard. As to those women on whose part you see ill conduct, admonish them, and abandon them in their beds, and beat them, but if they return to obedience, do not seek a means against them. Surely, Allah is Ever Most High, Most Great

from Quran explanation- (tafsir ibn kathir)

Qanitat- obedient to their husbands, as Ibn `Abbas and others stated

Imam Ahmad recorded that `Abdur-Rahman bin 'Awf said that the Messenger of Allah said,
If the woman prayed her five daily prayers, fasted her month, protected her chastity and obeyed her husband, she will be told, 'Enter Paradise from any of its doors you wish

The Messenger of Allah said
If I were to command anyone to prostrate before anyone, I would have commanded the wife to prostrate before her husband, because of the enormity of his right upon her.

both the man and woman has marriage rights and duties, and one of the duties of a woman is to be obedient to her husband. that doesnt mean like if he says the sun is green then you must obey and agree or anything though.


and yes, every man will be asked about his family on the day of judgement
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------
09-03-2008, 03:07 PM
:salamext:

What do u mean ur not ready to cover ur head?! How hard is it to put a scarf on ur head when u go out?! :-\
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IbnAbdulHakim
09-03-2008, 03:22 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
Exactly..

This thread makes me +o( Im a hijabi, not married but really what the hek?
think twice bout wat u jus sed


Abdullah ibn Umar reported that the Prophet (saw) said:

"Three people will not enter paradise, and Allaah will not0 look to them on the Day of Judgement: the one who is disobedient to his parents, the woman who imitates men and the ad-Dayooth." (Ahmad)

Ad-Dayooth[1] is the man who permits women for whom he is responsible (eg: mother, wife, sister etc.) to engage in illicit sexual relations, or to display their beauty to strange men, thereby stimulating their sexual desires.
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BNDGR
09-06-2008, 07:27 AM
Wearing the Hijab for just sake of husband would be wrong in only the way that you would be doing it to please him. But shouldn't you do it for only Allah and to please him only?
I don't wear hijab yet but inshAllah I will soon.
Sister I hope Allah makes this struggle easier for you.
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AnonymousPoster
09-07-2008, 11:04 AM
as Salaam alaykum wa Rahmetallahu

format_quote Originally Posted by - Serene -
What do u mean ur not ready to cover ur head?! How hard is it to put a scarf on ur head when u go out?! :-\
lol Don't be so harsh on the sister, think throughly before you reply. That's sometimes the reaction of sisters who mashaAllah, very early started to wear the scarf and don't think beyond their own experience.

But there is so much more into it than just a scarf and put it on. Modesty, your character, your behaviour... Hijab is the whole package and sometimes it might seem too much for a girl. I think it's even better to re-think your reasons and what's gonna have to change after you wear it, put your heart in it and not just change the way you dress, but make yourself modest aswell.

InshaAllah, Anonymous, you'll see the beauty in hijab and will soon feel ready to wear it.
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Thinker
09-09-2008, 11:05 AM
Is it not contradictory to say it is fard for females to cover their heads (and some believe head and face) when the opposite the case when at Ihram? (I am asking a question not making a statement).
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IbnAbdulHakim
09-09-2008, 11:12 AM
^ during hajj the women do cover the heads, but not the face
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innocent
09-10-2008, 08:34 AM
I dont think he should be forcing you. I have first hand experience at that cos I was forced from childhood and I think it just distances you from Islam.
Since I got my own life I never wore it but I have been thinking about it alot recently and I'm hoping to start soon inshallah.
My husband also pesters me to
wear it even though hes not the slightest bit religious himself. I just say yeah I'm thinking about it and then he forgets about it.
Yes Islam says that the wife should please her husband but it also says that its important to have a good understanding between a couple and thats what makes a marriage successful. I dont think its healthy to be forced into it at all.
Good luck hope you manage to sort it out whatever you decide.
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IbnAbdulHakim
09-10-2008, 11:01 AM
islam says hijab is fard

as for this whole "omg stop trying to force me :'(" , you guys only hurt yourself, your emaan, and your islaam
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Ummu Sufyaan
09-10-2008, 11:27 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
as Salaam alaykum wa Rahmetallahu



