shook hands

[anonymous]

with a man. he caught me by surprise. i feel so bad and silly now. i know its haram for me to touch another man but it just happened. i feel :cry: he just introduced himself andf stuck out his hand. i didnt have time to think :(

[true_muslimmah]

I know how u feel sis, at my training i have this tutor, he is very touchy-feely person, when he hears something good he will shake your hand and start stroking your back like your some cat.

I hate when he does that, and myself ended up shaking his hand, yuck, it is any ghunnah on us for this?

[IbnAbdulHakim]

funny lol when i dont have time to think i freeze, not allow my body to move on its own by thrusting out a hand ;D


next time just smile and say sorry

[------]

I know how u feel sis, at my training i have this tutor, he is very touchy-feely person, when he hears something good he will shake your hand and start stroking your back like your some cat.

I hate when he does that, and myself ended up shaking his hand, yuck, it is any ghunnah on us for this?

Slap him one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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[Musaafirah]

I know how u feel sis, at my training i have this tutor, he is very touchy-feely person, when he hears something good he will shake your hand and start stroking your back like your some cat.

I hate when he does that, and myself ended up shaking his hand, yuck, it is any ghunnah on us for this?

Kindly explain, you can't have contact with males for religious purposes..Which also means you're not allowed to shake hands..
Failing that follow Serene's advice :D

[IbnAbdulHakim]

Kindly explain, you can't have contact with males for religious purposes..Which also means you're not allowed to shake hands..
Failing that follow Serene's advice :D

disagreed i think serenes advice should precede yours

both should be implemented

serenes one should be concentrated on though

[Thinker]

with a man. he caught me by surprise. i feel so bad and silly now. i know its haram for me to touch another man but it just happened. i feel :cry: he just introduced himself andf stuck out his hand. i didnt have time to think :(

Hi,

Surely if you are living in a Muslim country the men there would know that it is contrary to local custom not to shake hands and consequently not offer his hand; I presume you are living in a Muslim country?

[IbnAbdulHakim]

Hi,

Surely if you are living in a Muslim country the men there would know that it is contrary to local custom not to shake hands and consequently not offer his hand; I presume you are living in a Muslim country?

but its forbidden quite stricly by the doctrines of islaam so its not something we can compromise. However there are many other ways we entertain the local custom such as being polite to neighbours, inviting them around and just being friendly. Theres no need to compromise religion for local customs

[Musaafirah]

Hi,

Surely if you are living in a Muslim country the men there would know that it is contrary to local custom not to shake hands and consequently not offer his hand; I presume you are living in a Muslim country?

She hasn't stated that she's living in a Muslim country :muddlehea..I assumed she meant she was in a Western Country, as I've also experienced people wanting to shake hands with me..I just give them the reason I've stated above..
Oh..and Bro Ibnabdulhakim..Whatever happened to kindness?..But then again the dude does sound like a twerp...

[Thinker]

but its forbidden quite stricly by the doctrines of islaam so its not something we can compromise. However there are many other ways we entertain the local custom such as being polite to neighbours, inviting them around and just being friendly. Theres no need to compromise religion for local customs

The point I was trying to make was - if she is living in a non Muslim country she needs to take into account the affect her refusal to shake hands would have. If I put out my hand and someone refused to shake it I would be offended. If your beliefs are THAT fundamental then perhaps you shouldn't live in a culture where hand shakes are the norm.

[Musaafirah]

The point I was trying to make was - if she is living in a non Muslim country she needs to take into account the affect her refusal to shake hands would have. If I put out my hand and someone refused to shake it I would be offended. If your beliefs are THAT fundamental then perhaps you shouldn't live in a culture where hand shakes are the norm.

What if they've explained the reasoning behind no shaking hands?
Also, shaking hands is completely unnecessary where a simple hello or other greeting or whatever's necessary at the time will suffice..

[IbnAbdulHakim]

The point I was trying to make was - if she is living in a non Muslim country she needs to take into account the affect her refusal to shake hands would have. If I put out my hand and someone refused to shake it I would be offended. If your beliefs are THAT fundamental then perhaps you shouldn't live in a culture where hand shakes are the norm.

what a narrow minded man you are

[Re.TiReD]

with a man. he caught me by surprise. i feel so bad and silly now. i know its haram for me to touch another man but it just happened. i feel :cry: he just introduced himself andf stuck out his hand. i didnt have time to think :(

:salamext:

Aww the rest of the twerps in this thread aint even consoling you.

