brothers pls

[AnonymousPoster]

so i m a 16 years old boy
i have this problem i m addicted to masturbating
i try reli hard to avoid it but still cant
so wanted to ask u plp to give me some advice
pls i reli want to stop it:laugh:

[------]

:salamext:


How to Stop Masturbation


Allah Ta'ala has created man with innate carnal desires, and has made Nikah a lawful and dignified avenue to discharge these desires.


Under normal circumstances, Nikah is Sunnah. If a man's sexual desires reach a stage where there is a strong fear that he will be involved in Zina (fornication), it will then be Waajib (compulsory) for him to make Nikah. At this juncture, shyness is no excuse. The man will have to approach his elders and request them to make arrangements for his Nikah.


Nikah should not be delayed or avoided for fear of poverty and want. In the Ahaadith, we are told that Nikah creates Barakah in one's sustenance. Allah Ta'ala has taken it upon himself to assist that person who performs Nikah in order to protect his chastity. Nikah is a simple and inexpensive affair in Islam. The errant customs of societies have made it difficult for others. The solution is to abandon all such customs and conduct the Nikah strictly according to the Sunnah. Nikah, then will not be a burden, rather it will release one from a burden.


The next step would be to guard the gaze. It is, thus, imperative to strictly guard the gaze. Where it is practical, avoid all such situations where ones gaze may fall on Ghayr Mahram (women not prohibited in Nikah) females. TV, books, magazines, internet, newspapers, should be shunned.


Should one's gaze accidentally fall on some woman, immediately lower the gaze. This is not difficult. It only requires some courage and training. Some points that may assist in this are:


1. Consider that this is not a calamity but rather an opportunity to win a big prize. It is a once in a life opportunity to strike a huge windfall. In the Hadith, we are told that a person, who, after having been tempted, lowers his gaze, Allah Ta'ala will grant him the sweetness of Imaan. What more can one ask for? The one who has the sweetness of Imaan has everything. Others strive their entire life for this very goal of finding the sweetness of Imaan. Here is the opportunity to acquire this in a split second. Therefore, lower the gaze and in your heart make this transaction with Allah Ta'ala that, 'O Allah! I am lowering my gaze for you. So you grant me your share of the deal, i.e. the sweetness of Imaan.


2. By maintaining the gaze, one is in fact moving to the depths of Jahannum (hell). And by lowering the gaze, one is ascending the highest ranks of Jannah.


3. Consider the reality of the woman at whom one is gazing. If she does not groom herself or apply perfume for one day, she will look dreadful and stink. For a number of days every month she has impurity pouring out of her. If one had to just go near such impurity, one will wish to flee. Imagine if she went to the toilet and forget to flush and, if you had to enter the toilet, will you still have the desire to gaze at her? If this woman does not have Deen, then by raising her arms and exposing her unsightly armpits, she will give out the smell of a skunk. These are some thoughts (although undignified), will assist one in taming the evil desire to look at women.


4. Try as far as possible to remain in the state of Wudhu. In the Hadith, we are informed that Wudhu is the weapon of a Mu'min. With this weapon, it is much easier for him to thwart the onslaughts of Shaytaan.


5. Try to remain in the company of the true friends of Allah Ta'ala. The true friends are those that, when you sit with them they remind you of Allah Ta'ala and their company produces a desire for the Aakhirah (hereafter). The company of such people is extremely effacious in imbuing the obedience of Allah Ta'ala, and in cultivating an abhorrence to sin.


6. There must surely be somebody who you have a lot of respect for, e.g. your mother, father, grand parents, Ustaadh or Shaykh. Consider if that person was present, would you indulge in the evil of masturbating. The very fact that the presence of such a person will deter you is sufficient to show that you do have the strength to abstain from this evil. When the presence of such a person will be a cause for controlling one's desires, consider that fact that the Malaaikah (angels) are with you and are watching. Progress and consider that Allah Ta'ala is watching you. Do you not feel ashamed of His presence whereas you feel ashamed of the presence of a human being. Is this the degree of respect that Allah Ta'ala deserves?