But there is so much more into it than just a scarf and put it on. Modesty, your character, your behaviour... Hijab is the whole package and sometimes it might seem too much for a girl. I think it's even better to re-think your reasons and what's gonna have to change after you wear it, put your heart in it and not just change the way you dress, but make yourself modest aswell.
but why don't u put it on, then worry about them things later...i thought they go hand in hand anyway...i.e u put the hijab on, and it comes natural to be good in behaviour, etc...no :?
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Ummu Sufyaan
09-10-2008, 11:31 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
Anon#2

What are you on about? Yeah she must be obedient to her man, but forced into doing something she doesn't want to do?
i dont think he meant forcing her to wear it i think the bro meant that in general shes responsible for obeying him, whether its the hijaab or otherwise.:) it just happens to be in this case the hijaab...nothing about forcing :)

@OP...do u feel comfortable with all them creepy sleezy men looking at you with lust +o(+o(+o( i guess u could look at it that way :p
sis, hes just worried and jealous over ya...thats all... :)
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Re.TiReD
09-10-2008, 01:53 PM
AssalamuAlaykum

Lol you know its Gheerah and its natural.

But sometimes in life we realise that such and such a thing was haram but we did it. And then we wonder why nobody told us to stop it earlier. Sis if somebody is encouraging you to protect urself and do what is fardh, u shud be thankful IMO and take that step forward.

[MOUSE]Power to the Hijaabi's :D[/MOUSE]

WassalamuAlaykum
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AnonymousPoster
09-10-2008, 04:54 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Ramlah
but why don't u put it on, then worry about them things later...i thought they go hand in hand anyway...i.e u put the hijab on, and it comes natural to be good in behaviour, etc...no :?
Do not tell me you have seen only hijaabis who behave well. For there are many of those who even how modest they are clothed, they do not necessarily behave the way they are suppoused to. A piece of clothing does change you skin deep, but not to the bone.
That way which you suggested above, is almost comparable to the issue with having an Islamic name. Muslim by name, but not practicing. Now an Islamic name does not mean you will become practicing or that you are. If you have the hijaab on or not, most is because of your inside, the 'Ilm you have gained, the Eemaan.
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Ummu Sufyaan
09-11-2008, 11:38 AM
:sl:
LOL@ Jolie Fleur:D

A piece of clothing does change you skin deep, but not to the bone.
well let the sis stand out and be different. she dosnt have to be like them...
dont worry how others behave...just worry about how you behave...:) concentrate on your self.

besides...do we really have time to sit and worry about this kinda stuff...to sit and worry about 'being ready' just think about your aakhirah and that ought to put things into perspective, inshallah:)
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aminahjaan
09-13-2008, 11:01 PM
People make Hijab sound so much more intimidating than it really is.
They just say "Oh it's so hard, only really religious people do it." blah blah blah
It's like bug repellent, you should be anxious and ready to start, and happy that your husband wants to protect you. That means he loves you and cares about you. He wouldn't care about you if he let you wear whatever. Hijab is more than a piece of cloth, it's a symbol of dignity and pride and strength. I love my hijab and I would never take it off, it makes me feel like I am something. I'm not saying this to sound cheesy, I mean it. I doubt you'll feel bad with hijab, trust me sis, you won't loose friends. Real friends will stick with you. And Hijab encourages people to look past the beauty and see who you really are. I'm not playing, this is how I truly feel about hijab.
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Na7lah
09-13-2008, 11:18 PM
I DON'T mean to offend anyone but, personally i get annoyed when people tell me "i'm not ready, i can't do it" so when are you gona do it? after you die? seriously...people need to start thinking, if Allah ordered us to do something, who are we to say we're not ready?

again, i'm sorry if i offended anyone...
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