Sis it happened and u didnt do it on purpose. In future insha'Allah maybe have summin ready to say....or maybe even appear hesitant and he may get the message? :ooh:

[Thinker]

what a narrow minded man you are

I'm narrow m inded!!! Most people in this world, for all the right reasons, care about what others think of them. You need to ask yourself "what would would they think of me by refusing to shake their hand?" Then you need to ask yourself the question "in refusing to shake that persons hand (in the name of Islam) what image does that portray of Islam?" I would suggest that the refusing to shake that mans hand would not only protray your self as a radical fundamentalist it would also portrary Islam as a radical fundamentalist religion. Is that the image you want to portray?

[true_muslimmah]

Slap him one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lol, and get kicked off my training? They will never understand

[IbnAbdulHakim]

I'm narrow m inded!!! Most people in this world, for all the right reasons, care about what others think of them. You need to ask yourself "what would would they think of me by refusing to shake their hand?" Then you need to ask yourself the question "in refusing to shake that persons hand (in the name of Islam) what image does that portray of Islam?" I would suggest that the refusing to shake that mans hand would not only protray your self as a radical fundamentalist it would also portrary Islam as a radical fundamentalist religion. Is that the image you want to portray?

its narrow because you actually would go as far as to think badly of someone just because they wish to have no physical contact with you. If you was open minded you would be OPEN to the REASONS they dont want to physically contact. One physical contact leads to being loose and when your loose your willing to do far more.


as is the western culture and society...

[true_muslimmah]

I'm narrow m inded!!! Most people in this world, for all the right reasons, care about what others think of them. You need to ask yourself "what would would they think of me by refusing to shake their hand?" Then you need to ask yourself the question "in refusing to shake that persons hand (in the name of Islam) what image does that portray of Islam?" I would suggest that the refusing to shake that mans hand would not only protray your self as a radical fundamentalist it would also portrary Islam as a radical fundamentalist religion. Is that the image you want to portray?

Spot on, you said it the best possible way. I totally agree with you, I just keep my distance from him and if he asks me "any luck on a job" i say naa, not yet, to avoid him getting all touchy feely, hehe :statisfie

[Chuck]

I'm narrow m inded!!! Most people in this world, for all the right reasons, care about what others think of them. You need to ask yourself "what would would they think of me by refusing to shake their hand?" Then you need to ask yourself the question "in refusing to shake that persons hand (in the name of Islam) what image does that portray of Islam?" I would suggest that the refusing to shake that mans hand would not only protray your self as a radical fundamentalist it would also portrary Islam as a radical fundamentalist religion. Is that the image you want to portray?

why not shaking hands is such a big deal? Hello would suffice. If I don't want to shake hands, it is my right not to shake hands... simple as that. Hello would be enough.

[------]

:salamext:

Tell them he's tryna touch u up :| no tutor is allowed to do that hun

[IbnAbdulHakim]

Spot on, you said it the best possible way. I totally agree with you, I just keep my distance from him and if he asks me "any luck on a job" i say naa, not yet, to avoid him getting all touchy feely, hehe :statisfie

he thinks your soft and vulnerable that perv his probably done it to loads of other girls


nothing is worth a muslims honor and dignity

[youngsister]

:sl: Dont worry sis that happened to me as well, I havent done it for months and then one day boom i do it without even thinking about it and by the time i put my hand out is too late lol:-[

[Hamayun]

I'm narrow m inded!!! Most people in this world, for all the right reasons, care about what others think of them. You need to ask yourself "what would would they think of me by refusing to shake their hand?" Then you need to ask yourself the question "in refusing to shake that persons hand (in the name of Islam) what image does that portray of Islam?" I would suggest that the refusing to shake that mans hand would not only protray your self as a radical fundamentalist it would also portrary Islam as a radical fundamentalist religion. Is that the image you want to portray?

So if an Indian person put his/her hands together to say Namaste to you would you get offended? Thats their way of shaking hands.

I love the way Americans think... :rollseyes

All cultures/traditions/customs are wrong/rude/offensive apart from the American/western culture. They can't seem to grasp that what they find offensive is probably the norm in another culture.

