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Hamayun
09-10-2008, 08:45 PM
Asalam Alekum

Please forgive me if this is an ignorant question as I am still learning about Islam (Although I was born into a Muslim family I have only recently started learning)

My question pertains to a post I read earlier with regards to Hijab.

format_quote Originally Posted by amani
Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah and to their husbands), and guard in the husbands absence what Allah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husbands property, etc.). As to those women on whose part you see illconduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful), but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allah is Ever Most High, Most Great.
4:34
My wife is French and was a non practicing Christian until we got married. She has said her Shahada and converted to Islam. She is fasting and making an effort to change her life. But she does not cover her head yet.
She dresses modestly and doesnt wear skirts etc but doesnt cover her head.

My question is.. Is it true that I should I beat/force her to wear a scarf? She has accepted Islam on her own and seems to be making an effort with Ramadan and prayers. I can't bring myself to pressure her to wear hijab because I feel that will put her off.

I have told her the significance of the Hijab and left her to make the decision when she is ready. Is that the right thing to do?

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Hamayun
Reply

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Snowflake
09-10-2008, 09:04 PM
asalam alaikum

It is fine brother, inshaAllah. Make dua to Allah to increase the love of the Quran & Sunnah in your wife's heart. It is good that you have told your wife the importance of the hijab but are not forcing her. InshaAllah, judging by her current position, she will slowly start to want to do it on her own accord.

The 'beating' refered to in the above ayah, is the last resort to 'discipline' a rebellious wife who has gone beyond her limits. Even then it's not the kind of beating that hurts/bruises etc... more a light tap/strike in extreme cases.

Even then the Prophet (PBUH)discourage his followers from hitting women and said that the best of them were the one's who were best to their wives. In one Hadith he expressed his extreme repulsion from this behavior and said, "How does anyone of you beat his wife as he beats the stallion camel and then embrace (sleep with) her?” (Al-Bukhari, English Translation, vol. 8, Hadith 68, pp. 42-43)


Allah likes gentleness....
Allah says: "And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect." (Quran: Ar-Rum 21)

Allah Almighty says: “Live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good.” (Quran: An-Nisaa 19)

In fact, even in extreme cases where it is feared that striking one's wife would make matters worse, then it should be avoided.

And Allah knows best.
Reply

Khalisah
09-10-2008, 09:05 PM
:sl:
Hijab isn't easy for everyone, but try and be gentle with her and remind her that it is obligatory on on muslimahs to wear hijab, and also the benefits of Hijab and the rewards for hijab..or even anything for the sake of Allah.

"...We shall reward them according to the best f their deeds" (29:7)

“And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what must ordinarily appear therof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands...'
(24:31)

Also often people need to realise in their own time the importance of an action, having someone else tell you this what you should do may not be that useful. Books/lectures may help so that she can realize for herself, but perhaps not give her overload of info about hijab, slip it in with other topics thats she may like to learn about or needs to know?
INSHALLAH I hope things work out.:)
:w:
Reply

Hamayun
09-10-2008, 09:11 PM
Thank you sisters. It is such a beautiful feeling to be part of a community like this where there is so much good advice and such helpful people.

I am extremely grateful for your advice and will take it seriously.

I will continue to make subtle suggestions to her Inshallah.
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Makky
09-11-2008, 03:57 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Hamayun
Asalam Alekum



I have told her the significance of the Hijab and left her to make the decision when she is ready. Is that the right thing to do?

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Hamayun
I guess the second step is telling her about the obligatory of Hijab, try do it with the same good tone you did it when you 1st spoke about hijab

the next step is to tell her about the punishment in the next life for those who don't wear hijab, but also with the same low tone , take it step by step and let us know what is her respond?
Reply

kwolney01
09-11-2008, 04:18 AM
Give her some time and she should start wearing it by herself. Since she has just recently converted she still is learning, so just give her some time. In time she will wear it and feel comfortable doing so.
Reply

coddles76
09-11-2008, 04:19 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Hamayun
Asalam Alekum

Please forgive me if this is an ignorant question as I am still learning about Islam (Although I was born into a Muslim family I have only recently started learning)

My question pertains to a post I read earlier with regards to Hijab.



My wife is French and was a non practicing Christian until we got married. She has said her Shahada and converted to Islam. She is fasting and making an effort to change her life. But she does not cover her head yet.
She dresses modestly and doesnt wear skirts etc but doesnt cover her head.