May Allah Ta'ala save you and every Ummati from this evil, Aameen.

and Allah Ta'ala Knows Best

Mufti Ebrahim Desai


Source

[IbnAbdulHakim]

bro you gotta stop all games/movies/music and even hanging around with people which might contain any nudity at all. stop watching even sitcoms which might make you wanna do that

read books on islaam, Increase your ammount of worship and Quran recitation <--- VEERY IMPORTANT!!!

the more you worship, the further you will come from the bad habit, the less you worship... the more tempted you'll be.


women are the greatest fitnah for men bro, stay strong


Assalamu Alaikum

[SubhanAllah!]

so i m a 16 years old boy
i have this problem i m addicted to masturbating
i try reli hard to avoid it but still cant
so wanted to ask u plp to give me some advice
pls i reli want to stop it:laugh:

:sl:

May Allah help you overcome your problem.

When you get the urge to masturbate call up some friends and go out. You wouldn't masturbate outside anywhere.

Put up posters of Surahs on your wall and keep a Qur'an in your room. Would you masturbate in their presence?

If you feel the urge, then maybe go do wudhu, pray 2 rakaat nafl and hold on to the Qur'an(you don't even have to read it). You wouldn't masturbate with a Qur'an in your hand.

Try fasting some days as well.

These are techniques to keep you from masturbating while you got the urge. I don't think there is a way to kill the urge. Keep applying techniques like this until you are old enough to get marriage then do it!

While doing all this it is important to keep yourself connected with the right company; religious friends, religious family, the people on this board.

:w:

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[qassy!]

errr......go to the gym umm sports, have a shower.....this makes me sickk err...

[------]

:salamext:

^ A lot of people have problems and it's the Ummah's duty to help them. If you cannot give sensible comments, don't post.

[qassy!]

:salamext:

^ A lot of people have problems and it's the Ummah's duty to help them. If you cannot give sensible comments, don't post.

i did sports, gym......shower........

[M..x]

Serene Dude, Dun't think tha brav above meant any harm. I mean its not a pleasant faut to think brother's indulge in such fins. Buh neverthaless, he knows its wrong & tha advise and thing you gave is top. So I hope e has tha ability to refrain from it inshAllah. Good Luck. Keep tha faith =)

[Re.TiReD]

lol ^

Erm yeah ditto at serene's advice.

And a hadeeth to reinforce IbnAbdulHakim's point:

Oh I liked this btw, its not entirely relevant but interesting:

Question:


I am a 16 yr old girl.I recently changed my school.
Please could tou tell me how must i conduct myself in school.The girls to boys ratio is grossly unfair in this school.For eg in my chem class there are nearly 15 boys and only 3 girls!so sometimes when i need help with a ques or have an urgent doubt ihave to callup guys(vvvreluctantly).Moreover, since there are so few girls the guys are so frank with us. i spend about7hrs in school and i guess its not possible to not talk to anyone.Please let me know how should i behave in school .is it ok if i talk to guys or is it better that i not try be friendly with them?.

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

Your attending a mixed school is haraam according to sharee’ah, because the mixing that you describe is exposing you to moral corruption and may be a means of causing you to commit sin.

In many ahaadeeth, the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) warned men against the fitnah (temptation) of women, and he indicated that the matter is so serious that their fitnah is the worst of fitnahs and the most harmful thing.

It was narrated from Usaamah ibn Zayd (may Allaah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I am not leaving behind me any fitnah more harmful to men than women.”

Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 4808; Muslim 2740

It was narrated from ‘Uqbah ibn ‘Aamir that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Beware of entering upon women.” A man from among the Ansaar said, “O Messenger of Allaah, what about the in-law?’ He said, “The in-law is death.”

Al-Bukhaari, 4934; Muslim, 2172

Ibn Hajar said, commenting on the first hadeeth:

This hadeeth indicates that the fitnah caused by women is greater than any other fitnah. This is supported by the verse in which Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Beautified for men is the love of things they covet; women…”

[Aal ‘Imraan 3:14]

Allaah described them as being among the things that men covet, and He mentioned them first, before the other things, to indicate that they are the cause of the fitnah. We can see that a man is more inclined to love the children of a woman to whom he is still married than the children of a woman whom he has divorced.

Fath al-Baari, 9/138

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) said:

Undoubtedly allowing women to mix freely with men is the basis of all evils. This is one of the greatest causes of punishment coming down upon everyone and of public and private affairs becoming corrupt. Free mixing of men and women is the cause of much immorality and adultery, and it is the cause of general doom and diseases.

…

One of the greatest causes of general doom is the prevalence of adultery because of allowing women to mix freely with men and to walk amongst them making a wanton display of their beauty. If the powers that be knew how much corruption it causes to worldly interests and to people, they would prevent it most vigorously.