When will the Westerners learn to respect other cultures for God's sake!!!! :enough!:

[true_muslimmah]

:sl: Dont worry sis that happened to me as well, I havent done it for months and then one day boom i do it without even thinking about it and by the time i put my hand out is too late lol:-[

lol, well i had a kick off with my other tutor, i mean he totally hates me, i couldnt care less, so what i have done is moved to another room where i hardly see any of them, that way is best.

Serene: lol, i remeber once this other girl was sat down and they were discussing about her CV ye, and he took out his hand to shake, you know what she did...

Put her cardigan sleeve over her hand and shook his hand instead, she herself is marshAllah a practising muslimmah and i thought if she could think that much then she could have thought of telling him that "tut tut no can do"

[true_muslimmah]

So if an Indian person put his/her hands together to say Namaste to you would you get offended? Thats their way of shaking hands.

I love the way Americans think... :rollseyes

All cultures/traditions/customs are wrong/rude/offensive apart from the American/western culture. They can't seem to grasp that what they find offensive is probably the norm in another culture.

When will the Westerners learn to respect other cultures for God's sake!!!! :enough!:

I dont think them "westerners" know what other culture consists of. You know maybe they lack an understanding in it.

[Cabdullahi]

everyone is going bizerk if the tutor who is like your 'father' ,in respect termninolgy he is! then if he sticks out hes hand spontaniously and you shook it that is fine allah wont judge you on that but if you go around and shaking hands of men purposely then thats haram but if you still feel abit bad or guilty then just ask your tutor and just say 'excuse me sir im a muslim and shaking hands of other males is not allowed but on this occasion it is ok because you didnt know but in future reference i would ask you politely to refrain from shaking my hand'

simple!!!

every1 is saying u should of knocked him out??! how does that work the sister is worried of committing a sin and you guys want her not only too touch him even more but to give him a knock out blow???!

what does allah say

"Invite (all) to the Way of thy Lord with wisdom and beautiful preaching; and argue with them in ways that are best and most gracious: for thy Lord knoweth best, who have strayed from His Path, and who receive guidance." (Qur'an 16:125)

is wisdom punching everyone that makes a mistake unintentionally

[Güven]

When Sisters Want To Shake my hand :X

:w:

[Chuck]

So if an Indian person put his/her hands together to say Namaste to you would you get offended? Thats their way of shaking hands.

I love the way Americans think... :rollseyes

All cultures/traditions/customs are wrong/rude/offensive apart from the American/western culture. They can't seem to grasp that what they find offensive is probably the norm in another culture.

When will the Westerners learn to respect other cultures for God's sake!!!! :enough!:

Thinker is not American, he/she is French. Check his/her location. Most Americans tend be more respectful in the regard. If you remember, American media did not publish cartoons while Western European media did on many occasions. Western Europe seems to have some kind of complex with Islam vs Freedom of speech and other related issues.

[truemuslim]

Lol ok so what, if someone stick out ther hand, then shake it, if you cant shake his HAND what would bring your hand to his face???
if he sticks out his hand:
Option #1 - Freeze till he feels embarassed and puts it back
Option #2 - shake it and get over it bcuz it aint big
Option #3 - Tell him WHY you wont shake it instead of shake it and feel bad.
Option #4 - tell him "what...the HELL are you doing????????" and he will totally stop that forever!
Option #5 - wait no im out of options

now choose which one is best, do it. and you'll all live happily ever after...


p.s. Thinker; stop thinking, other people; CHILLLL!!!

[------]

:salamext:

Exactly. For once I agree with truemuslim. What has hapenned, has happened - make sure it doean't happen again! Khalaas!

[Sahabiyaat]

this happens plenty of times, only recently when i had to go to the plagarism meeting, the guy stuck out his hand and said oh hi, i no u! so i had to shake it, and i know how you feel when you say you feel bad afterwards,you just keep thinking if only my eman was strong enuf and i could give that 'im not allowed to shake hands with males' talk....but it just never comes:-[, and they give u such a hearty smile (:D), you falter mid-speech and just go like this :X

[Thinker]

So if an Indian person put his/her hands together to say Namaste to you would you get offended? Thats their way of shaking hands.

