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dilkadr
09-22-2008, 10:04 PM
:sl:

“A woman is married for four reasons, her wealth, lineage, status and Deen. Choose the one who is religious.” (Sahih al-Bukhari)

Well, it says choose the one who is religious... But, in present times, what would be your choice???
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09-23-2008, 11:43 AM
:salamext:

What do u mean PRESENT TIMES?! Islam was always the same and will always remain the same! So even now the brothers and sisters choice should be islamic, as it is plain daft choosing someone 'fit and unislamic' over someone 'ugly and islamic' if they are gonna take you away from ur lord!!!!
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noorseeker
09-23-2008, 11:49 AM
Personally dont know of many practising sisters, wouldnt know where to look.

but nowa days yes i think religion plays a big part, and only a religious girl would consider me, if she was wealthy , thats her business, i wont go asking for money,

Looks, as the days go by, im more into personality, im not all that, so dont want double standards
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Re.TiReD
09-23-2008, 11:51 AM
:salamext:

I'm sorry but I wouldnt marry a woman, full stop.

WassalamuAlaykum
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09-23-2008, 11:52 AM
:salamext:

^ hahaha (!) Lol same thing applies to guys
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Re.TiReD
09-23-2008, 11:54 AM
:wasalamex

I'd marry the pious one. If he loves me he will treat me well. And if for some reason he dint love me his Imaan and Taqwa would stop him treating me unjustly.

Thats a saying I think [paraphrased] ..

WassalamuAlaykum
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Sahabiyaat
09-23-2008, 12:25 PM
:)akhee, lineage and status sort go in the same group, i think u missed out the most popular attribute.....im suprised you missed out.....wait for it.....beauty:D


most ppl, men and women, will marry for beauty and piety....i think were past the days marrying for wealth and status...unless ur a goldigga :X
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Cabdullahi
09-23-2008, 12:42 PM
...
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Al-Zaara
09-23-2008, 12:43 PM
Deen and intelligence.


Oh, no intelligence to choose? Deen only then. I've got enough intelligence for two, mashaAllah. He can just listen to me and my wisdom then. :D joking
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Sahabiyaat
09-23-2008, 12:46 PM
^ :giggling:lol

akhee frog, i have heard that sentance so many times, i think ill just go to sleep.
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Najm
09-23-2008, 12:47 PM
AsSalamOAlaikum WaRehmatuAllah WaBarkatuhu

All four are important, but for i would have to say DEEN 100%

Wealth, lineage and status, are important, but from my knowledge these are more "worldy based". Your deen will decide the hereafter. Deen is most important to me because, when you look at your partner, they should remind you of your Lord. A persons imaan would be stronger if the person they choose to spend their whole life with remains strong in faith. They can easily help each other to be strong in faith and their acts of worship, and as well as their children to grow up in the best environment.:statisfie

p.s. the other 3 is important as well:)

FiAmaaniAllah
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IbnAbdulHakim
09-23-2008, 12:51 PM
i'd go for beauty(this implies a beautiful character) then piety

but i wouldnt go for beauty WITHOUT piety

the beauty helps loving the wife, its baked by scholars too
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Sahabiyaat
09-23-2008, 12:55 PM
when you have piety, it beautifys your character anway.

and there is nothing wrong with desiring physical beauty,it human to do so. like i said it all boils down to 2 things, 1) piety 2) beauty (as a bonus)
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IbnAbdulHakim
09-23-2008, 01:00 PM
Originally Posted by Sahabiyaat
when you have piety, it beautifys your character anway.)
a lot of sahabi's / sahabiyaats where deems as physically not attractive, i think abdullah ibn masud was one of them wallahu a'lam
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Al-Zaara
09-23-2008, 01:09 PM
Originally Posted by Sahabiyaat
and there is nothing wrong with desiring physical beauty,it human to do so. like i said it all boils down to 2 things, 1) piety 2) beauty (as a bonus)
I disagree. For me personally, intelligence comes before beauty, as in education and over-all intellectual level.
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Sahabiyaat
09-23-2008, 01:09 PM
and look how much the prophet loved julaybib :D
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Sahabiyaat
09-23-2008, 01:10 PM
Originally Posted by Al-Zaara
I disagree. For me personally, intelligence comes before beauty, as in education and over-all intellectual level.
nerdy people are annoying:D...i thought you said there was no intelligence option :D


and you know when i say beauty...im not saying blonde hair and blue eyes........just normal looking...whatever normal is lol,....i would just have a problem...say if they had a second nose, or hump backed or something.:-[
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Re.TiReD
09-23-2008, 01:11 PM
Originally Posted by Sahabiyaat
and look how much the prophet loved julaybib :D

he told one of the companions to look at the women of the ansaar b4 propsing since they had something with their eyes that made em look diff.