Al-Turuq al-Hakamiyyah, p. 408

In the mixing that you describe, it is not possible to lower one's gaze and it provokes women to desire men and vice versa. This is not permissible; rather this is the thing that leads to corruption. If the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) forbade that for his own cousin (son of his paternal uncle) al-Fadl ibn al-‘Abbaas, when he was riding with him on his mount and they were performing one of the dearest acts of worship to Allaah, namely the Hajj, when Al-Fadl was in the company of the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and at the time of the Sahaabah who were the most pious of people, then how can we allow the women of our own times, when diseases of the heart are widespread and religious commitment is at such a low level, to sit in the same place as men without a mahram, for so many hours every day?

Fear Allaah, my sister, and do not go to this school, no matter how difficult that may be. We will quote to you the hadeeth of al-Fadl referred to above:

It was narrated that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: Al-Fadl was the riding partner of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). A woman from (the tribe of) Kath’am came, and al-Fadl started looking at her and she started looking at him, so the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) turned al-Fadl’s face to the other side. She said, “O Messenger of Allaah, the command of Allaah enjoining Hajj upon His slaves has come when my father is an old man and is not steady on his mount; can I do Hajj on his behalf?” He said, “Yes.” That was the Farewell pilgrimage.

Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1442; Muslim, 1334.

Ibn ‘Abd al-Barr (may Allaah have mercy on him) said, commenting on this hadeeth:

This hadeeth demonstrates the natural desire for women that is created in human beings, and what may be feared from looking at them. Al-Fadl ibn ‘Abbaas was one of the young men of Banu Haashim, and he was the most handsome man of his time, according to what they said.

This also indicates that the ruler must prevent men and women from looking at one another. That includes preventing the women for whom there is no guarantee that they will not cause or be subject to temptation from walking in the streets and marketplaces and places where they can look at men. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I am not leaving behind me any fitnah more harmful to men than women.” And Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

“Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts)…”

[al-Noor 24:31]

This is sufficient for the one who ponders the meanings of the Book of Allaah and is guided to act upon it.

Al-Tamheed, 9/123-124

There is no need for mixing. Studying in this school is not essential; so long as a woman can read and write and knows the teachings of her religion, that is sufficient, because she was created for that, i.e., to worship Allaah. Anything beyond that is not essential.

And Allaah knows best.



Islam Q&A (www.islam-qa.com)
http://63.175.194.25/index.php?ln=eng&QR=8827

[IbnAbdulHakim]

http://www.ummah.net/forum/showthread.php?t=111880

[__follower]

thank you all
may allah reward u all for ur help n kindness
thank you

[__follower]

dont feel shy to show my account
i hope allah will guide me thx

[IbnAbdulHakim]

Ameen :)

[alcurad]

masturbation is Not disallowed but Not encouraged either. so, no problem, despite the general view of it as a great sin etc, especially for your case since it would probably prevent you from other things/actions

advice for marriage is obviously out of the question for a 16 year old boy, and as for lowing the gaze, yes but is he going to be lowering his gaze for the next 8-10 years 'till he gets married? I mean how is that viable for his case? trying to make it haraam for him -while it's not anyway is not helping .sexual needs are very fundamental needs, if they can't be satisfied one way, they will be satisfied by another. if he can't marry he should do what?


oh and since were still in Ramadan, if a person masturbates during fasting , then the fast is broken and needs to be repeated, another view -Ibn Hazm's- is that it doesn't break it.

[جوري]

That is a sad problem really.. most folks are ready physiologically, and biologically throughout puberty, but there is a long laundry list keeping them from going about it the right way (marriage)!

Excellent advise here otherwise

Baraka Allah feekoum

[H@fiz Aziz]

lemme give u a simple advice that you;ll understand clearly take cold showers when you feel like it. Or go to jamat for 2 weeks.

[SubhanAllah!]

masturbation is Not disallowed but Not encouraged either. so, no problem, despite the general view of it as a great sin etc, especially for your case since it would probably prevent you from other things/actions

advice for marriage is obviously out of the question for a 16 year old boy, and as for lowing the gaze, yes but is he going to be lowering his gaze for the next 8-10 years 'till he gets married? I mean how is that viable for his case? trying to make it haraam for him -while it's not anyway is not helping .sexual needs are very fundamental needs, if they can't be satisfied one way, they will be satisfied by another. if he can't marry he should do what?


oh and since were still in Ramadan, if a person masturbates during fasting , then the fast is broken and needs to be repeated, another view -Ibn Hazm's- is that it doesn't break it.