My question is.. Is it true that I should I beat/force her to wear a scarf? She has accepted Islam on her own and seems to be making an effort with Ramadan and prayers. I can't bring myself to pressure her to wear hijab because I feel that will put her off.

I have told her the significance of the Hijab and left her to make the decision when she is ready. Is that the right thing to do?

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Hamayun
Asalam Alykum Brother,

The Hijab comes Iman, As you have informed that she is making an effort which is the start. You have the right attitude not to force anything upon her. That will only turn her against islam. Be gently, Help her with advice, Increase your Iman and knowledge then pass that knowledge onto her. Once her Iman Increases and with the help of ALLAH SWT you will not be able to get the scarf off her head inshAllah :)
Reply

BNDGR
09-11-2008, 04:23 AM
InshAllah you will convince your wife of the benefits for following the teachings of the Quran.
I don't think a husband beating or abusing wife would help, since this is something she needs to come to on her own from her heart and for the sole purpose of pleasing Allah.
Reply

Hamayun
09-11-2008, 08:28 AM
Thank you Brothers and Sisters. Inshallah I will speak to her about it soon. Just waiting for the subject to come up.

Thank you for all your advice. It means a lot.
Reply

layla is here
09-25-2008, 06:08 PM
May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala increase her Iman and guide toward the straight way. amen
Reply

Hamayun
09-25-2008, 08:23 PM
Last weekend we went to our local Islamic shop and my wife wore Hijab to go there. She says she will do it every Saturday.

It is a good sign Insha'Allah.
Reply

Thinker
09-25-2008, 08:39 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by Makky
I guess the second step is telling her about the obligatory of Hijab, try do it with the same good tone you did it when you 1st spoke about hijab

the next step is to tell her about the punishment in the next life for those who don't wear hijab, but also with the same low tone , take it step by step and let us know what is her respond?
To help me (and perhaps Hamayan) I'd be grateful if you would show me where it says that it is obligatory to wear the hijab and where it says what the punishment will be for not wearing the hijab?
Reply

Hamayun
09-25-2008, 11:10 PM
Just for the record I have not put any pressure on her whatsoever. She seems genuinely interested in it especially after watching this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0hVIHtPrQI

Anyone who thinks Muslim women are oppressed needs to watch this. Straight from the sisters lips...
Reply

S_87
09-25-2008, 11:40 PM
Alhumdulillah that she is trying brother. InshaAllah she will continue trying and grow to love the hijab. Just one thing i may have misunderstood:

She dresses modestly and doesnt wear skirts etc but doesnt cover her head.
What is wrong with skirts :?
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Hamayun
09-25-2008, 11:42 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by amani
What is wrong with skirts :?
Naked legs? :X
Reply

crayon
09-26-2008, 12:31 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Hamayun
Naked legs? :X
Oh ok... Long skirts do exist though, you know..:p
Reply

Malaikah
09-26-2008, 02:27 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Hamayun
My question is.. Is it true that I should I beat/force her to wear a scarf? She has accepted Islam on her own and seems to be making an effort with Ramadan and prayers. I can't bring myself to pressure her to wear hijab because I feel that will put her off.
:sl:

Brother, the first thing you need to know is that the Arabic word used in the Quran does not mean BEAT it mean means HIT. And a hit, unlike the word beat, has various degrees and only a very light hit is allowed in certain cases (not whenever). You are not allowed to beat your wife in Islam under any circumstance.

As for your wife, take it easy on her. If you overwhelm her she will crack, she is only human after all. Focus first on what is more important, such as her prayers, fasting etc.
Reply

dilkadr
09-26-2008, 03:30 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Hamayun
Asalam Alekum

Please forgive me if this is an ignorant question as I am still learning about Islam (Although I was born into a Muslim family I have only recently started learning)

My question pertains to a post I read earlier with regards to Hijab.



My wife is French and was a non practicing Christian until we got married. She has said her Shahada and converted to Islam. She is fasting and making an effort to change her life. But she does not cover her head yet.
She dresses modestly and doesnt wear skirts etc but doesnt cover her head.

My question is.. Is it true that I should I beat/force her to wear a scarf? She has accepted Islam on her own and seems to be making an effort with Ramadan and prayers. I can't bring myself to pressure her to wear hijab because I feel that will put her off.

I have told her the significance of the Hijab and left her to make the decision when she is ready. Is that the right thing to do?

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

Hamayun
:sl:

My friend you are very lucky. You have a new Muslim with you to demonstrate best of Islamic teachings and life-style. In this process you will learn a lot by yourself too.

I. Yes. It is true that Islam encourages to force it's rulings in specific manner [with respect to time and sapce]. In case of wives it has it's levels; first warn them, then stop sleeping with them and last is beating [slightly]. It is only allowed in case of major wrong-doings. Hijab is one of main teachings. But remember, Hijab must be observed in public places like shopping malls, traveling in public transport, educational institutes and similar places. It is not that much hard and fast at home.

II. As she is new to Islam and as you said she is struggling to learn new life-style. Then you must allow some time to let her understand.

III. I believe love is the most important thing in married life. Once she realized that you love her because she is a good Muslimah then she will try to improve herself [it is what i believe]. If you tell her you will not love her if she don't start practicing Hijab [in public places] then it will make her to think and change herself. I believe this will be enough and level of beating will not rise.

Check these articles for more understanding;

http://www.islamtoday.com/showme2.cf...sub_cat_id=647

http://www.islamicity.com/MOSQUE/ARA...AT/2/2_187.htm

Husband and wife are like cloth for each other; this example is great to understand - we must treat our counterparts as we treat like clothings as least...

:w:

And Allah Knows Best
Reply

dilkadr
09-26-2008, 03:43 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by amani
Alhumdulillah that she is trying brother. InshaAllah she will continue trying and grow to love the hijab. Just one thing i may have misunderstood:

What is wrong with skirts :?
There are various types of skirts... modest and immodest too...

I just recalled a movie "Short Circuit" the female lead character was dressed up in a pretty modest manner. I can say she was very near to the style of good women...

take time to watch this movie or yeah the one "honey i below up to kids" all parts...

Europe and US equally have good people even if they are not Muslims or Christians... it is the media that keep defaming all communities.

please have unbiased eyes...
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dilkadr
09-26-2008, 03:48 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Hamayun
Just for the record I have not put any pressure on her whatsoever. She seems genuinely interested in it especially after watching this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0hVIHtPrQI

Anyone who thinks Muslim women are oppressed needs to watch this. Straight from the sisters lips...
this is good... in that case you must collect more information about Hijab [ref to sura noor in Quran and other aayat-e-mubarika too related to Hijab and modest life style for both men and women] and explain it to her... she seems a sensible person i hope she will get the spirit of it...
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dilkadr
09-26-2008, 04:09 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Thinker
To help me (and perhaps Hamayan) I'd be grateful if you would show me where it says that it is obligatory to wear the hijab and where it says what the punishment will be for not wearing the hijab?
:sl:

It's me again...

Well. Check out these links

http://www.islamicity.com/MOSQUE/ARA...T/24/24_30.htm

24:30 Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: that will make for greater purity for them: And Allah is well acquainted with all that they do.

http://www.islamicity.com/MOSQUE/ARA...T/24/24_31.htm

24:31 And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty; that they should not display their beauty and ornaments except what (must ordinarily) appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband's fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers or their brothers' sons, or their sisters' sons, or their women, or the slaves whom their right hands possess, or male servants free of physical needs, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex; and that they should not strike their feet in order to draw attention to their hidden ornaments. And O ye Believers! turn ye all together towards Allah, that ye may attain Bliss.

As far as punishment is concerned; it is an order and if we do not follow these order then we will be punished in this worlds and the world hereafter...

:w:
And Allah Knows Best
Reply

dilkadr
09-26-2008, 04:18 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Hamayun
Last weekend we went to our local Islamic shop and my wife wore Hijab to go there. She says she will do it every Saturday.

It is a good sign Insha'Allah.
SubhanAllah
Reply

جوري
09-26-2008, 07:42 AM
there is no beating lightly or un-lightly in Islam.. try to follow the prophet SAW example.. did he ever hit anyone?

| Free Quran |
Author:
Br. Estes

RasulAllah P.B.U.H. Said:
"Never beat God's handmaidens."
"Could any of you beat your wife as he would a slave, and then lie with her in the evening?"


Question:
Could you please tell me why the Quran tells men to "beat them" meaning their wives? (chapter 4, verse 34)

Answer:
Thank you for asking about Islam. It is our committment to try our best to provide answers to questions to the best of our ability. However, sometimes we come across questions for which we do not have answers. In this case we will refer you to others who may be able to provide you with proper answers.

Please be aware that we as Muslims, must never lie about anything, especially our religion.

Secondly, we do have the original text of the Quran and the preserved teachings of Muhammad, peace be upon him. This enables us to verify exactly what was said, intended and taught by Muhammad, peace be upon him, as being the religion of Islam.

Third, I would like to remind myself and all who read this in the future that not all questions are purely questions. Some contain statements and implications, that may or may not be true.

Finally, it is important to keep in mind anytime we discover something in the answers to actually be better than what we already have, we should be committed to change our position and accept that which is true over that which is false and take that which is better for that which is inferior.

After taking all of the above into consideration, if we find that the answer to this question provides us with a better approach to understanding what Almighty God has provided us with as a way of life on this earth and in the Next Life, we should then make the logical decsion to begin to worship Him on His terms.

Having said that, let us now look to the particular verse in question in the original text (Arabic), followed by the phonetic sounds in Latin letters and then finally, followed by a translation of the meaning to the English language by experts in both Arabic and in Quranic meanings.




Transliteration
Alrrijalu qawwamoona AAala alnnisa-i bima faddala Allahu baAAdahum AAala baAAdin wabima anfaqoo min amwalihim faalssalihatu qanitatun hafithatun lilghaybi bima hafitha Allahu waallatee takhafoona nushoozahunna faAAithoohunna waohjuroohunna fee almadajiAAi waidriboohunna fa-in ataAAnakum fala tabghoo AAalayhinna sabeelan inna Allaha kana AAaliyyan kabeeran

Explanation (tafsir) of Sura 4:34
Here is the translation of meaning of the verse as best can be defined according to the rules of understanding Quran with the explanations following this translation:
“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah), and guard in the husband's absence what Allah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husband's property, etc.). Regarding the woman who is guilty of lewd, or indecent behavior, admonish her (if she continues in this indecency then), stop sharing her bed (if she still continues doing this lewd behavior, then), [set forth for her the clear meaning of either straighten up or else we are finished and when she returns to proper behavior take up sharing the bed with her again], but if she returns in obedience (to proper behavior and conduct) then seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allah is Ever Most High, Most Great.”

Meaning of the Words
For the three words fa'izu, wahjaru, and wadribu in the original, translated here ‘speak to them in a persuasive manner’, ‘leave them alone (in bed - fi'l-madage'),’ and ‘have intercourse’, respectively, see Raghib Lisan al-'Arab and Zamakhsari. Raghib in his Al-Mufridat fi Gharib al-Qur'an gives the meanings of these words with special reference to this verse. Fa-'izu, he says, means to 'to talk to them so persuasively as to melt their hearts.'
(See also v.63 of this Surah where it has been used in a similar sense.)
Hajara - Wahjaru (do not touch or moleste them)
Hajara, he says, means to separate body from body, and points out that the expression wahjaru hunna metaphorically means to refrain from touching or molesting them. Zamakhshari is more explicit in his Kshshaf when he says, 'do not get inside their blankets.'
Here is the translation of meaning of the verse as best can be defined according to the rules of understanding Quran with the explanations following this translation:
“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah), and guard in the husband's absence what Allah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husband's property, etc.). Regarding women guilty of lewd, or indecent behavior, admonish her (if she continues in this indecency then), stop sharing her bed (if she still continues doing this lewd behavior, then), [set forth for her the clear meaning of either straighten up or else we are finished and when she returns to proper behavior take up sharing the bed with her again], but if she returns in obedience (to proper behavior and conduct) then seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allah is Ever Most High, Most Great.”

Let me begin by explaining the English language is not powerful enough when it comes to translating the meanings of the Arabic of the Quran. Nor for that matter, is any other language on earth. So, all we have is translations of meanings according to the best understanding of the translators.

The operative word in this verse in Arabic is "daraba." While there are literally hundreds of uses for this word varying from "tap" to "walk in stride" to "strike at something" to "set a clear example", the only meaning that can be assigned to something in the Quran must be according to the rules of Quran. And Allah has used the same word a number of times with a consistent meaning. Let us examine them.

Here is what we find from the scholars of the Arabic language:
Daraba (to have intercourse, not to beat)

Raghib points out that daraba metaphorically means to have intercourse, and quotes the expression darab al-fahl an-naqah, 'the stud camel covered the she-camel,' which is also quoted by Lisan al-'Arab. It cannot be taken here to mean 'to strike them (women).' This view is strengthened by the Prophet's authentic hadith found in a number of authorities, including Bukhari and Muslim: "Could any of you beat your wife as he would a slave, and then lie with her in the evening?" There are other traditions in Abu Da'ud, Nasa'i, Ibn Majah, Ahmad bin Hanbal and others, to the effect that he forbade the beating of any woman, saying: "Never beat God's handmaidens."

Source: al-Qur'an: a contemporary translation by Ahmed Ali, Princeton University Press, 1988; pp78-79

Daraba (to set forth, to make a clear statement or proclamation)
One of the key rules of understanding words of the Quran is to go to other places in the Quran to investigate the usage in other places. This word is used by Allah in other places in the Quran to mean "set forth" or "sets up for you" or "makes known to you" - as is demonstrated in the following verses:
Surah Ar-Ra'd (13:17) yadribu Allahu al-amthala “Thus Allah sets forth a parable”
[here the word "yadirbu" is from the exact same root da-ra-ba]
Surah Ibrahim (14:24): Alam tara kayfa daraba Allahu mathalan .. “Don’t you see how Allah sets forth a parable?..”
And again in the next verse: Surah Ibrahim (14:25) wa yadribu Allahu al-amthala li-naasi
“..and Allah sets forth parables for mankind..”
[again the word yadirbu is from da-ra-ba]
Surah An-Nur (24:35) wa yadribu Allahu al0amthala lin-naasi
“And Allah sets forth parables for mankind..”
Surah Ar-Rum (30:28) Daraba lakum mathalan min anfusikum
“He sets forth for you a parable from yourselves..”
Surah At-Tahreem (66:10) Daraba Allahu mathalan lillatheena kafaroo..
“Allah sets forth an example for those disbelievers..”
In fact, the word daraba has not been translated to mean (beat) or (hit) or (strike) in any other verse of the Quran except this one.
The words for (beat) as in [to hit] found in Surah Baqarah 2:275 ... kama yaqoomu allathee yatakhabbatuhu ash-shaytanu mina almassi..
"..like the standing of someone beaten by the devil (Satan) leading him to insanity."

And in Surah Ta Ha 20:18 Allah Says, “Qala hiya Aasaya atawakkao Aalayha waahushshu biha Aala ghanamee waliya feeha maaribu okhra.”
"This is my stick, whereon I lean, and wherewith I beat down branches for my sheep and wherein I find other uses."

As you can see, these are not even related to the word (daraba).
Verses 34 and 35 in Surah An-Nisaa' need to be read together to understand this is the proper relationship between men and women in general and husband and wife specifically.

Islam seeks to hold the family together and to make peace and reconciliation between spouses. The next verse makes it clear what to do in the case where it seems that divorce may be the result of the uncorrected bad behavior. It stresses appointing arbitrators from both sides and seeks reconciliation.

The first part of 34 deals with all men taking care of all women. Then goes on to explain the wife's proper obedience to Allah because He is the One Who has ordained this relationship of provision and protection for her and to be appreciative and respectful of her husband, guarding herself and his property in his absence. The man is told the proper way to behave when he finds his wife not complying with decency and proper behavior of a Muslim wife. He has a direct order to begin with admonishing her and then if there is compliance to leave her be and don't give her a hard time about it.

However, if this continues, he should not have sex with her and this makes it clear to her that he is most serious and this not a joke. Again, if she comes around then he is to let it go and not bother her about it. Finally, if she still insists on such lewdness and bad conduct, he is to make it clear to her in no uncertain terms that they are going to be heading for separation or even divorce unless she comes back to proper behavior. Again, if she complies, then he should not bring it up and return to the bed with her.
And of course, this is all in an effort to translate one short but powerful phrase from Arabic to English. The sources are quoted herein and there may be other interpretations but the only acceptable ones are those based on the teachings of the Quran and the prophet, peace be upon him.
And as always, Allahu 'Alim (Allah is the Knower)

Source: al-Qur'an: a contemporary translation by Ahmed Ali, Princeton University Press, 1988; pp78-79

In the past, some translators of this verse have mistakeningly used the word "beat" or "hit" or even "scourge" (as in the case of an old translation) to represent the word "daraba" in Arabic. This is not the opinion of all scholars especially Raghib and Zamakhshari as mentioned above and those who are well grounded in both Islam understanding and the English language.
34.
Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allâh has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allâh and to their husbands), and guard in the husband's absence what Allâh orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husband's property, etc.). As to those women on whose part you see ill*conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful), but if they return to obedience, seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allâh is Ever Most High, Most Great.
The understanding now is that some of the translations are not properly representing the spirit of the meaning. Therefore, they cannot be considered to be the representation of what has been intended by Almighty God.

Now we can properly understand that Almighty God has commanded the men to provide for the women and allow them to keep all of their wealth, inheritance and income without demanding anything from them for support and maintenance. Additionally, if she should be guilty of lewd or indecent conduct, the husband is told to first, admonish her and then if she would cease this lewdness. If she should continue in this indecency, then he should no longer share the bed with her, and this would continue for a period of time. Finally, if she would repent then he would take up sharing the bed with her again.

And Allah is All Knowing of the meanings.
http://www.islamicboard.com/refutati...tml#post723798

as for hijab, I would advise her but wouldn't push the matter.. it might actually do the opposite of what you are desiring...

:w:
Reply

julie sarri
09-26-2008, 10:59 AM
I think that as many other's have said that she will make her own way if she has started wearing it to go out that means she is getting used to the idea my own husband was shocked when after i reverted i asked him to buy me some hijab and i started wearing it now its the normal thing to do insha'Allah Allah swt will make it easy for her and you brother
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Hamayun
09-26-2008, 11:12 AM
Subhan Allah Sister Julie. You live not far from us. Maybe some day you can share some of your experience with my wife Insha'Allah.
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julie sarri
09-26-2008, 01:52 PM
Insha'Allah brother i would be happy to share my experience of reverting to islam with your wife one day
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aamirsaab
09-26-2008, 02:00 PM
:sl:
As with anything, you must ease people into the teachings of Islam. Explain to your wife the benefits and concept of hijab. It's better that she goes through this particular process slowly and surely rather than rushing into it (which she would most likely feel intimidated by). Be by her side the whole way, supporting her and the rest will fall into place, insha allah.
Reply

MARTYR
09-29-2008, 05:37 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by kwolney01
Give her some time and she should start wearing it by herself. Since she has just recently converted she still is learning, so just give her some time. In time she will wear it and feel comfortable doing so.
Good Advice

Martyr
Reply

Hamayun
09-30-2008, 08:53 AM
Thank you all for your advice.

We went head scarf shopping on Saturday. She has bought a few more head scarfs.

At the moment she only wears them on weekends when we go out together, but at least its a good start.

May Allah guide us.
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julie sarri
09-30-2008, 11:32 AM
The main thing is keep encouraging her brother the more support you give the better she will feel and the more she wears it the more her Eemaan will grow and she will feel she can wear it full time insha'Allah i remember my husband support was the thing that helped me he told me make du'a to Allah swt to make it easy for you with your family as i am very close with my mother. who is old 73 she was very upset when i started wearing hijab and they fault i would stop but Allah made me strong and i didn't see my family for 3 months becouse i wouldn't remove the hijab my Eemaan increased in this time Allah helped me he made them soften towards me and they ended up missing me and excepted me with hijab. Now they say i am so different to the person i was before and they love me so much more as a muslimah and this is all from Allah the most merciful
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Hamayun
09-30-2008, 11:35 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by julie sarri
The main thing is keep encouraging her brother the more support you give the better she will feel and the more she wears it the more her Eemaan will grow and she will feel she can wear it full time insha'Allah i remember my husband support was the thing that helped me he told me make du'a to Allah swt to make it easy for you with your family as i am very close with my mother. who is old 73 she was very upset when i started wearing hijab and they fault i would stop but Allah made me strong and i didn't see my family for 3 months becouse i wouldn't remove the hijab my Eemaan increased in this time Allah helped me he made them soften towards me and they ended up missing me and excepted me with hijab. Now they say i am so different to the person i was before and they love me so much more as a muslimah and this is all from Allah the most merciful
Subhan Allah Sister that is a beautiful story. My wife doesn't have any Sister's to support her around here. I wish she could be in the company of other Sister's so she feels more comfortable.

Jazakallah Khayran Sister.
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dilkadr
10-01-2008, 08:38 PM
:sl:
Ref. http://www.islamicity.com/mosque/ara...yat/7/7_26.htm



7:26 O ye Children of Adam! We have bestowed raiment upon you to cover your shame, as well as to be an adornment to you. But the raiment of righteousness,- that is the best. Such are among the Signs of Allah, that they may receive admonition!

My friend, here is the most important teaching about clothing...

Hope it will help understanding to guidance available to us.

Personal Opinion:

I believe all the good cultures follow this ruling about modest clothing, regardless of their religion or anything else..... It is how human beings are created or it is human nature.

:w:

And Allah Knows Best
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