Beauty is important, up to a person what they put first though. Personally its Deen.
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Al-Zaara
09-23-2008, 01:11 PM
Nerdy and smart are two different things. ;D

But you said "it all boils down to two things" and I shockingly assumed you meant beyond the hadith. ;D
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Sahabiyaat
09-23-2008, 01:13 PM
see my above edited post, with clarification of my view
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Al-Zaara
09-23-2008, 01:15 PM
Blonde and blue eyes! Hahaha... I see that daily and no, I am not surrounded by gorgeous people. :D Well, then again, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.
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Sahabiyaat
09-23-2008, 01:17 PM
lol, agreed...and no offence to two nosed ppl and humpbacks :-[
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IbnAbdulHakim
09-23-2008, 01:19 PM
Edit



might cause offence to some people, sry
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Sahabiyaat
09-23-2008, 01:23 PM
ok :-[
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Cabdullahi
09-23-2008, 01:27 PM
...
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Sahabiyaat
09-23-2008, 01:33 PM
ok

can i clarify one more time, that i really regret mentioning this beauty aspect!!!!!!!!!!!:mmokay:

tune down my preference!!, just dont want a humpback.....:cry:...is that too much to ask for.

lol ok...going off-topic, back on topic now.
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YusufNoor
09-23-2008, 01:52 PM
Originally Posted by dilkadr
:sl:

“A woman is married for four reasons, her wealth, lineage, status and Deen. Choose the one who is religious.” (Sahih al-Bukhari)

Well, it says choose the one who is religious... But, in present times, what would be your choice???
:sl:

(doublechecks to make sure this isn't in the sister's section...:X)

i met a divorced sister living by herself, on section 8, and with no money. she told me that she gets up everday to read 1 Juz of the Qur'an before Fajr and that she fasts every Monday and Thursday...




















we've been married for 14 months now! :thumbs_up

:w:
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Güven
09-23-2008, 02:11 PM
^MashaAllah Bro

I would Choose Someone Whos is Always By My Side No matter What Happens , the One Who Forgives , The One Who Is Full Of Imaan , Full Of Knowledge and is Loyal and Beautiful (inner And Outer) Like Me Oke ?Naah Just Kiddin:D
But No Seriously Deen Is Very Important , Even If Its The Most Beautiful Woman In The Universe But Has Not a Single Imaan or Deen I wouldnt Marry Her :)
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Ibn Abi Ahmed
09-23-2008, 04:18 PM
:sl:

I would go for attraction first (in the case of an already regular practicing Hijabi) becuase I don't want to leave off a nice pious sister simply because I realize that I'm not attracted to her..to me that's like choosing something material over something much more valuable. Like wise, I wouldn't marry a supermodel sister if she lacked in the deen department. So its gotta be both, Insha'Allaah. The more of either quality the better. And if she has wealth and lineage along with that, that would be perfect. :D
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Cabdullahi
09-23-2008, 04:26 PM
...
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Ibn Abi Ahmed
09-23-2008, 04:31 PM
Originally Posted by Ahmedjunior
^ brother i feel you are asking for too much
:sl: bro,

Do you mean in regards to lineage and wealth? You're probably right. But those personally don't matter to me in the least. If my wife has it, then its a plus. If she doesn't, then it's no problem. But I don't think its too much if one wants to look for a sister that has both beauty and deen.
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------
09-23-2008, 04:34 PM
Originally Posted by Ahmedjunior
^ brother i feel you are asking for too much
Snap!!
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*~~AdAn~~*
09-23-2008, 04:35 PM
Salaam !deen ,piety is above evrything long lasting , beauty is a temporary thing and if we are trying 2 be good muslims and striving for jannah definitly! we should obey hadithThe Prophet said Sallahlahualihaywassalm , "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers. Narrated Abu Huraira: Volume 7, Book 62, Number 27:
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*~~AdAn~~*
09-23-2008, 04:39 PM
Originally Posted by - Serene -
:salamext:

^ hahaha (!) Lol same thing applies to guys
yes i do agree :)
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Cabdullahi
09-23-2008, 04:48 PM
...
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Cabdullahi
09-23-2008, 04:53 PM
...
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Sahabiyaat
09-23-2008, 05:27 PM
akhee, just a question, you keep saying 'simple', what do u mean simple???
low maintenance:X lol. or somebody who is not too extravagant in their habits, looks, ideas etc...

i dont get what simple means :?:-[
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Z-Blade
09-23-2008, 05:38 PM
Originally Posted by dilkadr
:sl:

“A woman is married for four reasons, her wealth, lineage, status and Deen. Choose the one who is religious.” (Sahih al-Bukhari)

Well, it says choose the one who is religious... But, in present times, what would be your choice???
:wasalamex:,

Astaghfirullah, the hadith been has been quoted wrongly, but no one noticed (EDIT: Except sis Sahabiyaat :O ) since it's too well known, huhu.