:sl:

Brother, are you saying masturbation is makrooh? The situation you describe plagues every young man. Is it your advice that they all masturbate? It seems that you are trying to bring some sort of justification.

Can you post the evidence of masturbation being makrooh please? I have never seen any.

jazaakaAllahu khair

:w:

[barney]

I dont really have any advice, but best of luck :)

[roohani.doctor]

get married bro :)

[roohani.doctor]

oh you are 16 only? in that case, ummm listen to all the people here... they've got some sound advice!

[AnonymousPoster]

Bro , your only 16 , its a great time to try and stop, but remember a guy is at his sexual peak at 18, i wont lie it will be really really hard, set your self sort term goals first, sau a week then 2, then slowly build your self up.

[alcurad]

:sl:

Brother, are you saying masturbation is makrooh? The situation you describe plagues every young man. Is it your advice that they all masturbate? It seems that you are trying to bring some sort of justification.

Can you post the evidence of masturbation being makrooh please? I have never seen any.

jazaakaAllahu khair

:w:

it's in a book I read, I looked around but couldn't find it in e-format or in a website.

I did find what Ibn Hazm said of it though:

وإباحة قوم - كما روينا بالسند المذكور إلى عبد الرزاق نا ابن جريج أخبرني إبراهيم بن أبي بكر عن رجل عن ابن عباس أنه قال : وما هو إلا أن يعرك أحدكم زبه حتى ينزل الماء .
حدثنا محمد بن سعيد بن نبات نا أحمد بن عون الله نا قاسم بن أصبغ نا محمد بن عبد السلام الخشني نا محمد بن بشار - بندار - أنا محمد بن جعفر - غندر - نا شعبة عن قتادة عن رجل عن ابن عمر أنه قال : إنما هو عصب تدلكه .
وبه - إلى قتادة عن العلاء بن زياد عن أبيه أنهم كانوا يفعلونه في المغازي " يعني الاستمناء " يعبث الرجل بذكره يدلكه حتى ينزل -
قال قتادة : وقال الحسن في الرجل يستمني يعبث بذكره حتى ينزل ، قال : كانوا يفعلون في المغازي .
وعن جابر بن زيد أبي الشعثاء قال : هو ماؤك فأهرقه " يعني الاستمناء " .
وعن مجاهد قال : كان من مضى يأمرون شبابهم بالاستمناء يستعفون بذلك -
قال عبد الرزاق : وذكره معمر عن أيوب السختياني ، أو غيره عن مجاهد عن الحسن : أنه كان لا يرى بأسا بالاستمناء .
وعن عمرو بن دينار : ما أرى بالاستمناء بأسا
قال أبو محمد رحمه الله : الأسانيد عن ابن عباس ، وابن عمر في كلا القولين - مغموزة . لكن الكراهة صحيحة عن عطاء . والإباحة المطلقة صحيحة عن الحسن . وعن عمرو بن دينار ، وعن زياد أبي العلاء ، وعن مجاهد . ورواه من رواه من هؤلاء عمن أدركوا - وهؤلاء - كبار التابعين الذين لا يكادون يروون إلا عن الصحابة رضي الله عنهم انتهى

so as you can see some of the tabi'een allowed it like Ibn Qatada and Mujahid and so on.

Ash-Shawkani -الشوكاني - also wrote a book about the subject, called :
بلوغ المنى فى حكم الأستمنا discussing it thoroughly and essentially allowing it.
also you can search for كشف الحقيقة الخفية في حكم العادة السرية بقلم الشيخ أبي مصعب الخالدي as well, I'm not sure but you'll probably find a copy in scribd.com

[islamirama]

masturbation is Not disallowed but Not encouraged either. so, no problem, despite the general view of it as a great sin etc, especially for your case since it would probably prevent you from other things/actions
.

Ruling on masturbation and how to cure the problem.

[alcurad]

Ruling on masturbation and how to cure the problem.

yes brother, but other scholars have said it is makrooh and a others have said it is allowed completely.
please note that many of these fatwa's found on the web and so on simply do not even remotely mention the views of the other scholars who allowed it, and thus people without much knowledge of the subject perceive -wrongly- that there is consensus among the scholars on it being forbidden, while that's not the case.