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AnonymousPoster
09-22-2008, 07:50 PM
salam to all
i am worried sick abt my bro who is like 25 and is crazily into internet chatting & porn & girls.
for the past 3-4 years he has changed a lot ... he isnt even praying anymore. fasting without praying isnt going to be of any help.
he has starts shouting at us all ... my dad, mom & me. im sure he will end up in hell & drag us all with him.
its just that his friends & all the girls he knows glorify him too much ... he thinks he is some big shot ... sometimes i even cry at what fate he will end in and what my parents will have to suffer at his hands.
he has no sense of shame, righteousness or anything.
at this moment ... i have been waiting for 2 hours just to go with him to the grocery store to buy food stuff ... and he is just sitting there chatting to those -------- girls & guys on the net. when you say something to him .,... it has no effect ... seem as if he is deaf & dumb ... just chats & chats ..


tell me what to do ... if killing wasnt haram ... i would have killed him!
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Mikayeel
09-22-2008, 08:19 PM
Thread approved :)

:w:
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islamirama
09-22-2008, 08:21 PM
share the story "The boy who tried to escape death" that is posted on this forum, give him the link and dare him to read it start to end.
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Re.TiReD
09-22-2008, 08:23 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by islamirama
share the story "The boy who tried to escape death" that is posted on this forum, give him the link and dare him to read it start to end.
here: http://www.islamicboard.com/general/...ape-death.html
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ayan333
09-22-2008, 08:24 PM
:sl:

i totaly unnderstand sis

its the fitnah of this world and country

its crazy seeing all these Muslim Brotehrs and Sister who are fasting but not Praying..they jus dont understand that Prayer is what going to be junged first

i wish i could give you advice..i need some myself

:w:
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AnonymousPoster
09-22-2008, 08:24 PM
..Yeh I think I would kil im azwell,

Try talking to him, lecture him about hell fire, tell him about this life being short and his real life being in the aakhirah,

If talking doesn't work,


Pray for him, ask Allaah to guide him and rectify his condition,


Ask your rents to pray for him, no matter how £$%&*( he is, he needs you, and this is no time to ignore him or disown him, if your parents prayer does not work, whose will?


You should try and talk things through as a family, you on your own cannot change him, and realise that he cannot change overnight, so you gotta be patient,


I really do feel sad for you and your fam 2 b gin thru all this,


Ask Allaah to grant your family Sabr,

He may not want to leave his freind but it seems to me that he is picking up bad traits from them also, so maybe he can get new ones, move away for a bit with the family if you have to,


Tell him that Allaah does not need him to stop eating and drinking when he is doing all this, what is the point?

With all this lecturing he will soon come to his senses,


May Allaah grant me and him guidance and make it easier for us, Ameen

May Allaah protect you and your family from the hellfire, Ameen.#



AsalamuAlaykum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuhu.
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true_muslimmah
09-23-2008, 10:45 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
salam to all
i am worried sick abt my bro who is like 25 and is crazily into internet chatting & porn & girls.
for the past 3-4 years he has changed a lot ... he isnt even praying anymore. fasting without praying isnt going to be of any help.
he has starts shouting at us all ... my dad, mom & me. im sure he will end up in hell & drag us all with him.
its just that his friends & all the girls he knows glorify him too much ... he thinks he is some big shot ... sometimes i even cry at what fate he will end in and what my parents will have to suffer at his hands.
he has no sense of shame, righteousness or anything.
at this moment ... i have been waiting for 2 hours just to go with him to the grocery store to buy food stuff ... and he is just sitting there chatting to those -------- girls & guys on the net. when you say something to him .,... it has no effect ... seem as if he is deaf & dumb ... just chats & chats ..


tell me what to do ... if killing wasnt haram ... i would have killed him!
:sl:

I can kind of relate to you Anon (dunno if u a bro or sis)

My brother who is also 25 Astagfirullah, he is a shame. His final abode is hell if he doesnt change his ways. I call him "women basher", in fact i have cut all ties with him even though we both live under the same roof, what he did to me is unforgiveable. (he beats his wife up, same with me, smokes weed, drugs, drinks, gamble, the list can go on....so ashamed to have a bro like him)

So i suggest, if after giving that link about Ahmed... if he doesn't change his ways then let him be.

Allah SWT says:

Verily the hypocrites will be in the lowest depth (grade) of the Fire, no helper will you find for them (An-Nisaa' 4:145

Whomsoever Allah guides then there is NO ONE who can misguide him and whomsoever Allah leaves to stray then there is NO ONE who can guide him

With me i cant wait to get married and move soo far away where i dont even have to see his disgusting shameful face again. And i mean it. My blood boils everytime i see him.