Not if I was in India. In fact if I was in India, as a asign of respect I would do as they do. AND, if I was in Saudi etc., as a sign of respect, I would follow whatever the local customs were.

[Thinker]

Would someone please point me to the verse that says that you shouldn't shake hands?

Thanks

[Nájlá]

theres a hadith^

Hadith - Bukhari 9:321 (& 7:211)

The Prophet used to take the Pledge of allegiance from the women by words only after reciting this Holy Verse: (60.12) "..that they will not associate anything in worship with Allah." (60.12) And the hand of Allah's Apostle did not touch any woman's hand except the hand of that woman his right hand possessed. (i.e. his captives or his lady slaves).

[bewildred]

What about my brothers-in-law? Can I shake their hand? Here, people kiss each other on the cheeks to greet. Whenever I hesitate, they take it bad. What do you think?

S.

[------]

:salamext:

^ No he is still a non-mahram, so you cannot.

[------]

Greetings and :salamext:


Please people, lets not resort to personal insults and discuss this in a rational and calm manner, with sticking to the topic.


Thank you.

[Hamayun]

Not if I was in India. In fact if I was in India, as a asign of respect I would do as they do. AND, if I was in Saudi etc., as a sign of respect, I would follow whatever the local customs were.

Fair enough. But would you do it even if it made you uncomfortable or went against your morals?

[Chuck]

Not if I was in India. In fact if I was in India, as a asign of respect I would do as they do. AND, if I was in Saudi etc., as a sign of respect, I would follow whatever the local customs were.

Here is a better example, here where I live people kiss too when they meet as bewildered mentioned. Kissing is part of culture, it is not boyfriend/girlfriend type of kiss and it is not looked in a sexual way. Normally in local traditional custom it is a kiss on the nose as part of greeting and sign of good/caring gesture and men kiss each other that way too. So when you come here and go to meet a local traditional family you will allow them to kiss you and kiss them in return for greeting?

[islamirama]

Rasulullah S.A.W. said, "It is better for a man that a steel nail be driven through the centre of his head rather than if he touches the palm of a strange women."

Prophet S.A.W. said, "The one who touches the hand of a woman without having a lawful relationship with her, will have an ember placed on his palm on the Day of Judgment." (Takmalah, Fath alQadir)

Again I reiterate that it is My RIGHT to shake someone's hand or not, the westerners that cry so much about why others don't shake hands with them need to practice some hygiene and start washing their hands after going to the toilet. Don't complain if you find it offensive, fix your ways!

[Hamayun]

To be fair I can kinda see both point of views. Easiest way is to apologise for not being able to shake hands.
I am sure they would understand.

No more comments from me.

[Thinker]

Hmmm - at the risk of irritating the person deleting my posts - I ask the same question (again but in a different way) - - - is every hadith to be read literally? Could it not be that when someone says 'touch the hand' they might be using a euphemism for hand meaning something more than hand e.g. ***. As it is the case that some people believe that when God told Adam not to eat the apple he actually didn’t prohibit the eating of apples, he used apple as a euphemism for *** with Eve..

[Na7lah]

yes, some hadiths are meant to be taken literally, in this case, the Prophet himself did not shake the hands of women, so we follow his example

[AnonymousPoster]

:threadclo

I made it.

[crayon]

Whenever a guy reaches out to shake my hand I just smile and say "I'm sorry, I don't shake hands with men". Some are taken aback at first, but if time permits I explain, and they understand. No one has ever been offended, at least not visibly.

[Afraa]

lol, that happened to my cousin once. It was so funny.

[Najm]

AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

Humm, customs are customs, if i dont want to shake hands with females, then you must have a good reason, and of course we do>>> we are not allowed to>>> SIMPLE!! AND this goes for male teachers who are touchy feely, tell them its a NO NO:raging:

Understanding people will never be offended.....i found it to be quiet the opposite. I remember last when i went to an interview, and the interviewer who was a lady, who wanted a hand shake. I simply told her, and she was kool with it. In fact she said i respect those who hold strong to their beliefs. When we tell people why we dont handshake, lets do it in a polite manner and not be rude about it. Alhamdulillah people will understand

May we all try our uppermost to hold on to the rope of Allah(Subhana Wa'Tala). Ameen

FiAmaaniAllah