My father..My Jeans & His absent Beard.

[AnonymousPoster]

salams

Can my father disencourage me from wearing my jeans/pants trousers etc with long tops that cover me up to my knees. When he doesn't even have a beard?

He doesnt say "dont"! But he does tell me in a obvious way that he wants me to wear only skirts or abayas.

I love him and want to please him, but I dont understand.

[highway_trekker]

Assalaamu alaykum

I think you're father is only right by encouraging you to do what is better for you and even though wearing jeans with a long top may be modest as may be certain skirts, perhaps he deems the jilbaab as the most proper Islamic attire which it is. About him not having a beard, people can still wish good for you despite them being weak in things themselves. And maybe the jean thing is a cultural issue, but at the end of the day, jilbab is what Allaah has prescribed for Muslim women to wear. And really there is nothing wrong with wearing jeans and long tops under that.

Allaah knows best

[SixTen]

salams

Can my father disencourage me from wearing my jeans/pants trousers etc with long tops that cover me up to my knees. When he doesn't even have a beard?

He doesnt say "dont"! But he does tell me in a obvious way that he wants me to wear only skirts or abayas.

I love him and want to please him, but I dont understand.

If he feels that, the jeans/pants are figure-revealing, then yes he can. Infact, it is more important to dress Islamically as a female, than him growing a beard (one is fard, other is indirect fard, aka wajib).

Also, it is irrelevant what your fathers practicing level is, if you want to do it Islamically, you should heed your fathers advice. Secondly, listening to your parents is a must in Islam - and when they are giving good advice, then you definatly have no excuse not to. (I am assuming, by skirt, he meant a full length skirt, which is loose).

[al Amaanah]

Assalaamu alaykum

I think you're father is only right by encouraging you to do what is better for you and even though wearing jeans with a long top may be modest as may be certain skirts, perhaps he deems the jilbaab as the most proper Islamic attire which it is. About him not having a beard, people can still wish good for you despite them being weak in things themselves. And maybe the jean thing is a cultural issue, but at the end of the day, jilbab is what Allaah has prescribed for Muslim women to wear. And really there is nothing wrong with wearing jeans and long tops under that.

Allaah knows best

baarakallahu feeki.

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[AnonymousPoster]

thanks.

I know that he wants what's best for me. I just felt a bit frustrated. JZK.

[Grace Seeker]

thanks.

I know that he wants what's best for me. I just felt a bit frustrated. JZK.

It makes perfect sense that you should feel frustrated. Perhaps you feel that he has granted himself a freedom that he has denied you. But as others have intimated, this really isn't about your father's level of submission, but yours.

Let's remove the religious undertones and look at it a slighty different way. One of these days you are likely to have children and will want to raise them in a way that insures their safety. For that reason you will probably teach them specific rules about crossing the street: look both ways, hold your hand, and always be sure to cross at the crosswalk never in the middle of the block. Well, I can pretty much guarantee you that one day they will witness you crossing somewhere other than a crosswalk. Does this mean that they should ignore your instructions? Certainly not. For the time being you are the one who gets to make the rules for them, and it matters not how or why you choose to do differently for yourself. There may be perfectly legitimate reasons for you doing something different than what you have instructed them to do, but how can you explain all of these things to them when they are young? So, while one day they shall be able to make these decisions for themselves, for the time being, it is important that they listen to your instructions regardless of what they see you doing.

Your father's decisions may not make sense to you know. And though you are not a young child, still you are under your father's authority. Accept that, respect that, and live by it gladly and you will find your frustrations level decreasing with your increased willingness to accept his guidance in these matters. There will come a day when you can make this decision for yourself. And the time is probably fast approaching and you feel (maybe even are truly) ready for it now. Viewed that way your frustration may not be so much about this single decision of your father, but simply the very natural frustration that comes when a child is ready to become more of an adult and independent than her parents are ready for. It is a time in life we all pass through. But have patience; one day it will be behind you, and much sooner than you now think.

In the meantime think of it not so much as being frustrated by his decisions, but an opportunity to show your father how much you love him by showing him your respect his decision on this matter.

[Thinker]

If he feels that, the jeans/pants are figure-revealing, then yes he can. Infact, it is more important to dress Islamically as a female, than him growing a beard (one is fard, other is indirect fard, aka wajib).

Hi,

I have been trying to get an understanding of why some hadith are obligatory and some seemingly not, would you explain what is fard and what is indirect fard?

Thanks

[IbnAbdulHakim]

edit :-\

[Re.TiReD]

salams

Can my father disencourage me from wearing my jeans/pants trousers etc with long tops that cover me up to my knees. When he doesn't even have a beard?

He doesnt say "dont"! But he does tell me in a obvious way that he wants me to wear only skirts or abayas.

I love him and want to please him, but I dont understand.

Wa'alaykum salam sis

I too have grown up with peple telling me to do things whilst not doing them themselves, been told to pray by people who dont. It is rather frustrating but if somebody is advising us to do something, and it is something that will be of benefit to us, then why argue it?

By the sound of it, your attire sounds good masha'Allah but at the end of the day he's your father, he'll always want what is best for you.

WassalamuAlaykum

[Muhammad]

Hi,

I have been trying to get an understanding of why some hadith are obligatory and some seemingly not, would you explain what is fard and what is indirect fard?

Thanks

It is not the case that some Hadith are not obligatory to follow, rather we are obliged to follow every command of our Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).

The reference was about the ruling on certain actions - whether they are permissible, preferrable, obligatory etc. as stated in the hadeeth or the Qur'an.

[anonymous]

Hi. My husband is like that. He never wants me to wear jeans even though they are not tight and even if I wear a really longtop over them. I just dont get his problem.
There is really nothing wrong with it so I continue to wear them.

[Thinker]

It is not the case that some Hadith are not obligatory to follow, .

So how come most Muslim men don't have full beards and shaven moustaches?

[anonymous]

I dont think beards are farz. Only Sunnah.

[IbnAbdulHakim]

^ its wajib :)

[anonymous]

^what does that mean?^

[IbnAbdulHakim]

^ ^^

wajib - something the prophet sallallahi alaihi wasallaam ordered, and we believe obeying him is to obey God.

according to the hanafi madhab, its wajib