:w:
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IbnAbdulHakim
09-23-2008, 10:54 AM
your mum and dad should fix him up

if he dont listen to your parents then kick him out AFTER giving a lecture of how disgusting his become (again not you giving the lecture but your parents)

he just needs a wake up call sis, give it to him, show him how shameless and disgusting his become


if i was in your situation i woulda given him the propa emotional yet strict and stern shouting session followed by a "leave this house if u gnna cause us all grief you aint worth it you sick piece o...." i would say be gentle but you already said it right? guys shameless, so hand him the mouth and stick together i say !


you get the picture
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true_muslimmah
09-23-2008, 11:01 AM
[QUOTE=IbnAbdulHakim;1009682]your mum and dad should fix him up

if he dont listen to your parents then kick him out AFTER giving a lecture of how disgusting his become (again not you giving the lecture but your parents)

he just needs a wake up call sis, give it to him, show him how shameless and disgusting his become


if i was in your situation i woulda given him the propa emotional yet strict and stern shouting session followed by a "leave this house if u gnna cause us all grief you aint worth it you sick piece o...." i would say be gentle but you already said it right? guys shameless, so hand him the mouth and stick together i say !

Bro, it isn't that easy, well not for the MOTHERS, even though he has put my parents through hell, my mum so many times have told him to get the hell out, but she doesnt mean it because she knows he will keep coming back bcuz he has no where to go. I mean if i was her, i would beat the hell out of him, teaching him a lesson on what its like to be beaten up.

You know my mum sides with him over me and im like SubhanAllah, mum what is he compared to me and today she started having a go at me when i said something to her about him and hinted to her a Qur'anic verse. Astagfirullah.
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Umar001
09-23-2008, 11:09 AM
He fasts?
Reply

IbnAbdulHakim
09-23-2008, 11:14 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by true_muslimmah

Bro, it isn't that easy, well not for the MOTHERS, even though he has put my parents through hell, my mum so many times have told him to get the hell out, but she doesnt mean it because she knows he will keep coming back bcuz he has no where to go. I mean if i was her, i would beat the hell out of him, teaching him a lesson on what its like to be beaten up.

You know my mum sides with him over me and im like SubhanAllah, mum what is he compared to me and today she started having a go at me when i said something to her about him and hinted to her a Qur'anic verse. Astagfirullah.
sis try to be more open minded bout ur mum, it'll increase your love and understanding and give you better patience.

my mum was like that also, she always sided with the elder bros BECAUSE she was raised in a COMPLETELY different environment back home. Indoctrinations are NOT easy to get rid of! so she has a different mentality HELP HER, if a stone can soften by water over years then surely you can help her understand.

whats your dad doing? his the one who should be kicking 4$$ here, everytime his online doing disgusting stuff that internet cable is suppose to get pulled, whats your dad doing?
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------
09-23-2008, 11:16 AM
:salamext:

format_quote Originally Posted by Al Habeshi
He fasts?
Yeh I think so, from what anon said;

format_quote Originally Posted by AnonymousGender
fasting without praying isnt going to be of any help.
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Umar001
09-23-2008, 11:23 AM
MashaAllah that is good. As for the praying insha'Allah he only does not pray due to lazyness.

May be you should try ask him for advice? I have a feeling you are a sister, maybe you could ask him what to do if a guy approaches you, and ask him are all guys the same i.e. they just take advantage of girls, and why do they do that?

(I think this will makehim think about his actions and his responsability towards you)
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true_muslimmah
09-23-2008, 11:25 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by Al Habeshi
He fasts?
My brother doesnt fast nor does he pray, give zakat, NOTHING.

This is the reason why my mum had a go at me in the morning. I asked why doesn't he fast? She said oh he feel sicks. And i was like subhanAllah is that any excuse. I said there are loads of other people out there in life threatning situations who fast and would do anything to fast.

And then she chucks it back in my face by saying oh why didnt you read taravih last night and im like :raging:
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true_muslimmah
09-23-2008, 11:28 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
sis try to be more open minded bout ur mum, it'll increase your love and understanding and give you better patience.

my mum was like that also, she always sided with the elder bros BECAUSE she was raised in a COMPLETELY different environment back home. Indoctrinations are NOT easy to get rid of! so she has a different mentality HELP HER, if a stone can soften by water over years then surely you can help her understand.

whats your dad doing? his the one who should be kicking 4$$ here, everytime his online doing disgusting stuff that internet cable is suppose to get pulled, whats your dad doing?
That adive more for anon bro, i dont know if my bro chats and watches porn, i will not say anything to him, he'll end up cracking me in the face again like he did last time. He spat in ma face and then the next minute punched me in the eye.....

I aint scared of him at all, he is a wimp,
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Umar001
09-23-2008, 11:31 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by true_muslimmah
My brother doesnt fast nor does he pray, give zakat, NOTHING.

This is the reason why my mum had a go at me in the morning. I asked why doesn't he fast? She said oh he feel sicks. And i was like subhanAllah is that any excuse. I said there are loads of other people out there in life threatning situations who fast and would do anything to fast.

And then she chucks it back in my face by saying oh why didnt you read taravih last night and im like :raging:
Well maybe that's the reason he does not fast?
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------
09-23-2008, 11:38 AM
format_quote Originally Posted by true_muslimmah
That adive more for anon bro, i dont know if my bro chats and watches porn, i will not say anything to him, he'll end up cracking me in the face again like he did last time. He spat in ma face and then the next minute punched me in the eye.....

I aint scared of him at all, he is a wimp,
He did WHAT?!?!?! *mutters swear words under breath* who the god daymn hell does he think he is?!?!
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Sahabiyaat
09-23-2008, 11:47 AM
:sl:

dont be shocked serene, im not,life has shown me enough, i dont think i will ever be shocked again, people like that exist, as my teacher woud say, the world is not all hunky dory, especially in our homes.

men who hit women, whether it be be their mothers, sisters or wives, have no respect for others, least of all for themselves, they are insecuree cowards and think it an act of manliness after beating up women the Prophet described as 'fragile like glass' ......

the root cause of all these problems are mothers, like you said your mother cannot hear a word against him, if my sons were to lay a finger on my daughters i would really punish them!

ukhti, u are so brave saying your not afraid, but as long as u r in that house, try not to get in his way, and protect yourself, quit giving advice to ur mother about him, she is too drunk with motherly affection to heed a word u say.You just focus on your emaan, and have patience and hope in Allahs reward and mercy, who will surely compensate you generously for your afflictions, you are in my Duas, and please dont hesitate to pm me if you want to talk :)
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noorseeker
09-23-2008, 12:06 PM
One day sister , he will wake up, theres nothing you can do, end of the day , its his life,,if he loses everyone , he can only blame your self.

Your mum will never chuck him out, the more bad guys are , the more a mother shows them love, thats how mothers are sis, they wont stop caring,
If hes being violent sister, please stay away as much as you can, you say your not scared of him, neither the less we dont want you getting hurt.

May Allah swt give him hidaya. all you can do is wait i guess
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true_muslimmah
09-23-2008, 12:24 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by nightstar
One day sister , he will wake up, theres nothing you can do, end of the day , its his life,,if he loses everyone , he can only blame your self.

Your mum will never chuck him out, the more bad guys are , the more a mother shows them love, thats how mothers are sis, they wont stop caring,
If hes being violent sister, please stay away as much as you can, you say your not scared of him, neither the less we dont want you getting hurt.

May Allah swt give him hidaya. all you can do is wait i guess
Jzk Khair sis, you are so right. In fact i am fed up off it all. He acts like he's the innocent one. Like you said stay away from him i dont even go anywhere near him, i have no reason to.

It's not the first time he punched me in the face, he has done it like 4-5 times and you know what, Allah will punish him, and he deserves whatever punishment Allah gives him.

I just want to get married, get the hell outta this madhouse and make something out of my life. I havent got the strength and energy to take all this crap in day in and day out.

I have many other problems as well. It just come to a point where it all is getting too much for me, and i am trying my best to have more sabr, but it is really hard
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true_muslimmah
09-23-2008, 12:25 PM
Sorry Anon if i have seemed to taken over your thread.
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IbnAbdulHakim
09-23-2008, 12:42 PM
^ and your dads not knocking your bro out beecoooooz?

i bet your mums unda loadsa stress too... n shes got no escape..
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Sahabiyaat
09-23-2008, 12:45 PM
some fathers just give up, in the end.
and ofcourse her mother must be going through hell with a son like that.she shud try smacking him once in while, unless he hits back ofcourse....and dnt be shocked..there are sons who do that.

sorry original poster, were killing your thread!
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IbnAbdulHakim
09-23-2008, 12:48 PM
^ he needs to get knockd out


seriously i dont see anything else that will work, taking away his sense of strength and power wil make him more humble, scared... he'll think more clearly and sensibally.

i know what i would do if i knew him...
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true_muslimmah
09-23-2008, 01:29 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
^ he needs to get knockd out


seriously i dont see anything else that will work, taking away his sense of strength and power wil make him more humble, scared... he'll think more clearly and sensibally.

i know what i would do if i knew him...
Wanna come and do it for me then bro?
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IbnAbdulHakim
09-23-2008, 01:32 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by true_muslimmah
Wanna come and do it for me then bro?
its better if its someone he knows and respects that does it, you seriously dont know ANYONE that he respects? an elder?


or is he too gangsta to fear anyone :rollseyes
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true_muslimmah
09-23-2008, 01:34 PM
format_quote Originally Posted by IbnAbdulHakim
its better if its someone he knows and respects that does it, you seriously dont know ANYONE that he respects? an elder?


or is he too gangsta to fear anyone :rollseyes
He has NO respect for anyone. No one wants to get involved. My bro who is a year older then me was gna bash him with a cricket bat.....long story
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Güven
09-23-2008, 02:17 PM
Well I have A Brother wos Even Worse He Doesnt even Fast , And Nevr Did In Hs Life , Never Prayed , Iguess He doesnt Even Know How To pray He doenst Know Anything about The deen , I did Notice a Little Imaan Tho But Very Rarely
But Only Allah Can Guide him Now , May Allah Guide Your Brother My Brother Our brothers and All Of Us Amiin

:w:
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truemuslim
09-23-2008, 02:37 PM
aw cmon dont say your gna kill him, he's your bro, my bro was worse and he was/is only 18, i always made dua he would just get married and avoid the american people and haram, and guess what, he got married and totally regrets what he used to do, and you kno what? he even praying now, so surprising.

so your real answer is DUA. :) make tons and tons of dua for him when u pray
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Güven
09-23-2008, 02:42 PM
^^MashaAllah Was That The Bro Who Was All Gangsta ?
MashaAllah ! True Dua is A very Strong Weapon :)
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truemuslim
09-23-2008, 02:47 PM
^ i got two older, one gangsta, the other gangsta-er. they both still gangsta and gangsta blud for life, he even turning his wife gangsta, but at least he sticking to deen, life, and avoiding my dad as much as possible (they got half the world between them :p)
so gangsta dont matter, deeeen matters, and you sis make dua for ur bro, every prayer make dua, :)
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SubhanAllah!
09-23-2008, 03:07 PM
:sl:

A person will not pray consistently unless they understand why they have to do it. They will either pray because someone just told them to, or to show off, every reason except for the sake of Allah. I remember being told to pray by my parents and I would go in the room, sit down for 5 minutes and come back to act like I prayed. Why? Because of the lack of understanding of why it had to be done.

How did the situation change? When my environment changed slightly. I went to Islamic conferences and Itikaaf just because my friends were going and Alhamdulilah, being in that environment, being forced to listen to the talks about deen somehow affected my heart and gave me enough reason to return home and begin praying for Allah. It didn't stop there and I had to keep the momentum going or else I would lose it and that was done by continually exposing myself to that environment and slowly but surely the haram actions began to fade.

So that is one method of trying to bring about change. Maybe ask him to take you to an Islamic conference and say that he should remain with you until it is over. Don't tell him that he should listen to it, but just be there. Start with small ones because he might not have the patience to stick around at the longer ones unless he was just 'chilling' with friends.

I don't know your brother or your situation, but the idea is to get him somewhere where he will involuntarily listen to talks about deen.

May Allah bring us on as Siraat al Mustaqeem.

:w:
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AnonymousPoster
09-24-2008, 01:43 AM
oh, i thought i was the only sister with the bad brother ... seems many are like ... its heartbreaking :cry:

well, if the bro wants to listen then he will. if he doesnt he wont. last night i had a fight with him ... he was kind of cursing me , that i will miserable if i get married & all. he thinks im a nag ... who wont be if she got a bro like him!

i think that his friends(girls or boys) have been feeding him stuff like that. staying out doors till late at night & out of the house for the whole days. if someone is jumping in the well, a sensible person wont becoz its not worth doing whats hip & trendy just for the sake of it! i heard him talk to his friend that im some worthless stuff & a burden.

i dont think there is anything i can do ..else he gets sense & hidayah from Allah ... and for that i can just pray ... my mom knows everything but she doesnt do anything at all ... she just prays ...i know we should rely on Allah but im sure He would want us to take some effort to solve the matter. im just scared & worried that he will bring shame to us all ... hurt my parents in everyway because he isnt a son any parent would wish for. dont know whats so wrong with him :cry::enough!:

i request you all to pray for his imaan - for his heart& mind to open & see what wrong path he has chosen for himself ... the path that will be doom for him & will heart break my parents. plz pray for him & all of us as well.

thank you soooo much
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