Hadith Al-Bukhari - Narrated Abu Huraira:
The Prophet (Sallallahu 'alaihi wasallam) said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman (otherwise) you will be a losers.

Haha you better marry the religious one or you'll be a loser, I laugh at all the losers!! ;D *runs away*

Wassalam.
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Sahabiyaat
09-23-2008, 05:41 PM
Originally Posted by Z-Blade
:wasalamex:,

Astaghfirullah, the hadith been has been quoted wrongly, but no one noticed since it's too well known, huhu.
i noticed :mmokay:
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Cabdullahi
09-23-2008, 05:55 PM
...
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Danah
09-23-2008, 06:15 PM
alhumdulilah that there are still those people who priorities deen (honestly)
but many (and I mean really many) of the other are contradicting themselves when they said that deen comes first....

I agree with brother dilkadr on his *present time*....many people changed their intentions la hawl wa la qwat ila billah

lets look at this scenario:

someone wanna describe a girl to the guy that he want to ask for her hand, the first thing they will say ..... ''masha allah she is pretty!! '' THEN....'' and she ALSO is a good worshiper '' subhan allah
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truemuslim
09-23-2008, 06:32 PM
Most people nowadays just look at beauty and status. they dont look at deen or nothing else.
In my opinion family status matters, but deen of course, matter WAY more. WHen she has deen and you have deen thats a recipe for the perfect religious life, and religious kids, you would support each other in not commiting haram, believe the same thing and fear the same one. But with beauty all you got is something good to look. Nothing else. yeh thats good to get that as an extra but not as a MAIN thing.
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Ibn Abi Ahmed
09-23-2008, 06:39 PM
:sl:

Let's remember that all of us who aren't married are speaking theoretically, we really don't know what we'll do when we are actually engaged in the process of looking and getting married.
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truemuslim
09-23-2008, 06:42 PM
Originally Posted by Abu Sayyad
:sl:

Let's remember that all of us who aren't married are speaking theoretically, we really don't know what we'll do when we are actually engaged in the process of looking and getting married.
lol good point. but we just looking to what we WOULD look at. :)
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Amatullah_
09-23-2008, 07:12 PM
Originally Posted by truemuslim
Most people nowadays just look at beauty and status. they dont look at deen or nothing else.
In my opinion family status matters, but deen of course, matter WAY more. WHen she has deen and you have deen thats a recipe for the perfect religious life, and religious kids, you would support each other in not commiting haram, believe the same thing and fear the same one. But with beauty all you got is something good to look. Nothing else. yeh thats good to get that as an extra but not as a MAIN thing.
Exactly! Deen is priority! No doubt about it!

But...

Nothing wrong with wanting beauty, b/cus c'mon now lets be realistic...everyone loves beauty! (doesnt mean she/he has to have the looks of Miss/Mr Universe). You have to wake up and go to bed and see this person all around you your whole life so its only fair to say she/he must look a certain way for you. Besides, with all these women showing off their beauty for all men to google at, its best to marry someone you find attractive. Thats why we are encouraged to see the person whom we intend to marry, aint it?

That's why I asked to see my hubby b/4 marrying him. :D Although he had consented without seeing me (and he never lets me forget about it) I knew he had the qualities of a practicing Muslim, but I just needed to have a peek at what he looked like.:statisfie
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Afraa
09-23-2008, 07:18 PM
I would choose Deen but appearance is so hard to overlook. hmmm
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dilkadr
09-24-2008, 01:08 AM
Originally Posted by - Serene -
:salamext:

What do u mean PRESENT TIMES?! Islam was always the same and will always remain the same! So even now the brothers and sisters choice should be islamic, as it is plain daft choosing someone 'fit and unislamic' over someone 'ugly and islamic' if they are gonna take you away from ur lord!!!!
U R Right Islam is same through the ages and will remain same...

but human beings keep changing,

for example, in some parts of world more then one marriages is OK. where in some parts it is not much appreciated.
or
in the time of Rasool Allah [PBUH] more then one marriages were OK. now a days it is not that much common.
or
in some parts of Muslim world women go to Masjids and in some part they are not going to Masjids.
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dilkadr
09-24-2008, 01:16 AM
Originally Posted by JσℓιєFℓєυя
:salamext:

I'm sorry but I wouldnt marry a woman, full stop.

