Try to divorce yourself from everything right now and focus on Ramadan..
Through reflection and prayer (especially the last ten days things will be clear for you)
I also suggest you keep a diary/day planner of what you want accomplished and what you have accomplished. I find it a really great way to focus on both positive and negative..
you can start with what you have done today sept 6 write all positive and negative
4:30 Am woke u[ for sihoor, had dates, honey in my tea, toast with jam and some cheese , brushed my teeth, made two prayers before fajr, then fajr, took a quick shower, put some perfume and closed my eyes while listening to sheikh luhidan recite surat Ar'Rahman on my Ipod
woke up, at 8 or 9, smiled to my parents, washed up and say you went to school or work..
write the positive things you have done at work or school -- the things that upset you and your plan to improve them..
write all the prayers you have made,
drove home or took a transportation home, the sky looked solemn and peaceful..
came home, washed up, rested before iftar, did some light home work or whatever is due of you.. broke fast.. prayed maghrib, had some coffee, chatted,
then prepared to head to mosque and make tarwee7 or whether you have done it at home write it down..
if you keep at it every day both positive and negative, when you look back, you are bound to be pleased with yourself, as well know exactly where your faults lie as you have jotted them down and have the intent on improving..
there is no quick fix for anything.. you have to start by respecting yourself as a beautiful creation of Allah swt, and then you have to strive, and that is done a month at a time, a week at a time, a day at a time a minute at a time...
life is a state of constant toil and hardship.. it also pays to look at those less fortunate and that is the great majority of humanity..
Al7mdlilah for all these blessings for just to have been chosen for this religion is the single most greatest gift I could think of..
:w: