Where Else?

[جوري]

I am not sure why am I writing this knowing full well, no one can help me.. it is what it is --'natural grief' I can't hasten it, I can't walk past it, I can't jump over it, I can't go under it, can't ignore it.. I am living it-- and it is suffocating me..

I am so overcome with sorrow, I can't get through my day, I have round the clock headaches, I am always on the verge of tears but they don't come out-- I get no release.. just this tension and constant feeling of utter defeat, and I am helpless against it.. it takes my breath away, I put my face in the pillow to scream, it doesn't help me... nothing but a cloud of darkness hovers over my head, I take it into the night, into the day.. I can't communicate with people without being abrupt or sharp in tone-- I feel sorry for my poor parents but I am slowly letting go of any verbal communication with people... even writing this doesn't provide me with any sort of a vent, it just make me feel more vulnerable..

I just want to feel better... I feel deprived of air and life .. I am so sad imsad

[BNDGR]

Asalam alaikum dear sister,
I could feel your pain so much in your post! I want so much to come out with words of comfort for you but I don't know what to say other than Allah is there for you, and we as your fellow muslim bros and sisters are here for you.
I don't know where your deep grief comes from but I am so sorry.
Sometimes people are in such a hole of despair that it becomes seemingly impossible to climb out, sister inshAllah you will be guided out of your sadness soon. I will keep you in my prayers...
Take Care sister...

[Tania]

You have to make a change in your life.