WassalamuAlaykum
Oh, sorry... it is equally applicable for selecting a husband...

so what you would chose...
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dilkadr
09-24-2008, 01:18 AM
Originally Posted by - Serene -
:salamext:

^ hahaha (!) Lol same thing applies to guys
u r right again...
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dilkadr
09-24-2008, 01:20 AM
Originally Posted by Sahabiyaat
:)akhee, lineage and status sort go in the same group, i think u missed out the most popular attribute.....im suprised you missed out.....wait for it.....beauty:D


most ppl, men and women, will marry for beauty and piety....i think were past the days marrying for wealth and status...unless ur a goldigga :X
yeah, i read the same in Urdu and it says beauty, education or wealth...

but i found it online. and i believe it is OK.....
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dilkadr
09-24-2008, 01:23 AM
Originally Posted by Al-Zaara
Deen and intelligence.


Oh, no intelligence to choose? Deen only then. I've got enough intelligence for two, mashaAllah. He can just listen to me and my wisdom then. :D joking
ha ha ha,,,

do you think intelligent men exist....

i don't think so...
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Güven
09-24-2008, 01:26 AM
^Aghm *cough* *Cough* *COUGH* SOmething Wrong With My Throat Lol :D

Anyway This Is Goin Offtopic :)

:w:
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S_87
09-24-2008, 01:33 AM
Deen, looks (though beauty is in the eyes of the beholder :) ) and wealth/stability
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SubhanAllah!
09-24-2008, 01:39 AM
Originally Posted by dilkadr
:sl:

“A woman is married for four reasons, her wealth, lineage, status and Deen. Choose the one who is religious.” (Sahih al-Bukhari)

Well, it says choose the one who is religious... But, in present times, what would be your choice???
:sl:

I would consider deen only, not interested in the other reasons. In present times if the partners do not have deen then the relationship is bound for disaster.

I would like a wife who would pray tahajjud with me. Husband and wife should help each other attain Jannah. Wealth, lineage and status are meaningless if there is no deen.

:w:
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dilkadr
09-24-2008, 01:49 AM
Originally Posted by YusufNoor
:sl:

(doublechecks to make sure this isn't in the sister's section...:X)

i met a divorced sister living by herself, on section 8, and with no money. she told me that she gets up everday to read 1 Juz of the Qur'an before Fajr and that she fasts every Monday and Thursday...

we've been married for 14 months now! :thumbs_up

:w:
Subhan Allah... I believe both of you are lucky...
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dilkadr
09-24-2008, 02:01 AM
Originally Posted by Abu Sayyad
:sl:

Let's remember that all of us who aren't married are speaking theoretically, we really don't know what we'll do when we are actually engaged in the process of looking and getting married.
You are right...

But it is just to know what is one persons mind or heart...
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doorster
10-03-2008, 03:49 PM
what is beautiful to one person may look to another as if they've just fallen out of ugly tree

anyhoo Anon says:

The foremost factor is that there should be harmony between both in terms of their financial status and religious set up. Religion is not a trivial matter to be ignored while choosing your prospective husband/wife.
Marriage means that two persons are going to live together for the rest of their lives. Whichever of them is lesser in financial status is going to end up as a virtual slave of the other (I know, I know, it is not like that in the elusive utopian world, but it is so in mine)

:w:
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10-03-2008, 03:51 PM
:salamext:

When the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam said we should look at deen first, full stop. Why are we debating?
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doorster
10-03-2008, 04:00 PM
Does He (P.B.U.H) really say that to the exclusion of other conditions?
would you like to expand on that point? I dont mean by refering me back to the hadith but by quoting scholarly opinion which may include that or any number of other Ahadees

in any case it is LIStaff who stop debates not you or I

wa salaam
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Ibn Abi Ahmed
10-03-2008, 04:20 PM
Originally Posted by - Serene -
:salamext:

When the Prophet Sallallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam said we should look at deen first, full stop. Why are we debating?
:wasalamex

Sister, he also encouraged us to look at those who we want to marry.

Abu Hurairah narrated that the Messenger of Allaah said to a man who told him that he had got engaged: "Have you looked at her?". The man replied: "No". He said to him: "Go and look at her, for it is more likely to create affection between the two of you".

Related by Muslim.
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